scorpio + aries =

this one's a looong story, guys, but let me shorten it up by saying that i (a male scorpio) have been on-and-off involved with a female aries for a little over two years, now. she is very textbook aries (short-tempered, low patience, aggressive, impulsive). i, on the other hand, am a textbook scorpio, and recently our friendship ended because of my all-or-nothing extremism

basically, i told her we were either going to be loers or we were gonna be nothing, and she said i was being stupid but i still pressed on and told her that i wasn't happy being her friend, and she said she loved me but she's been hurt too much in the past and didn't want a relationship at the time. i ended up hanging up the phone and i stopped talking to her for about 3 months.

a week ago she texted me and said she wanted to see me, she missed me and so we met up last night and she asked me what i felt for her, and i said that what i said three months ago still stood, that i wanted to be with her or be nothing. and we argued for a long time and i didn't budge at all, so finally she said we could go through a week long "probationary" period to see if things would work out.

i guess what i'm asking is, it seems like sometimes neither of us understands the other AT ALL and yet we've been through so much together that it seems almost like we are meant to be together. we care very much for one another, and i summed up my feelings for her like this:

if we were at a party together as "friends" and another guy hit on you, i would kill him.

and my feelings are never going to change. so, what's the word on these scorpio/aries relationships and do you guys know wtf i'm alking about? =) thanks a lot.

I am the opposite of you. Me being a female scorp and seeing a male aries. One thing I feel very confident about. They love their freedom and an ultimatum will not work for them. You have to show them thru your actions that you are the right person for them. Aries love adventure and change. Scorps can get a little bit scared of too many changes, too fast. The jealousy issue is a bad deal too. I play it very cool about jealousy. I let him talk about his past relationships, but only bring up mine on a rare occasion. They are not all or nothing kind of people, unelss they decide that's what they want to be. Give her some space. She did call you, which should tell you something. Sex is usually very HOT between these two signs, but not enough to keep you together. She just has to know that her freedom is not at stake. Let me also say this, if you are at a party and some other guys "hits" on her, you should take that as a compliment, not a reason to kill him. Lighten up a little.

Been there, done that. From my own experience, I'd say move on, but not just that. I'd also say learn from it. In fact, I have said it. Just now... But you know what, there's another side of me that says you have to see this through to the end - that it's both necessary and inevitable, and that you really just came here to talk. So I'll just pass on some advice.

The jealousy thing is a problem. It won't solve anything that matters and it might make things worse in the overall picture. It's a clear sign that you don't trust her, and if she's not ready for a relationship then the distrust is mutual and outweighs the 'risk.' It's like asking a girl to dance (or do anything physical), she has to be willing and she has to trust you and know you feel the same to take your hand. Desire is never enough, you need trust and to believe in it. Is it a fault of both your signs' combination? Who knows...

Also I disagree that you're 'never going to change'. In fact I think you're going to be alright, but you'll probably live for awhile with that cynicism before you do. Today I got myself a virtuous Sag girl that I love and trust. She likes to party... party all the time... I think there's a song about that, but that's not important. What's important is that you seem to recognize what's wrong, but also that you have given up on having control over those factors. I'm here to tell you that it is possible to change, but then again that would only be a one-sided solution. You have to talk to the girl and find out why she only trusts you to the extent of risking a probationary period-long relationship -- does she really think it will hurt less than never knowing if it would have worked out?? Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

aries girls like men who are impulsive (like them). They don't like it when you hold back feellings, they want it out of your system with a quick impulse. They want their mates to have social energy (like a perpetual piece of candy still in the store window). Be outwarldy sexy, and act 100% confident about yourself..the mintue they see that your not confident they'll won't be confident about you either. They want honesty, no holding back words..Give her freedom and keep your mind on something else other than her: in other words?..yeah it's tough having relationships with Aries people *I've been in a relationship with an Aries for 8 years* Does that help. ?

oooh i like this thread...i am a aries woman involved with a scorp male now. Although the attraction is hot. We just cant seem to relate. As far as an aries...we are so loyal to the end but we need that confidence from the male. We will never do anything to hurt you. We love attention and love being wanted and treated well. But the minute you doubt that we turn cold....thats speaking for myself. But once a aries woman loves you...BOY you are one lucky cat

wow - thanks for the in-depth responses, guys. she didn't return my text last night (she's infamous for not returning phone calls) and so i'm kind of stuck in trying to give her space while simultaneously trying to show her i care about her.

i am pretty confident that this whole thing is a way to test my true feelings for her, because i know she's pretty messed up from past relationships. and i don't know what else i can do except snipe a few texts here and there, because our schedules are so conflicting.

also, it'd probably help to know that i'm 19 and she's 17.

how many past relationships can she have being only 17? I didnt even know about a relationship at that age.

well, in response to the "troubled" thing - yes, we both were (and still are, to some extent) troubled people. she still has issues with cocaine and i used to tweak(meth) and junk(heroine.) so really, it's not so much about "saving" as finding something worthwhile in a life style full of heartache. and when somebody comes along who can share your pain and understand what you've been through, it can be a very appealing motivator for a relationship.

aprilbaby, i've always been attracted to troubled girls but that's because they were always the ones with, like you said, the most stories to tell and the most experiences and substance. i do enjoy a challenge but i won't forsake a girl for the mere fact that she poses a challenge to my sensibilities, if that makes sense.

dward, we both had relationships young - we also started drugs fairly young, at around 14. there's a lot to our romantic situation i've left out because a lot happens in 2 years, but i tried to be brief for everybody's sanity on this board. =].

the thing is, rockchick, that when you grow up in the drug culture it's difficult to meet people who aren't "troubled." being messed up is almost like a claim to friendship - i've had some amazing friends and amazing lovers who understood this and we had as good as a relationship as we could have under the circumstances.

i guess you kind of get jaded, living the same life so long with the same people. it's easy to say "start fresh", although the truth is that i would never want to start fresh with anybody, because in my opinion all life experience is beautiful, not just the good or the bad.

april,

i know that only time can judge our compatibility for one another, and since we're both approaching places in our lives where we'll be moving to different cities, it's hard to accept time as the answer.

it's just that i love her so much. she says she loves me, too, and so i almost feel like we're dead weight at this point, carrying each other around because our childhoods were so
fucked up, it's like we're both the only childhood we have left.

i don't know. i guess i'm going to have to just make things easier by just being friends, if that's what she wants. in all honesty i'd rather be with her if only as a friend than not at all, and it will hurt me to see her hurt herself but what can i do except be there for her when she needs me.

begh. thanks everyone, i really appreciate your responses.

good luck sw

thanks, dward.