Just A Scorpio on a Taurus Rant :|

Okay so, hi there!

This post is just a Scorpio ranting about her Taurus friend and how things got really messed up a few days ago. I'm sorry for wasting space but people on this community are always so helpful so I decided to come here 🙂

Okay, let's focus on the key players here - me, 20 year old Scorp female and my friend, 20 year old Taurus male. I met him about a year ago. We are both shy, introverted individuals so we didn't get talking till about 6 months after we met. We just had a lot of common friends.. you know, like a group of about 10 people and the 10 of us would always hang out together. So for 6 months it was just casual greetings and maybe a small conversation then and now. Around January, we started talking more mostly because I felt comfortable in his company and we did have a lot of common classes. So I guess you could say that's when we started being friends.

Fast forward to March, and I'd say we are pretty good friends now. Like we text each other and hang out, just the two of us. He'd tease me and came up with a nickname for me and I did the same so yeah we were becoming good friends. Things were great, we texted over the summer break and talked about the most random stuff. Like a typical Taurus, he would get into these mood swings and I would ask him what's wrong. Sometimes he'd say that he is fine and just needed some time alone but other times he would take his frustration out on me.

Contd.:

He would ask me to leave him alone and sometimes be just plain rude. The first few times I was angry because I thought it was unfair you know, but then I got the hang of it. He always apologized whenever he would be rude to me. Then, in April I think, I was going through a tough time and was sad and depressed. He found out and asked me what's wrong. I'm not the kind of person who discusses personal issues with friends so I said that nothing is wrong. My refusal angered him and he said that never again should I ask him what's wrong when he is sad for if I can't open up to him neither will he. Anywho, I did end up telling him the entire thing and I also told him that he was the first person I'd ever discussed stuff with.

I mention this event because it's important. You'll see why. A few days ago, he went into one of his moods and I tried to cheer him up. For the past two months we'd ended up spending all of our time together - we would sit in class together, have meals together... you get the drift. So anyway I kept asking him what was wrong and he just ignored me to my face while being completely normal with everyone else. That hurt me.

Contd. later.

I figured that he must be upset so I didn't say anything to him. Later that night he sent me a text saying that it's normal for him to be that way when he just doesn't want to talk to people and that I should not get angry/hurt when he does that. I replied saying that if he didn't want to talk to anyone he shouldn't have been normal with other people.

So the next day we go to class, I sit next to him but I'm quiet because I'm still hurt (yeah, sensitive Scorp here 😛). All day he asked me what's wrong and what it is he did that's making me this way. I told him it's nothing but by the end of the day HE was so sad and depressed about me being sad and quiet (I swear to God he almost cried out of guilt), that I finally told him what was going on and what I was feeling. We sorted things out, or so I thought.

The nest day everything is fine all morning but then he makes movie plans with a few friends and I tell them that I want to come along too. They decide to go without me anyway. I wasn't really that affected but I did call all of them an ass, you know, in a light hearted way. Once again, he asked me what's wrong and I said nothing's wrong. I didn't want him to be depressed especially since what had happened the night before. I didn't want him to feel guilty and beat himself up over such a small issue. He asked me twice and both times I tell him things are okay but he just gives me a cold stare and walks off. I follow him but he looks right through me. I don't know what to do.

Contd:

So I just go home. Later that night he confronts me over text about what my problem is and tells me things like maybe it's his mistake to ask me what's wrong and promises never to do that again. I don't know what to say at this point. I didn't tell him because I didn't want to hurt him but he sounds hurt anyway. I try to explain things but then he drops the bomb... "Let's just go back to the way we were before January" - this is what he says.

After a night of crying I go to class the next morning. He walks in and sits with someone else. Mid-day he texts me asking if we could at least talk because we used to talk in January. At that point I felt totally not valued. I mean, how can you just ask a friend to stop being friends? There were so many instances when he was rude and acted out and I could have told him the same thing but I didn't. Because that's what friends do, they stick with you through everything. He says that when I am sad he thinks about it too much and he doesn't want that. I tell him that he is not the only one who cares, I care too you know. Of course I do, I care about my friends. That doesn't mean I suggest things to stop caring for them. That's not fair.

At this point another friend intervenes and wants us to talk it out but he doesn't show up and I don't really look forward to it either. Later that evening, we do meet (thanks to the friend, again) and he tells me (through a lot of tears) that he just causes me a lot of pain, so much pain that I cry all night and he doesn't want that. So he wants to go back to January when we were not this close.

Contd.:

He also says that if I keep getting hurt he thinks he will lose me. So I tell him (at this point I'm crying too. Yeah so much emotion) that just because things he does made me sad at one point doesn't mean that I'm going somewhere. The conversation has a lot of references to previous events between us and every single time he kept blaming himself for anything bad that happened to me. And he took it hard... called himself selfish and other more abusive names.

It's obvious that we've both caused each other a lot of pain. We both apologized to each other and I promised I wouldn't ever cry again.And though he doesn't want to go back to the way we were before January and wants everything to be normal, I can feel it in my heart that there will always be a certain hindrance on his part this point onwards. He won't open up to me the way he used to. And I don't think I can either, because I've seen what my opening up to him can do to him. And that's not what I want. I don't want to hurt him ever. I think I won't ever forget how much I affected his emotions and how brutal it was on him.

So now it's like building something again with a person whom I've shared one of my deepest secrets with. And I don't know, but if things don't feel right I might never forgive myself. Oh Taurus, why must you do this? 😢

And you're not fucking him?

This is classic Taurus/Scorpio. It goes from 0-60 intensity level I'm the blink of an eye, and our moods are interconnected to the point you lose control over it. And each one realizes this and struggles to pull it back but its just out of their hands. Its tough finding a balance, its either really great or really tough. And it takes time, and commitment and perseverance.

I can totally understand the Taurus self-blaming, we tend to be martyrs when we realize we've hurt someone because we don't want it to continue.

Its going to take a lot of work all the time. But I'd you think it's worth it and the bad doesnt supremely outweigh the bad, then be prepared for the ups and downs. It WILL be worth it as long as you don't lose yourself along the way. Good luck! _—

Posted by phEnyxBull876
This is classic Taurus/Scorpio. It goes from 0-60 intensity level I'm the blink of an eye, and our moods are interconnected to the point you lose control over it. And each one realizes this and struggles to pull it back but its just out of their hands. Its tough finding a balance, its either really great or really tough. And it takes time, and commitment and perseverance.

I can totally understand the Taurus self-blaming, we tend to be martyrs when we realize we've hurt someone because we don't want it to continue.

Its going to take a lot of work all the time. But I'd you think it's worth it and the bad doesnt supremely outweigh the bad, then be prepared for the ups and downs. It WILL be worth it as long as you don't lose yourself along the way. Good luck! _—

It was going really great till the incident that happened a few days ago. Now, I don't know how things will pan out although he did promise it'll go back to normal. I'll just learn in time I guess. And thanks for the good luck wish 🙂

Posted by Astrobyn
And you're not fucking him?

If you mean what I think you mean, NO. We're just friends who care about each other. 🙂

@jeannegrey Oh goodness me. Hahahahahahaha! It's possible to love a male friend without actually being in love with him, isn't it? 😉 And seriously though, just friends.

What else could I mean? its a pretty straight forward question.

I think you guys are putting way more emotional stress and expectations on each other for the type of relationship you have. If you do not see relationship having the romantic potential, then you need to decide what is appropriated.

Easiest way to decide that, is to think... if either one of you were in a romantic relationship with someone else, would your behavior and emotion investment be appropriate? And if you had a boyfriend, I would flat out tell you, no this is not appropriate.

And he's absolutely doing the right thing by wanting to dial back the intensity of your relationship. And I think your using him as a crutch, a pretend boyfriend... an outlet for things you want to express and experience. So maybe it is time you find a real boyfriend. Or stop pretending that you are just friends, be honest with yourself and fully give into what you are feeling and doing with him.

O__________O



Wow. Hmmm, well. Ouch. Let me just put it all on the table here. As level-headed individuals, he and I never indulge in any kind of inappropriate physical behaviour. It is a respectful relationship. Our wavelengths seem to match and we just get each other. When you spend so much time with a person, they start affecting your emotions and as a Scorp, this happens to me a lot.

I get what you are saying, but really, it's not like I am "using" him. The time in which I have known him, I've had crushes and so has he. And, I shall stress on the fact that he wanted to dial back our relationship to stop hurting me. That proposition lasted for about a few hours after which he told me he wanted to go back to normal.

And, if either of us were in a relationship then yes, we would devote more time to our romantic interest... that comes naturally in all friendships. I will be giving less time and emotional investment to ALL my friends. Isn't that natural and not just exclusive to what I share with this Taurus?

If he got a girlfriend, I'm sure he would devote a lot of his time towards her and that would affect our relationship. So judging if our friendship is appropriate in that particular context isn't totally correct, I think.

I'm not saying your "using" him in any kind of derogatory or horrible way. This is something that happens all the time.

I'm just saying be honest with yourself about it. Because I find that when you do that, it helps put every thing in perspective.

I have had more than one relationships that fit in this category, and I also share the possessive gene. So its very easy for me without thinking about it to feel attached and also entitled to people who I'm close with. But there have been many of times, where I have had to step back and realize these feelings aren't rational or fair to the other person. (and maybe that's where he is)

I think your brushing off this boyfriend scenario, when your talking about time. Your story pretty much sets the idea that you are giving the majority of your emotional investment to this dude. Think about what issues your having with this person? Sharing feelings and getting emotionally upset about holding back feelings, and it affecting "friendship".

If you had a man, and talked to him about the problems you were having with this Taurus, there would be more than a few things he would start to question, and I think rightfully so.

And in fact is a natural biological trait for women to subconsciously use their femininity to attract and create connections with men, for protection and survival. Just as men are biologically programmed to fall for it.