Need some help with this Bull.....

'k, bear with me here....need to recap before i ask my question

was seeing this Taurus guy - first few wks were awesome, spent loads of time together (mostly initiated by him), made me feel like i was his woman (which i thot i would hate, but i loved). just when i started to feel like it was turning into a relationship...he put the brakes on.

i asked him if he was seeing other girls. he said is he's not seeing anyone seriously currently. (he didn't say yes or no, so i assumed that meant yes.) said he is enjoying our time together but he wants to take things slow, his life goes so fast that this part of it he wants to enjoy. he doesn't want to commit to anything right now.

he is very career oriented, and has a lot of ambitions. maybe that has something to do with him not wanting to get too involved right now, coz it feels like he wants to have his life in order first, before looking for someone to share it with. since our first few weeks were pretty intense think that he realized it was getting too serious too quick and this was not part of the plan.

so we saw each other less frequently before he left for a month. he's due back Labour Day. before he left he said he'll see me when he gets back, and all i said was, have a great trip. he said, be good, and i said have a great trip. i didn't want any broken promises, and figured that if that's where things ended, then i enjoyed our time together, had a lot of great memories, and thanks for letting me know what i want. what i want is what we had, before he put the brakes on.

so here's my question - i'm torn between 2 options. IF he contacts me when he gets back:

Option 1: keep things the way they are for a few months to see if anything changes, then end it if it doesn't

Option 2: tell him that i have no problem taking things slow, but not casual. i want us to be exclusive.

seems like Option 1 is the slow death option, but don't want to kick myself later for not giving it a chance. the 2nd option feels like an ultimatum and should be prepared to lose him now. at least it won't hurt as much.

i was going to do the wait and see what happens, but now that the time is getting closer i feel the need to be prepared.

sorry for the long story, but could really use some input, especially from taurus males. thanks in advance 🙂

Not a taurus male but offering a taurus female perspective

I say go for option 2
Let him know how much u are into him and that u want this to work out at his pace. You need to make him feel that he has some measure of control in the relationship otherwise he may freak out and run. This can also happen if u start getting to possessive or clingy.He knows that u both had a great time so let him do the approaching now.

Also option 2 is better since u are obviously stating the truth here and that mostly works out for the best!

My experience with the bull I am dating right now is about the same as yours. We hung out for a while and he was calling me and pursuing me constantly. Then when I started to feel all comfy he also put the brakes on and it feels as he is taking his time for everything.

I think these bull guys are very possessive and lazy. In other words, In his mind, I am already his and he is not going to work any harder anymore. So I think the option 2 works because it will show him u are interested and are not playing games with him, it also saves you from future heart pains...

Oh and if he is really into you, it gives him full CONTROL over you... which they love.

"I think these bull guys are very possessive and lazy. In other words, In his mind, I am already his and he is not going to work any harder anymore."

- Nooooo! Maybe in an established relationship... sometimes... hmmmm? No... we get scarrrrrred 😢 I'm a femme but I do know that I jump right in there because I like the person and then *screeeeeeeeeech* "Hmmmm HE'S going too fast" yeah I know, when I've been flirting and showing lots of interest too but then that uneasiness jusssssst... yikes... you start thinking and doubting and want to think things through AFTER all that initial excitement and they keep calling and the pressure and the uncertainty and and and...

...Usually they catch on, back off a bit and it turns out we kinda miss you soooooooooo we'll eventually contact you again OR (me, girl) answer calls and accept dates again.

I don't think it's necessarily the thought of a relationship that makes us uneasy, it's really when the other person starts being serious about "US" that throws us off. I think that maybe we approach it too lightheartedly without really analyzing where it's going...? All I know is that I don't like "relationship talk" I HATE IT. It's heading somewhere, if you start acting like a couple, the bull will confirm the obvious at some point. THEN you can talk "couple talk" ha hah 😛

After so much hanging out or even talking I start showing signs of jealousy because 1. I can't help it lol I'm your damn typical possessive bull alright! 2. What are you expecting? We've been hanging out and I EVEN turned down dates because I'm thinking of you... dammit. 3. You're mine... If he doesn't call me on it (which has never happened) then I'd ask him out (if I was a guy! lol)

Let it flow, just let it flow... making us think about it scares us. Then you'll make it evident that we're heading for a relationship! Just trick him into it! LOL

hey, i posted a thread on this, where did it go?

Thanks to everyone for your input and advice - looks like Option 2 is the consensus, same as on the Scorp board (that's where your post is, houstonpeach). I just find it really hard to put myself out there though, and have my heart trampled on. But I guess i have a couple of weeks to prep.

RainingPeanuts(cute, lol), I was trying to decide whether I could go with the flow but since am already emotionally involved I can't seem to keep it on a casual level - it's that all or nothing thing with me. I'm ok taking things slow, but not ok w/ casual.

something that put a smile on face - he emailed me today from Tuscany. was a pleasant surprise coz i wasn't expecting him to contact me at all while he was gone.