Looking through lover's cell phone...

anyone done it? had it done to them? evil evil!

😉 this is a great sign to discuss this with, eh? might be some dble-standards here? hehe

I've never done it, but had it done to me on several occasions. In fact, my ex even called several of my guy friends. I was so PISSED!

I'm not a snooper unless my intuition tells me something is up. Then I'm like the CIA. 😉

Hey TG what going on...


I don't snoop..I respect peoples privacy.

OK, asking cuz last nite at midnite, my scorp's cell rings, i guess it was on speaker so when he opened his cell i heard a female "hello?" he hung up. i asked him who that was & he said a name of a friend of ours. I KNOW her voice. so i was not happy. he got up and went to the bathroom, and a text came in..."Come on over, Punk!" -fr a Stacey. I don't know any Stacey. I asked him & he got so mad for snooping. I told him that, that makes him sound guilty. He said, probally some friend of friends or something from a party.

Sounds like i have some serious trouble, no? I don't think he's ever cheated, i sure. BUT he's got female friends that might not know the difference & that is NO RESPECT.

OY. Well, TG, if I were you I'd go into CIA mode.

ya, i thot about that, but it's interesting to see the initial reaction at time of situation.

Hey SL! miss ya! i'm retarded, eh? my taurus pride tested, scorp turns me to fool. 😢
i am so loyal and good to him - not fair.

"Your first mistake was asking him. Should have kept to yourself for uhh, future reference."

LOL Right on. Just gather all the evidence and keep acting like everything is hunky dory is how you play it. Now that he knows you're suspicious, I doubt you'll ever have access to that phone again. Unless you he's a very deep sleeper....

*unless he's a very deep sleeper.

Your first mistake was asking him. Should have kept to yourself for uhh, future reference..

There is nothing wrong with asking him, at least she giving hima chance to come clean, she got an answer and know it's up to her to decide what to do next.

TG do what you feel is right in you to do.

ya, i thot about that, but it's interesting to see the initial reaction at time of situation.

Hey SL! miss ya! i'm retarded, eh? my taurus pride tested, scorp turns me to fool.
i am so loyal and good to him - not fair.


Hey we talk you know that...

You are not retarded so many couples are going through some issues right know. check out some of the threads.

I will not tell or suggest to you what to do. You just do what you feel is the right thing to do.

a relationship shouldn't be an investigation, but i guess for now, i'll keep eyes W I D E open.

he is a deep sleeper too. 🙂

Maybe I'll get Stacey's number and send evil threats. hahahahah

"It's that stacey womans fault...kill her"

bling quit trying to get TG caught up...cus you know are not going to see her when she goes in the Pen for killing her 🙂

"It's that stacey womans fault...kill her"

Come to think of it...I've never known a Stacey that wasn't a complete back-stabbing bitch. No offense to any Staceys here, of course. 🙂

"a relationship shouldn't be an investigation"

No, it shouldn't, but you shouldn't be given a reason to feel suspicious, either, if everything is on the up and up. If "Stacey" was just a friend, why did he get so mad about your "snooping"?

OMG!!!! Not another one!! This is so depressing!! I'm sorry TG!!

She could always just send Stacey some pooh.

http://www.poopsenders.com/?gclid=CKH_jJPq8pUCFRTbQAodJmx8fA

What can I say? I like the classics. 🙂

Amateurs, the best revenge is to hook up with Stacey, send a pic of you two lip locked and leave his ass.

EW! I would never hook up with a Stacey. Even in the name of revenge. Do you know where their mouths have been?

Now the offender's best friend/father/brother, yes. I've found that quite satisfying..and effective. 🙂

Well that makes no sense if you are heterosexual; Stacey's mouth has been on cocks and male asses (unless she's bi) and the best friends etc have had their mouths up in women's asses and coochies (unless they are bi). So do you want to be a cocksucker or a carpet muncher by proxy?

I think he is innocent so far, but if i make it clear that female friends that call up on a weekday nite at midnite i might avoid something ugly.

temptation is evil.

and i am VERY tempted to find stacey! lol 😉

"Well that makes no sense if you are heterosexual;"

It does if you know those Staceys. I guess you don't. 😛 I do know this...if I'm out for revenge, I'm not doing another chick and giving him a show he'll enjoy. I'm going after the most attractive male closest to him. Perhaps you were just trying to help out this anonymous fellow Scorp? Awwww...comwadewie.

"and i am VERY tempted to find stacey!"

You'll find her number on the wall of the men's room at your local bar. 🙂

I think that would piss him off more, thinking that he could have been in on that had he played his cards right but instead losing 2 girls at once.

The Stacey stereotype is just being plain silly, we're having a serious discussion here😉

"I think that would piss him off more, thinking that he could have been in on that had he played his cards right but instead losing 2 girls at once."

Which he will then try to arrange.

"The Stacey stereotype is just being plain silly, we're having a serious discussion here"

Boy, will they be happy to know there are still those who are oblivious. Lambs for the slaughter. 🙂

Is this for real?

Please say this is a joke ... and you didn't make the insinuation that if something was going on between these two, that the man would be held harmless with intentions, while the woman would take responsibility with all intentions.

You've got to be kidding.

"also, let me know if i am the lone ranger here...but, i dont see anything wrong with snooping if your intuition is telling you that something is fishy"

No, I absolutely agree. She has Probable Cause in this scenario. Cops do it all the time. I've seen it on 21 Jumpstreet and NYPD Blue. 😛

It's when someone does it just to be nosey that it's UNLAWFUL snooping.

yes. i've had my cellphone looked through and my handbag (purse). i've also had my email hacked into and private letters read and i absolutely hate things like that. in my opinion, if the snooper sees something they don't like, that's their lookout. i only looked at one text on another person's phone before and i was physically sick when i read it so i got what i deserved and i would never do it again.

scorps are ultra private. it's not always because we have something to hide but then again, it mostly is.

Ok, I'd like to add my 2 cents. At this point based on what we've been told it's a no brainer that something is going on. If it was just a woman calling, then I could see how the snooping could come into play. But how many of us women have male friends that we call and then text at midnight if we weren't getting busy. So it's pointless to snoop because she's already got the proof. He's pretty much done. Tell you what, have a man call you at midnight and then text and see how he handles it?

The question you should be asking yourself is can this relationship be salvaged. For one thing, can you trust him again? With him responding in anger/denial and accussing you of snooping (classic flipping the script). I would say that before you can even consider moving forward he has respect you enough to admit cheating and apologize (and actually be sorry about it). If he can't even be honest with you about cheating on you when he has obviously been caught, it's a sign of blatant disrespect. It's also an insult to your intelligence. Is this something you want to salvage?

Talk to him, give him a chance to come clean. If he doesn't then you'll have to decide if you can be in a relationship with a man you may not be able to trust.

I don't really believe in snooping unless you are prepared to leave the relationship if you find something. My friend wanted to start snooping on her husband for no reason at all except to just try to find something on him. She has two children with this man. I asked her, "What is the point in looking for something, just in case he is doing something? If he is doing something you will find out without the snooping. Why go looking for something after being together for 13 years? Are you prepared to leave him if you find something?" If I was in her situation I would not go snooping.

That's a good point, although I always let my partner know about platonic flirty friends that I have so that the text notifications aren't an issue.

"But how many of us women have male friends that we call and then text at midnight if we weren't getting busy"


*Raises hand* "

Really. That's interesting, I've had mostly male friends my entire life (get along much better with men 🙂 ), however, if one of my friends had a SO, I would NEVER disrespect them by calling at all times of the night (unless it was an emergency). I acknowledge that you may not feel the same way but I treat people the way I would want to be treated.

However, in this case if you called your friend and sent him a text in the middle of the night, don't you think his SO deserves an explanation? If she was just a friend, don't you think he would've just said that?

Taurusgoddess: What do you mean by "maybe I'll get Stacey's number and send evil threats"?

I don't get this philosophy. How do you figure it's her fault? If they in fact are having an affair then he is to blame! She is not the one unfaithful to you. He is.

if you're snooping on someone, the relationship is doomed.

where's the trust?

i trusted someone implicitly. it never crossed my mind that they even looked elsewhere which was obviously arrogance on my part cos when i innocently checked his phone when i thought a text message had been received from his mother that may have been relevant to me and instead found a text from another woman - my whole world fell apart. of course, he then made it worse by lying about it. then i viewed his previous behaviour in context of what i had seen and started to question every single thing about our relationship.

there is no way back from that. even i was sensible enough to realise that snooping would only make matters worse for myself. i was already hurt and i already felt betrayed and any further information i got wasn't going to change that.

along the same lines, i don't understand why people employ honeytrap detectives. again, if you have reached that level of not knowing what the person you're with is up to, there's no future.

having said that, it's not good to just assume they're faithfull. there are signs beyond things on their cellphone that should alert you if they are having an affair.

i grew up with mostly men. i have thousands of brothers. (ok, slight exaggeration). in my opinion doing anything that you're not prepared to do in front of your partner is suspicious - i would find it suspicious and i would expect it to be viewed as suspicious too. having said that, it doesn't mean that person is doing something wrong - i don't like people looking over my shoulder if i'm writing a personal email for example but it is not to say that i'm writing a whole load of filth to another man.

fuckina: back atchya. 😛

If you look for something..be prepared to find something. I have friends who've done this, and they find out LOADS of ish and don't do a damn thing once they know. They'll get into huge arguments with the guys. Stuff gets twisted and they STILL stay with the guys. One of my friends was seeing this married guy that we all went to HS with. They were each others first loves, blah, blah. Anyway, his wife hired a PI and found out all this stuff. The wife blew up at the guy, he stopped seeing my friend for a month, and then contacted her again. My friend continued for about a couple months, but knew she was wrong, so SHE ended it with him. The wife still stayed. My friend recently found out he's seeing some other chick, and yes, he's still married. My point: knowledge is useless if you don't do anything with it. The person who snoops and stays is only hurting themselves in the long run because they will be eaten up by jealousy, insecurity, etc. That's not a way I want to live. I tell a guy, I'm not looking for ish, but if somethings not right and I find out I'm done. I've been cheated on before, and I loved that person so I let them back into my world only for them to do it again. If I'm in a casual relationship, I'm like FuckinA, I really don't care, but if it's something serious then we both have to be honest and true to one another or I'm out like a flash.

I disagree; knowledge can be like currency, it can be saved until it is needed, it may never be used but the comfort of having it cannot be underestimated.

Also, in this case the type of information gathered can actually be beneficial if you can disregard it and learn how to forgive or be open-minded to whatever the information might be. I'm not saying that you find out your spouse is cheating and you just ignore it, but there are many skeletons that could be uncovered which may be upsetting at first but maybe not so much upon reflection.

enfant_terrible 9/24/2008 1:00:52 AM | ip: xxx.xxx.xxx.xxx

Taurusgoddess: What do you mean by "maybe I'll get Stacey's number and send evil threats"?

I don't get this philosophy. How do you figure it's her fault? If they in fact are having an affair then he is to blame! She is not the one unfaithful to you. He is.

------------------------------------


Thank you ... a voice of wisdom right there ^^^^^^

Ignorance may be bliss, but learning to forgive can be enlightening.

ignorance is ignorance plain and simple. you choose to ignore and you will eventually have a rude awakening. forgiveness is for suckers if you ask me.

suckers and jesus. and look where he ended up!

^^^^

Who cares if she checked his phone. A woman has to make sure sometimes.

TG,

If I were you I would call this Stacey and ask her straight up why she is calling your man so late. Ask her calmly if there is somehting going on between them.

From now on you should start watching him more closely. If you find out something's going on then dump him.

More like....if they have respect for her.......

Calling a hoe who is calling your man does not mean you don't respect yourself. That's the dumbest shit I've ever heard. She has all the right to.


TG, keep investigating. You never know what else you'll find.

Oh c'mon now, the girl calling is not automatically a ho, does she even know the situation? The guy is the one that knows both sides, he is the one that should be the focus of any resentment or retribution.

I'm perplexed, so what some are implying is that the girl who called is to BLAME and NOT the guy who obviously hasn't a. expressed he's in a relationship; b. has expressed he's in a relationship, but he and/or girl don't care; c. the girl is just a friend; d. the girl is someone he's CHOSING to cheat/be with (again, this hasn't been established, just suspected). So, the girl, who whether knowingly or unknowingly called this guy in the middle of the night, and is or is not sleeping with this guy is automatically a hoe?? Hmm.
I don't want someone looking through my stuff, and I'm not going to look through someones stuff, one of my female cousins, a Scorpio COMPLETELY disagrees with me - lol. Different strokes for different folks. Relationships are about trust, and respect (among other things); if you don't have those two main ingredients, the relationship is likely to fail. That's just my opinion based on personal experiences in the past.

Careful .. you tread on very dangerous waters if you attempt to get some kind of a revenge on a Scorpio.

If you mean to contact this girl, or send some kind of message out there to his mother, or the world via his facebook, or whatever begrudging ideas that are running through your head ... then I implore you to have some fore-thought to protect yourself from further emotional injury ...

... fuck with a Scorpio in this fashion (vengence) = your destruction

What is it with everyone being on this guy's side saying he needs respect? He might be cheating girls. Stop standing up for him.

Now he's either cheating or is close to doing it. And that little slut going after him isn't gonna help the situation at all.

Hey guys. Wow, the opinions are all so good and interesting. I enjoyed reading them. Well my man had to work out of town for a week, so that was really good. Needed space to think and he really did too. I really explained myself about just flirting with girls does not help him as it makes things look really bad. Our common friends tell me how much he loves me - which I know, and I gotta look at the big picture. He's got female friends, and I have male friends. I TOLD him, that he MUST make sure these girls don't get the wrong impression. It does happen. There are some aggressive women in this day and age. Sooooo, we'll see if he gets it and prove to me not to worry. Eyes wide open. I don't believe he is the cheating type - but I do also know that if you are in a situation things can happen. SO AVOID IT! Learn your lesson hunny!

🙂 thanks for all the thots!

Sorry to say, I know a couple of scorp men who have and will cheat. Like anyone else I think they don't when they are truly satisfied at home, which is no excuse. They have staying power but have cheated a time or two (my godfather whom I adore is one of them 😢)

I am shocked he isn't more possessive about your male friends. They can have serious double standards you know.

i love how this is posted in the scorpio section, lol jks