Taurus- Needs to be needed ?

Just trying to understand this.
Through spending more time with my guy, I noticed he has a lot of needy females around him. His mom, friends that are girls,etc. At first I felt like, poor guy..but later I was like..wait a minute, he MUST like this! He draws them in! He's a very humble soul, so this isn't an ego thing.

I started thinking, he must need to be needed. Not soon after, we had a moment of confusion and he looked at me with very sad and serious eyes and said, "Do you even need me?" I said do you need me to. He said, "Yes, I do. I need to be needed." So why do you guys need to be needed? Me personally: I'm very independent, and try not to put too much pressure on the ones I love. If anything, I want to lighten their load. Especially him, since I see he's already overloaded. I'm just trying to understand. Most guys I know would run if you were needy. I don't think he's this way. Does this make sense to ya'll?

I want to be wanted, but the needy........ I dislike people who won't take initiative and who for all intents and purposes want their hand to be held. I don't mind helping people on occasion, but some people's intelligence leaves a lot to be desired. >_>

Yeah, us taurus LOVE taking care of the ones we love. We just do.

In relationship, as a male,
I don't need to be taken cared of nor do I need much attention, but I do need to be needed (or want to be wanted)

It's weird. Probably has to do with possessiveness, but don't mistake it for manipulation.

I'm a female and even I want to be needed. I have a fundamental desire to be of service to people I love. I want them to lean on me and if my man is too independent I feel pretty useless. Want a sandwich, need me to run an errand? What can I do ?? I think it comes from feeling like you're integrated fully into a person's life only when you're let into all parts and that includes the little things, laundry, obligations, etc.

Me personally, I feel like I want to be the friend that has an open ear and a shoulder to cry on whenever no one else is there. Actually I've lost count of how much of my free time I've spent helping other friends with mundane tasks just to be there for them (doing humongous loads of laundry, cleaning their house, etc.). So long as it's every once in a while. A taurus can easily tell when he's being appreciated and when he's being taken advantage of. A lover would get the whole royal service as we practically melt into that person.

Posted by robyn808
yeah sorry I don't like the needy. I'm repulsed by it, and find it a weakness.

If your talking about just the Taurus influence. You can read that its not typical. They are dependable they will always be there, but if they feel like its being taken advantage then they will take it away.

Taurus is the builder, so they do things to set a foundation and build things up, they want to see progress for their efforts, and they don't want to spend too much time or effort into maintaining something they've already done.

So its not typical for that influences to be an enabler over long periods of time, like a Virgo influence might be.

Oh yeah, I need to double agree on this and add this to what I said.

As a Taurus,
We like to be needed in knowing we are there for you in a higher level, but not in a way that we are there to serve you. Otherwise that becomes being taken advantaged of, and that is like #1 way to bypass a bull's patience straight to the scary zone.

For ex
My friends, need me cause I am quick decision maker and good at coordinating logistics. They ask me what the gameplan is, I always have one (my way or highway though...lol stubbornness). Without me, we'd be in our rooms watching t.v all weekend. So that makes me feel needed.

But they can't ask me to spot them $ $ or do useless tasks for them, I start getting repulsed by that.

Posted by MilkySoft
I'm not surprised you see people coming to him for a lot, Taurus will have their shit together. We are often prepared, have extra money, and very reliable so generally get the reputation of the person you can "go to."

But we value hard work and we value our resources so I don't see us as being a sign that caters to needy people.

As far as guys wanting to feel needed, hell yes they do. That's my experience anyway.

It's usually women though and it's quite annoying because its usually things I think they should take care of themselves. Quite pathetic actually. He said he doesnt like that emotional pressure, but he likes that he can help.

Posted by kupochan
Me personally, I feel like I want to be the friend that has an open ear and a shoulder to cry on whenever no one else is there. Actually I've lost count of how much of my free time I've spent helping other friends with mundane tasks just to be there for them (doing humongous loads of laundry, cleaning their house, etc.). So long as it's every once in a while. A taurus can easily tell when he's being appreciated and when he's being taken advantage of. A lover would get the whole royal service as we practically melt into that person.

That's beautiful. I guess I should let him help more. He's always asking do you need help cleaning up, etc..and when I say no he props his feet up like a prince and that sometimes upsets me hahaha. Thanks for your response, it creates a clearer perspective. I do appreciate him though and he knows it.

Posted by Vainth
Yeah, us taurus LOVE taking care of the ones we love. We just do.

In relationship, as a male,
I don't need to be taken cared of nor do I need much attention, but I do need to be needed (or want to be wanted)

It's weird. Probably has to do with possessiveness, but don't mistake it for manipulation.

Is it more of a protective instinct?

The more I think about it the more I think of times he's asked, "Do you want me to pick up food for you, etc etc." But I usually say no bc I know I'm picky and don't want to trouble him. And I know he's stubborn and will try to force me to eat something I don't want to! LOL! Sigh...

I would also say, yes. I would like to know that I am needed. Not a huge fan of needy, but needed, hell yeah.

I commit and trust way to easily so knowing I am needed makes me feel that what I invested is reciprocated. I am all with Vainth, I feel the same.

I should say also... I can only commit to one person. Other would generally just exploit our generosity and then leave us to rot... Just friends, they are most likely not a single thing more than that. Knowing how easily woman friendzone a guy who gives them exactly what they want without commitment...

No way. Wanted, yes, needed, no. People easily mix up the two either way. If it was a lover though, I wouldn't be so sure. I'd probably feel flattered if they needed me here and there, depends on what kind of need though. I think I'd like the need to be mutual in some cases. Than it would be alright.

Needyness freaks me out. I guess he wants to feel like the man and like he can help me out in some way. I'm pretty sure if I was needy he would run away. Maybe even he doesn't get the point of that word. English is not his first language 😉

Posted by Theatrum
No way. Wanted, yes, needed, no. People easily mix up the two either way. If it was a lover though, I wouldn't be so sure. I'd probably feel flattered if they needed me here and there, depends on what kind of need though. I think I'd like the need to be mutual in some cases. Than it would be alright.

hmmmmm so standards for lovers are way different?

Great thread by the way. I do think taurus men wants to be needed or wanted. I as a female often want to reach out to the ones in need ESP the ones I care for. It must be my secrety possessive nature. I sense that a bit from a bull too. I do think he secrety desire women who is independent but dependent on him when around him as he likes to lead and even try to help me make the bed a few times not that I needed him to really. Again it could be his leo moon. I do like to be needed when they are truly in need . I run from those who are simply just needy and can't put their life together .

Posted by anonymousheart

Posted by Theatrum
No way. Wanted, yes, needed, no. People easily mix up the two either way. If it was a lover though, I wouldn't be so sure. I'd probably feel flattered if they needed me here and there, depends on what kind of need though. I think I'd like the need to be mutual in some cases. Than it would be alright.

hmmmmm so standards for lovers are way different?

click to expand

In my case, yeah, I think so. Though my Venus is in the 11th house so the lover would also be qualified as a good friend. I wouldn't want him to feel privileged to any other good friend of mine, but in the reality of my mind, he would have privileges such as needing me, mostly emotionally. I just wouldn't want him to know it. I think it's an Aquarius Moon thing.

Ok, I subtly hinted that I need water in the middle of the night and let him get up and get it for me. I hope he feels needed now. I on the other hand feel hydrated and slightly lazy 😉

Posted by SunTauVenGem
Great thread by the way. I do think taurus men wants to be needed or wanted. I as a female often want to reach out to the ones in need ESP the ones I care for. It must be my secrety possessive nature. I sense that a bit from a bull too. I do think he secrety desire women who is independent but dependent on him when around him as he likes to lead and even try to help me make the bed a few times not that I needed him to really. Again it could be his leo moon. I do like to be needed when they are truly in need . I run from those who are simply just needy and can't put their life together .

Thank you. 🙂 It's something truly unique I'm coming to see about Taurus. And also really interesting because I do consider ya'll to be strong and independent. I can see how it would be a big compliment to him to have an independent woman rely on him. This would suggest trust and an active choice to do so. But all things in due time. I essentially conveyed to him that he needs to man up and show me he can be needed in order for me to do so..and trust in the sequence of my unveiling as well.

Do I love to be needed?

No.

For me, my actions are instinctual, not mechanical. I'm an emotionally strong, and capable individual.
I have no time for pesty whiners, unresolved issues or dilemmas, laziness, fiscal irresponsibility, carelessness or no structured resolution.

For everything I detest...I fix!

Why?

Because it's an innate trait in me to take on that burden.

People will exploit those qualities. This is when love transforms itself to a feeling of resentment.

A strong partner will reciprocate and appreciate those qualities.

A weak partner will be an anchor..a leech...will 'mooch' off its host until the Bull's horns are at command, and they will be given the HOOF!

I'm no one's Mama.

^You just summed up how I feel in that last line...and I'm not a Taurus.

Thank you. 🙂 It's something truly unique I'm coming to see about Taurus. And also really interesting because I do consider ya'll to be strong and independent. I can see how it would be a big compliment to him to have an independent woman rely on him. This would suggest trust and an active choice to do so. But all things in due time. I essentially conveyed to him that he needs to man up and show me he can be needed in order for me to do so..and trust in the sequence of my unveiling as well.

m giggling a bit when you mentioned water. He often ask me if I want some water everytime he gets out of bed.. I always say yes and I know he loves doing it. . the problem with us being long distance is he can't offer me those services and I think its killing him slowly.. He opens the door for me.. Pull the chair out for me.. Help me make the bed.. Him being Leo moon and me being aqua moon is great.. He makes me feel special while I sometime treat him like an equal:p ??there are people in his life who are emotionally draining him including a few of his ex girlfriends. To be honest I think he secretly like it at first because he can be of service and it makes him feel loved but after sometimes he gets so tired of it and leave them.. 🙂

"Me personally I don't necessarily have to be wanted nor needed but if you involve in me parts of your life where you feel unsure and ask for my help that makes me feel valuable. As though you respect me and my opinion enough to consult me before you do something or just generally want me to be there for you, I like that. It makes me feel closer to the person I'm with."

Super helpful Slicks. Thank you.

Posted by SunTauVenGem

Thank you. 🙂 It's something truly unique I'm coming to see about Taurus. And also really interesting because I do consider ya'll to be strong and independent. I can see how it would be a big compliment to him to have an independent woman rely on him. This would suggest trust and an active choice to do so. But all things in due time. I essentially conveyed to him that he needs to man up and show me he can be needed in order for me to do so..and trust in the sequence of my unveiling as well.

m giggling a bit when you mentioned water. He often ask me if I want some water everytime he gets out of bed.. I always say yes and I know he loves doing it. . the problem with us being long distance is he can't offer me those services and I think its killing him slowly.. He opens the door for me.. Pull the chair out for me.. Help me make the bed.. Him being Leo moon and me being aqua moon is great.. He makes me feel special while I sometime treat him like an equal:p ??there are people in his life who are emotionally draining him including a few of his ex girlfriends. To be honest I think he secretly like it at first because he can be of service and it makes him feel loved but after sometimes he gets so tired of it and leave them.. 🙂

HAHA, actually someone on this thread at the beginning said something about getting someone water..so when I was having a coughing fit last night, I was like what the heck..get me some water HAHAHA!!! He always hangs up towels super neat. I'm sure he would make the bed if suggested. That's really sweet. I think you're right about draining ppl. mine is the same. HE MUST secretly like it, bc there are too many of them surrounding him for him not to! But he doesn't *love* it and it's not sustainable. They need to realize that on their own!

morning...bump