To, Confusion Continues etc...

204.167,

I've been thinking about you? How are things going for you? It's probably too soon to tell, I would imagine.

How are you holding up and are you taking care of yourself and getting some support?

Incredible what we'll go through for a man...You don't like to be alone, and I know exactly how you feel.

Well let me now how your doin, if you want to.

Old Indian proverb "Even if we fall on our face, we are still moving forward."

All we can do is our best and hope that others will do theirs.

67.213(original numbers)

Thanks for your concern. I have my good days and my bad days, but I'm still kickin'. Some would probably consider me a sucker, but I try to see the good in my man and just deal with the bad. There's a verse in the bible that says "hate the sin, love the sinner". It's an ongoing internal struggle for me. Unless or until I have the strength to walk away, I assume it will just continue the same way. But, in the back of my mind and in my heart I hope that he may one day see the futility of what he is doing and realize he's got to make a change or eventually lose me, which I feel confident will happen if he doesn't. It's a process that I'm working through and it just takes time.

One good outcome of all this is that it has forced me to turn back to my faith. In desperation we turn to God. Maybe I needed this wakeup call. There is always that consolation that God loves me unconditionally, and faithfully.

Thanks again for your concern and consideration. What's your situation? Sometimes I can't keep straight who I've communicated with. Maybe you've already told me, but tell me again if you'd like.

Hey 204.167 you do sound stronger! You sound pretty good, and that makes glad.

And, you have love with the most important relationship. That man would never let you down!!! This may be His way of getting close to you too! That's the way I look at it.

What I have learned is this: if I get to hung up on any man or situation, then that takes time away from spending with him. I am sure that is why he prefered that we remain single, but if we couldn't contol ourselves we should have a mate.

The type of love that you have is a higher love. You have displayed that by what you are willling to give to the man that is in your life now. Your heart is gold!!! With that kind of love you are capable of so much beauty and good. Never apologize or be insecure for having a good heart and patient love.

The disciple of Jesus understood insecurity. Jesus was dead. And there these survivors were, locked in a room, they had no idea what was gong to happen next, no idea where their lives were going to go.

And then Jesus stepped into the room.

He showed them His hands, and His side. There, on His nail-pierced hands was proof that the disciples were forgiven, that Jesus had fully paid for all their sins, and that they stood at one with God.

It wasn't a hey don't worry , be happy, the sun will come out tomorrow, It was far deeper. It was, See here-in My hands and My side, here is the proof that I love you. This is your proof that your sins are forgiven.

He is there with us every day of our lives. When He steps into the room of our hearts, doubt and fear have stepped out. In its place is peace, hope, love and eternal security!

PS: I have told this to you before, but I will mention it again. I too am a recovering addict(drugs). I've been clean pretty much for the last 10 years.
It can be done and it takes willpower and respect for yourself...

Take care and keep your faith strong.
Thats what I'm talkin about!!!
67.213

Thank you. Your response has brought tears to my eyes. Again this weekend I found more evidence, and again I resolved to leave him alone. But, he just doesn't want to let go and I keep trying to figure out why. Maybe his relationships are so superficial that there is no substance other than sex. I feel like a mother rather than a girlfriend. Possibly he is so emotionally immature that he can't let go because of that role that I fulfill for him. He tells me he loves me and I know I love him so I honestly tell him I do, it's not a game for me. I think I'm just going to start distancing myself from him. We're no longer living together and I'll have my own apartment in a couple of weeks. Maybe he will just eventually let go if I don't encourage him. It would be difficult to remain friends because when I love somebody deeply it is just like salt on an open wound to try to move from a love relationship to a friendship. Who knows.... I'll just continue to pray about it and do the best I can.

Thanks for your support. You're a very kind and understanding person and I can tell that you too have a relationship with God. That's a connection that we cannot afford to let go of in spite of all else that falls apart around us.

Did you have a good mother's day? I have two children, a daughter 22 and a son 16. My daughter has three children (yes!!! 3), she started young. We all went to my mother's and I had a wonderful time just being with my family. Hope yours was good too! Keep in touch.