AriesRottie
@AriesRottie
8 Years
Comments: 0 · Posts: 28 · Topics: 1
Scorpio Male with Combat PTSD
You seem like you're really into him my friend so I guess you better give it a shot and fuck astrology. You'll never know until you try
My ex has PTSD. He doesn't think he is an ex but he has isolated himself for quite awhile now and it's not the first time. I can tell you that it's quite painful to be in a relationship with someone that will drop you from their life like you are nothing and then walk back in without thinking that they did anything wrong.
Think long and hard before you get in too deep. The good times may be great but the bad times will be devastating.
Think long and hard before you get in too deep. The good times may be great but the bad times will be devastating.
Posted by Deedee86Exactly, I have been thinking long and hard about this guy. I have done a lot of research and reading on PTSD since I've met him. I have a feeling that the PTSD will drive his behavior far more than just being a mysterious scorpio.
My ex has PTSD. He doesn't think he is an ex but he has isolated himself for quite awhile now and it's not the first time. I can tell you that it's quite painful to be in a relationship with someone that will drop you from their life like you are nothing and then walk back in without thinking that they did anything wrong.
Think long and hard before you get in too deep. The good times may be great but the bad times will be devastating.
Posted by Deedee86
My ex has PTSD. He doesn't think he is an ex but he has isolated himself for quite awhile now and it's not the first time. I can tell you that it's quite painful to be in a relationship with someone that will drop you from their life like you are nothing and then walk back in without thinking that they did anything wrong.
Think long and hard before you get in too deep. The good times may be great but the bad times will be devastating.
Exactly.
The Scorp I was seeing didn't have PTSD as an excuse for his behavior. But he would constantly pull the same stunt.
For 6 months...
I'm still the one left wondering what the hell did I do wrong...
Done.
I think if you liken this guy to a Rottweiler it should give you a sense of how to approach and deal with him. Same rules apply, don't move too fast with something shiny, don't run when he growls and let him patrol to his heart's content. He'll try to put you where he wants you in his life, claim your space in him if you really want him.
Posted by EpiLOL! I have two male Rottweilers...and one of them is actually a Scorpio dog. And he is ALL Scorpio too which is kind of funny. He's sharp, serious, suspicious, and needs to know all about new people by smelling and smelling and smelling them. I'll just treat this former Marine like my Scorpio dog then. LOL He owns Goldens and one of them is his emotional support dog.
I think if you liken this guy to a Rottweiler it should give you a sense of how to approach and deal with him. Same rules apply, don't move too fast with something shiny, don't run when he growls and let him patrol to his heart's content. He'll try to put you where he wants you in his life, claim your space in him if you really want him.
But all kidding aside...thank you all for your input. You've given me good stuff to consider.
Yeah it's not worth it. Good luck
Here's my latest update with my combat vet friend. After thinking about this thread and the comments you guys all made, I decided to send a few texts to see what would happen. I asked how was his trip...nothing. Later last night I asked if everything was okay with him and that if he needed space or breathing room to just let me know. I said I would be perfectly fine with giving that to him if he needed that. I closed the texting with he knows where he can find me when he's ready to talk again.
As of this morning, no response. So, I'm going to just leave things alone as they are as I really believe his silence is my answer. I am actually glad this is happening now before I did get too deep into this friendship/relationship. The 2 week silence earlier this month prepared me for this one. I'm going to detach and just go live my life. If he comes back...I'll be cautiously open to him be very aware this is a thing with him (and PTSD in general.) If he doesn't, that's fine too and I move on.
Thanks to all of you for listening and affirming my gut feelings about this. Greatly appreciate it! 🙂
As of this morning, no response. So, I'm going to just leave things alone as they are as I really believe his silence is my answer. I am actually glad this is happening now before I did get too deep into this friendship/relationship. The 2 week silence earlier this month prepared me for this one. I'm going to detach and just go live my life. If he comes back...I'll be cautiously open to him be very aware this is a thing with him (and PTSD in general.) If he doesn't, that's fine too and I move on.
Thanks to all of you for listening and affirming my gut feelings about this. Greatly appreciate it! 🙂
Posted by SeraphlightPosted by AriesRottieI have PTSD too. I would say give yourself to work on behalf of your own happiness. This is what I do. I am a sufferer. So I think you have to be kind to yourself. Don't let him drain you. 🙂Posted by Deedee86Exactly, I have been thinking long and hard about this guy. I have done a lot of research and reading on PTSD since I've met him. I have a feeling that the PTSD will drive his behavior far more than just being a mysterious scorpio.
My ex has PTSD. He doesn't think he is an ex but he has isolated himself for quite awhile now and it's not the first time. I can tell you that it's quite painful to be in a relationship with someone that will drop you from their life like you are nothing and then walk back in without thinking that they did anything wrong.
Think long and hard before you get in too deep. The good times may be great but the bad times will be devastating.
click to expand
Thanks for your thoughts. 🙂 I'm not going to let him drain me...this is something that belongs to him and not me. 10 years ago, I probably would have taken this personally. Now that I'm in my "Fuck It" 40's....I know what is mine to own and what stuff belongs to others.
Posted by DreamyboyThanks for your sharing your experiences with your brother with me. I completely and 100% understand that I cannot "fix" my friend or love him enough to make him better. I have done a ton of mental health work myself for codependency these past couple of years and I know that there is nothing I can do for or to my friend to change him. That's like trying to think you can love an alcoholic enough to stop drinking...and that is completely untrue. Fixing him is not my intention at all. PSTD will always be a part of who he is because it re-wires the brain and how it functions. I have no alternative that to accept him and all of him if this is something I choose to get into.
My brother is a 9/11 veteran. He came back home in a much lower sense of stability after the war. He's been through alot, as much as I don't want to say, he did many things that still hurt him today. He's been involved with torturing men, killing women, and killing children that were armed in some way. When he shipped off to the war, he was your normal young adult, but when he came home, I didn't recognize him. Things were rough, the freak outs he'd have when I'd drive him places on the highway, the night time terror panics, him putting a gun to my face several times in the night, etc, etc. It went on for a while, it took damn near 6 years for him to finally morph into a civvy. The after effects are still around. He's very sedentary, doesn't do much, smokes a ton of marijuana, can't stand the government, and is heavily into lucid dreaming. The war has changed him more negatively than positively. If there's one thing I can tell you, is if you are really considering a post war, ptsd vet, they are a truly independent mind that you cannot control. You can't morph that kind of mind into what you feel they should be. They won't conform to society and it's norms. I'm not saying they will be forever weird, but they will be forever different because of what they have seen and done. You can help all you want, but they live life on their own accord. If you can truly accept your friend for who he is and was, and not enforce a change, you just might be able to enter his safe zone. I feel only then will he become a positive and progressive improvement. Through patience.
My friend has been out of the service 6 years as well. He was in the second battle of Fallujah and from what I have read about that, I'm certain he has been through hell on earth. There is nothing I can bring to him that will make all of that disappear for him. Unlike your brother, this combat vet is a super achiever...on top of the corporate job, he has a second job on the weekend and then is getting his bachelors online. He works like 70 - 80 hours every week and then studies his butt off. I think this is actually a coping thing for him...stay so insanely busy, he can't focus on the underlying current of PTSD. I'm an over-achiever myself and I think that's some of what attracts me to him. He is part of my achiever tribe. LOL
Right?? He's more successful career-wise than most people I know without PTSD. That's probably because he is a scorpio. LOL That he has been able to so productive had me thinking that he might be more on the healthier side of PTSD than not. I am fully aware he's not the norm when it comes to combat PTSD sufferers. I know the good majority of them struggle to function in their daily lives and have a hard time trying to stay employed.
His being so successful in work was one of the bigger things that has kept me thinking about developing a relationship with him. If he's functional there, could he be functional in other things like a relationship with another person? He has never been married and he rarely dates...those probably should be my bigger clues that he does struggle with closeness, being vulnerable and open with another person.
His being so successful in work was one of the bigger things that has kept me thinking about developing a relationship with him. If he's functional there, could he be functional in other things like a relationship with another person? He has never been married and he rarely dates...those probably should be my bigger clues that he does struggle with closeness, being vulnerable and open with another person.
Yup...he's isolating big time. He just deactivated his facebook account. I'm not blocked because I can't find his profile when I'm logged out. He's definitely looking for some space to breathe.
I actually don't know that. We haven't talked much about his service other than he's a marine, was in the second battle of Fallujah, and he got out of the service in 2010. I didn't want to push him to share if he didn't want to.
Posted by AriesRottie
Yup...he's isolating big time. He just deactivated his facebook account. I'm not blocked because I can't find his profile when I'm logged out. He's definitely looking for some space to breathe.
He needs to get well before he can enter into relationships with people....is he getting help?
Posted by aquanibWhat's harsh? Fallujah? Or that we never talked about his service much?Posted by AriesRottieThat's harsh.
I actually don't know that. We haven't talked much about his service other than he's a marine, was in the second battle of Fallujah, and he got out of the service in 2010. I didn't want to push him to share if he didn't want to.click to expand
Posted by MyStarsShineHe has gone through several years of therapy but I'm not sure about right now. He is on meds. You're right...he can't have a relationship if he's not well himself. And...he may never be well enough to have successful relationships with women.Posted by AriesRottie
Yup...he's isolating big time. He just deactivated his facebook account. I'm not blocked because I can't find his profile when I'm logged out. He's definitely looking for some space to breathe.
He needs to get well before he can enter into relationships with people....is he getting help?
click to expand
Posted by aquanibI thought that's what you meant. He has said a couple of times that he's been through a lot of stuff and seen a lot of stuff. But also said, he has no regrets. I probably can't even begin to imagine what he has seen and been through.Posted by AriesRottieYa, Fallujah.Posted by aquanibWhat's harsh? Fallujah? Or that we never talked about his service much?Posted by AriesRottieThat's harsh.
I actually don't know that. We haven't talked much about his service other than he's a marine, was in the second battle of Fallujah, and he got out of the service in 2010. I didn't want to push him to share if he didn't want to.
click to expand
Are you former military yourself?
Posted by DatariesgirlThanks. That's my plan....unconditional and non judgemental friendship. 🙂Posted by AriesRottieBe his friend unconditionally. He needs that even if he withdrawals from you for a while. I hope he being treated for PTSD and I pray he has the strength to fight this illness.Posted by Deedee86Exactly, I have been thinking long and hard about this guy. I have done a lot of research and reading on PTSD since I've met him. I have a feeling that the PTSD will drive his behavior far more than just being a mysterious scorpio.
My ex has PTSD. He doesn't think he is an ex but he has isolated himself for quite awhile now and it's not the first time. I can tell you that it's quite painful to be in a relationship with someone that will drop you from their life like you are nothing and then walk back in without thinking that they did anything wrong.
Think long and hard before you get in too deep. The good times may be great but the bad times will be devastating.
click to expand
I wanted to give you all an update to this. My friend did get back in touch with me yesterday. He was traveling and very busy on his business trip he had. He got back in town Monday night. So, everything seems to be okay.
That being said, I will heed the advice given about getting involved with a PTSD vet/scorpio and tread cautiously about whether or not this is something I really want to get into.
Thanks everyone for your input. 🙂
That being said, I will heed the advice given about getting involved with a PTSD vet/scorpio and tread cautiously about whether or not this is something I really want to get into.
Thanks everyone for your input. 🙂
Posted by AriesRottieSo I don't have direct experience of this, but indirect. I watched my mom, for about 6 years, before meeting my now step-dad, struggling in a relationship like yours.
I wanted to give you all an update to this. My friend did get back in touch with me yesterday. He was traveling and very busy on his business trip he had. He got back in town Monday night. So, everything seems to be okay.
That being said, I will heed the advice given about getting involved with a PTSD vet/scorpio and tread cautiously about whether or not this is something I really want to get into.
Thanks everyone for your input. 🙂
Things would be good, they would spend a weekend together, and then wham, he'd disappear for days or weeks. They'd go have a "family" outing with him and his kids, and my mom, and bam, another month goes by.
She seesawed with him for so long, until she finally had enough the last time he did his disappearance and gave my step-dad a shot at a date.
If you have the patience for it, I guess go for it. But I can tell you, watching my mom go through it was really hard on me.
Posted by nikkistarPersonal experience with same... only 6 months but still... EXHAUSTING!Posted by AriesRottieSo I don't have direct experience of this, but indirect. I watched my mom, for about 6 years, before meeting my now step-dad, struggling in a relationship like yours.
I wanted to give you all an update to this. My friend did get back in touch with me yesterday. He was traveling and very busy on his business trip he had. He got back in town Monday night. So, everything seems to be okay.
That being said, I will heed the advice given about getting involved with a PTSD vet/scorpio and tread cautiously about whether or not this is something I really want to get into.
Thanks everyone for your input. 🙂
Things would be good, they would spend a weekend together, and then wham, he'd disappear for days or weeks. They'd go have a "family" outing with him and his kids, and my mom, and bam, another month goes by.
She seesawed with him for so long, until she finally had enough the last time he did his disappearance and gave my step-dad a shot at a date.
If you have the patience for it, I guess go for it. But I can tell you, watching my mom go through it was really hard on me.click to expand
Thanks both of you...what I'm going to do is take this day by day and with eyes wide open of what the end game could be. I think if I don't place expectations on what this **should** be...that will definitely help. If it does get to be more than what I want to handle, I'll move on.
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