It is a great thing that we can discuss here whatever pops into our minds and I
If you can help me create a new topic - I would certainly appreciate it and be totally indebted to you!!! - Topic was going to be: Aires & Scorp Reunited?
This is my first posting even tho I visit this site quite often in attempts to understand the unique sign of Scorpio. Altho I have Aires Sun, I have my Moon and Neptune in Scorpio, with the balance of planets predominantly in earth signs. I can relate to so many aspects of the Scorpio traits I have witnessed at this site as well as many other Astrology sites.
I'm at this point in time trying to solicit advice and opinions from any male Scorps, and females, that can add any insight into this relationship dilemma. To get to the reason for my post, I need to give you some history first (so PLEASE bare with me):
Over 2 years ago, I dated a male Scorp for 8 months. Our coming together was something "out of this world". We connected immediately, understood each other on many levels, and had similar goals and desires. Considering we are both divorced, and had both dealt with many ups/downs in previous relationship, ending in a bad divorce (for me it was 2 years since my divorce - for him 4 years). So we took our time getting closer, building a bond built on trust and honesty. This man was everything to me, and I felt that after all we had BOTH been through, God finally brought two people deserving of committed love together. It took us four months before we "consummated" our relationship, and the coming together was something that only lived in my dreams. So, without getting too longwinded, a couple of months after our "coming together", he began to withdraw from me, at first making excuses of being busy, responsibilities building with his kids, etc. Less than 3 months after our one special night - he totally walked out of my life indicating he wasn't as ready for commitment as he first had thought, or the time to dedicate to this relationship with other responsibilities lingering in the background. He also indicated that if he and I 'were meant to be', we would come full circle. I was absolutely devastated to say the least, totally heartbroken over losing a friend, lover, soul mate. It took me a LONG time to get over this man, who did not ONCE ever call or contact me after that last conversation. I gave up on the hope that one day we would re-unite and tried to move on with my life although no man who came after him, that showed a remote interest in me, ever measured up to the bond he and I shared!
To add a twist to this fairytale romance, after 2 years of NO contact, NO seeing each other at all, he appeared at my doorstep 2 weeks ago. I was shocked! I thought I would NEVER see this man again. To make a long story short, he did not close the door as easily as I thought he had, had given me and our relationship a lot of thought over the course of these past 2 years, settled a lot of "personal" issues with his kids/family and ultimately, asked whether we could give our relationship another chance. Can you believe this? As angry as I was about how he walked out of my life, I also knew what this man meant to me, so I committed to keeping the lines of communication between us open, and that I would NOT close the door to the possibility of a 2nd chance. We spent a week getting re-aquainted, and how easily we picked up where we left off relative to thoughts, desires, goals, etc. He even invited me to be his date for Valentines at a function he had organized, and that his family would also be in attendance at. I was "over the moon", and accepted his invitation graciously. To make that story shorter, I went to the Valentines' Dance, yet his behavior that night has left me totally baffled. He asked me if I was ok to make my way to the dance alone and he would meet
I can understand your frustration with trying to understand where this man's true motives lie in conection to you and a long term relationship. However, please dont take this as being rude but why in this day in age is there so much pressure to tie down a man or woman into commitments without really knowing if your truely compatable first? What happened to courting, calling without pressure or assumptions and being friends first? Why the big hurry for him to make a decision that he needs to behave in a certain manner so that you dont get insecure. Afterall, he just came back into your life and it sounds like your pressuring him staight out of the gate. Maybe that sort of clingyness is what pushed him away in the first place. If I was a man, but I'm not, I would'nt like to have my every move scrutinized to see if I was a perfect mate or have to immediately give up my social life in order date someone? After hearing that you were both divorced, I would think that you would be a stronger person and hold onto what your inner needs are until you found someone who you could trust and grow with rather than hope and pray he'll treat you in a certain way. Take your time and find the right guy. This guy doesnt seem to be in any big hurry so rushing him will only push him further away. There's someone out there for you, it doesnt have to be him. Live life in the moment, love yourself and be the best person you can be and someone will fall in love with you for who you are inside. Find a companion and most of all a great friend in your next lifemate. You wont ever go wrong if you go with someone who cares for you as a friend and respects your feelings. That type of relationship developes naturally. If your unsure of this mans intentions then chances are if if sounds too good to be true then it probably is. Good luck Dear and keep fishing!
I had a miscommuncation with my scorp guy (I am a cancer), and boom! Haven't spoke to him in almost a week. Weird, but true. I feel really bad, causae it's soo stupid! I think there are more issues there, than meets the scorp eye! Hmmm.......
Hi, this is Natasha, and thanks again to bella ragazza for her assistance with my post.
Aprilbaby - thank you for your words of encouragement and support during a very confusing time. I will tell him what I am feeling, and have been feeling, given the opportunity. But will he give me that opportunity, remains to be seen. I have him 110% of me and my heart the 1st time around, and would be willing to do so again, if he only allowed us the REAL chance we should have had at that time.
txchic - thank you also for your post and opinion. But I disagree with alot of what you have said. I haven't rushed him into anything. I am the one that only committed to keeping the lines of communication open and NOT closing the door to the possibility of a 2nd chance. Having history with this man, we already know we are compatible, have similar goals and desires, mutual affection, and what I thought - MUTUAL RESPECT! Why do you think he came back? He knows what we share! He walked out of MY life 2 years ago in attempts to get his life in order. He was the one, 1st time around, and this time around, wanting to proceed into a relationship and pursued me ardently both times. I am the one that said we need time to get re-aquainted, time to build trust. But how is he doing that? Nothing in this universe is guaranteed, so the end result of this connection is also NOT guaranteed. But this is a man who appears on the surface to know EXACTLY what he wants and goes after it, only to draw back the reins when convenient to HIM. I have given him the space and understanding he requires because we are BOTH so similar. I am in no way shape or form in any hurry to get anywhere. But how does one build trust, and build a loving relationship without open lines of communication? How does one build trust when the other person runs away every time there is a conflict? Interesting that you never once mentioned his TOTAL lack of respect in not introducing me to anyone at the Valentine's function. Am I being a paranoid chik? Hardly - I'm sure most women would have felt that same "slap in the face" that I felt. And being the CLASS act that I am, didn't draw attention to it that night, instead thought we'd deal with it as adults and discuss matters at another time. But when? When its convenient to him? He is the one who has re-entered MY life looking for a 2nd chance. So, if I have certain misgivings, or have concerns, they are VALID according to our history and his performance on Valentines.
I don't want to make this about attacking anybody - or a matter of who's right and who's wrong. I'm merely trying to understand why Scorpio's continue to seek what they want (and they do know what they want and need to be happy), yet when faced with it, or are on the brinks of achieving it, run for cover. Your sign demands respect, honesty and loyalty but continue to deny the other person those same privileges. Any relationship requires mutual respect and honesty. I, like Scorpio, am human, I hurt, I have fears and insecurities, but perhaps your point on ME being a stronger person should be directed at him. For if he was as strong as he "portrays" himself to be, he wouldn't continually deny what he so seeks!
Thanks again for your post - and I continue to welcome further comments.
It is a great thing that we can discuss here whatever pops into our minds and I
My solution-take your heart in your teeth and go talk to him - like you 'd talk about someone else-if you wish.Be prepared that things don't go as you would expect-but at least you 'll know how you stand and spare yourself of extra misery! Scorpio man love to see the tears of the women he loves.Also they cannnot help hurting the ones they love. But you are entitled to knowing about his motivations that lead him to this peculiar behaviour.He is not the only man in your life and he has no right to play infant games with you.You are better than that.
Wish you all the luck and strengh in the world!Let me know about the conclusion!
Hi, Natasha here....just wanted to say thanks to all those who responded to my post. Your replies are very much appreciated!
To update you....I have NOT heard from Mr. Scorpio and I have no intentions to call him. I agree with Aprilbaby.....IF this is something he wants, he's gonna come to me and be prepared to give alot more of himself. But I suspect he will just do one of his disappearing acts, because its easier to run and hide, than to confront and deal with stuff. I had hoped that wanting to be true to himself, and his sign of Scorpio, that over the last 2 years he would have come to terms with alot more, than just dealing with "personal" issues. I had hoped that, for his sake, he came to terms with his inner-self, and also come to terms with his past. But that's obviously not the case and I don't have time to play petty childish games with a 45 yr old man. Based on his actions (or lack thereof) I already have the answer I seek, and that is - he is NOT worthy of a 2nd chance! He is a lonely, desperate, cowardly man who prefers to live in the past and manipulate people to get what HE wants. Its actually pretty sad, because he is a man that I truly loved and gave 100% of me to, but did not receive the same in kind. What's the saying.....better to have loved & lost, then never to have loved at all. I am in a much better place than I was 2 years ago, and do know what I want, and do not want, out of a relationship - and this just isn't it!
I try and sum up this experience with him this way - the door that was reopened between us, was to either bring further closure to what once was, or to move forward in a more committed, loving way. I guess we all know which of the two it is by now right?
"Your sign demands respect, honesty and loyalty but continue to deny the other person those same privileges."
I take issue with that, although I am sympathetic to your situation with Mr. Asswipe (and that is exactly what he sounds like to me) and have replied on the other topic you had going about this situation. Anyway, we do demand respect, honesty and loyalty, but I don't know very many scorpios who deny others who give them these things, reciprocation. I am always honest and respectful and loyal to the people I feel deserve it. Maybe this man does not feel you deserve it; perhaps he is imagining some injury you've done to him. Which, if you haven't done anything to him and you've treated him with respect, honesty and loyalty, and he treats you like dirt, then that makes him even more of a jerk.