there is only one person

in the whole world... and as long as he lives... I'd want to play my song

'the trouble with love it...' as clarkson put it,

but I can't bring myself

it is just ... not going to happen. pronto.

'the trouble with love is'

yes... the trouble with love is

the trouble with love is

it can tear you deep inside

WHEN—? will this damn thing end?

((((((Fum))))))

I know the pain, my dear. But it will pass. Promise.

Girlie ... it's embarrassing.

For me, it's been way beyond long. This should have ended then, almost 4 years ago.

yikes...4 years? 😢

Been 4 months for me...and Im starting to breathe easier now. Letting go is...hard. But necessary.

BigGirl -- I am sorry to hear about your break-up. The initial big pain took me more than a year. Now, there are flare-ups.

Elle 😄 let's go!

I know how you feel fum! I made this biggest ass of myself yesterday because of it too 😢 eeep

fum. sweetiepie. sometimes we cling to things for years because we become comfortable with clinging to it. it becomes part of us to an extent that it feels instinctive to have that longing in your heart when your mind wanders to a memory of someone you loved. i had this for over 20 years over someone i loved who was killed. i never knew where he was buried and it broke my heart. holding on became so important to me because of the guilt i felt in letting go. it was as if letting go was like an admission that i never really loved him at all....know what i mean? if you can let go, how can it have been that special.

but it's really ok to say that yeah, you know what? our time together was MORE than special but it's over now. it's gone. there's no shame in letting go.

kahlil gibran saved me in the end weirdly. his poems about interrupted love...omg. it's ok fum to let go and if your heart breaks in the process, let it be cos it's the only way you can start to fix it.

Sag89, I believe yesterday there definitely was something happening between planets, universe... whatever it was. Emotions were running high. I was getting messages from all over the place and most were pretty much off charts. I'm continuing to deal with some of them today.

I certainly don't know if it was for good or bad. It feels as if it is for good... but I think I may have offended a few people. Admittedly, THEY did stuff that seemed off, but I think, (perhaps)... I'm not sure yet.. but my reaction may have been too premature.

So something strong was happening yesterday.

Posted by R1g0rM0rT1s
holding on became so important to me because of the guilt i felt in letting go. it was as if letting go was like an admission that i never really loved him at all....know what i mean? if you can let go, how can it have been that special.

Thats how I feel alot 😢

Thank you so much for your words, dear Friends. I will call you friends because that's the way I see you.

Elle -- my dxp twin 🙂 I wish I could establish friendship with him, but he is too cynical of a person. He rubs me the wrong way because he wants to come out right all the time. I'm sure he was looking for 'better'. I also believe he learned something along the way. I don't think we can be friends. There is too much hurt I endured. It is hard to glue those pieces together. Sometimes it is good to just cut it off. I was looking for his return. I have my closure now. The cutting off process is surprising me.

Kaleidoscorp -- I associate screen names with their profile pictures. I remember you have been here for quite some time, even by looking at your profile name only. I also remember you always coming across as kind hearted and empathetic. Beautiful quality! At this point I hardly think of him anymore. That hurt I once had is over. Thank GOD it's over. I think it is somewhat the end of a withdrawal stage. There are these occasional flares lately. I don't know where they are coming from. Believe me, I am keeping extremely busy that is I'm working on new programming languages, syntaxes and codes. It keeps me happy. However spare times, seem to get me into trouble a little :-) lol

Rox! 🙂 Happy to see you back. I'm sorry you lived through a loss like that. Reminded me of someone from my past. His death was with his own hands. He is one of those I could never forget. His face at age 19 is engraved in my mind and occasionally I do wonder how it would have been if he had not gone. You are right when you say things of letting go. I never thought about it, but it does feel clinging on something that I knew was special. But it's over now.

I definitely will look into Khalil Gibran.

Thank you all.