mysterieux
@mysterieux
14 Years
Comments: 0 · Posts: 7 · Topics: 1
Scorpio man making me miserable
Sounds like the typical Scorpio testing, push pull. Heres a link....I seem to be posting it daily...maybe it will help you understand him...and yourself.
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20090612094805AAcnl9q
I suggest you stand the hell up to him. Show him your self respect and value and teach him to value your value!
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20090612094805AAcnl9q
I suggest you stand the hell up to him. Show him your self respect and value and teach him to value your value!
Posted by BigGirlPanties
Sounds like the typical Scorpio testing, push pull. Heres a link....I seem to be posting it daily...maybe it will help you understand him...and yourself.
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20090612094805AAcnl9q
I suggest you stand the hell up to him. Show him your self respect and value and teach him to value your value!
I wrote him a no-bullshit letter, which I will probably give to him. I'm trying to avoid as much drama as possible and I feel that if we sit down to talk about this, it will get unnecessarily heated quickly.
Posted by mysterieuxPosted by BigGirlPanties
Sounds like the typical Scorpio testing, push pull. Heres a link....I seem to be posting it daily...maybe it will help you understand him...and yourself.
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20090612094805AAcnl9q
I suggest you stand the hell up to him. Show him your self respect and value and teach him to value your value!
I wrote him a no-bullshit letter, which I will probably give to him. I'm trying to avoid as much drama as possible and I feel that if we sit down to talk about this, it will get unnecessarily heated quickly.click to expand
Astrology aside for a moment, I'd be giving him the letter while sitting his ass down. These things that he is doing are suspicious to say the least, and very much disrespectful. I don't even know how he thinks an apology justifies it— It doesn't IMHO, it's being said to pacify you and because well he's getting away with it when he does apologize. I have a bad feeling on this one. Hope I'm wrong, but stand your ground and keep your backbone straight when you do it.
We can only be doormat when we allow people to walk on us. By your accepting this *bad boy* behavior the first time, it sent a silent message to him that its permissible. Time to send a LOUDER message. And remeber....he wont believe any ultimatums by what you SAY...only by what you DO. So, make sure your actions match your words. Good luck and keep us updated.
I told him I wasn't happy with him at the moment and that I felt drained. To take his space and that I was going to take mine. I'm not expecting to hear from him in a few days and I'm terrified to hear bad news from him.
We've had fights during this year, but we always manage to fix them and actually thrive because of them. In fact, this rough patch caught me COMPLETELY off-guard, because we were wonderful when it occurred. Two weeks ago, he was having a negative episode, which I am completely used to, but this one is obviously different from the others. This existential meltdown of his has lasted longer than any one he's has before and it's been VERY destructive. i've tried being as comprehensive as I can (haven't always succeeded, but I've learned to make the most out of my short fuse), but this is ridiculous.
It not only makes me feel sad and rejected, but mad at myself, because I've found myself making all of these changes while I've been with him. They're good changes, and they're for me (like expressing my emotions verbally, instead of bottling them up, how to let go of anger, to stop being vindictive, etc.), but he has somehow fallen behind? He's letting little things bother him. And while I completely understand this mindset, because I have always been one to drown in problems, his letting himself be so emotional about everything is making us drift apart.
We had gotten to the point in which we developed a hive mind and resolved everything together, effectively and adequately. He knew when I was down, what had made that why and what he had to do without being there or without me having said anything and the same went viceversa. But these last 2 weeks, he has completely shut me off, destroyed our hive and is withdrawing more and more, while still sending me his frequent "iloveyou" texts.
We've had fights during this year, but we always manage to fix them and actually thrive because of them. In fact, this rough patch caught me COMPLETELY off-guard, because we were wonderful when it occurred. Two weeks ago, he was having a negative episode, which I am completely used to, but this one is obviously different from the others. This existential meltdown of his has lasted longer than any one he's has before and it's been VERY destructive. i've tried being as comprehensive as I can (haven't always succeeded, but I've learned to make the most out of my short fuse), but this is ridiculous.
It not only makes me feel sad and rejected, but mad at myself, because I've found myself making all of these changes while I've been with him. They're good changes, and they're for me (like expressing my emotions verbally, instead of bottling them up, how to let go of anger, to stop being vindictive, etc.), but he has somehow fallen behind? He's letting little things bother him. And while I completely understand this mindset, because I have always been one to drown in problems, his letting himself be so emotional about everything is making us drift apart.
We had gotten to the point in which we developed a hive mind and resolved everything together, effectively and adequately. He knew when I was down, what had made that why and what he had to do without being there or without me having said anything and the same went viceversa. But these last 2 weeks, he has completely shut me off, destroyed our hive and is withdrawing more and more, while still sending me his frequent "iloveyou" texts.
At the same time, those texts are ALL he says throughout a day. As if he were reassuring me, and has nothing more to say to me.
sounds like depression...which scorps are known for. has he gone to a doctor lately?
he sent me a text at 2am saying that he hadn't said anything because he's trying to "figure out what's wrong with ME". this text made me lose it. i feel horrible. he's the one that has been avoiding me and when i finally take my stand, he makes me feel like shit.
Posted by ellybd
1) Can you be a bit more specific about what he is going through? You don't have to tell exactly, but what realm of his life does it affect? Is it a family thing, a job thing, what exactly?
2) How do the fights tend to start, because of when you try to bring what's troubling you up? And how do you present the issues? How does he react initially?
3)For the love of all that is good, post some charts please! Lol. 🙂 We need that at the top of our page "Do you heart scorpios? If you do, then you'll post charts for us to look at!" You can find them at astrologycafe.com or astro.com
Till then I can't say much one way or the other for your situation. Answering those will help tell me where he is at in terms of being selfish vs just internally dealing with something important. Plus all Scorpio men go through a weird distant phase when they realize they need, actually need someone. And if something else is going on at the same time that makes it that much harder for em.
I know for me and my scorpio there were some rough patches when he was dealing with differing personal issues where he'd do similar. Cancel plans or just not commit to them. Drag his feet till the last second on answering me and it'd never be in my favor. Be kind of dark and distant in general, not be able to communicate period. I too was frustrated, hurt and worried. So I finally told him one night, "I know you have a lot going on right now, I get it. And I do not expect to be the first priority at the moment because of what you have going on. So you do what you have to for the moment and tell me what you do and don't need and I'll do it/be whatever you need right now. But when this is over/starts to wind down, I expect fully some time for just you, and me. Nothing/no one else. Period."
So things were slow and a bit difficult for a while. I didn't stop feeling worried or hurt or frustrated, but I sucked it up for him because I promised him I would. As things died down, he did exactly what I needed and what he said he would do and we our time. Things went back to bliss shortly after. It was roughly two months almost, so not too terribly long.
I could say a few other things I guess, but I don't want to speak per-maturely till I know the situation a bit better. 🙂
1. he has problems at home, is afraid he's going to fail his classes, hates his job, is in debt AND he's his own worst e
(got cut off there)
enemy.
2. fights usually break out in the moment. we sit down to talk them over for a couple of hours. we both yell, realize we're both wrong at some point (we're usually both wrong), each on says what event hurt them, we apologize and make up.
3. what I can I tell you from the top of my head: I'm scorp with a libra moon & sagittarius asecendant. venus in virgo. he's a triple scorpio (sun, moon and ascendant are all scorpio) and his venus is in libra.
enemy.
2. fights usually break out in the moment. we sit down to talk them over for a couple of hours. we both yell, realize we're both wrong at some point (we're usually both wrong), each on says what event hurt them, we apologize and make up.
3. what I can I tell you from the top of my head: I'm scorp with a libra moon & sagittarius asecendant. venus in virgo. he's a triple scorpio (sun, moon and ascendant are all scorpio) and his venus is in libra.
If he's putting it on you, he is manipulating your feelings and not taking resonsibility. Sounds like he has a lot of shit on his plate, BUT so do we all. His flaking out on you shoould NOT be excused by his current stressors. Dont own HIS shit. Make him own it.
I think you should continue to fight to keep things that make you miserable ... you should stop thinking in terms of yourself and whatever you do NEVER think that you're worth anything.
Afterall, you don't want all the women in the world (who is the majority of females) who fight to keep a loss lonely, now do you? Who are they going to turn to when they need someone to hug them, so that they can get the strength to go back and suffer more?
You are just like them .... you recognize the truth, then turn a blind eye to ask us about any tricks or tips we have for you to endure more.
What an idiot.
Afterall, you don't want all the women in the world (who is the majority of females) who fight to keep a loss lonely, now do you? Who are they going to turn to when they need someone to hug them, so that they can get the strength to go back and suffer more?
You are just like them .... you recognize the truth, then turn a blind eye to ask us about any tricks or tips we have for you to endure more.
What an idiot.
Ok sister
TYPICAL WAY ...
Try to hold him ... he'll push you away until you leave
and if you won't ... he'll eventually end it bad bad bad.
ALTERNATIVE "BEST BET" WAY ...
Just tell him you love him
and that you know MAYBE he needs some time alone to sort through
some things without you in his hair ... but you need to KNOW
and DESERVE to KNOW ... if he would just like to have a week
or so ( 2 - 6 ) to detach and deal with his stuff - time ALONE
without needing to worry about you - because you've been told
that when scorpio guys have a lot of stuff to deal with they
feel smothered and stressed ...
and that you'd rather just give him the time to sort out
rather than wait until he blows up and ends it or makes it
so you can't stand it anymore and leave him ( which may be
what he is doing UNCONSCIOUSLY , not INTENTIONALLY ... just
that's what we do to deal with stuff sometimes ,,, not saying
he wants you to go ... but he's a LONE RANGER and can deal
with big stuff better by himself ... so he's in "loner mode"
now. ... but as long as you know it ... you won't force him
to take it to the exreeme.
Basically - just go to him and say
1. I love you. I want to be with you for a long long time.
2. I know that Scorpio guys go into "loner mode" when stressed
because you survice better alone without anyone else to worry about
and detach from everyone to be alone ... and tend to push people
away so THEY leave YOU.
3. But since I know this and understand it ... why don't you
just call me every few days when you want to have sex
and we don't need to speack otherwise for a few months
while you deal with your stuff.
4. In summary - I know you need to be alone
but I don't want to lose you and so this is
probably THE ONLY WAY that we can each get
through this without hating each other
and in a year's time things will be better
and we'll still be TOGETHER.
Sounds crazy .... but maybe other Scorpio males
would like to comment on how this will end up
if she does not go about it that way:
TYPICAL WAY ...
Try to hold him ... he'll push you away until you leave
and if you won't ... he'll eventually end it bad bad bad.
ALTERNATIVE "BEST BET" WAY ...
Just tell him you love him
and that you know MAYBE he needs some time alone to sort through
some things without you in his hair ... but you need to KNOW
and DESERVE to KNOW ... if he would just like to have a week
or so ( 2 - 6 ) to detach and deal with his stuff - time ALONE
without needing to worry about you - because you've been told
that when scorpio guys have a lot of stuff to deal with they
feel smothered and stressed ...
and that you'd rather just give him the time to sort out
rather than wait until he blows up and ends it or makes it
so you can't stand it anymore and leave him ( which may be
what he is doing UNCONSCIOUSLY , not INTENTIONALLY ... just
that's what we do to deal with stuff sometimes ,,, not saying
he wants you to go ... but he's a LONE RANGER and can deal
with big stuff better by himself ... so he's in "loner mode"
now. ... but as long as you know it ... you won't force him
to take it to the exreeme.
Basically - just go to him and say
1. I love you. I want to be with you for a long long time.
2. I know that Scorpio guys go into "loner mode" when stressed
because you survice better alone without anyone else to worry about
and detach from everyone to be alone ... and tend to push people
away so THEY leave YOU.
3. But since I know this and understand it ... why don't you
just call me every few days when you want to have sex
and we don't need to speack otherwise for a few months
while you deal with your stuff.
4. In summary - I know you need to be alone
but I don't want to lose you and so this is
probably THE ONLY WAY that we can each get
through this without hating each other
and in a year's time things will be better
and we'll still be TOGETHER.
Sounds crazy .... but maybe other Scorpio males
would like to comment on how this will end up
if she does not go about it that way:
every few days for sex? WTF? she's just gonna be the GIVER in the relationship while he takes? Pulleeze. If a break is gonna be taken, a break in communication, in dating, in relating, then honey, its also gonna taken in sexing...imo, that is.
Posted by P-Angel
I think you should continue to fight to keep things that make you miserable ... you should stop thinking in terms of yourself and whatever you do NEVER think that you're worth anything.
Afterall, you don't want all the women in the world (who is the majority of females) who fight to keep a loss lonely, now do you? Who are they going to turn to when they need someone to hug them, so that they can get the strength to go back and suffer more?
You are just like them .... you recognize the truth, then turn a blind eye to ask us about any tricks or tips we have for you to endure more.
This post has no value. You don't get shit from the ideas and feelings exchanged, makes me think of the poem that Pisces BTK killer wrote for one of his victims "oh ..X why didn't you come' (person was out for the evening, escaped him). Do you even get the concept that not everyone is born a fish, that souls are born different signs because they have to go through certain things, suffer etc THEREFORE NO WE CAN'T ALL BEHAVE LIKE THE FISH nor do we have to?
Duh.
What an idiot.
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