Branh the Topic Nazi

Could you please explain why you feel that, objectively, no one deserves to be loved? I'm not quite sure what you mean by that statement.

Yes it does. Thanks. 🙂

Much like the 'pursuit' of happiness is guaranteed by the Constitution, not happiness just the pursuit of it.

What was that experiment done on monkeys? The one where some of the newborns were kept in a cage without a mother nursing them -vs- the ones that were suckled by their mothers? Didnt they go ape shit ( for lack of a better term?) or something?

Every living thing deserves to be loved, whether it means 'tough love' as in depriving them of it until they realise its significance, or unadaltered love, the kind that comes without reward or reciprocity?

Mhm, what tollbooth said. I disagree with the statement that love is simply a want. I think it is a basic need.

"Who needs a law stating that you can be loved??"

No one. Laws of man, cannot govern something as broad or abstract as love. Nor can they decide who is or is not deserving of it.

AquaGirl accuses someone of being rational ! Gasps ✨

parallel universe alert !

Depriving someone of love because they "don't deserve it" is just as - if not more - cruel than depriving them of food and water.

Is it Branh's fault he was born Virgo - surely he's only displaying a characteristic of the sign - even though I agree with his thought - I think love is another ideology that if you removed will be like killing the human in humanity...

We can exchange thought, rationalise, emotionalise, killise, it is what it is - love is we believe is natural, all deserving and what not 😕

Sigh, it's not a law, it is a guarantee that you have the right to pursue happiness. This is a right that all humans are deemed to be born with.

Maybe in the US.

Sometimes I think what when we think we need love, we're needing things like food, companionship, respect, loyalty, admiration, ego-stroking...all interchangeable with love

Oh yeah, and living without love will just totally fuck you up mentally, which is definitely the better alternative.

Love is the food to our minds.

hey, tb 🙂

there are a number of similar experiments.

one (i'm not sure if this is the one you were referring to) involved monkeys placed in a cage with two "mothers". a mother made of wire and another made of some sort of cloth material, idr. the youngsters all clung to the "fury" mother because she was more identifiable to them.

another experiment was done with orphaned human babies. the experimental group were fed and otherwise tended to, except they weren't held and received minimal affection or skin-to-skin contact, so to speak. the result was that a significant number of those children grew up to experience irreversible psychopathology.

People who don't love often become angry and loners. Could be family/friendship love, right? Not only romantic love, right?

On the topic of puppies, that's a good example - NO OFFENCE TO PET LOVERS !

But you're perfectly going on you daily activities, one day, you get a pet, you care for it....then viola....you love it?!!!

On tha note, in my next life, I want to come back as a house pet --- do absolutely nothing, lick yourself, drink from toilet, get kissed, fed, loved for just being adorable? What a wonderful life...

Convincing yourself you will die without love will surely put you in an early grave !

"that's not entirely true. And even if it were, you're still alive. Love isn't essential for survival, no matter what you try to tell yourself."

I'm not trying to tell myself anything. What good is living without the will?

Branh is speaking of romanticized love. The kind you see in Hollywood. The type our generation strives to emulate.

He's not looking at it from a biological POV.

"And love is not natural."

Erm...if it's not natural why have so many of our species been loving each other for thousands of years. And leaving written accounts of it, and songs about it, and painting it, etc.?

A person who is physically alive as a hollow shell is actually half dead.

Love is natural. Branh claims that we're trying to tell ourselves something, but I'm sensing a case of projection.

It's the term 'love' that blows shit out of proportion - you utter the words or convince yourself you're feeling the it then --- oooh oooh oooh.

IMHO, I think it's cool/great to experience an out of the world connection with a human being, if you want to classify as anything you want, it's optional.

""Well it depends, see. I love animals. All animals! Even if they want to eat me, like a python or tiger. ""

^ THAT is going down in my book of fuckin' hilarious quotes.

Please adopt me OFA 😉

""...if it's not natural why have so many of our species been loving each other for thousands of years. And leaving written accounts of it, and songs about it, and painting it, etc.?""

THANK YOU!

This is exactly what prompted me to court you.

"Love is natural."

Absolutely, because, biologically, if it weren't, we would avoid it like the plague. It would feel weird or wrong, not fantastic. This really isn't that complicated...

Branh, as babies, we are also taught how to eat. A baby can't feed itself. It would die if left to its own devices. So, the fact that we, as humans, in general, "learn how to love" around the same time we learn to feed ourselves would suggest it's no less natural than eating by your logic.

Oh I definitely believe the biological love dependency aspect but the way we feel it and connect the dots is what makes us different.

To feel we 'deserve' it romantically from someone else as Branh's original topic questioned can be very unrealistic.

How do we learn to love wheels? just curious

Wrong, Branh. Any normal, functioning human being (excluding the sociopaths here) has the perfectly natural ability to feel affection for others. As do oh, let's say, all other sentient beings.

"How do we learn to love wheels? just curious"

Good question - I honestly have no idea. I suppose it's just...natural.

Surely the biological aspect you describe OFA is similar to when people feel other things like happiness - how do you convince yourself it is love?

Affection surely does not equal love, does it?

OK Branh, you may need to clarify what kind of love you meant here...

I agree with you OFA, seeking to be complete by merging self with someone else is recipe for disaster ! You have no idea who you are, how can someone else give you that or how are you able to offer 'love' or yourself to the other person...your half-azzed self?

Even if it's not a biological need, there is a lot of evidence to suggest that it is a psychological one.

Zen - What is the difference between affection and love?

A need is a need is a need, Branh.

But I agree, I don't necessarily think procreation is biological. I know plenty of people who genuinely don't want to have kids, while others are practically salivating at the thought. If it was biological, wouldn't we all want them? Or at least most people?

Just because you can biologically do something doesn't mean you should all desire to do it...I think that's where Branh may be coming from, where is the logic and critical reasoning when it comes to love --- we following blindly?

This is where the deductive reasoning and common sense starts to factor in, can I afford a baby? do I really want a kid or just fllowing society beliefs blindly? Is adopting a needy kid just as good? Is this the right time for a relationship? Have a convinced myself I love this person? Why do I love this person?

I got education but have never taken everything said in the classes as the word...always question, what ifs?

Zen - What is the difference between affection and love? Exactly! That's what I think but the word 'love' implies more, right?

Oh we're trying to convince? I don't think anyone can convince anyone to believe anything really...whatever works for you

"but the word 'love' implies more, right?"

That's what I'm asking you.

The book just confirmed what Branh's initial topic said - love seems more egotistical than anything else - I honestly can't say I've ever observed this in real life In a genuine relationship, there is an outward flow of open, alert attention toward the other person in which there is no wanting whatsoever. That alert attention is Presence. It is the prerequisite for any authentic relationship.

Except in friendships

I can deny that. I think what you really mean to say is that no one can deny how fucked up peoples' priorities are today.

And suffering the consequences, as well. Both individually and more broadly.

Ok wheels, let's say you've been dating someone for 2 yrs - fairly good relationship, and someone asks them, how do you feel, and they say, "I feel a lot of affection for wheels"...if you were there...how would that make you feel?

Or someone asks you, do you love your parents...can you honestly reply with "no I feel a lot of affection for them"?

love represents a range of emotions, is all. emotions are governed and emitted through the brain. the amygdala (?), for example, dictates the emotional response of fear. psychology and biology overlap. also, believe it or not, we are all very good at reading emotions and are masters at judging facial expressions. this phenomenon expands across cultures and global regions. in sum, the understanding and expressing of emotions, (in which, love can be included) is a built-in system.

btw, there are different types of love, and various components of love, depending on your school of thought. let's not overlook that. i still say branh is focusing on romanticized love, which is uncommon in RL.

"Love breeds ignorance and a clouded mind. You gain love, but you lose all common sense or rational thinking in the process."

Ok, Branh.

I can deny that. I think what you really mean to say is that no one can deny how fucked up peoples' priorities are today.

So love should be priority - is this romantic? or...?

To me, Zen, there would be no need to say no. The answer would be, "Yes, I feel a lot of affection for them."

I am talking about love/affection in general, not necessarily just romantic love.