confused on how to handle a taurus

i'm looking for some help with my cousin - taurus. she's been having issues for a couple years now & i'm really worried about her, but unfortunatly, don't know how to handle her without offending. she got fired from her job about 3 years ago & hasn't really snapped out of it since. she ended up jumping into a relationship with a guy about 30 years her senior (he's a super aggressive aries) & now she just sits at home, refusing to leave 'cuz she seems scared of the outside world. i'm the only person, besides the aries, that she talks to on a regular basis (or even sees for that matter). i keep trying to "positively" talk her out of the apartment or get her to do something besides sit there (i keep low on the pressure though, i know how much i hate to be pressured)... i'm hoping someone could give me some advice on the best way to approach her about the whole situation...

the guy is taking care of everything, but he's not the most stable personality in the world.. he's very very aggressive with a crazy stalking drug abusing past.. i usually leave when he's around. i'm just so concerned that she feels so bad about herself & she's not doing anything productive to pull herself out of it. all she does, and has done for years, is sit & wait to die (her words exactly). i don't want to come across to her like an annoying cheerleader that's trying to "fix" her (which is basically my personality anyway, hence the caution i'm trying to take in this situation). i'm just lost on the correct way to approach her without making her feel worse.

I was in a relationship for about 4 years with someone who was basically abusive, although at the time I made excuses for him (he was verbally abusive mostly, and when it started turning physical I threw him out). Sometimes I think it takes a Taurean a long time to work out that a situation is bad, not because we're stupid or anything, but I know it takes me a long time to make a commitment and it takes me a long time to break one too. And it's never usually a clean, quick break either unfortunately. I think your best bet is to talk to her about it, see if she wants to open up to you, and remind her that your always there for her if she needs to talk about anything. My friends were like that, always exploring every avenue open to me, and after those talks I'd sit and think about everything. Boost her confidence. Lots of people are fired from jobs, I know I have 🙂, and it's awful, but I always see it as a learning curve and try and get the best out of it. I am sure she's very aware that she's in a bad situation and maybe you gently bringing this up will make her start taking some positive action, will reassure her that she's right in thinking her life is not the best it could be. I'm sure she won't feel worse with you mentioning it, maybe she's waiting for someone to talk to her about it.

i completely understand what it's like to be in an unhealthy relationship & we do spend alot of time talking about it. i feel like she knows what she's doing to herself & can actually talk about it in a very sensible manner. i'm just hoping she can somehow or another start putting some of her ideas into play instead of feeling so worthless. obviously, there's more to her issues that just being a taurus - i'm just running out of options at this point. i feel like we keep having the same conversation over & over again with no results. now i'm worried i'm coming across as lecturing her... which i KNOW is not the best way to handle anyone. thanks so much for all your advice, i really appreciate it.

oh & yes... she's let herself become completely dependant on him... he takes care of EVERYTHING... money, working, actually leaving the house... he does the laundry & cleans (a little)... it's completely enabling her to sit there & feel worthless. if she tries to clean/cook, he tells her that she does a bad job... he sucks.

i agree. i think he is totally making it easy for her to sit in this awful depressed state. and i'm fairly sure he does it as a form of controlling her. she just seems so scared to make any kind of change in her life - from the smallest thing to the big things - that it's hard to motivate at all. plus i love her more than anyone & am terrified that she's just going to give up.