Scorpio Moon usurped by Virgo stellium?

So I've been dating this Scorpio Moon with Scorpio Mars for over a year now, with beautiful Pluto in his 1st house. I'm not asking the usual of how do you handle a Scorpio. I'm 8th house Scorpio Sun with Scorpio Pluto. I don't know which is the stronger indicator between Mars and Pluto. And I don't care. (Ironically, his Pluto is Libra and my Mars is Libra too. Complementarity coolness factor.) They probably both play a part. I'd think his, being in Moon and such, should be more like the 'this nourishes me' and mine is more the 'this is my expression'. Astrology says that's uber fantastic and such since he's the guy and I'm the girl.

I guess I'm wondering if a stellium in 12th house Virgo can usurp all his lovely Scorpio-ness. I sense it there. I know it's there. It's dark and attractive and not even an inkling of foreboding like he believes it to be. But he says that I am too intense and clingy. His words. He also was more passionate when we first started dating. I asked him about this, and he says he was trying to be, because he thinks that's what a relationship is supposed to be, but that it didn't feel comfortable (classic coming out of shell syndrome, I've been there before!). He says it didn't feel like him, and he couldn't keep it up.

He's now become so anti-touchy-feelie that when we went out to eat last week, he dropped half his sandwich on the ground. He was sad. It was yummy (to him) and he missed it. Instinctively to help him feel better I kissed the top of his head while helping him clean it up. He didn't like that, and not for the usual Scorpio pride thing. He didn't like me 'kissing him so much in public'. On the top of the head. Seriously?

I really am the sort of girl that when I like you, when you 'feel' good, man/woman/young/old, I want to touch you. I like cuddling. Sure I reach a limit eventually, but I only see this guy once a week or less. The instinct to reach out and touch his knee with my fingertips is strong.

It hurts so much that sometimes I feel like leaving just because of the pain of being near him physically, but not allowed to touch. Because it makes him cringe. But then I remember that he is literally my very best friend on this whole planet.

When we first started dating and he was forcing himself to be more open, because he thought that's how relationships are supposed to be, I fell in love and wanted to marry this man. But this whole 180 thing... I don't know what to do with this...

When I am so stressed I can't handle it any more, I want to find someone who feels good to be physically close to and just hug them. Growing up, this was my dad. It's also been one of my grandpas, a few co-workers, and heck, even elderly customers. It just feels so good.

When he is so stressed he can't handle it any more, he wants to shut out the world and recharge his batteries in the 12th house way. I get that he needs that. But if he's feeling good enough to see me, why isn't he feeling good enough to touch?

Where the fuck has his Scorpio-ness gone, and why does he hide from it? Does bringing it out, coming out of his shell, hurt TOO much?



And since DXP has been having issues with posting my pictures...


I'm the blue one.

Test:












I think there's extra code in front of the https.


If this works, that is. :/

😐


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Haha... thanks! If I can get over this pic-posting hiccup there are some older pic-oriented threads I'd like to rev back up.

Sorry to bump, but... a little more input from those familiar with Scorpio Moons?

Yeah, I kept it vague. It's really mostly about the visual of that chart right there, matched up with experiences of being with, or living as, a Scorpio Moon.

I love his Virgo too but I feel, even if unintentionally... tricked. Because I was unknowingly part of his experiment with himself. Can I be more sensual and do the relationship things like hugs and kisses, and sitting next to each other when in a group? Answer, yes, but he didn't like it, so walled himself back up. Hmph....

Posted by Rabbit
What's the question?

Can that stellium in the chart usurp the Scorpio Moon + Mars (plus Pluto in the 1st)?

Oops, and, he's the red one.

The title of this thread sounds like a first person shooter game.

Posted by MrFirebird
The title of this thread sounds like a first person shooter game.

The chart's website wasn't very helpful in making us both 'red' and 'blue'.

Just an observation.

Your ascendant in Pisces which is the ruler of his 12th house which is in stellium in Virgo. Speaking of opposites attract!

Him saying you are too clingy is him being a Virgo, criticizing. Not necessary a bad thing really. Right now he is only seeing how you want to be loved and later (much later) he may venture to that side that is now yours. His journey is more within and with that Saturn there, it's only slowing everything down for him. The question is with that many mistakes he is making and he will be making more later on, will you stick around and be understanding with every step of the way? That's the yearn happening within. One year is too short for it to be a year of discovery.

It could be worst, he could have saturn conjunct venus. But in his case, he is just slow getting to where you are. That's 12th house for you.

Posted by Draumstafir
Sorry to bump, but... a little more input from those familiar with Scorpio Moons?

Yeah, I kept it vague. It's really mostly about the visual of that chart right there, matched up with experiences of being with, or living as, a Scorpio Moon.

I love his Virgo too but I feel, even if unintentionally... tricked. Because I was unknowingly part of his experiment with himself. Can I be more sensual and do the relationship things like hugs and kisses, and sitting next to each other when in a group? Answer, yes, but he didn't like it, so walled himself back up. Hmph....

I would say something is bothering him and he isn't telling you.

My chart is dominant Virgo and Scorpio..I know if something is making me uncomfortable that wasn't before, it's bc I'm not sharing my feelings.

Posted by Draumstafir


I love his Virgo too but I feel, even if unintentionally... tricked. Because I was unknowingly part of his experiment with himself. Can I be more sensual and do the relationship things like hugs and kisses, and sitting next to each other when in a group? Answer, yes, but he didn't like it, so walled himself back up. Hmph....

help me to understand because your writing leaves many holes for me to fill imo.

so you want him to spend more time making kissy faces with you in front of people?

Posted by Rabbit
My wife has a stronger personality than me I some ways (Virgo sun, Venus, and Mars), but all her weaknesses are my strengths and vice versa.

I think complement is a better word than usurp.

I used to think that he is the perfect complement to me. There is SO MUCH where one of us falters, and the other is strong. So the "usurp" is more his own placements perhaps overriding his other placements. From the chart experts, does this look likely?

Posted by LadyOfRebirth

Posted by VirgoFlirt
some 12th housers are emotional brick walls for 'PDA'... If he has nothing good aspecting his rising or sun, then most likely he'll be that way.

It's all about the way he sees you, remember? Some people really have a problem with emotional PDA in public (hands on), but all though they speak PDA to there friends about you.

This.

For someone that's been obsessing so much over the 12th house you sure as hell sound clueless about it.

If his Venus is in the 12th house don't expect him to stay affectionate in public. Maybe he'll go along with it in the beginning but it's not the 12th house style . Especially when there's access to private settings like ones home.

Why does it bother you so much that he doesn't want to be lovey dovey outdoors?

My Virgo and I both have Venus in 12th, with me having my moon in the 12th as well. Virgo's are private people in general but with a 12th house don't expect your relationship to be full of PDA outdoors. It's not our thing.

click to expand

Because I hardly get to see him, and then when I do, first thing he wants to do is drag me to some public place. I don't like them because I have to put on this facade of being 'proper' which he didn't used to want, but now does.

I used to be able to lean on his shoulder and he would wrap his arm around me. Now he gets bothered by it instead, considering this too much pda. Heck, I grew up able to do this with my own DAD. Too much pda? That? Seriously?

And kissing the top of his head to help him feel better when he was upset, but it backfiring as too much pda instead?

I get that whole being proper thing.

I have scorpio in moon and mars and I believe pluto as well. Dating a sun scorpio with a mars in scorpio.

I don't like PDA so much. I used to, but it only feels necessary when the person I'm with hardly ever touches me. When I am not wanting for affection I don't seek it.

However I don't think the act of leaning on his shoulder or him wrapping his arms around you is PDA. I've had guys do this in the past to me and I know how much it sucks 😢 If it is important to you I would voice your concern. Let him know you miss when he used to do this. If he's not willing to change or can't I would try to move on. It most likely wont get better and he is probably telling you (through his actions) that he just doesn't feel the same anymore.