anonymousheart
@anonymousheart
12 Years500+ Posts
Comments: 63 · Posts: 714 · Topics: 35
Giving the Taurus silent treatment- yay or nay
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...and does not listen to me.
I hear you on this. My ex husband, a seriously fucked up example of a Taurus, never truly listened. He would SEEM to listen but the same problems would crop up and we'd have the same arguments about them. He never set boundaries (in our case it was his mother...he's a SERIOUS mama's boy. Forget cutting the cord, he still hasn't exited her vagina). Add that once he started to not get his way in everything he became emotionally and verbally abusive and almost crossed the lines on physical abuse a few times but I dared him to do it and that stopped him, he lowered his fist and hit the wall instead and there really wasn't anything to save or to try to save. One person can only do so much to bridge a gap. Gotta have both on the same page.
As for the silent treatment: it never worked on the Taurus. They just pretend nothing was ever wrong and you can pretty much forget about an apology.
Stop and think for a second. Where you have problems witj your taurus before the other problems? I think the other personal problems are playing with your emotions and causing a lot of your frustration with him. If you need to take time to breath and find your peace you should do that for you but not to punish him.
As far as the situation you stated about him. He's always going to be a nice guy. It's who he is. He will help you, your friends, and your family. We thrive on being helpful and needed by the one we love.
He's defending himself and the situation because he wants to avoid the conflict. It isn't worth the fight to him. Even if he was manipulated, it's done. He put the bed together, it's over. It was a few hrs. He can't go back now. Where's the harm? She has a bed. He's fine with his decision. You should be fine. Who did it hurt? Why create a big fight over that? Is it really that big if a deal that he helped your friend? You're going I break up with him for that? If anyone should be lectured I think it should be your friend for ditching you both and not helping. She sounds awesome.
It really doesn't seem like you're mad that he isn't listening, you're mad because he isn't showing you what you want after the talk. You're expecting an immediate switch in his actions. That's where the problem is.
He's listening but he won't change.
Youre asking him not to be himself. This behavior comes naturally to him. You can keep caring and looking out for him. I'm sure he sees that in your talks and is flattered but he will contine to do these things. The next time someone, within his circle and yours, asks for help he will be there and offer to help.
You need to decide if this trait is something you can handle or not. The silent treatment won't get you the outcome you're are hoping for.
As far as the situation you stated about him. He's always going to be a nice guy. It's who he is. He will help you, your friends, and your family. We thrive on being helpful and needed by the one we love.
He's defending himself and the situation because he wants to avoid the conflict. It isn't worth the fight to him. Even if he was manipulated, it's done. He put the bed together, it's over. It was a few hrs. He can't go back now. Where's the harm? She has a bed. He's fine with his decision. You should be fine. Who did it hurt? Why create a big fight over that? Is it really that big if a deal that he helped your friend? You're going I break up with him for that? If anyone should be lectured I think it should be your friend for ditching you both and not helping. She sounds awesome.
It really doesn't seem like you're mad that he isn't listening, you're mad because he isn't showing you what you want after the talk. You're expecting an immediate switch in his actions. That's where the problem is.
He's listening but he won't change.
Youre asking him not to be himself. This behavior comes naturally to him. You can keep caring and looking out for him. I'm sure he sees that in your talks and is flattered but he will contine to do these things. The next time someone, within his circle and yours, asks for help he will be there and offer to help.
You need to decide if this trait is something you can handle or not. The silent treatment won't get you the outcome you're are hoping for.
I hate typos. Ugh
All I can think is "Such a nice boy, building a bed for a young lady." hhhahahaaa....
I have to agree with Taurusgirl. You should be so lucky to have such a sweet and giving guy! Could be worse girl...if you can't accept him for what he is then maybe he's not the one for you.
And nay on the silent treatment, won't really phase him cuz we're pros at that too 😉
And nay on the silent treatment, won't really phase him cuz we're pros at that too 😉
And this is why bulls have rings in their noses...makes them easier to handle. 😉
Oy, you earth signs...like dealing with rocks sometimes. BAD ROCKS, BAD!!
Oy, you earth signs...like dealing with rocks sometimes. BAD ROCKS, BAD!!
"He's defending himself and the situation because he wants to avoid the conflict. It isn't worth the fight to him. Even if he was manipulated, it's done. He put the bed together, it's over. It was a few hrs. He can't go back now. Where's the harm? She has a bed. He's fine with his decision. You should be fine. Who did it hurt? Why create a big fight over that? Is it really that big if a deal that he helped your friend? You're going I break up with him for that? If anyone should be lectured I think it should be your friend for ditching you both and not helping. She sounds awesome. "
Let me expand. I felt the same way. It's over, until the next day she blows up our phone in our only time together diner...when I don't pick up she calls him. Like a brat. Then the next day she freaked out thinking I deleted her on fb, when I just deactivated it 2 weeks ago and then she went to him about it 10 min later. I did sit her down and let her know what was up. I also let him know, you need to draw boundaries or this is what happens.
"He's listening but he won't change.
Youre asking him not to be himself. This behavior comes naturally to him. You can keep caring and looking out for him. I'm sure he sees that in your talks and is flattered but he will contine to do these things. The next time someone, within his circle and yours, asks for help he will be there and offer to help. "
You're right. He won't huh? I'm not asking him to change though. That's what is being missed. I'm asking him to draw boundaries. Normal, healthy, boundaries, so it doesn't effect my life or anyone elses. He does this to avoid his life, because he feels inept in it so he resorts to helping ppl bc it makes him feel good. But there is something seriously wrong because he goes way out of his way and it's very fishy. It's almost like he needs it more than them.
I'm upset that he isn't supportive and attacks me. He listened better at the beginning of the relationship. Even agreed with the same point. My life right now IS very stressful, but this issue has come up before and will again so something has to change.
Let me expand. I felt the same way. It's over, until the next day she blows up our phone in our only time together diner...when I don't pick up she calls him. Like a brat. Then the next day she freaked out thinking I deleted her on fb, when I just deactivated it 2 weeks ago and then she went to him about it 10 min later. I did sit her down and let her know what was up. I also let him know, you need to draw boundaries or this is what happens.
"He's listening but he won't change.
Youre asking him not to be himself. This behavior comes naturally to him. You can keep caring and looking out for him. I'm sure he sees that in your talks and is flattered but he will contine to do these things. The next time someone, within his circle and yours, asks for help he will be there and offer to help. "
You're right. He won't huh? I'm not asking him to change though. That's what is being missed. I'm asking him to draw boundaries. Normal, healthy, boundaries, so it doesn't effect my life or anyone elses. He does this to avoid his life, because he feels inept in it so he resorts to helping ppl bc it makes him feel good. But there is something seriously wrong because he goes way out of his way and it's very fishy. It's almost like he needs it more than them.
I'm upset that he isn't supportive and attacks me. He listened better at the beginning of the relationship. Even agreed with the same point. My life right now IS very stressful, but this issue has come up before and will again so something has to change.
It sounds a bit silly: My guy is too giving.
Pales in comparison to: My guy cheats, or beats the shit out of me...
But something inside me just goes off and says THIS IS NOT RIGHT!!!!! (for me)
Pales in comparison to: My guy cheats, or beats the shit out of me...
But something inside me just goes off and says THIS IS NOT RIGHT!!!!! (for me)
However we booked a seven day vacation to stay with my mom in Florida in 3 weeks pre-fight so I guess we will have to speak at some point and he knows that too LOL
Posted by anonymousheart
Basically, my Taurus is having BOUNDARIES issues with other friends, always women, in his life.
Because this is the third time speaking to him about this, I was very pissed off. Stuck to my points and spoke passionately. He was NOT listening to me.
So at this point I'm not talking to him. I'm not reaching out. There are many other problems- the death of a family member, work, and I feel he was being very insensitive and trying to 'pull my strings' press my triggers, by moving the relationship back a few pegs "we should just go on dates, i won't come over anymore" he said.
How do Taurus react to the silent treatment?
I honestly don't feel like there's a point. I've already explained myself, he just needs to get it through his thick head or we should both move on. I love him, and he loves me, but I have to be practical and say I can't stay with a man that has no boundaries a
Giving him the silent treatment in order for him to do what you want is manipulation. That's not right. He sees nothing wrong with what he does and you can't change that about him. He's not wrong... you just have different values in this regard.
Giving him the silent treatment because you have spoken your feelings and no longer want to communicate with a person who can't respect your feelings... is being a person of conviction. I think your feelings are valid, but that's the kind of person I am. Possessive in love.
Make a decision for yourself and take cohesion out of it. You can move on and meet someone who shares your same values or maybe the Taurus, given time will consider which is more important to him... saving/supporting many females or having a healthy relationship with one... and change his mind.
Either way it is HIS decision. Wouldn't you want your man to willing want to please you instead of having to nag him into submission and use tactics to get your way?
You have to decide for yourself if this is a deal breaker and if it is then he has to decide if he wants to change how he does things, to set boundaries or not. What would scare me about him being too nice and too helpful is if he can't say no and doesn't want to when someone is being that manipulative with him then will he say no and draw boundaries in other areas if the temptation arises?
*coercion
Posted by MoonArtist
And this is why bulls have rings in their noses...makes them easier to handle. 😉
Oy, you earth signs...like dealing with rocks sometimes. BAD ROCKS, BAD!!
My best friend gave me the nickname "pet rock" in high school. LOL.
But yeah, bulls are hard to control and change. Better suited for a person that loves us for who we are and stuff....Its really hard to control the "good guy" Taurus too, bc being the good guy makes him feel good, and you become the bad guy when you try to get in the way. We often attribute it to self-centeredness on your part. Maybe sometimes it is.
You are misunderstanding me. I have already explained myself, and I'm stressed out. Our last conversation was draining and unproductive. It's more for clarity, preservation, but to let him know I'm serious about what I said and I am not backing down.
"He's not wrong... you just have different values in this regard." This is interesting. I think you might be right in a sense. But where is the middle ground? Again, I'm not asking him to stop helping ppl, just not to overextend so it cuts into our time together, or his time bettering himself.
Again, I must stress that I do not want to change the fact that he helps people. This is a part of him I love. It is unique, and very special. Very pure. I don't want to change this in him. It makes him him. And he's a very special person. However, he doesn't know where to draw the line, and he's so blinded by the idea of being a savior that he doesn't even see when he's being WORKED!
'Wouldn't you want your man to willing want to please you instead of having to nag him into submission and use tactics to get your way?'
Yes, trust me. Which is why I don't even feel like talking about it anymore.I'm annoyed I even have to bring it up in the first place......I'm not trying to nag, or "win" > I know that won't stick. It's not like his realization of this trait won't be good for him too! Then he can start bettering himself. He's behind in life and this is why. You can tell he feels bad about it too. But I'm not his fking mother. So, lets just confine it to- I don't like when it infringes on my time.
He's a great guy but so incredibly daft about this stuff. Luckily I trust him, and know if a "damsel in distress" crossed a line, he would not go for that....Trouble is he's like a homing beacon for master manipulators. I think he likes it though. Which makes me wonder why he's with me:
A) Straight shooter
B) Confrontational
C) Super independent
"He's not wrong... you just have different values in this regard." This is interesting. I think you might be right in a sense. But where is the middle ground? Again, I'm not asking him to stop helping ppl, just not to overextend so it cuts into our time together, or his time bettering himself.
Again, I must stress that I do not want to change the fact that he helps people. This is a part of him I love. It is unique, and very special. Very pure. I don't want to change this in him. It makes him him. And he's a very special person. However, he doesn't know where to draw the line, and he's so blinded by the idea of being a savior that he doesn't even see when he's being WORKED!
'Wouldn't you want your man to willing want to please you instead of having to nag him into submission and use tactics to get your way?'
Yes, trust me. Which is why I don't even feel like talking about it anymore.I'm annoyed I even have to bring it up in the first place......I'm not trying to nag, or "win" > I know that won't stick. It's not like his realization of this trait won't be good for him too! Then he can start bettering himself. He's behind in life and this is why. You can tell he feels bad about it too. But I'm not his fking mother. So, lets just confine it to- I don't like when it infringes on my time.
He's a great guy but so incredibly daft about this stuff. Luckily I trust him, and know if a "damsel in distress" crossed a line, he would not go for that....Trouble is he's like a homing beacon for master manipulators. I think he likes it though. Which makes me wonder why he's with me:
A) Straight shooter
B) Confrontational
C) Super independent
I just realized though that in fact I'm not giving him the silent treatment. What is happening is we are having a stand off.
He's writing goo goo gaga letters, but that's nothing to do with the facts.
He's not calling, or approaching the issue.
He's writing goo goo gaga letters, but that's nothing to do with the facts.
He's not calling, or approaching the issue.
Posted by TaurusLovesScorpioPosted by MoonArtist
And this is why bulls have rings in their noses...makes them easier to handle. 😉
Oy, you earth signs...like dealing with rocks sometimes. BAD ROCKS, BAD!!
My best friend gave me the nickname "pet rock" in high school. LOL.
But yeah, bulls are hard to control and change. Better suited for a person that loves us for who we are and stuff....Its really hard to control the "good guy" Taurus too, bc being the good guy makes him feel good, and you become the bad guy when you try to get in the way. We often attribute it to self-centeredness on your part. Maybe sometimes it is.click to expand
Well now you're making me feel like a jerk Mr. Rock! He tries to change me also.....#nothappening #opentogrowth
Posted by MoonArtist
You have to decide for yourself if this is a deal breaker and if it is then he has to decide if he wants to change how he does things, to set boundaries or not. What would scare me about him being too nice and too helpful is if he can't say no and doesn't want to when someone is being that manipulative with him then will he say no and draw boundaries in other areas if the temptation arises?
Yea...I've thought about that. Most likely no. He's not a cheater, but he can be led astray, and the two girls I was having problems with are amazing manipulators and built everything in the deep seated ruse of friendship. (A taurus,and scorpio) The spend time building too. So that is something he's most prone to be weak to. Doesn't help that he's DAFT to when someone is into him. But I do trust him.
Its really hard to control the "good guy" Taurus too, bc being the good guy makes him feel good, and you become the bad guy when you try to get in the way.
WOW, you nailed it TLS.
That's why I get mad, cause I feel like I'm cornered into the 'bad guy' role. I even brought this up by saying STOP PUTTING ME IN THIS POSITION because you don't' know where to draw boundaries!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WOW, you nailed it TLS.
That's why I get mad, cause I feel like I'm cornered into the 'bad guy' role. I even brought this up by saying STOP PUTTING ME IN THIS POSITION because you don't' know where to draw boundaries!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Whoever said it is about perspective nailed it. To you its bad boundaries and enabling. To him, he's being self-sacrificial, putting others before himself. A spiritually evolved Taurus has a heart of gold and is very much like a child. We don't care if someone takes advantage of us if we're doing a good deed. We won't stand for it over and over, but we know, from a karmic standpoint, it will all settle out, and its the motives and intentions of our own heart that are important.
Posted by anonymousheart
He's a great guy but so incredibly daft about this stuff. Luckily I trust him, and know if a "damsel in distress" crossed a line, he would not go for that....Trouble is he's like a homing beacon for master manipulators. I think he likes it though. Which makes me wonder why he's with me:
A) Straight shooter
B) Confrontational
C) Super independent
Perhaps he is drawn to those qualities in you because they are lacking in himself.
I think Taurus influenced people really have to make their own decisions. My baby has a Taurus Moon. They will hear you.. sometimes silently and sometimes with defence... then go away and mull things over but you won't know what he's decided until he shows you with his actions.
Being nice to people is a great thing that should be encouraged. But having boundaries so those acts of generosity don't take away from other areas of your life is even better. It's also not that easy to do and takes time to establish those boundaries.
Drop it and watch. If he is sending love messages to you he's heard you, knows you're pissed and wants to keep you close. If his actions change.. he's heard you and wishes to make you happy. If his actions don't change... then you have a decision to make.
Posted by MoonArtist
As for the silent treatment: it never worked on the Taurus. They just pretend nothing was ever wrong and you can pretty much forget about an apology.
This is very true.
I'm obstinate.
The silent treatment never works for me..
Good Luck with that one.
However, if rationalization (when communicating) is used....
And they do not hear an apology...
They will get a changed disposition.
Things will be going their way...
If they never hear the words "I'm Sorry"
Deeply...They will know I'm sorry.
"Being nice to people is a great thing that should be encouraged. But having boundaries so those acts of generosity don't take away from other areas of your life is even better. It's also not that easy to do and takes time to establish those boundaries."
100 percent agree!
Honestly, I really do love him, and want what's best for him. I know ultimately that will be what's best for me as well. I think he needs to work for a nonprofit, do he can dedicate his time to this and make $ for his ego (cause it hurt shim when he doesn't make enough). Then draw the boundaries to be able to come home to me :p But that's his choice hahaha
"Drop it and watch. If he is sending love messages to you he's heard you, knows you're pissed and wants to keep you close. If his actions change.. he's heard you and wishes to make you happy. If his actions don't change... then you have a decision to make."
Noted...
100 percent agree!
Honestly, I really do love him, and want what's best for him. I know ultimately that will be what's best for me as well. I think he needs to work for a nonprofit, do he can dedicate his time to this and make $ for his ego (cause it hurt shim when he doesn't make enough). Then draw the boundaries to be able to come home to me :p But that's his choice hahaha
"Drop it and watch. If he is sending love messages to you he's heard you, knows you're pissed and wants to keep you close. If his actions change.. he's heard you and wishes to make you happy. If his actions don't change... then you have a decision to make."
Noted...
Posted by Impulsv
Offer solutions like "In the future if she asks for a favor from u I'm going to say we can't we have other plans because we do"
Oh trust me, I already nipped this in the bud. That girl won't do it again, and the other one from previous issues stood down too. Him lacking boundaries though and being selfless, seems to draw in selfish people also lacking boundaries..so I'm sure it will just pop up with someone else anyways.
I also agree that finding a middle ground is very important
Her exact words were, "I don't need him for anything else."
What a bitxh....
I was like, "I don't appreciate how you said that, but anyways.."
What a bitxh....
I was like, "I don't appreciate how you said that, but anyways.."
Posted by TaurusLovesScorpio
Whoever said it is about perspective nailed it. To you its bad boundaries and enabling. To him, he's being self-sacrificial, putting others before himself. A spiritually evolved Taurus has a heart of gold and is very much like a child. We don't care if someone takes advantage of us if we're doing a good deed. We won't stand for it over and over, but we know, from a karmic standpoint, it will all settle out, and its the motives and intentions of our own heart that are important.
This is how he sees things. His words: "If I'm helping someone, how could that ever be bad?"
I don't think enabling bratty personalities is good...I'm a tough love person. That's how people learn to stand on their feet. You can't save anyone. He has a special heart, and I could see his calling helping people that are really in need, but only in an organized organization- he's lacking organizational skills big time.
Are we seeing my virgo bits come out?
I'm sure he doesn't appreciate my criticisms, but it's all true!!!!
Posted by shellshocker
I think Taurus influenced people really have to make their own decisions. My baby has a Taurus Moon. They will hear you.. sometimes silently and sometimes with defence... then go away and mull things over but you won't know what he's decided until he shows you with his actions.
^LOL
Posted by Impulsv
Well it sounds then that u just need to trust that he'll learn u. That fact is that even in Leo n Leo the other won't do or say things as one wants 100 percent. It's time for u to have a discussion how to find a middle ground with difference. U are right in ur perception n he is right in his. Just figure a way to find that middle ground. Ull be fine🙂
Thanks. Gotta tell ya Implusv, always like your 'energy' 🙂
I APPRECIATE ALL THE ADVICE HERE!
Really great stuff.
Big lion hug
LOLOL!!!!!!!!!!!!
I've thought that...and then I realized, if confronted with myself, we'd fight to the death and that would be the end of it.
I've thought that...and then I realized, if confronted with myself, we'd fight to the death and that would be the end of it.
Posted by anonymousheart
It sounds a bit silly: My guy is too giving.
Pales in comparison to: My guy cheats, or beats the shit out of me...
But something inside me just goes off and says THIS IS NOT RIGHT!!!!! (for me)
What's not right? The situation or relationship?
Get to the bottom of that feeling. You probably don't trust him how you think you do.
LOL....this is all part of what a harem looks like with the "good guy" Taurus.
Mhm....
Well, Here is the poem I sent him a week ago:
Did you know how much I love you?
Like wind falling over cedars.
Like snowy mountain peaks.
Like the first flower of spring.
In case you didn't know,
I just want to share one thing,
I love you from the most cavernous depths of my heart,
So much so, that it completes my very essence.
And I can only hope that this will be enough to keep you happy,
For many lifetimes to come??_
He's cleverly responded YESTERDAY (us not talking) with this via email:
Did you know how much I love you?
I love you as cedars holding up the wind from touching the cold ground
I love you as snow that covers the mountains to keep them safe and warm
I love you as the sun giving the light to the blooming flower of spring
In case I wasn't born,
I just want to share my living being,
I love you as everything that has ability to heal from outside into within
I love you as you are, as this moment is keen
In sentimental feeling for someone who is a dream
A tendency of savory can be destroyed with mold
Shake off these old impressions made
I love you to unfold...
Well, Here is the poem I sent him a week ago:
Did you know how much I love you?
Like wind falling over cedars.
Like snowy mountain peaks.
Like the first flower of spring.
In case you didn't know,
I just want to share one thing,
I love you from the most cavernous depths of my heart,
So much so, that it completes my very essence.
And I can only hope that this will be enough to keep you happy,
For many lifetimes to come??_
He's cleverly responded YESTERDAY (us not talking) with this via email:
Did you know how much I love you?
I love you as cedars holding up the wind from touching the cold ground
I love you as snow that covers the mountains to keep them safe and warm
I love you as the sun giving the light to the blooming flower of spring
In case I wasn't born,
I just want to share my living being,
I love you as everything that has ability to heal from outside into within
I love you as you are, as this moment is keen
In sentimental feeling for someone who is a dream
A tendency of savory can be destroyed with mold
Shake off these old impressions made
I love you to unfold...
Posted by lnana04Posted by anonymousheart
It sounds a bit silly: My guy is too giving.
Pales in comparison to: My guy cheats, or beats the shit out of me...
But something inside me just goes off and says THIS IS NOT RIGHT!!!!! (for me)
What's not right? The situation or relationship?
Get to the bottom of that feeling. You probably don't trust him how you think you do.click to expand
His need to be needed....
I trust him to not love anyone else.
I don't trust him to manage his life, or not be led by a bad person. I DO trust that he is protected by god because he is such a pure spirit.
he seems like a good guy to the core but he is also a COMPLETE pushover. He was "frustratingly trying to defend himself" because he doesnt want things like that to effect his special bond with you. I think its just who he is, good-guy-but-a-pushover.
"Trouble is he's like a homing beacon for master manipulators. I think he likes it though." hmmmm....Does he have a lot of air placements in his chart? Or maybe dominant planet is in an air placement? I have moon+sun in gemini which frankly (once you get to know me personally) makes me a people pleaser (sometimes to ppl idek) and a pushover according to my close-friends and family who are out to bi+ch slap anyone who wants to manipulate me lol its cute 🙂 BUT its not to the extent where im making another man's bed (even if we are close friends)unless he is my man!! (SOOO thankful to my venus aries, mercury taurus and aquarius rising).
"Trouble is he's like a homing beacon for master manipulators. I think he likes it though." hmmmm....Does he have a lot of air placements in his chart? Or maybe dominant planet is in an air placement? I have moon+sun in gemini which frankly (once you get to know me personally) makes me a people pleaser (sometimes to ppl idek) and a pushover according to my close-friends and family who are out to bi+ch slap anyone who wants to manipulate me lol its cute 🙂 BUT its not to the extent where im making another man's bed (even if we are close friends)unless he is my man!! (SOOO thankful to my venus aries, mercury taurus and aquarius rising).
and nay to the silent treatment, you cant really punish him for who he is......
Moon in Libra...both of us.
Okay, I guess no silent treatment, but I do need space to get my head on straight.
And then it's time to a) decide or b) come up with solutions together in a state of calm.
It has taken me like 3 days to almost calm down!Almost..
And yea he's a good guy. At least that's what he wants everyone to think right 🙂
Okay, I guess no silent treatment, but I do need space to get my head on straight.
And then it's time to a) decide or b) come up with solutions together in a state of calm.
It has taken me like 3 days to almost calm down!Almost..
And yea he's a good guy. At least that's what he wants everyone to think right 🙂
Posted by anonymousheartPosted by lnana04Posted by anonymousheart
It sounds a bit silly: My guy is too giving.
Pales in comparison to: My guy cheats, or beats the shit out of me...
But something inside me just goes off and says THIS IS NOT RIGHT!!!!! (for me)
What's not right? The situation or relationship?
Get to the bottom of that feeling. You probably don't trust him how you think you do.
His need to be needed....
I trust him to not love anyone else.
I don't trust him to manage his life, or not be led by a bad person. I DO trust that he is protected by god because he is such a pure spirit.click to expand
it reads as if you think he is a bit naive. why does his "pure spirit" and innocence frustrate you in the way that it does? i wouldn't say you come off as angry, but irritated and often at your wits end with this relationship. where do you think those emotions come from? you don't have to answer that, but his pull from you seems opposite of who he is or represents. why i wonder?? is it you are him..
but i understand where you come from here. "I don't trust him to manage his life, or not be led by a bad person" i have similar thoughts/feelings with my taurus friend. maybe its because he's young? i often wonder if he's capable of being loyal in the way i'd need because of that naivete...for some reason i think he'd be easily influenced. it could just be my insecurity, who knows. just make sure you really trust him. trust issues could be the root of it all. i wish you luck!
Just called him. His tone was...a bit cold. Polite. Impersonal.
I was surprise. Expected him to be happy to talk to me.
He is busy, and I am about to be busy so we agreed to talk later. Guess we will see : /
I was surprise. Expected him to be happy to talk to me.
He is busy, and I am about to be busy so we agreed to talk later. Guess we will see : /
Inana: Yes, he's young. yes he's naive. 😢
He really throws my balance off right as I'm regaining it.
Oh well, off to class to do something I LOVE!
He really throws my balance off right as I'm regaining it.
Oh well, off to class to do something I LOVE!
Love poems are nice, but you could try a "tough love" poem like this....
I can't sit calmly for this sitcom.
Its just another tiresome rerun.
Your good deeds are all for females...
I know a harem when I see one.
If you serve them, I will burn them.
If around your office desk they lurk,
I will burn them where you work.
If you give vagrants food to eat,
I will burn them in the streets.
Even for a Sunday act of service,
I will burn them in the churches.
You'll see your kindest acts of caring
only keep the fire truck??s sirens blaring
I'm the candle to the dress,
of your damsel in distress.
And If you choose to build them beds
I'll top the pillars with their heads.
I can't sit calmly for this sitcom.
Its just another tiresome rerun.
Your good deeds are all for females...
I know a harem when I see one.
If you serve them, I will burn them.
If around your office desk they lurk,
I will burn them where you work.
If you give vagrants food to eat,
I will burn them in the streets.
Even for a Sunday act of service,
I will burn them in the churches.
You'll see your kindest acts of caring
only keep the fire truck??s sirens blaring
I'm the candle to the dress,
of your damsel in distress.
And If you choose to build them beds
I'll top the pillars with their heads.
Maybe finish with....
I know you bulls just love to build,
but my Sun is placed in Leo.
So the only things worth building,
are cathedrals for my ego.
I know you bulls just love to build,
but my Sun is placed in Leo.
So the only things worth building,
are cathedrals for my ego.
hahaha.
Anonymous,
I think you are too jealous to this Scorpio lady. I am aware that your Taurus young boy is good.
My ex Taurus man too... just keep it light. It's suffocating to him and set his boundaries because
you hurt his ego. It will never be the same again.
Just keep it cool.
UPDATE:
My family and I lived in his condo. I just kept the situation harmoniously, and obviously he still
cares for me and I don't like to salvage the mutual understanding we have even if it is unspoken.
Yesterday, as we arrived in the airport he kept sending messages and prepared our food.
and last night he looked at me, held my face and said; You looked so tired... I just smiled.
I know his actions does speaks volume..lol
and He gave me money again even I don't need it. He knows I am financially stable and have stable job.
I was teasing him that he purchased me. lol
I guess we have to change the way we think about a person. We cannot change them and that is beyond
our control. We can only change the way we think about them and accepting them.
Whoever said it is about perspective nailed it. To you its bad boundaries and enabling. To him, he's being self-sacrificial, putting others before himself. A spiritually evolved Taurus has a heart of gold and is very much like a child. We don't care if someone takes advantage of us if we're doing a good deed. We won't stand for it over and over, but we know, from a karmic standpoint, it will all settle out, and its the motives and intentions of our own heart that are important.
It seems you have a set way of living life (tough love) and he has a set way of living his life (giving to others and helping out). What the problem here is you stressing out over his way of life when it has got nothing to do with you or anyone else. There is a problem when a person starts stressing over another to the point of no return and this is one of those times.
Yeh dont get all churchy on me neither coz god aint got nothing to do with this so dont bring him into your situation. Seems like this has been created coz you like to control people and have them do what you want without regard or respect to their way of living.
He likes to help others and gets hurt because of it, tough love would be to firstly realise what this is and take a step back to make him responsible for his own actions even though he gets hurt which he will (thats a part of learning and walking the path) this also it will help both of you to take responsiblity for your own actions.
He might have to walk that path to learn what he has to and by you not allowing this to happen is hindering his ability to learn the way he must.
If you get hurt enough times you tend to learn how people really are, he is still on his journey and your impeding his learning. This is what it sounds like.
I do understand you would like for him to understand this and I am sure he does, its just that he may need to learn a different way and this is why you are arguing over this.
The way he has to learn is causing you unwanted stress and this isnt good for you at all, can there be any other way of helping you to see this may be the way he has to do this to learn what he has to?
It seems you have a set way of living life (tough love) and he has a set way of living his life (giving to others and helping out). What the problem here is you stressing out over his way of life when it has got nothing to do with you or anyone else. There is a problem when a person starts stressing over another to the point of no return and this is one of those times.
Yeh dont get all churchy on me neither coz god aint got nothing to do with this so dont bring him into your situation. Seems like this has been created coz you like to control people and have them do what you want without regard or respect to their way of living.
He likes to help others and gets hurt because of it, tough love would be to firstly realise what this is and take a step back to make him responsible for his own actions even though he gets hurt which he will (thats a part of learning and walking the path) this also it will help both of you to take responsiblity for your own actions.
He might have to walk that path to learn what he has to and by you not allowing this to happen is hindering his ability to learn the way he must.
If you get hurt enough times you tend to learn how people really are, he is still on his journey and your impeding his learning. This is what it sounds like.
I do understand you would like for him to understand this and I am sure he does, its just that he may need to learn a different way and this is why you are arguing over this.
The way he has to learn is causing you unwanted stress and this isnt good for you at all, can there be any other way of helping you to see this may be the way he has to do this to learn what he has to?
TO TLS:
Due to all the bait and switches,
Your poetry has me in stitches,
You probably don't even know it,
But you should quit your day job,
And become a breakup poet!
Hey Clueless,
Make up your damn mind! :p
M143:
Idk what it is about you that just read so hilarious. You've got spunk. But NO I'm definitely NOT jealous of the Scorpio LOL. I wake up every day and thank god I'm not her..what a mess. Thanks for the update! Good luck. And buy some shoes with that money haha
NOTYOURTYPE:
That's a really interesting article! Thank you. You know it's funny bc ppl like him, and narcissists fit together like puzzle pieces. You are definitely onto something. Good to see you around again (: Have you spoke to your Tauri?
Due to all the bait and switches,
Your poetry has me in stitches,
You probably don't even know it,
But you should quit your day job,
And become a breakup poet!
Hey Clueless,
Make up your damn mind! :p
M143:
Idk what it is about you that just read so hilarious. You've got spunk. But NO I'm definitely NOT jealous of the Scorpio LOL. I wake up every day and thank god I'm not her..what a mess. Thanks for the update! Good luck. And buy some shoes with that money haha
NOTYOURTYPE:
That's a really interesting article! Thank you. You know it's funny bc ppl like him, and narcissists fit together like puzzle pieces. You are definitely onto something. Good to see you around again (: Have you spoke to your Tauri?
MFWB:
I understand where you are coming from with that first paragraph. But I can feel and see that something is wrong. But yes, we have different ways with people, and different opinions as well. And I am taking on more than I probably should. LOL @ churchy. Because I mention god I'm churchy? Sorry, but god is in every situation in my life. So I will happily bring him into this. But that's really quite off topic. I don't like to control people, I find it draining. So let's clarify that, but still, I obviously have controlling qualities to me. I have set standards. I do know what I want. But I can happily be without them all the same. I'm not really sure that's controlling. But I feel a supreme lack of control in a few other areas of my life, which I think is why I have the reins too tight here. I'm trying to balance, but it's just all a mess. And that isn't true that I don't respect people and their way of living. On the contrary, I want what's best for him and everyone. I genuinely want ppl to be happy, which is why I am trying to figure this out, because if it isn't fixable, or workoutable, I would like to move on. I do not like fighting with someone I love and care about. I'm trying to figure out, would we be happier apart? If I decide this, I would easily grant that. And letting go is, in fact, the opposite of control.
How do I make him responsible for his actions? I will admit, I HONESTLY don't know the right, mature way to handle this. I go to one extreme. I either blow up, or disappear and get icy. I don't even know what the most low drama way to handle it is. But I really do want to learn, because my habits are not successful or productive. They??re just bad habits. So , what would you suggest specifically?
I don't think I'm impeding his learning, I'm raising valid issues, but I'm impeded some success with this negativity. And he for me as well. It's distracting. And that is bad.
—Can there be any other way of helping you to see this may be the way he has to do this to learn what he has to— What do you mean? This seems vague. Do you mean, us breaking up is the way he learns? We spoke last night, and he expressed he needs more time to think and understand. He has stepped outside of emotions because he has other priorities, I understand this, and I want him to succeed, but patience is not my strong suite.
I understand where you are coming from with that first paragraph. But I can feel and see that something is wrong. But yes, we have different ways with people, and different opinions as well. And I am taking on more than I probably should. LOL @ churchy. Because I mention god I'm churchy? Sorry, but god is in every situation in my life. So I will happily bring him into this. But that's really quite off topic. I don't like to control people, I find it draining. So let's clarify that, but still, I obviously have controlling qualities to me. I have set standards. I do know what I want. But I can happily be without them all the same. I'm not really sure that's controlling. But I feel a supreme lack of control in a few other areas of my life, which I think is why I have the reins too tight here. I'm trying to balance, but it's just all a mess. And that isn't true that I don't respect people and their way of living. On the contrary, I want what's best for him and everyone. I genuinely want ppl to be happy, which is why I am trying to figure this out, because if it isn't fixable, or workoutable, I would like to move on. I do not like fighting with someone I love and care about. I'm trying to figure out, would we be happier apart? If I decide this, I would easily grant that. And letting go is, in fact, the opposite of control.
How do I make him responsible for his actions? I will admit, I HONESTLY don't know the right, mature way to handle this. I go to one extreme. I either blow up, or disappear and get icy. I don't even know what the most low drama way to handle it is. But I really do want to learn, because my habits are not successful or productive. They??re just bad habits. So , what would you suggest specifically?
I don't think I'm impeding his learning, I'm raising valid issues, but I'm impeded some success with this negativity. And he for me as well. It's distracting. And that is bad.
—Can there be any other way of helping you to see this may be the way he has to do this to learn what he has to— What do you mean? This seems vague. Do you mean, us breaking up is the way he learns? We spoke last night, and he expressed he needs more time to think and understand. He has stepped outside of emotions because he has other priorities, I understand this, and I want him to succeed, but patience is not my strong suite.
"Basically, my Taurus is having BOUNDARIES issues with other friends, always women, in his life. He keeps being a total sucker and overextending himself. I just watched a supposed friend of mine manipulate him in my own home into single handedly building her bed for a total of 8 hours. "
1) Is she your friend or his friend? 2) Was she his friend first and now (also) yours?
If #1, you need to have a talk with her not with him. He was showing loyalty to YOU if he was doing something for YOUR friend. She's the one with boundary issues in this case.
If #2, not sure I'd personally consider her a friend. She's his friend and potentially deals with you being around just because she's loyal to him. Given the choice in the future, she will choose him over you and if you push him, he may choose her over you.
He's going to have to reach his own conclusion on this one. Bulls, what if she was honest and told him how this is hurting her to see him focus so much energy away from their relationship? Would that be a good or bad thing at this point? Make him see her as needy and clingy?
Tell him you appreciate that he has a heart the size of Texas. Suggest that the two of you could start volunteering somewhere in the new year, to spend time together AND contribute to making the world a better place. Then he subtly gets to see what the non-profit world is like from the inside and decide for himself if he wants to move in that direction.
1) Is she your friend or his friend? 2) Was she his friend first and now (also) yours?
If #1, you need to have a talk with her not with him. He was showing loyalty to YOU if he was doing something for YOUR friend. She's the one with boundary issues in this case.
If #2, not sure I'd personally consider her a friend. She's his friend and potentially deals with you being around just because she's loyal to him. Given the choice in the future, she will choose him over you and if you push him, he may choose her over you.
He's going to have to reach his own conclusion on this one. Bulls, what if she was honest and told him how this is hurting her to see him focus so much energy away from their relationship? Would that be a good or bad thing at this point? Make him see her as needy and clingy?
Tell him you appreciate that he has a heart the size of Texas. Suggest that the two of you could start volunteering somewhere in the new year, to spend time together AND contribute to making the world a better place. Then he subtly gets to see what the non-profit world is like from the inside and decide for himself if he wants to move in that direction.
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