Molly12345
@Molly12345
9 Years
Comments: 0 · Posts: 3 · Topics: 1
Feeling rejected?
Molly is he not putting forth the effort and time it requires to build a real relationship.
I'm not certain about what you're expecting from a man that is a busy business owner--in the throes of building his business and never answers his phone until he gets hundreds of notifications and still can't reply back to everyone.
He may have some desirable qualities that we women tend to be more attracted to but those very same qualities can cause a woman to feel rejected and insecure.
I suggest you move on. You're doing what a lot of women do, they find a guy they are FINALLY super attracted to but experiences questionable behavior and instead of moving on she's looking for a way to remain patient.
He know you exist so don't keep reaching out to him if he's not answering you back or you put yourself in a vulnerable position to feel rejected and ignored.
Just think about had he had sex with you and disappeared for a week or longer, well you'd probably feel used and emotionally devastated.
You want to give it a chance with the WRONG guy. He's more into himself--building his empire and he really doesn't have the time to put in that exact same energy to build a real relationship.
Probably a nice guy but he's not that into building a relationship from the ground up with you.
If you stick around don't expect much more than what you're getting now, actually expect less and less.
I'm not certain about what you're expecting from a man that is a busy business owner--in the throes of building his business and never answers his phone until he gets hundreds of notifications and still can't reply back to everyone.
He may have some desirable qualities that we women tend to be more attracted to but those very same qualities can cause a woman to feel rejected and insecure.
I suggest you move on. You're doing what a lot of women do, they find a guy they are FINALLY super attracted to but experiences questionable behavior and instead of moving on she's looking for a way to remain patient.
He know you exist so don't keep reaching out to him if he's not answering you back or you put yourself in a vulnerable position to feel rejected and ignored.
Just think about had he had sex with you and disappeared for a week or longer, well you'd probably feel used and emotionally devastated.
You want to give it a chance with the WRONG guy. He's more into himself--building his empire and he really doesn't have the time to put in that exact same energy to build a real relationship.
Probably a nice guy but he's not that into building a relationship from the ground up with you.
If you stick around don't expect much more than what you're getting now, actually expect less and less.
Posted by Molly12345Seem to me like your trying to clarify if he's fooling around, because he not getting any from you.
I've been dating a Taurus guy for a couple of months. He is a busy business owner and very driven to build his business right now. The communication between dates has always been pretty sparse, mostly confirming or making plans. But when we are together its great! We have very open and straightforward conversations. We have had so many deep conversations and our dates last for hours because we never seem to run out of conversation. On various occasions he has told me he really likes me, I'm worth taking the time to break down my walls, I make him smile, he's happy when he's with me, he's not dating anyone else etc... In the beginning, I asked him about the lack of using his phone and he ignores it during the day while he's at work and then tries to catch up on hundreds of notifications, so sometimes he misses them. He doesn't seem to think going a few days without correspondence is uncommon. I want to be clear that I trust him and I believe what he has said because of his straightforward nature and he has done nothing to make me feel otherwise.
He came over for dinner last week and things escalated. He tried to initiate sex for the first time and I stopped it. Because of the intermittent correspondence and my past experiences- I wasn't there. He assured me it was ok and the night continued. Before he left I told him I didn't stop it because I didn't want to (I DO!) but there was basically too much going through my mind. He said its ok- You're worth waiting for. He hesitated leaving but eventually did and everything was fine.
So the next day I sent a text and he responded. Since then I have sent a couple messages with no response. It has now been just over a week. Is he fading away or consumed with life? Do I reach out and apologize for maybe hurting his feelings if he is feeling rejected? I definitely want to give it a chance because he is worth it, which is more than I can say for most of the guys I've dated in years.
Your beating your self up , give it space , your acting to clingy and this could push him away , some partners don't catchup for weeks , the the people who have a less active life spend most of their time thinking , and the possible reason for this is their a gap in their life , would be replenished if this works out, most bulls like independent women, maybe his work,put him into a zone,where he can't really switch, give it time, all thoughs deep conversations must be about understanding, or was it just talk for talk.
i think if you want to give this guy a chance you have to give him the benefit of the doubt. after all, it's only been a week. (how did you end the night by the way? did you at least kiss him goodbye?)
but tiki is right too. this guy sounds busy. my bull owns several businesses as well so i understand when at times, the businesses get on top of him. you have to decide if you can handle this. i consider myself not a particularly clingy person but i would be lying if i said at times they didn't get in the way but i understand and i am patient and i get on with my own stuff until we can work out some time together that suits us both. with that said, no matter how busy he is, we always stay in contact. a week of no contact? uh-huh, no way.
so it's hard to advise you. personally, i would give him a bit more time, have a talk about what you each expect of the other. if he can accommodate your needs, great. if you he can't then you shouldn't wait around in the hope that one day it will change. either you except it as the price of admission or look for someone who can give you what you want. there is no shame in that.
but tiki is right too. this guy sounds busy. my bull owns several businesses as well so i understand when at times, the businesses get on top of him. you have to decide if you can handle this. i consider myself not a particularly clingy person but i would be lying if i said at times they didn't get in the way but i understand and i am patient and i get on with my own stuff until we can work out some time together that suits us both. with that said, no matter how busy he is, we always stay in contact. a week of no contact? uh-huh, no way.
so it's hard to advise you. personally, i would give him a bit more time, have a talk about what you each expect of the other. if he can accommodate your needs, great. if you he can't then you shouldn't wait around in the hope that one day it will change. either you except it as the price of admission or look for someone who can give you what you want. there is no shame in that.
Posted by jeaneThank you Jeane.. I was just reading some of your other postings and I appreciate your perspective. We ended the night with several kisses as he left. It was good. He is an old soul so in today's dating, I don't think he applies to the rules, which I like. I am totally willing to accept that this can happen from time to time but I need to know that hes still there. We definitely need to have a conversation about this. We are loosely defined at this point which is the bigger issue. I have been "ghosted" in the past but my gut is telling me this one is different. I was hoping that a Taurus guy would weigh in on the feeling rejection aspect.
i think if you want to give this guy a chance you have to give him the benefit of the doubt. after all, it's only been a week. (how did you end the night by the way? did you at least kiss him goodbye?)
but tiki is right too. this guy sounds busy. my bull owns several businesses as well so i understand when at times, the businesses get on top of him. you have to decide if you can handle this. i consider myself not a particularly clingy person but i would be lying if i said at times they didn't get in the way but i understand and i am patient and i get on with my own stuff until we can work out some time together that suits us both. with that said, no matter how busy he is, we always stay in contact. a week of no contact? uh-huh, no way.
so it's hard to advise you. personally, i would give him a bit more time, have a talk about what you each expect of the other. if he can accommodate your needs, great. if you he can't then you shouldn't wait around in the hope that one day it will change. either you except it as the price of admission or look for someone who can give you what you want. there is no shame in that.
Posted by Molly12345i can only share what my bf told me at the start. he never took it as rejection. i don't know about your dynamic though. we're quite a physical couple and he was not one to give up so i don't think he ever took my speed personally.Posted by jeaneThank you Jeane.. I was just reading some of your other postings and I appreciate your perspective. We ended the night with several kisses as he left. It was good. He is an old soul so in today's dating, I don't think he applies to the rules, which I like. I am totally willing to accept that this can happen from time to time but I need to know that hes still there. We definitely need to have a conversation about this. We are loosely defined at this point which is the bigger issue. I have been "ghosted" in the past but my gut is telling me this one is different. I was hoping that a Taurus guy would weigh in on the feeling rejection aspect.
i think if you want to give this guy a chance you have to give him the benefit of the doubt. after all, it's only been a week. (how did you end the night by the way? did you at least kiss him goodbye?)
but tiki is right too. this guy sounds busy. my bull owns several businesses as well so i understand when at times, the businesses get on top of him. you have to decide if you can handle this. i consider myself not a particularly clingy person but i would be lying if i said at times they didn't get in the way but i understand and i am patient and i get on with my own stuff until we can work out some time together that suits us both. with that said, no matter how busy he is, we always stay in contact. a week of no contact? uh-huh, no way.
so it's hard to advise you. personally, i would give him a bit more time, have a talk about what you each expect of the other. if he can accommodate your needs, great. if you he can't then you shouldn't wait around in the hope that one day it will change. either you except it as the price of admission or look for someone who can give you what you want. there is no shame in that.
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i can understand your apprehension of if he is still there. two things; these guys are very single focused. when they concentrate on one thing they forget everything else. again, it's just something you have to accept and not take it to heart. the other thing is they are not flighty, they don't change their mind easily and if something is working, they want it to keep the status quo.
i was reminded only this week of how much of a bull my bf is. they really cannot deal with change so don't think it is likely he has just lot interest and gotten bored. other signs? absolutely a possibility. bulls? not so much.
Posted by tiki33This ^^^^^ a million times.
Molly is he not putting forth the effort and time it requires to build a real relationship.
I'm not certain about what you're expecting from a man that is a busy business owner--in the throes of building his business and never answers his phone until he gets hundreds of notifications and still can't reply back to everyone.
He may have some desirable qualities that we women tend to be more attracted to but those very same qualities can cause a woman to feel rejected and insecure.
I suggest you move on. You're doing what a lot of women do, they find a guy they are FINALLY super attracted to but experiences questionable behavior and instead of moving on she's looking for a way to remain patient.
He know you exist so don't keep reaching out to him if he's not answering you back or you put yourself in a vulnerable position to feel rejected and ignored.
Just think about had he had sex with you and disappeared for a week or longer, well you'd probably feel used and emotionally devastated.
You want to give it a chance with the WRONG guy. He's more into himself--building his empire and he really doesn't have the time to put in that exact same energy to build a real relationship.
Probably a nice guy but he's not that into building a relationship from the ground up with you.
If you stick around don't expect much more than what you're getting now, actually expect less and less.
To be clear I completely understand the don't stick around mentality. And I have been there enough times to walk away but I do feel this time is different. I know, some might think that's naive but lets be real, I'm obviously going to attempt another connection. I tend to follow my gut and its worked out for me. I did recently (before I started dating this Taurus) have a male friend bring up astrological signs and how they can play a part. Because I know I'm such a Scorpio, I didn't discredit it. I remembered that conversation a few days ago and decided to see what his bday says about him. The biggest thing mentioned with Taurus is having patience and being straightforward. As I looked more, I found it to be enlightening. Since I can't think of a single Taurus guy I know, I thought I would give this a shot.
Once again, I appreciate all perspective that have been presented.
Once again, I appreciate all perspective that have been presented.
Molly,
You said: I definitely want to give it a chance because he is worth it, which is more than I can say for most of the guys I've dated in years.
Imagine this: in your left hand you have some dog shit. In your right hand you have some dog shit with sparkly glitter on it. The dog shit with sparkly glitter on it looks better than the dog shit without sparkly glitter on it but it doesn't mean it's better. Underneath it's still just dog shit.
You, my dear, had the dog shit with sparkly glitter on it.
He said all the right things and appeared to do all the right things but when it came down to it, he disappeared.
Good for you for not opening your legs until you felt ready. You've now been rewarded handsomely by freeing yourself from the sparkly dog shit so you can await a nice fella who will come along and they will have time for you, and who won't throw you a few scraps of time in his ever so busy life and expect you to be happy with it, and who will not disappear for a week or more when you tell them you want to wait a bit longer for sex as you're not ready.
I wouldn't say you're being clingy but it doesn't sound like you're both on the same page wanting the same thing. It's not a match. It might be helpful to establish what you're both looking for. That said, he might be having some space to think over things. Rubber band effect. I'd leave him alone to see if he comes back to you. If he does, hear him out, re-evaluate. If he doesn't then move onto the next.
You said: I definitely want to give it a chance because he is worth it, which is more than I can say for most of the guys I've dated in years.
Imagine this: in your left hand you have some dog shit. In your right hand you have some dog shit with sparkly glitter on it. The dog shit with sparkly glitter on it looks better than the dog shit without sparkly glitter on it but it doesn't mean it's better. Underneath it's still just dog shit.
You, my dear, had the dog shit with sparkly glitter on it.
He said all the right things and appeared to do all the right things but when it came down to it, he disappeared.
Good for you for not opening your legs until you felt ready. You've now been rewarded handsomely by freeing yourself from the sparkly dog shit so you can await a nice fella who will come along and they will have time for you, and who won't throw you a few scraps of time in his ever so busy life and expect you to be happy with it, and who will not disappear for a week or more when you tell them you want to wait a bit longer for sex as you're not ready.
I wouldn't say you're being clingy but it doesn't sound like you're both on the same page wanting the same thing. It's not a match. It might be helpful to establish what you're both looking for. That said, he might be having some space to think over things. Rubber band effect. I'd leave him alone to see if he comes back to you. If he does, hear him out, re-evaluate. If he doesn't then move onto the next.
Posted by Molly12345One of the worst things about being a Scorp is we think we just know shit when in reality we don't. We place so much on gut feel and intuition and a lot of the time it's just bullshit. We see what we want to see and convince ourselves of shit that we really shouldn't. We rarely do ourselves any favours with it all. I'm not saying we aren't intuitive but perhaps using more logic and rational thinking might help us more.
To be clear I completely understand the don't stick around mentality. And I have been there enough times to walk away but I do feel this time is different. I know, some might think that's naive but lets be real, I'm obviously going to attempt another connection. I tend to follow my gut and its worked out for me. I did recently (before I started dating this Taurus) have a male friend bring up astrological signs and how they can play a part. Because I know I'm such a Scorpio, I didn't discredit it. I remembered that conversation a few days ago and decided to see what his bday says about him. The biggest thing mentioned with Taurus is having patience and being straightforward. As I looked more, I found it to be enlightening. Since I can't think of a single Taurus guy I know, I thought I would give this a shot.
Once again, I appreciate all perspective that have been presented.
Hi Molly12345 , I will just share a little from what I've learned so far in my relationship. My guy is very similar to yours he is a very successful business owner and work can definitely keep him busy. My Bull is also not the best at communicating and honestly he will be the first to tell you so up front. I've learned to pay attention to his actions and also what he says when he does communicate. If a day or even two passes without us speaking he always expresses how much he missed me while we were not speaking and how much he cares for me. If your Taurus expresses his feelings to you take his word as the truth because they hate to be misunderstood and they are usually honest. Keyword "usually" because we all know there are some exceptions here and there.
Whenever I need more from my Bull I always express that to him although they are stubborn and hate change he usually tries and I appreciate the effort. He only tries a little but I love to see it. The most important thing in your relationship will 100% be patience. Dating a taurus is not always easy but they are so worth it. The only thing I would say that worries me about your situation is that your relationship is just beginning and he's already lacking on the communication. In our first 5 months I talked to my Taurus non stop we talked every single day at least 3 or 4 times a day. He only began to slow the communication down after he said I love you. To me that just meant he has made up his mind and is now lazy lol.
I've only went without speaking to my guy for over a week when he was dealing with issues in his personal life and he actually expressed that to me prior to the non speaking. This could be the case with your guy because they like to handle issues on there own with no distractions. I'll be honest a week is very long for him not to say anything at all. I recommend texting him something light for example "I hope you're having a great day" nothing too serious but just show him that you are thinking of him. That always works with my Taurus he is seriously like my big baby.
I would say think long and hard about what you can handle and what you will except in this situation. If you feel that he is worth it show him with your loyalty and your actions because words don't hold much weight.
Whenever I need more from my Bull I always express that to him although they are stubborn and hate change he usually tries and I appreciate the effort. He only tries a little but I love to see it. The most important thing in your relationship will 100% be patience. Dating a taurus is not always easy but they are so worth it. The only thing I would say that worries me about your situation is that your relationship is just beginning and he's already lacking on the communication. In our first 5 months I talked to my Taurus non stop we talked every single day at least 3 or 4 times a day. He only began to slow the communication down after he said I love you. To me that just meant he has made up his mind and is now lazy lol.
I've only went without speaking to my guy for over a week when he was dealing with issues in his personal life and he actually expressed that to me prior to the non speaking. This could be the case with your guy because they like to handle issues on there own with no distractions. I'll be honest a week is very long for him not to say anything at all. I recommend texting him something light for example "I hope you're having a great day" nothing too serious but just show him that you are thinking of him. That always works with my Taurus he is seriously like my big baby.
I would say think long and hard about what you can handle and what you will except in this situation. If you feel that he is worth it show him with your loyalty and your actions because words don't hold much weight.
Why would you give it a shot when you're already feeling rejected in a non-existent relationship. You think you feel rejected now, just wait until you've stuck around for months and he's still doing what he's doing now. You're going to feel super rejected and I hate to say it but you'll feel shame and guilt for giving your energy, mind, heart to a guy that won't have an issue with doling out behaviors that feel like rejection.
"And I have been there enough times to walk away but I do feel this time is different. "
Yeah but you feel it, clearly he does not have that same mutual feeling and this is were a lot of women get tangled up because she believes the connection she's feeling is mutual up until he disappears and then she's dealing with two issues that don't coincide together because on the one hand he's 100% connected when she's with him but on the other hand he has this out of sight out of mind behavior by disappearing for days or even weeks.
This all just kinda feels desperate on your part as if you don't have much going on in your life so you're going to stick around for a guy that is sometiming with you.
The crumbs he's doling out keeps you on the hook, keeps you completely focused on him and he's gets the benefit of having you even when he's nowhere to be found.
Also a lot of women don't realize that her boundaries are being tested and not in a good way. If she makes it okay for him to be gone for days and/or weeks at a time then she's basically saying I'll wait for you and that doesn't give him the incentive to change his behavior, I mean he's being rewarded for disappearing with the same love and affection he'd receive if he'd been in her life daily. A man will only do what we women allow them to do.
Common sense is needed in situations like this. His behavior tells the whole story about his intentions.
At the end of the day you're an adult so I'm sure you'll do what you feel you have to do but you've been forewarned.
"And I have been there enough times to walk away but I do feel this time is different. "
Yeah but you feel it, clearly he does not have that same mutual feeling and this is were a lot of women get tangled up because she believes the connection she's feeling is mutual up until he disappears and then she's dealing with two issues that don't coincide together because on the one hand he's 100% connected when she's with him but on the other hand he has this out of sight out of mind behavior by disappearing for days or even weeks.
This all just kinda feels desperate on your part as if you don't have much going on in your life so you're going to stick around for a guy that is sometiming with you.
The crumbs he's doling out keeps you on the hook, keeps you completely focused on him and he's gets the benefit of having you even when he's nowhere to be found.
Also a lot of women don't realize that her boundaries are being tested and not in a good way. If she makes it okay for him to be gone for days and/or weeks at a time then she's basically saying I'll wait for you and that doesn't give him the incentive to change his behavior, I mean he's being rewarded for disappearing with the same love and affection he'd receive if he'd been in her life daily. A man will only do what we women allow them to do.
Common sense is needed in situations like this. His behavior tells the whole story about his intentions.
At the end of the day you're an adult so I'm sure you'll do what you feel you have to do but you've been forewarned.
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