Please help me keep my walls down with my Cap guy

Hi,

I've read a lot of postings about the Cap disappearing act or "poofing". I'm chasing him and I think he's going to let me catch him (for awhile, anyway). But, in order to get where we are I've had to become much more vulnerable than I am comfortable with - the turning point was when I asked how to earn his respect (he had blown me off the last couple times even though he had (finally) invited me to do something - before that he was responsive to my invites but never initiated). I believe, in my heart, that if I can keep my walls down he will continue to do the same. How do I, a Taurus, leave myself vulnerable long enough for him to truly trust me? I want to hang in there but I have serious internal struggles between my heart (do what it takes to give this a chance) and my head (he's hurt you, why do you do this to yourself)? Also, his 40th B-day is coming up - I'd like to get him something meaningful but not expensive - any suggestions?

Thanks for the help!!!!

Kudos to you for even wanting to be vulnerable...it's definitely not a Taurus trait. We build walls up on purpose for fear of getting hurt - that way when we do get hurt, we only have ourselves to blame.

But it sounds to me like this 40 yr old man is not willing to let his walls down for you, so why put yourself in this predicament? Trust doesn't come from you making yourself vulnerable. Making yourself purposely vulnerable only enables others to hurt you and then you can't blame them for it because you allowed yourself to be in this state.

If he's hurt you, step back and let him make the next move. The simplest of moves for us Taurus go a long way. The simplest of gestures can send us the biggest signals we need to feel secure. But if he isn't doing that right now, don't put yourself out there on the limb only to beat yourself up.

As far as a bday gift, I say just get him a birthday card - nothing too sappy, but something that makes him believe you took the time to pick out just the right card for him.

Hey houstonpeach74, thanks for the help. I think he is letting his walls down some too - it's just hard for me to be soooooooooo patient for soooooooooo looooooooong. The card is a great idea - maybe I'll add balloons😉