taurus - interested in your past relationships?

hi all,
new relationship with a taurus man and I couldn't be happier. (I'm a capricorn.)
the issue of past relationships has never come up in conversation -- we haven't talked once about exes. is this a common thing? I've opened the door to that conversation a couple of times but he's never bitten, either to ask about mine or to tell me about his. our thing is still new but I'm curious about his dating past.
comments? advice?
thanks
CTG

^^^Best response ever! LOL

That was PERFECT VB!
Yeah, I'm not much for past talks about past relationships. I know (unless they've been living in a damn box their whole life), that they have been: loving, sexing, wining, dining, and just plain dating before they met me...it's on a need to know basis, and I don't need to know about that. The converse is true too. I prefer not to discuss/divulge information about my past relationships either. I know a lot of people want to know every dirty little detail about their mates past relationships - me, not so much. I don't know if that's a Taurus thang', but it's definitely a me thing!

The three things you need to know about past relationships

1. Length of longest relationship- as an adult

2. When did their last relationship end- two weeks prior is a deal breaker

3. Are they over it

To me that's just being smart and informed

im not exactly sure how you can make sure you are not a rebound in this situation since he refuse to talk about it, but it would be wise to create an emotional distance until he's ready to open up. if not it's like him getting a job without the interview/resume. the past could be painful, which can possibly mean it's fresh or something he's still holding on to, which can end up a being a threat to your relationship. of course this is the worse case scenario but better safe than sorry. good luck.

No one is getting this apparently but the Bulls themselves. Let me spell this out clearly. Good old black and white.

Taurus is not with past cast members. Taurus is here with you. Right here. Right now. In the present where everything is within cupped hands.

Now. You can worry about someone else, you shouldn't. You can create scenarios of past amours in your head. You really needn't bother. You can fret and stew and make a lil' bit of drama for yourself. Completely unnecessary. OR. You can focus on what is there right now. To question a Taurus over this is insulting. The others aren't even a blip on the mental radar. Focus is you.

Wanna flip that around a bit too while we're at it? Bulls are not even remotely interested in hearing about your past. To imagine anyone else with you is just flat out distasteful. WE are the one you're with. Not much room for anyone else in the room. Bring it up, you'll get distaste. Continue to do so to incur jealousy or make a stink, you'll get one. Good way to turn a Tau from sunshine and rainbows to a real asshole. Guarantee it.

Maybe because it wasn't romantic relationships it made a difference, but the two Taurus males I worked with both opened up to me about their past relationships. There was emotion still there with one when he talked about his ex, although they still remained best friends, and the other Taurus(one I talk about the most) admitted he still had a bit of feelings for his ex.

I can understand not preferring to talk about the past, but if you see it's important to the person you are currently dating, it should be easier to give a quick rundown then to keep quiet or refuse to answer, which creates unnecessary suspicion.

Not in the least. If one prefers not to talk about something than picking at just creates tension. Unnecessary tension. A Taurus male will lock up tighter than a nuns knees if you belabor any point. That one in a romantic context just isn't done. He is zero interested in past loves of yours, and his don't exist if he's keen on a woman.

Posted by venusianbull
Wanna flip that around a bit too while we're at it? Bulls are not even remotely interested in hearing about your past. To imagine anyone else with you is just flat out distasteful. WE are the one you're with. Not much room for anyone else in the room. Bring it up, you'll get distaste. Continue to do so to incur jealousy or make a stink, you'll get one. Good way to turn a Tau from sunshine and rainbows to a real asshole. Guarantee it.

Exactly, and I'm not even really a jealous person; HOWEVER, if I fall in love with someone, I damn sure don't want to hear about his exes, etc. It may not bother other people, but I don't want to hear about it, because in my opinion, if they were that damn great, why are you here with me? I also don't believe in that "trying to make someone jealous thing." IMO, it's immature and something you do when you are a teenager and don't know any better. Anybody older than say, 25 and having been in more than 1 or 2 serious relationships in their lives shouldn't play the jealousy game. Also, ultimatums don't sit well with me. I'm very "male" in that respect, in that if you give me an ultimatum, my response is likely not gonna be what you want to hear. You can't push me to do ish, but conversely, I don't try to push people to do anything either. It works like this: either you want to be with me or you don't. It's really that simple. Your past relationships and my past relationships are just that - PAST. If that person decides to leave me for someone from their past, that's on them, and I have no control over that. I worry about things I have control over - not things I have NO control over.

^^^^^ Yes indeed.

Boooo lol! Pisces mentioned the important things to know about someone's past relationships, and it may be hard to believe, but many people think along those lines so I don't think its a thing with control. The resistance could lead to other issues though, possibly dealing with control if not careful.

Its all about what they are both willing to give and forget.

Posted by 25thDecan
^no. And stop that capricorn girl nonsense of making an excuse for poking and prodding. It's all about what they are willing appreciate while enduring with one another. She's with a taurus...not a walking resume. I stand by what I said. Tread lightly goat chick..I ain't in the effing mood.

What's wrong poking and prodding? If you are in a relationship with someone its pretty normal imo to want to know a little history. You can be dealing with someone who wont talk about his/her ex because they're locked in the basement beneath the stairs lol. Forget appreciating a moment. I think its good to know who/what your dealing with, and really a person could tell you anything but they can also shut you up about it if that's what they really want to do.

Know history for what though? Your own morbid curiosity..to satisfy someones ego? To go through the normal female habit of making more worry and bullshit for oneself that isn't necessary? To make him crazy till he snaps? To continue to cross a clearly drawn line. To glean such interesting tidbits that he was a whore in college? To satiate insecurities? It doesn't flipping matter if he dated a super model or a cross eyed rabbit. It's in the past where it belongs. Unless he underwent some horrific science experiment in a lab somewhere, it's moot. Bagging on about your exes is passe. Christ, be relieved he's not among the many that continually bring them up and toss them in your face for further game and hilarity.

A little history is, "I was married. I'm divorced and have two kids." That's enough "history," because that's telling you that he has kids that are a part of his life, and if you are with him, they will be a part of your life too. In my opinion, that information is pertinent and important, otherwise: I. Don't. Care. To. Know.
I was with someone and later we were engaged (total 8 years) and let me tell you; barring his one ex-girlfriend who we went to school with (we were in college), I didn't care about, nor want to know about any of his exes. Also, he never asked about my past history either. We were with one another; the past was a moot point. It had NO bearing on our relationship. Again, as VB alluded too, unless he was involved in some "horrific science experiment," it's really not relevant to our relationship. Sometimes bad boys turn good; good boys turn bad. Bad girls turn good; good girls turn bad. People bring too much baggage into their current relationships; try to share ALL that information and baggage, and then wonder why they don't work out— I'm a private person, so it takes a LONG, LONG time to get close to me. Even my friends will attest to that. I've never been one to do "full disclosure." The more people know about you, the more they can use that information to you in the future. I try not to give people ammunition to use against me...however, this is going into another topic.

Posted by venusianbull
It doesn't flipping matter if he dated a super model or a cross eyed rabbit.

LMAO!!!! I wonder what those photos of him and his girlfriend the cross-eyed rabbit look like...
That's like when a guy cheats on a girl and she says, "OMG, she is SO ugly! I just don't get it." I always retort, "So, if she was a beautiful super model, then you'd be happier?" Someone that you love cheating on/leaving you for ANYBODY - ugly/pretty/smart/stupid/rich/poor, just sucks.

Hey..it was COLLEGE. Bwahahaha.

I'm with a fantastic Taurus man, fact is he has a penis he has a past - but his present is what interests me, because he is in it. If there were any ladies in his past who he had greater or same feelings for than he does for me then he would talk about them even if he wasn't conscious of it. And as far as I can see he feels the same way.

We don't discuss past relationships nor try to subtly probe for information, well I don't anyway and i'm quite sure he hasn't either, its not a decision that was consicously made, there is just no need, he is here, I am here - WE are the present and future, two people going forward moulded by our past experiences. His childrens mother and my childrens father come up in the course of normal conversation, as we are talking about our children, but there is no seeking of particular information. I am so confident of the feelings he has and I have that I have no interest in his former girlfriends, it is all irrelevant - I think seeking information on former loves is more about affirming the feelings that the person you are with currently has for you and if you need to affirm or confirm in this way then there may be a slight insecurity or jealousy - or maybe just plain old simple nosiness 😉. I do understand curiosity.

I completely understand what the Bulls are saying, but I think the point is being missed. If we look at potential lovers in the context of interviewing for a job, the smart thing is to know something about the past. I agree about not going into details. I personally dont care about long drawn history of who did what to who. There are three sides to every story; their side, the other persons side, and the truth. Ultimately, unless you were there every step of the way, you just dont know. For me, I want to know how recently your last relationship ended. Not to find out if I'm a rebound, but more to gauge the time you took for youself inbetween relationships. To me, that says a lot. I want to know if you were able to sustain a long term relationship as an adult. I know guys who havent had a "girlfriend" since High School- thats a problem for me. And yes, I need to know if you are "over" a long term relationship that ended badly. I dont go to sleep to dream and I'm not living my life in a field of roses thinking that the only thing that matters is right now. Our history is a big part of who we are and a large factor of the choices we make going forward.

But LetItBe, aren't Scorpios known to hold on to the past AND their exes. Of course I could see you agreeing to not talk about it lol. When I first met a Scorpio he instantly went in on his ex. My automatic thought was to keep a distance because he wasn't over her.

I agree with PiscesFebFish. I'm not into details either, so I don't care to know it all..just a brief rundown.

My main point is, if something that simple is being avoided then how do you look forward in a positive way? I'd start thinking what else will he avoid answering? What does the avoidance really mean? I'd never feel I'd really know or get a chance to know him if he's closing off parts of himself. Yeah, an extremely long list of issues would soon follow.

Just me though. OP give us an update.

I dont think the bulls on here are going to co-sign your preference or mine even if it makes sense. They are fixed. You just need to do whats best for you. And if it makes you feel better; my friend has venus and mars in Taurus. He brought up an ex simply because we were having a general discussion about love. He simply stated why they were no longer together, he made it clear he was over it. And we have moved on. His past is now a non-factor because it was addressed, and luckily he was open enough to offer this info. My response "Sorry I dont have anything to contribute about my past relationships. Shit just wasnt that deep"

I agree that details about major relationships (ones that involve children, marriage..) should be exchanged, but the major details not the itty gritty bits, so how long it is over, how long they were together, are they amicable or not etc. should be known, I know this about my taurus, as he does mine, but after that its all best left in the past, and less important relationships are just not interesting really..

Posted by robyn808

If you want to know more about him, Say that. I want to know about your life, where you've been, what's influenced you, how did you become the awesome dude you are today? This stuff comes out in natural conversations, but don't pry, don't push, and don't think you have the right to know things about his relationships because you don't.

Exactly. Getting to know someone should be a natural process that takes some time. Too many people attempt to rush into things (I'm not referring to the OP, just people in general), and they miss out on just having fun. Yes, there is a natural curiosity to want to know things like, "OMG, that's awesome that you studied a year abroad in Milan, Italy, what was that like?" To me, that's something that is a natural part of getting to know someone and just great conversation. Discussing their or my past relationships; why they didn't work, etc. Just isn't anything I want to get in to. Yes, they've lived life and have had relationships.

Awesome responses, thanks all!!!

No updates, unless y'all want to hear a treacly ode to this guy's wonderfulness. We haven't talked about relationships and I don't really see it coming up. I'm learning to take 25thdecan's charming advice to chill out. My guy seems to be in the "here & now" mode so clearly explained by VenusianBull. And here & now for me is on cloud nine. 🙂

The tauruses have said again and again that "the past is past" -- so now I'm really curious about whether you even carry relationship baggage, either negative or positive. From my perspective relationships are part of our history that shapes who we are and sort of by default they affect how we interact with new loves.

Tauruses out there, do you have baggage? How do past relationships affect your current ones?

Posted by catherinethegood

Tauruses out there, do you have baggage? How do past relationships affect your current ones?

Everybody has baggage, it's how you chose to handle it that may be the difference that is reflected between varying people.
Also, regardless of sign, people are people, and each person is going to handle their situations differently than someone else. Example, VB is a gracious, warm and loving person who is open to relationships, even if her past one may not have been perfect, she doesn't appear to hold that against the next person. Do you want to get on her bad side? Nope, but she's going to be far more open to engaging in a new relationship than I would be, because I tend to be a bit more closed off and I'm not as friendly as she is, and that is a culmination of my personality, past relationships, and simply not being that interested in being in a relationship.

Perfectly said USC. —

Posted by venusianbull
Perfectly said USC. —

Thanks sweetie 🙂 Even though I sound like a cold, heartless troll! LOL!

Posted by 25thDecan
I'm very "male" in that respect, in that if you give me an ultimatum, my response is likely not gonna be what you want to hear. You can't push me to do ish, but conversely, I don't try to push people to do anything either. It works like this: either you want to be with me or you don't.- this isn't male...it's mature. Lol

You just gotta' give me a hard time doncha? 😉 I meant that, in my experience, most of my male friends don't cave to ultimatums, whereas my female friends are usually swayed into compromising more or caving to ultimatums. 🙂

Posted by USCTaurusGal

Posted by venusianbull
Perfectly said USC. —

Thanks sweetie 🙂 Even though I sound like a cold, heartless troll! LOL!

click to expand

I dare anyone to say that boutcha. *punching air*

LOL Not at all, you sound like a woman who knows her own mind. We can't all bleed rainbows and fairy dust. One favor if you please. If I dip myself in holographic glitter, slap on a pair of wings and skip off into the wildflower field humming tunes...hold me down and slap the snot out of me. 😄

Posted by venusianbull

Posted by USCTaurusGal

Posted by venusianbull
Perfectly said USC. —

Thanks sweetie 🙂 Even though I sound like a cold, heartless troll! LOL!

I dare anyone to say that boutcha. *punching air*

LOL Not at all, you sound like a woman who knows her own mind. We can't all bleed rainbows and fairy dust. One favor if you please. If I dip myself in holographic glitter, slap on a pair of wings and skip off into the wildflower field humming tunes...hold me down and slap the snot out of me. 😄

click to expand

LMAO! I will MOST appropriately, smack reality back into you!

Thank you. *eyes dancing*

Thanks again for all the replies! VB and USCTaurusGal, food for thought, thanks.
Just to clarify - past relationships haven't been an issue, I just thought it was strange that after a few months I haven't heard a single word or side comment about a previous girl. Those little anecdotes usually come up... I mean, I assume he hasn't been sitting in a closet waiting for me to come along.

25th, Aww, thanks, I'll give him many a hug when I see him. I feel like you've hit the nail on the head with "trust yourself."
Now, what's this about? --
"It can be a bit confusing to others to bring out the open side of a bull over raising the possessive factor. BUT..big BUT here...if you show them what you appreciate about them and make HARMONY over "plans"...time spent over "investigating" and "sizing" up, they will reciprocate."
I'm confused. Honey preferred to vinegar, of course, but what's this about openness vs possessiveness?

Posted by harry99
If we bring up an ex it's cuz we're not over them so be very happy he hasn't brought up any exes. Trust me when I say that it is a non-issue. We're a traditional sign and that includes "don't kiss and tell", "don't air your dirty laundry" etc..etc.. All that matters is the person we're with.

Word!

I recently had a nice little chat with my Venus/mars Taurus about cheating and various expectations in a relationship and guess what? We talked about the past......which includes........wait for the shocker.....past relationships! Did anyone faint? I got smelling salts. No, it wasn't a long drawn convo with names, dates, scenarios and who did what. But the past was mentioned and a clear concise picture of how we both operate going forward as individuals. Just sayin folks.

As did we. She came, she asked, we answered.

The Taurus guys I talked to only two but they both seemed pretty interested in the past. One was open with me about one girl, i never asked and the other shared alot of personal info about his dating past not just one person and he was interested in mine as well, although I am not comfortable sharing stuff like that, I have let him know about certain things.

I think they wanted to put other what kind of things and behaviors were completely unacceptable, which was cool with me.

Hitler doesnt matter anymore he's dead. But we talk about him because his PAST affected our Present. Most of the people on these various message boards will reflect about a past relationship to make a point, give an example, or show empathy towards another. To assume its only done because one isnt over the situation is presumptuous, and to lump all Taurus's in that category is uneducated. Thats simply the point I'm trying to make. My male Virgo friend once told me that he never talks about his ex's to his current because "women will use a bad situation as amunition in an argument when things go bad" Isnt it great that all Virgo men dont think like that :-)

Point blank - at the end of the day, YOU have to do what YOU feel like doing in YOUR relationship. No, we can't take a broad brush and paint all ___________(fill in the blank) as anything, because we all ARE truly different. With that being said, there are some generalities/similarities that seem to be true. Varying Taureans have chimed in on this thread, and we all seem to have similar underlying themes in that, we really don't participate in the "I'll show you mine, if you'll show me yours." While I can appreciate that the person has a past (in terms of relationships), I really don't need to hear about it. And, as I stated before, I really prefer not to talk about my past relationships either, for a multitude of reasons. For me, personally, I get HUGELY turned off, if I meet a guy who is (presumably) trying to date me, and then he breaks into all the women he's dated, and how "Hot/Rich/Sexy/Fun,etc" his exes were, and ...blah, blah, blah. I.Don't.Give.A.Rats.A $ $ .
As I said before, someone being divorced and having kids is probably something you would need to know, as that can affect your current relationship (custody situations and the like), but otherwise, it's really not important to me. I don't care if he's dated 5 women or 50 women, and they ALL won the Ms. Universe contests...none of that has anything to do with me. Again, we are all different. One of my closest cousins is a Scorp, and let me tell you, one time I went over to a guys house with her that she was dating (this was years ago), and he left to go get us some food. She went through EVERYTHING in his apartment within 20 minutes, looking for...I don't know what, but she said, "I need to know what's going on, so I'm looking." I'm 180 degrees different. I value privacy, so what she did was extremely offensive to me, but I see on this forum that a lot of people have no problem going through peoples personal effects to "find things out" about them. That's just not cool to me. I'll finish by saying that if someone wants to know something about the person they are dating, they need to simply ask that person, if it will assuage their curiosity, and such. As someone else wrote before, as you are dating and getting to know someone, there are natural conversations that come up, and should address some of these curiosities.

Brava!