lololala
@lololala
11 Years
Comments: 4 · Posts: 234 · Topics: 20
why do I hate so much ?
Posted by lololala
So im a scorpio my moon is in libra..and inside me theres nothing but hate to everyone and every person I know so if theres someone I like I wont say I love u but Id say I hate you a little..
I ve been rejected alot from people I like I ve never asked them out but rejected with the eye...you know when you look at someone and he pretend he doesnt see u...yeah its kinda like it...people refuse to sit with me even my mom and dad..on summer vacation when they travel they beg me to stay...I dont like to go either they leave me alone I stay in the apartment with no one to go out with..even when I ask my siblings they refuse to go out with me...I talked to many boys at college so we can be friends and when I tell them you have to study or smthg like that they leave me alone..they just come to me when they want to make fun of smthg I wear or I hold..all that created the hate inside me,im not devil I treat people well but something inside me cant love anyone anymore..what the fk do I do im still 21..if I were 40 or smthg I wouldnt ask for help..hehehe
Aww, this makes me feel badly. Bc I love people. I want to give you a little advice. Hold on.
Honestly, I've learned that peoples reaction to me whether it be good or bad, is something that I'm giving off maybe subconsciously and unaware, but I am giving it off. I've never interacted with you and I don't know you, but I can only imagine that if everyone flees when you come around, there is something that you give off that they see that may make them a bit uncomfortable. You may not mean it or see it, but I believe this is what is happening.
You say that you harbor feelings of hate for everyone you know. To me, it's not far fetched to think that you may express these emotions without even knowing it. It may be a facial expression, or your body language. Or it may be in the things that you say that you think are harmless.
All my friends/family would always say that I'm selfish, I never knew why people kept saying this. I will give my last for the people I love. After evaluating my birth chart and studying astrology I realized that I am not selfish but self-centered, which can be confused a lot of the time. (I'm a leo) I started to see things about my behavior that would make people around me feel I do not care about their goings ons and emotions, but only my own. Once I saw this I IMMEDIATELY tried to make effort to hear out peoples concerns and change my behavior. It DID NOT AND STILL DOENS'T come naturally to me bc self-centered is just how I am, but bc I'm aware of it, I can better manage my behavior. When I get on the phone with my mom or gf's, I try to listen intently & then ask questions about what they've told me. I try to ask if there's anything they want to talk to me about instead of just dominating the conversation with my personal dramatics. It WORKED, people still think I'm self centered but say I've come a long way.
My advice to you is to sit down and ask your siblings or parents what it is about your personality that they just don't like. Pull your birth chart and get a detailed reading, I paid like 19 bucks for mine. Sit down read it, and evaluate the way you think and how your emotions work. Then try your best to correct the issues people say that they have with you. If it's what you say, change the way you approach a convo. If it's your body language, be mindful of that. It will be hard bc you are who you are, but with work, you can make whatever change you need to make a habit.
Also, pray about it! God knows how to just work things out!
I hope I helped you 🙂
You say that you harbor feelings of hate for everyone you know. To me, it's not far fetched to think that you may express these emotions without even knowing it. It may be a facial expression, or your body language. Or it may be in the things that you say that you think are harmless.
All my friends/family would always say that I'm selfish, I never knew why people kept saying this. I will give my last for the people I love. After evaluating my birth chart and studying astrology I realized that I am not selfish but self-centered, which can be confused a lot of the time. (I'm a leo) I started to see things about my behavior that would make people around me feel I do not care about their goings ons and emotions, but only my own. Once I saw this I IMMEDIATELY tried to make effort to hear out peoples concerns and change my behavior. It DID NOT AND STILL DOENS'T come naturally to me bc self-centered is just how I am, but bc I'm aware of it, I can better manage my behavior. When I get on the phone with my mom or gf's, I try to listen intently & then ask questions about what they've told me. I try to ask if there's anything they want to talk to me about instead of just dominating the conversation with my personal dramatics. It WORKED, people still think I'm self centered but say I've come a long way.
My advice to you is to sit down and ask your siblings or parents what it is about your personality that they just don't like. Pull your birth chart and get a detailed reading, I paid like 19 bucks for mine. Sit down read it, and evaluate the way you think and how your emotions work. Then try your best to correct the issues people say that they have with you. If it's what you say, change the way you approach a convo. If it's your body language, be mindful of that. It will be hard bc you are who you are, but with work, you can make whatever change you need to make a habit.
Also, pray about it! God knows how to just work things out!
I hope I helped you 🙂
Posted by starlover
😢
Aaaaahhh you poor thing...did you always feel like that and do you feel love for anyone at all?
Yes I ve always feel that...theres no pure love...its all contaminated with hate even if its small amount
Posted by lololala
.and inside me theres nothing but hate to everyone and every person I know
Wow, you must be great fun to be with since you only operate off negative energy. Change that and you will meet people you can trust and have fun with.
Posted by TachiMichi
sometimes....you simply need to hate.
everything has balance.
do not fear negative feelings
exercise them and move on.
we are human
we are allowed to experience such feelings
Im living it not experiencing it...im sad, depressed,lonely
Posted by DamnataPosted by lololala
.and inside me theres nothing but hate to everyone and every person I know
Wow, you must be great fun to be with since you only operate off negative energy. Change that and you will meet people you can trust and have fun with.click to expand
I do not hate anyone without a reason..I dont find my kind of friends I d like to be with..mine currently are always saying we know you hate us,we know you are lying to us,and they always hurt me with "why dont you change your current phone its so old,I bit your family never eat outside at fancy restaurants,why dont you change your haircut its like you came from a village or smthg" p.s: my hair is straight theres nothing weird in it just a straight hair like any girl...so as I was saying why people im around always say this about me in completely different places and they dont know each other...my so called guy friend always laugh at my walk..and his friend laugh at my clothes infront of other GIRLS ! although it just a normal black coat...why do people want to hurt me?..i behave well,I dont hurt anyone,I only talk a little but they just wanna hurt me with what they have and how fancy they are..I dont get jealous but im sick of the stupid surroundings..I want intelligent people
Walk away from them. Those aren't friends and you know it.
Better to be alone and work on bringing forth positive energy. You will attract simmillar people then.
Better to be alone and work on bringing forth positive energy. You will attract simmillar people then.
Posted by starlover
What happened at 7 to make you feel like this?
My bus driver was mistreating me saying go sit at the back you are fat and he said just stop eating..a girl told me in my class no guy could ever like you...my mom told me if we were back at when they were selling beautiful girls you wont be sold for a nickel,I could hear my neighbours laughing outside saying how fat I am...all that from 7 y till 12 or 13..why they said that ?, how stupid they was how they treat a little girl like that?..even when I was teen a boy liked me and the girl said he only likes u for ur hair...when I was at highschool I dated non attractive guy (personality nor look) to find out after 2 years of dating he only likes me because I kiss him and no girl wants to do that
And he was betting on me with his guys that im easy to get..you know a toy for his desires nothing else..he was ugly in every way I ducking hate him...all that grew the hate inside me..I grew up with no one around to love me and treat me well...
Posted by Damnata
Walk away from them. Those aren't friends and you know it.
Better to be alone and work on bringing forth positive energy. You will attract simmillar people then.
Im alone at summer vacation and holidays it just me on the bed 24 hours..but in college I ve to deal with them..I wish I could stop my self from hating even if they are bad..because ita not a comfortable feeling
lololala = denver?
Bipolar disorder? Borderline Personality Disorder?
Posted by starlover
No, just a product of bad parenting and insensitive people in her life
My dad was the same ~ his mother and father were also clueless...he loathed himself and found it hard to be positive. These days, there is tons of help out there both in the forms of therapists and healers so as long as one is open to this, things can get a lot better
This is what it is - (refer to my pm - note time stamp)
"Hand-me-down suffering".
Yet, there IS hope and there IS a higher purpose to all of it. Though we may not see it in the present tense.
Posted by TachiMichiPosted by lololalaPosted by TachiMichi
sometimes....you simply need to hate.
everything has balance.
do not fear negative feelings
exercise them and move on.
we are human
we are allowed to experience such feelings
Im living it not experiencing it...im sad, depressed,lonely
you may feel you live it, yet nothing is permanent.
im sorry you're sad and lonely.
yet this is a mountain you must climb over and conquer.
everything starts in the mind.
you must make choice to defeat these thoughts and feelings.
is hard, yes, but you can do it.click to expand
Yeah I sure can do that..im already doing it..but what about the company ? Im eve without adam..ita depressing its like im alone on this earth
Posted by starlover
Well first of all i would like to slap your mother for being so stupid and also the bus driver for being such a shallow idiot. BUT you cannot go through life hating yourself so much and thus projecting it onto others. When we accept and love ourselves we do so with others.
Work on building up your self esteem..make it your goal..every day like something about yourself, even one thing...your hair, your eyes etc. My Scorp sun with Libra moon also when younger seemed to worry about his body and so i brainwashed him with praise...he now stands tall and has started to like himself more...he works out, looks after his body well and laughs a lot. He is very happy
When we have parents that are foolish and clueless (lots of us do), we have to heal this and give the love and praise to ourselves and show the world we are good enough
You can do it
Believe me I ll get over what im in when I find someone who truly love me and give me advices someone I can enjoy his company..you know an old man like the movies who is fun to be with and always talk about history and stuff..or a guy who enjoy computers and video games..im not looking for relationships or sex or boy and girl love..im looking for good company. .
Posted by lololalaPosted by Whatu
how long have you felt like this?
Since I was 7..im 21click to expand
i dont know if its more a scorpio thing, but i understand partially what you originally posted.
looking back as a very young child i was happy and energetic. then probably around the age of 10 is when i started to feel 'different'. i stayed in my own shell most of the time. this 'hate' that you speak of i probably started to have more in high school because of what i was feeling inside, i wasnt happy. i dont really know how to explain it, just that i lived in my own world and probably missed out on a lot. i was just too shy, so it made me angry toward people.
you will grow out of it. for now, my advice to you is just enjoy your life right now and try not to be angry. look at all the good things in your life and focus on the people who really do love you. when people come around you, be happy and really feel it. As someone else stated, because people around you really do sense things and if you have a negative aura, they will not want to be around.
also, try to get into as much and interact with others as much as you can. This will help you grow more and start experiencing life instead of being hateful. when you really think about it, you know where that hate stems from and you can begin from there 🙂
Posted by lololalaPosted by starlover
What happened at 7 to make you feel like this?
My bus driver was mistreating me saying go sit at the back you are fat and he said just stop eating..a girl told me in my class no guy could ever like you...my mom told me if we were back at when they were selling beautiful girls you wont be sold for a nickel,I could hear my neighbours laughing outside saying how fat I am...all that from 7 y till 12 or 13..why they said that ?, how stupid they was how they treat a little girl like that?..even when I was teen a boy liked me and the girl said he only likes u for ur hair...when I was at highschool I dated non attractive guy (personality nor look) to find out after 2 years of dating he only likes me because I kiss him and no girl wants to do that
And he was betting on me with his guys that im easy to get..you know a toy for his desires nothing else..he was ugly in every way I ducking hate him...all that grew the hate inside me..I grew up with no one around to love me and treat me well...click to expand
They are all assholes. Dont let anyone tell you about ya self. And dont stay around people who treat you bad. Find some kind and positive friends and people to surrond ya self with. Read positive affirmations. Love your self up girl. Work out, eat right, take yourself on dates. Live ya life love will come and your perspective will change. Flush out those things, dont let them get into your head cuz they arent true. Everyone is special, believe that.
Posted by bkbella86Posted by lololalaPosted by starlover
What happened at 7 to make you feel like this?
My bus driver was mistreating me saying go sit at the back you are fat and he said just stop eating..a girl told me in my class no guy could ever like you...my mom told me if we were back at when they were selling beautiful girls you wont be sold for a nickel,I could hear my neighbours laughing outside saying how fat I am...all that from 7 y till 12 or 13..why they said that ?, how stupid they was how they treat a little girl like that?..even when I was teen a boy liked me and the girl said he only likes u for ur hair...when I was at highschool I dated non attractive guy (personality nor look) to find out after 2 years of dating he only likes me because I kiss him and no girl wants to do that
And he was betting on me with his guys that im easy to get..you know a toy for his desires nothing else..he was ugly in every way I ducking hate him...all that grew the hate inside me..I grew up with no one around to love me and treat me well...
They are all assholes. Dont let anyone tell you about ya self. And dont stay around people who treat you bad. Find some kind and positive friends and people to surrond ya self with. Read positive affirmations. Love your self up girl. Work out, eat right, take yourself on dates. Live ya life love will come and your perspective will change. Flush out those things, dont let them get into your head cuz they arent true. Everyone is special, believe that.click to expand
Thats what im doing and they are all gonna regret the times they treated me bad
Posted by lololalaPosted by bkbella86Posted by lololalaPosted by starlover
What happened at 7 to make you feel like this?
My bus driver was mistreating me saying go sit at the back you are fat and he said just stop eating..a girl told me in my class no guy could ever like you...my mom told me if we were back at when they were selling beautiful girls you wont be sold for a nickel,I could hear my neighbours laughing outside saying how fat I am...all that from 7 y till 12 or 13..why they said that ?, how stupid they was how they treat a little girl like that?..even when I was teen a boy liked me and the girl said he only likes u for ur hair...when I was at highschool I dated non attractive guy (personality nor look) to find out after 2 years of dating he only likes me because I kiss him and no girl wants to do that
And he was betting on me with his guys that im easy to get..you know a toy for his desires nothing else..he was ugly in every way I ducking hate him...all that grew the hate inside me..I grew up with no one around to love me and treat me well...
They are all assholes. Dont let anyone tell you about ya self. And dont stay around people who treat you bad. Find some kind and positive friends and people to surrond ya self with. Read positive affirmations. Love your self up girl. Work out, eat right, take yourself on dates. Live ya life love will come and your perspective will change. Flush out those things, dont let them get into your head cuz they arent true. Everyone is special, believe that.
Thats what im doing and they are all gonna regret the times they treated me badclick to expand
thats right boo...dont be bitter be better!
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I ve been rejected alot from people I like I ve never asked them out but rejected with the eye...you know when you look at someone and he pretend he doesnt see u...yeah its kinda like it...people refuse to sit with me even my mom and dad..on summer vacation when they travel they beg me to stay...I dont like to go either they leave me alone I stay in the apartment with no one to go out with..even when I ask my siblings they refuse to go out with me...I talked to many boys at college so we can be friends and when I tell them you have to study or smthg like that they leave me alone..they just come to me when they want to make fun of smthg I wear or I hold..all that created the hate inside me,im not devil I treat people well but something inside me cant love anyone anymore..what the fk do I do im still 21..if I were 40 or smthg I wouldnt ask for help..hehehe