Taurus hot and cold...? (Page 2)

Posted by jeane

Posted by boxcarmirnta

Posted by jeane

Posted by boxcarmirnta

Posted by jeane

Posted by boxcarmirnta

Posted by jeane

Posted by boxcarmirnta

Posted by AnotherTaurusGuyReturns

Posted by boxcarmirnta
@AnotherTaurusGuyReturns i need your input!

I’d just chill and wait for him to come to you. 3 days is nothing, it doesn’t mean he doesn’t like you anymore or anything.



If you’re not happy tell him you need more communication. If he doesn’t change the rest is up to you. click to expand

IF he comes back...he goes from actually calling me several times a day...to nothing..it feels like a pretty big change. Consistency is very important to me...if he DOES come back..i will tell him its totally unacceptable to leave me hanging for days..then its up to HIM! click to expand

i agree with atgr. 3 days isn't very long. it's just something you need to talk about it.



but also these guys don't change quickly. if this is his pattern you have to be patient when trying to nudge him in another way. it takes a bit of time to form a new habit.



i suppose it depends how important it is to hear from him everyday at this stage is to you. is this the price of admission?

click to expand

good to know, thank you. Every day doesnt matter to me...but having my txt just sit there hanging for 3 days..feels really weird to me. It def seems like a pattern...he just disappears...... click to expand

it sounds like he is dealing with something else. how much do you know about the rest of his life? click to expand

i know a decent amount..i feel like if something was going he would tell me, but maybe not. I just feel his words and actions arent matching up. He wants to be serious with someone but acts like he's messing around.."shrug* he finally wrote me and i told him inconsistency wasnt for me....no response (shocker). click to expand

did he tell you why he didn't respond?



my best advice is to tell you how i would handle something like this with my partner.



a) i would first find out if everything ok. my first instinct would be to worry that something has happened.

b) next i would explain to him that i was worried about him.

c) he would likely explain the reason for the silence which i would listen to and accept as his perspective on the situation.

d) i would tell him that leaving me hanging after talking every day makes me feel insecure and a bit foolish.

e) ask him not to do that in future and if he needs a few days space just to shoot me a quick text and i won't worry.

f) not talk about it anymore (unless he wants to) as it's now forgotten and you can get onto more interesting matters.

the golden rule in this instance for me is always "seek first to understand then to be understood". in future if it happens again because i have listened to how he perceives the situation, i would be less likely to have the same reaction as the first time because i would be seeing it through his eyes.



obvs. you deal it with it the best way you feel but that is how i would treat this situation. click to expand

wow! You obviously know this situation well ! Haha...i don't feel so alone now..i think that is all good advice. When i just start dating someone though, i do assume theyre messing around cuz i just don't know em well. Also ive worried over them ' being hurt' or something wrong only to find out theyre just inconsiderate dicks. Makes me feel stupid to even ask at this point. Reassurance is important. I guess i need to know him better. He didnt tell me why he ignored me and hasnt responded, so i assume i won't hear from him again, just like i assumed before. I don't like being in that position. I don't wanna worry i wanna know he'll always respond. Consistent communication is very important. I guess if i ever hear back from him we can talk about it. Thanks for the advice! click to expand

yeah, that's fair enough. it's a jungle out there in the dating world. it's a natural reaction to go for that assumption. 9 times out of 10 you're going to be right. the problem is 1 time out of 10 you're going to be wrong.

it's a balancing act where you can't be stupid but you also have to give things a chance before you shut it down. click to expand

click to expand

aptly put.

Posted by rmactavish

Posted by boxcarmirnta

Posted by rmactavish

Posted by boxcarmirnta

Posted by jeane

Posted by boxcarmirnta

Posted by jeane

Posted by boxcarmirnta

Posted by jeane

Posted by boxcarmirnta

Posted by AnotherTaurusGuyReturns

Posted by boxcarmirnta
@AnotherTaurusGuyReturns i need your input!

I’d just chill and wait for him to come to you. 3 days is nothing, it doesn’t mean he doesn’t like you anymore or anything.



If you’re not happy tell him you need more communication. If he doesn’t change the rest is up to you. click to expand

IF he comes back...he goes from actually calling me several times a day...to nothing..it feels like a pretty big change. Consistency is very important to me...if he DOES come back..i will tell him its totally unacceptable to leave me hanging for days..then its up to HIM! click to expand

i agree with atgr. 3 days isn't very long. it's just something you need to talk about it.



but also these guys don't change quickly. if this is his pattern you have to be patient when trying to nudge him in another way. it takes a bit of time to form a new habit.



i suppose it depends how important it is to hear from him everyday at this stage is to you. is this the price of admission?

click to expand

good to know, thank you. Every day doesnt matter to me...but having my txt just sit there hanging for 3 days..feels really weird to me. It def seems like a pattern...he just disappears...... click to expand

it sounds like he is dealing with something else. how much do you know about the rest of his life? click to expand

i know a decent amount..i feel like if something was going he would tell me, but maybe not. I just feel his words and actions arent matching up. He wants to be serious with someone but acts like he's messing around.."shrug* he finally wrote me and i told him inconsistency wasnt for me....no response (shocker). click to expand

did he tell you why he didn't respond?



my best advice is to tell you how i would handle something like this with my partner.



a) i would first find out if everything ok. my first instinct would be to worry that something has happened.

b) next i would explain to him that i was worried about him.

c) he would likely explain the reason for the silence which i would listen to and accept as his perspective on the situation.

d) i would tell him that leaving me hanging after talking every day makes me feel insecure and a bit foolish.

e) ask him not to do that in future and if he needs a few days space just to shoot me a quick text and i won't worry.

f) not talk about it anymore (unless he wants to) as it's now forgotten and you can get onto more interesting matters.

the golden rule in this instance for me is always "seek first to understand then to be understood". in future if it happens again because i have listened to how he perceives the situation, i would be less likely to have the same reaction as the first time because i would be seeing it through his eyes.



obvs. you deal it with it the best way you feel but that is how i would treat this situation. click to expand

wow! You obviously know this situation well ! Haha...i don't feel so alone now..i think that is all good advice. When i just start dating someone though, i do assume theyre messing around cuz i just don't know em well. Also ive worried over them ' being hurt' or something wrong only to find out theyre just inconsiderate dicks. Makes me feel stupid to even ask at this point. Reassurance is important. I guess i need to know him better. He didnt tell me why he ignored me and hasnt responded, so i assume i won't hear from him again, just like i assumed before. I don't like being in that position. I don't wanna worry i wanna know he'll always respond. Consistent communication is very important. I guess if i ever hear back from him we can talk about it. Thanks for the advice! click to expand

I read your whole thread and wow you're so much like me, and this is highly relatable to how one of my ex Taurus best friend and I was, just have to switch the genders here. click to expand

really wow?! Care to explain? Also ex does not sound promising click to expand

Yeah so the thing is we were together in high school, instantly connected. But the thing is we started of really well, and at one point I was starting to catch romantic feelings for her cuz we were so 'made for each other' kinda, but then something happened to her, she started flaking out, from texting everyday after school to not texting or replying to my texts at all or hours later, not talking much in school and never taking initiative to say hi if I don't. After some point I snapped and stopped talking to her or texting, thinking she's gonna come. But nope. Things just went downhill from there and we totally started ignoring each other. 2 years later I still have no idea wtf happened to her that she behaved like that. click to expand

click to expand

thats a real bummer, i'm sorry that happened..😢 Being young, ppl don't often feel the need to explain themselves like you do when you get older. Maybe she'll grow up a little and feel bad and give you an explanation someday.

Just letting y'all know ..for future googlers...all the sweet kind stuff he said was garbage...he made it clear it wasnt meant for 'me 'specfically' just for someone in general.. ( wanting a relationship, wanting sex to mean something etc etc ) i was just a place holder it would seem. I asked for some consistency and he got really mad and acted like id just asked him to kill his mother. The bull cannot be moved apparently. And i'm just garbage now to him. Amazing actor that one...if it seems too good to be true. IT IS.

Posted by boxcarmirnta

Posted by Redbull

Posted by boxcarmirnta

Posted by AnotherTaurusGuyReturns

Posted by Adreamuponwaking

Posted by AnotherTaurusGuyReturns

Posted by Adreamuponwaking

Posted by boxcarmirnta

Posted by AnotherTaurusGuyReturns

Posted by boxcarmirnta

Posted by AnotherTaurusGuyReturns
Anything happen on the date that might have put him off? Did you say you'd had 700 previous boyfriends?

haha! Nope...we made plans and talked normally after..then things got weird...shrug?

Give it a few days and contact him again. He may just be trying to work out how you feel about him. However, if you get the impression after that that he is jerking you around then cut him loose.

thanks for the actual advice! I agree.

disagree







move on now







this guy has already struck out imho

I get where you’re coming from but I usually give people one chance. They can be having an off day, family problems or whatever.

i think she did via text







the "sometimes i don't respond" line signals a no go for me.







people don't respond when they are playing games



or not that into you







if there is stuff going on he would have said...not to just excuse himself but to let her know that he is still interested







it's a respect thing.

I do get that. I’m just answering from a Taurus perspective where you can sometimes be “not in the mood” to talk with someone. Doesn’t mean you don’t like them or respect them.

i don't have much experience with you guys..are you moody? Do you need time alone and stuff? I know pisces do.. click to expand

Yeah. Moody. All Earth signs are I think. If you know Earth signs well we have our "to ourselves" moods then we have our social moods. We can be more loners than other signs though especially as adults. There is work and trying to do things and so on we need our peace and quiet...also I think what a lot of people dont get is its kind of how we pace ourselves. Too much of something...we aren't the types to go the "burnout" route. A lot of it can actually be to conserve and actually for the longevity of it. So i think those are parts of the "easing off" Tauruses do. Tortoises of the zodiac. Going full speed all the time is how the rabbit loses. click to expand

awesome good to know! click to expand

click to expand

Taurus is a beast of burden. I'll get moody, become withdrawn and introverted, or just take my time to process and meditate on things. As an artist, I do need alone time, but feel that might be different. Unless we are REALLY close and I feel comfortable with you, it's just another day and you won't know it...with time that could change, but I sure won't be a jerk about it. It takes a lot to piss us off, but if in low spirits or not trying to be bothered, I'll just ignore you and get back to you later.

I would say friendzone this guy and start talking to someone else. Give him a chance...as a friend, since that's what he is treating you as. Maybe a distant one at that. If he asks what's changed, this guy hasn't earned the right to know details. Years (or months) later, if and when he comes around, he either had his chance or you can consider what you want to do then. For now move on to the next.

Posted by boxcarmirnta
Just letting y'all know ..for future googlers...all the sweet kind stuff he said was garbage...he made it clear it wasnt meant for 'me 'specfically' just for someone in general.. ( wanting a relationship, wanting sex to mean something etc etc ) i was just a place holder it would seem. I asked for some consistency and he got really mad and acted like id just asked him to kill his mother. The bull cannot be moved apparently. And i'm just garbage now to him. Amazing actor that one...if it seems too good to be true. IT IS.

I'm very sorry to hear that he fell off like that. It's his loss, you seem like a genuine person and he sounds like just an asshole.

Posted by FineStone25

Posted by boxcarmirnta
Just letting y'all know ..for future googlers...all the sweet kind stuff he said was garbage...he made it clear it wasnt meant for 'me 'specfically' just for someone in general.. ( wanting a relationship, wanting sex to mean something etc etc ) i was just a place holder it would seem. I asked for some consistency and he got really mad and acted like id just asked him to kill his mother. The bull cannot be moved apparently. And i'm just garbage now to him. Amazing actor that one...if it seems too good to be true. IT IS.

I'm very sorry to hear that he fell off like that. It's his loss, you seem like a genuine person and he sounds like just an asshole. click to expand

click to expand

thanks man. I dunno what his deal is.