Taurus man ignoring

Hi, sorry it's a little long. But I'm desperate. 😢

I'm a Leo woman, the guy in question is a Taurus.
We aren't a couple, it's a bit impossible considering as we live in different countries.
Several months ago he added me on facebook through mutual friends and immediately started chatting. We reached a point we talked everyday, at first just friendly conversations (and of course a lot of 'poking') and quickly we started talking mainly about sex.
I flew to the UK then a month later (a long planned trip), we met up 3 times and slept together once during the second time.
We chatted everyday still, he txted me two hours after we slept together when I honestly thought I wouldn't hear from him again. During my trip he left for a week in Germany and even contacted me then daily.
Thing is it was never a relationship. He'd tell me about his successes and failures at pulling other girls (mind you he's quite a loser at that area and as far as I know he hasn't been with anyone since me) and I told him a little too. The last time we met was quite emotional. But then I left for a week in another country before returning back to my home country and even then we continued chatting daily.
All our talks which were mainly about sex were also quite descriptive for the next time we meet, as I was planning a trip back to the UK in February. And he was always saying how much he'd like to meet again.. I guess we considered each other as 'friends with benefits'.

As soon as I got back home almost 3 weeks ago, he changed. Started ignoring my messages for days, sometimes without replying at all, would barely start conversations himself, and even the poking pretty much stopped lol. He's been telling me he's really busy at work.
The first week since I came back was hard when he started acting like that, the few conversations we had were cold and short. That same week when he was drunk we had another sexual conversation like that and the following day I decided to be a bit forward and asked if the only reason he's like that is really just cos he's busy and since I asked he also said 'if I was seeing someone of course I would let you know'. He apologized immediately and said he hasn't been himself. To try and make him feel better because I was worried he might have gotten scared off by me (maybe he thought I have feelings for him) I told him I'm going on a date that week too so we should just be honest with each other.
That one conversation ended nicely.

We only talked once the next week and I started to realize just how much I miss him and how difficult this is for me. To top it off I realized I can't make it in February so I decided to change my plans to December or January and wanted to bring it up with him because I still thought we might meet.
At that weekend after he's been ignoring me so much that week I realized this is getting worse so I confronted him, said I thought we were good friends and I'm unsure what's changed. He apologized again, this time for being unfair to me. And said he wants to stay friends for sure, he just doesn't want the sex talk/forward planning anymore and wasn't sure what to say.
Being a proud Leo myself after I got drunk that night I asked him why, he didn't want to say but eventually said he's been having a hard time lately thinking about his life, relationships, etc..
Of course I agreed to respect his decision.

But the next week wasn't much better. I'd write hi on Sunday, he'd reply on Monday. Then we had a short, cold conversation which he left halfway through. I wrote hi again on Tuesday, and he replied on Wednesday. This time I decided to ignore him until I cracked today, on Friday and said I really miss having fun with him, to which he didn't reply so later I started a conversation with him (this time he replied) which was cold again, just about going out with friends.. and during which I actually felt the need to apologize for the nice 'I miss having fun with you' message I sent earlier and explained I've been going through a hard time too (but he doesn't know the main reason is him). Plus that was the first time he got drunk and didn't attempt contacting me during, since we started talking.

Now I'm not sure what my next move is. I'm not looking for commitment because I don't believe in long distance relationships. I just really miss the way he was. We had so much fun together, at least I thought, and I'd like to believe there's some way I can make it happen again. I'd still like to meet him next time and I'm actually afraid to ask now cos I'm worried he will say no. When we did talk about future planning we were planning stuff that I doubt many people do to be honest lol because when I'm there I felt a lot more carefree and open and want to make the most of it and I felt I finally found a partner for it. It's like he went completely 180 degrees and I'm worried it won't change back.

I know I should ignore him more but I get scared he'll forget me. Also being a Leo I get paranoid and dramatic and well, I really do miss him (I won't lie, I do have feelings for him). Every one keep telling me to leave it, unfriend him and be done with it but it's impossible for me right now. But all I really care is the future. I could not talk to him for 2 months if I knew we were going to meet in December or January for sure.

So can any Taurus men or anyone who know Taurus men well tell me, did I blow it all off already with my neediness? What should be my next move - when should I ask him about the trip (cnsidering I need to book my flight tickets as early as November 1st if I do decide to go in December and that if I don't talk to him in advance he might not be able to come meet me due to work or previous engagements)? Should I ignore him? Should I continue to write to him every other day to feed his ego when he treats me like this? And what could possibly be the reason if he's telling the truth and doesn't have anyone else (seeing as I mentioned before, he doesn't get lucky often with the ladies)? And what I want the most is just to be able to be honest and direct, say I had a good time with him, I want to again despite the fact we said we won't do the future planning and just want to know if he wants to meet again - is that something that would completely scare a Taurus off? How can I make him chase me again? And if I should ask about next time I come over, should I be direct and well, dirty like we were before or considering the situation should I be more vague? I wrote a pretty direct message which my Cancer male friend loved and my Aries male friend said it makes me sound too desperate. Though I tried not to sound like that and kept it quite nice and gave him time to think and hinted that if he doesn't want to meet it's his loss lol

I know his ex left him and he's been really hurt by that bytheway so I thought he might be scared of being deserted. And mentioned he doesn't want a relationship right now a few times when we met (generally of course).

and I don't mind sending the planned message privately to any Taurus who's prepared to give me their honest opinion lol

Nah the loser at love thing was from mutual friends actually. He's been honest about that too true, but he really is.

Of course it hurt my ego, the thing is the way it all happened, one day it was fine, we slept very early in September and yet stayed in touch daily and planned the next time every day since. Until the change came out of the blue. The ego is the reason it's hard for me to stop initiating contact, plus the fact I do miss having him in my life. But honestly if we had a friendly chat now and he told me he's been with someone I couldn't care less, that's how it's been between us, so no, I'm not looking for commitment. I'm looking for the fun this used to be.
Even at the one-2 weeks before we started really talking about sex we weren't exactly just friends, I mean, we have pretty different areas of interest, so the fact he said he wants to stay friends when he could have easily thrown it away is mind boggling for me, as it was always about sex between us.
Which is why if he told me he's not interested in meeting next time I would delete him, cos there's no point to this then. It's just getting to the point when I feel it's ok to ask.
He's very honest, and trust me, not the player-type at all. The dude is one of the most shy and quiet guys you could ever meet, I think he can only really pull online lol I do think at least at some point he had feelings for me and I just want to know how to behave next as I find it hard to accept.. honestly, if he didn't answer me back then about the friends message or if he tells me he doesn't want to meet me again then yes, I'd see it as over, but saying he doesn't want sex talk after I told him I see other guys and after I came back to my home country is a completely different thing.
Ignoring him for a while and seeing what happens then I can do but seeing as my flight is 2 months away I'll have to bring it up sometime.

I haven't booked yet but planning too, regardless to him I have tickets for gigs then lol

And I don't know, if he would have rejected me we wouldn't have been friends anymore. Fact is, when I don't write for a few days, he contacts. Or a few times when I wrote hi, he wrote back and I disappeared he contacted me again later, obviously it bugged me. Yes he did say he doesn't want the sex talk/future planning anymore but by future planning he meant the talks we used to have, which were quite descriptive chats about what we'll do - sexually - next time. Maybe loser me thinks that even though he doesn't want to talk about it there's still a chance it'll happen.
If he was only in it to have sex once I doubt we'd stay in touch that long, daily, after. Which is what I miss.

I read a lot online about Tauruses, the fact they can disappear for a while then come back, in a way to sort of test to see how much they mean to the others. And it sounded pretty similar to my situation which is why I went to an astrology forum and not a relationship forum in the first place.

And again, I know him, he is shy, he's a loser at love, the fact he got me means nothing. I'm not just saying it, it's the truth. You don't know the guy, I do. I've known him for years before we started talking. He's the kind of guy who works 8-12 hours a day, studies and goes to pubs with his guy friends at the weekend, talking mostly about rugby. Which is why the only topic of conversation we really shared was sex, I don't really do rugby.

Don't be desparate - you're a Leo, be proud, too proud to show your desparation at least!

I'm a Leo who recently had a short but extremely intense relationship with a great Taurus guy. My three best friends are Taurus as is my sister and best man friend - believe me the lovely taurueans know how to use words, they are veritable wordsmiths, and us Leos, well we just love words and are suckered in by them especially the romantic kind - gifts, presents etc. aren't going to impress us no matter that others think we are materialistic - we are not. Words catch us which is why I think Leo's love Taurus so much!!

My ex-Taurus captured me in that way, words, beautiful words but as soon as he started backing away I did too - you need to stop contacting him, but especially if you're a true blue leo and have kept all the texts, etc. you need to delete them, cause you are probably reading over and over them every day, making yourself relive the experience, staying in the past. You're not in love with this guy, you probably do have some feelings for him alright - there isn't a leo that exists than doesn't catch feelings easily, but you're more in love with the promise of the words spoken and written and the promise of the future you built up inside you and which is now gone, its dead - you're sad not desparate, so this is where you can start to detach - get rid of the words he wrote and work mentally on removing the words he spoke from your mind.

Hold you're head up, stand tall and bring your fire back out. you never know there may be another lovely taurus waiting to be lit up by you soon - they are the most wonderful people.

I actually hadn't saved anything other than the Facebook chats, and I never read back.

The reason it's hard for me to disconnect is cos we're still in touch, rarely, but still. He's still my friend on Facebook, he chose to stay friends, and when I don't write, he still contacts. Which brought me to believe that giving him some time off is my way to eventually contact and meet up again.

You need to take him off your facebook. Don't believe he will come back again. I know its hard to disconnect especially for us Leo's but you have to cause this one is going nowhere. And if you do meet up again it will just be the start of this whole process again, you will be back at this point and feeling heartbroken but with even more memories to disconnect from. Don't allow this to happen to yourself.

Nah, it won't happen again because I will expect it. I know you guys think you got me all figured out but you haven't, the pain is mainly from the feeling of being clueless, from the surprise, the shock, the way it hurt my ego. And if there's a way to fix this just temporarily and meet again I'd rather do it and give up after than do so now.

you see I do know how you feel, just been through it myself in the last few weeks, the shock and surprise of how a person acts, speaks, your friend, sharing with that person and then sudden change, he is gone out of the blue, didn't see that one coming - the hurt ego i also have, its still fresh with me and its ongoing at the moment but from a position of strength in myself now because of the actions I took in the immediate aftermath, he has now been deleted from my life as its the only way to move forward, albeit I still have the melancholic feelings of what could have been - waiting to see if you can meet him again, just even for that "one more time" maybe so you can have closure - it won't work, wondering what might happen, imagining the moments you could have with him, you're digging your emotions in deeper - its a mental challenge now for you to take up, to stop this process in its tracks, to regain strength. I really do understand how you feel.

but don't you think the reason he keeps me in his own life is for the possibility of another time? i know that once i mention the next trip i will feel better, cos i said what i had to say and from there i will act accordingly. if he says no, he'll be deleted, if he ignores or takes his time then i will not speak to him again, i've got my trip to plan anyway. i only really came here to ask when and how would it be best to bring it up.

No, i think he keeps you in his life cause he is probably a polite guy, and a taurus to boot, they do like to keep their women in their lives, it doesn't mean anything though. Ok so lets say you send the message and he says ok lets meet - which I don't think he will, what happens then, cause he isn't going back to the way things were, he has said that and once a taurean says something nothing will change their stubborn mind. So what happens then, will you be more devastated? will you have even more feelings to sift through, will your ego be even more damaged? Until you stop and remove this man now you will be on a continuing journey of trying to understand why he did what he did. If he says no, you will really delete him? that hurt from even more rejection, do you want it? Do you want to be told no again. What if he doesn't reply at all - how will that make you feel?

Now listen, I do understand your need to say to him about the next trip, I was the same when I was younger, if I needed to say something I needed to say it and so therefore I did, but from years of experience I know that I will look back and regret, I will feel deflated pride in my actions, wish I had never done that or said that, kick myself for lowering myself. By sending him the message are you really saying "here I am, dying for sex, come and take it, I have no pride, just sleep with me - please".

Do you want to meet him again having laid yourself at his feet?

Posted by agalgalon
i know that once i mention the next trip i will feel better, cos i said what i had to say and from there i will act accordingly.

you will feel better in the minutes, hours, few days to follow, then you won't feel better but worse.

Well, the first time we met it was pretty obvious what we both wanted and I felt no shame in that, it was great, and we kept in touch for long after.
He never said he doesn't want to meet me again, he just said he doesn't want to talk about sex anymore because he's busy rethinking his life etc.. when he said future planning what he meant was the talks we had about the next time we meet which were all basically what we'll do when we next meet, hence the sex talk/future planning coming together.
I don't see it as him saying he doesn't want to meet again, and tbh I don't mind just meeting as friends although again even when we met before and didn't sleep together it was mainly the topic of discussion so I don't see how that can happen.
I would rather hear the no cos like you mentioned, I need the closure. If I delete him now or won't give this the chance I want then I will forever wonder what would happen if and I can't do that, I never could. I rather be 100% with the decision to delete him.

And perhaps the message I send will sound like a desperate call for sex but that's why I need advice in how to write it. I want it to be fun, give a taste of what used to be but make him realize this is his only chance cos I will only have a week, and if it's not him I'll find someone else. I would just rather it will be him as I don't really like meeting with strangers.

well I can see no matter what is said you want to just send the message - when a leo gets something into their heads its not for changing! My advice is to not contact him, he doesn't want to meet you...he has made this clear and you are not hearing him... but... if you are going to send a message why not post what your message will be and see what others think of it.

Because I'd rather not just put it up here, I can send this to you or anyone willing to give me opinions about it privately. But I'm too embarrassed to put this up here in a way.
And I really don't think he made it clear he doesn't want to see me, he never said anything like that. He said he doesn't want the sex talk (again, the future planning was part of the sex talk) which is fine, but I don't think it's like saying he doesn't want to meet.. 1. some people just prefer the real thing I suppose and the sex talk when we don't meet so soon might be a little pointless in his eyes. 2. possible he is really going through something that is temporary, as it sounds from the talks with him. 3. for so long he was talking about the next time I don't get the sudden change, and still hope that's temporary and deep down he still does want to meet even if we don't talk about what will happen. 4. possible of course you're right and he was trying to say he doesn't want to meet at all, but then I don't see the point in staying in touch, which he chose to do, he's known me long enough to know what I'm about and regular chats between us are pretty boring. Hence why I'm prepared to send the message and not talk to him again after, just so long as I know I've done what I wanted and it's done in my books.

Celtic you are very wise and gave aga some really positive lioness feedback and suggestions and you did what you could but aga is a young minded lioness and she is desperate and unfortunately there is nothing anyone can do to help her help herself, she'll crash and burn and be left to lick her fatalistic ego wounds all by herself, she has no pride, she is going to spend her hard earn money buying a plane ticket mind you uninvited like some delusional stalker chasing a man trying to convince him to like her again and it won't work, she'll look bad and wonder why she's not getting a warm receptive reaction/response but the reality is, it's over, he doesn't want to hurt her by saying go away, he's a gentlemen not a jerk, he hope she'll get it on her own but see how that works out, it doesn't work, you'll always have that one girl that won't let go and thus he'll be forced to delete her, block her and push her away anyway (he'll have to be the jerk) in this particular situation with this particular girl.

Keep us updated aga....

Posted by agalgalon
Because I'd rather not just put it up here, I can send this to you or anyone willing to give me opinions about it privately. But I'm too embarrassed to put this up here in a way.
And I really don't think he made it clear he doesn't want to see me, he never said anything like that. He said he doesn't want the sex talk (again, the future planning was part of the sex talk) which is fine, but I don't think it's like saying he doesn't want to meet.. 1. some people just prefer the real thing I suppose and the sex talk when we don't meet so soon might be a little pointless in his eyes. 2. possible he is really going through something that is temporary, as it sounds from the talks with him. 3. for so long he was talking about the next time I don't get the sudden change, and still hope that's temporary and deep down he still does want to meet even if we don't talk about what will happen. 4. possible of course you're right and he was trying to say he doesn't want to meet at all, but then I don't see the point in staying in touch, which he chose to do, he's known me long enough to know what I'm about and regular chats between us are pretty boring. Hence why I'm prepared to send the message and not talk to him again after, just so long as I know I've done what I wanted and it's done in my books.

Aga just stop being so damn desperate already...He hasn't brought up anything with you, it's you that is pushing for closure, you don't need closure, you just need to leave the guy alone and let him sort himself out and if he really is into you he'll come back to you without you saying or doing anything, the amount of pressure you provide with all the future planning about visiting is ridiculous, he doesn't want to see you b/c if he did he would bring it up, it's you bringing up all this relationship/friendship stuff b/c you are desperate, stop being this way, it's not serving you to be this way, you are just making matters worse. Don't send the desperate letter, leave the guy alone and stop pressuring him to give you what YOU WANT, he doesn't want what you want so just stop it, you are really looking and behaving ridiculous and very unattractive right now.

Go ahead do it, send the desperate letter and get more rejection...Keep hurting yourself, that's really fun isn't it.

I never said I wasn't stubborn, and I admitted to being desperate. For the record I have left him alone, I don't message him anymore, last time I stopped messaging him he contacted me. So now I'm not contacting him again, and I plan to send that one last message and be done with it, if he says no I delete him, if he doesn't say a word I simply don't message again, I just need to feel I've given it a go and that he knows I'm coming and that's all.

And you're just as stubborn as me cos you fail to understand I planned the trip way before I knew him, I've told him I plan to come again in February before we even met the first time around. The only difference is I had to move it sooner due to exams and it'll probably be December because I have tickets for shows and there's literally nothing for me to do there in January. So, yes, I plan to go anyway regardless if we ever speak again or not.
I just wanted to let him know enough time in advance so if he does want to meet, we'll have a chance, and if not then nevermind, I just need to know for myself I told him.
I don't bug him now but it was when this shit started and he started changing that I kept messaging a lot because I was used to the daily convos and back then was when I asked if he wants to stay friends at all and he claimed he does. I didn't actually think he'll reply back then but made it clear he does. So no, if anyone will delete anyone, it'll probably be me first. Because he's either not interested in talking to me at all and therefore doesn't give a shit and in which case, one last message won't really change much of the situation, or he's decided not to stay in touch for any reason but it's difficult for him hence still contacting me when I give him time off and still wanting to stay friends and in which case he'll have his time to think and perhaps decide he wants to meet.

And you keep saying I'm behaving unattractive and ridiculous but the reason I go to places like here and talk about it is because as much as I need my closure and miss him I DON'T contact him and all he sees are pictures of me hanging out at parties and whatever so no, I don't harrass him or seem like this to him.

And I find it extremely funny and confusing how here I just get everyone telling me he doesn't give a shit etc, but in another astrology forum in which I wrote the exact same message I've been told this is typical Taurus behaviour and that they tend to take 'time offs' and come back.

I would, honestly, but he doesn't read or respond to anyone's statuses, ever. He barely writes on his own wall. Even when we chatted daily if I'd write anything directed at him specifically he'd miss it out.

So I still rather contact him privately, and I do try to make the message sound as nice and non-desperate as possible. Which is the advice I wanted, just how to write it. I make it very clear in the letter that while I'd be happy to I'm letting him know now because I will only have a week and many other plans.

Posted by agalgalon
And I find it extremely funny and confusing how here I just get everyone telling me he doesn't give a shit etc, but in another astrology forum in which I wrote the exact same message I've been told this is typical Taurus behaviour and that they tend to take 'time offs' and come back.

And if you know this already then why are you acting so damn bananas? And chasing him through messaging him about some trip that he's not even a part of, it's your trip well go to your trip and stop tripping over this guy and acting like he should want to meet b/c YOU WANT TO MEET, it's not his trip, he's not obligated to see you again, he doesn't want to have sex talk nor future talk and he's treating you like a friend, someone he contacts occasionally but not enough to label your relationship anything else, it's not moving forward matter of fact it's moving backwards and when that happens well it's nothing left to do but move on.

You come here acting like you are HIGH on desperation and then back track and say oh no I'm not harassing him, I'm not initiating contact anymore, I'm not doing anything but that wasn't what you were saying when you first described your behavior over him.

And I like this calmer version of you, earlier you were acting like a complete desperate loser over this guy whose supposedly a loser at love but the only person looking like a loser at love is you, I think you have him defined all wrong, I didn't know what to make of your behavior earlier, it was extremely over the top but then your a leo so maybe that explains it.

I am a drama queen, I'm the most proper Leo you could find. And yes I was more bananas earlier cos I was still in the 'what the hell just happened' phase. Now I never said or thought that we HAVE to meet or whatever, I never said that he should want to meet. I just said I'm in need of guidance what to do now WITH REGARDS to my plan. I'm the kind of person who can't just let go, I need to know I've done my best then I'm over it. Which is why I'd like to mention it then be done with it.
I'd rather try and fail then not try at all. I deal better with someone saying they don't want to be with me, then someone giving me mixed signals. I haven't copied our conversations as that's too private but if I did you'd understand better, he never said he doesn't want to meet or talk anymore. It's possible he wants just friendship which I don't mind, I don't mind just meeting him as a friend which I also mentioned in the letter. I just need the honesty. And back when I wrote this message on the other forum I was holding myself from contacting him and because of the shock it was a little harder.. and ended up saying hi... but situation in my eyes changed since then and suppose I should have changed the message before posting it here too. Now I plan on waiting a little longer before sending that last message from my part.

I suppose I just think if it changed once, it can change again. And I'm prepared to give him time and space to do it, either way I move on to different stuff and things so either way I'll be over him. But I just always knew I need to send a message to make me feel like I'm done with my part first.

Posted by tiki33

Posted by agalgalon
I would, honestly, but he doesn't read or respond to anyone's statuses, ever. He barely writes on his own wall. Even when we chatted daily if I'd write anything directed at him specifically he'd miss it out.

So I still rather contact him privately, and I do try to make the message sound as nice and non-desperate as possible. Which is the advice I wanted, just how to write it. I make it very clear in the letter that while I'd be happy to I'm letting him know now because I will only have a week and many other plans.

If you tag him he won't miss out...Sending him a long ass letter won't help your situation, men (most) don't read long ass letters anyway, they skim LOL keep it super simple, tag the dude and keep it moving, he's not that important that he deserves so much of your attention, he's a friend and he's not obligated to meet up with you, it's your trip and it was planned before him so he really doesn't deserve the pressure you are bringing to him. Tag him let him decide and move on.

Personally I wouldn't contact him at all about a trip that doesn't have anything to do with him but I see your desperate to meet so do what you gotta do.

click to expand

I'm desperate to know I've mentioned it rather than actually meet. The letter is 3 sentences so not really a long ass letter lol I'd be way more embarrassed to put it up and tag, especially as I still don't think he'd look, he's very private with these things so I know it's best to do it privately, which is why I'm so stubborn regarding how it's done. I know him well enough to decide that. Plus I can not help but think to myself so yeah, we don't plan how we'll sleep together next time anymore cos he doesn't want to talk about it, but he hasn't said he doesn't want to meet and we talked about it long enough I might as well message him about it. I did write in the letter that while I know we don't talk about these things anymore, I just wanted to bring it up once. And I do bet he'll wonder why after I'll just disappear. Cos whenever I don't talk he wonders why.

Agalgalon, like myself, i don't take sudden changes very well, especially if things were going good. EVERYONES ego gets hurt if someone they like treats them this way, no matter what sign. What Leo's need are answers, we need to figure out what happened, why it happened, why the sudden change? However, in your case it's a fwb type relationship and nothing serious was really gonna happen from this because if it was really serious, he would make time for you. Trust me, my Taurus man makes time for me whenever he can, he writes his work schedule to fit my school schedule, we're both accommodating to one another, and we've been in a committed long distance relationship for almost 2 years. From what i've read so far, this doesn't sound like a man that is interested in you long term. Because if a man really loves you, he'll keep you in ur life and make you a priority.

It's really your chose in the end. I know you need closure before moving on and i know why u want to see him for one last time; so u two can talk about what's really going on. But its for YOU to get closure, not him.

choice*

Tiki, that's the thing, he didn't say he doesn't want to make future plans with me, he wrote I don't want the sex talk/future planning anymore. What he meant by the future planning was basically the sex talk, cos whenever we talked about sex we talked what we'll do next time, yes dirty stuff that should not be mentioned in any forum lol but it still means nothing with regards to meeting again, though, yes I'm not an idiot, I know current situation with that have been said I don't expect him to say 'yes I want to meet you' right now, but I want to bring it up so he'll know when there's still a possibility he'll have time and so I won't ask myself what would have happened if after.


delishhh, I think you truly understand me lol but our case we always called each other, and pardon my language "f--- buddies". I live in a completely different country, 5 hours away from the UK.. I go there 2-3 times a year every year though, which is why after we met we immediately started talking about the next time. I'm not looking for a long term thing, nor commitment. Heck, he can be with whoever he wants and he knows me well enough to know that if he ever said he's seeing someone I'd wish him luck, I did before once when he almost pulled before I came over lol but considering the nature and the honesty of this.. well, whatever it is, I find it odd he wants to leave me in his life at all, even if it's really just as friends. Cos we never talked about much else (he mostly talks about sports..). He knows me and how I'm like well, I never hid anything from him. Which is why we had such 'vibrant' conversations. So I believe if he does want to keep me in his life at all it's mainly to know he has me as an option, and heck that's why I'd keep him too. Which is why I want to tell him and then move on with my life. Wants to - cool depends if I'll still have time or not, doesn't want to - his loss. I pretty much wrote it like that too lol

oh and delishhh, the closure in my eyes woould be to just send it. If hell freezes over and we do meet again I wouldn't talk to him about this, I'd be more interested in going to a gig, lunch or any other type of fun again like we did before. I'm not looking to complicate things. I wanted to keep him in my life just for fun as how it was til 3 weeks ago. At least if we do meet and this happens again I won't be surprised.

"Tiki, that's the thing, he didn't say he doesn't want to make future plans with me, he wrote I don't want the sex talk/future planning anymore. "

LOL Okay are you dense? What do you think I don't want sex talk, future planning anymore means? He said I don't want future planning anymore so it's a word game with you now LOL, sweet lioness he said I don't want future planning anymore and it means exactly that, if he doesn't want future planning anymore, it means he doesn't want it with you, he doesn't want it and not wanting it means with you and not only could it not be with you, it could be with himself and with others, he doesn't want it.

So you bringing it up makes no sense, you are trying to future plan a date and that is not what he wants but for some reason you are being really thick headed over this matter. You are trying to do something he doesn't want to do and it doesn't make any sense.

If you want to be his option (your words) then you don't you have to tell him anything, just be there for him when show up, all the other stuff is dramatics, you haven't lost him, you haven't lost a friend, he's just not being the way he was but he's still around and if you truly don't want a commitment/real long term relationship then how he's behaving shouldn't much matter b/c you'll always be available when he does come around.

Tiki, he meant exactly what I already said - "What he meant by the future planning was basically the sex talk, cos whenever we talked about sex we talked what we'll do next time, yes dirty stuff that should not be mentioned in any forum lol but it still means nothing with regards to meeting again"
You clearly haven't read our conversations so you misunderstood it, but the reason he didn't write AND future planning but wrote '/' is because it was the same thing, our sex talks were just plans for the future.

And I won't always be available, because I don't always fly to the UK. I don't know when will be the next time after this. I'm giving him the option now, not interested, ok. Again, I don't really care, just need to know I told him.
If he does come around after the trip it'd be too late for a while, I don't when the next time will be. So really his loss. But I want him to know now so if he does plan on meeting again one day he'll know when's the next chance.

Personally I think when someone says he doesn't want conversations about positions (the sex talk/future planning was literally cyber sex) I don't think it means anything regarding actual meeting or anything else. And I know he meant the cyber sex because up til then these were our daily convos. So yeah, I don't think it immediately means anything regarding meeting. Of course as I said, I don't think he'll say yes to a meet now, but I also am certain he didn't mean it in that way. When someone doesn't enjoy talking about sex it doesn't mean he doesn't enjoy sex or doesn't want to meet the person he doesn't want to talk with about sex anymore lol

You just misunderstood the situation. Because, again, you don't know the kind of talks we had before. Which is why I don't see any wrong in bringing up a possible meet, I just don't expect a yes because of the change in behaviour but it wasn't that one saying that makes me think that but the whole change. That one saying really shouldn't influence me in any way whether to mention it or not because all he meant was he doesn't want to do cyber sex anymore, which is fine by me. Personally I thought he enjoyed those more than me.

Posted by tiki33

Posted by agalgalon
And I won't always be available, because I don't always fly to the UK. I don't know when will be the next time after this. I'm giving him the option now, not interested, ok. Again, I don't really care, just need to know I told him.
If he does come around after the trip it'd be too late for a while, I don't when the next time will be. So really his loss. But I want him to know now so if he does plan on meeting again one day he'll know when's the next chance.

It's not a loss, he's just a friend and you are blowing this way out of proportion, he's not on your schedule so he really isn't obligated to see you on a trip you intended on going to before he came into the picture, he's not interested in planning anything with you so yeah again blowing this way out of proportion, you yourself said you are okay with being his friend and being his option so be his, act like a friend/option by being there when and if he show up again.

click to expand

and I will be. But mentioning one final thing before I leave him alone entirely won't change anything imo, I just want him to know that and mostly know I said it and it's done.

Posted by agalgalon

Posted by tiki33

Posted by agalgalon
And I won't always be available, because I don't always fly to the UK. I don't know when will be the next time after this. I'm giving him the option now, not interested, ok. Again, I don't really care, just need to know I told him.
If he does come around after the trip it'd be too late for a while, I don't when the next time will be. So really his loss. But I want him to know now so if he does plan on meeting again one day he'll know when's the next chance.

It's not a loss, he's just a friend and you are blowing this way out of proportion, he's not on your schedule so he really isn't obligated to see you on a trip you intended on going to before he came into the picture, he's not interested in planning anything with you so yeah again blowing this way out of proportion, you yourself said you are okay with being his friend and being his option so be his, act like a friend/option by being there when and if he show up again.

and I will be. But mentioning one final thing before I leave him alone entirely won't change anything imo, I just want him to know that and mostly know I said it and it's done.

click to expand

And good luck with that....

I know I'm repeating but FUTURE PLANNING = Sex talk, that's what he meant. We never actually talked about the next time we meet without talking about sex. We never brought it up in a serious manner.
Again, I'm not a fool, I know he probably does not want to meet and I respect his decision, we haven't talked about sex since then, but bringing up the fact I'm coming over in December imo won't make him think 'I told her not to talk to me about it anymore' because it wasn't what he meant, it's not the type of conversation he meant. And while I'm caught up in the whole case, I'm also the one who talked to him before and that's why I never thought for a second he meant anything else, I know him, I spoke to him long enough, you took a line from my story and read it differently.

I also am aware it's highly possible he's completely not interested in me now, but I know it might change again in time and therefore want him to know that.

Seems to me he's just trying to be nice and still keep u in your life but only on friendship terms hence why he said no more sex talk and all that. Maybe he feels guilty about the sex talk because he has feelings for someone else & feels loyal to that person?

delishhh, perhaps, but I do think he'd say if he had someone else. I mean, we talked about others before when we were actually more involved and slept together so I don't see why not be honest now. Especially since I did bring it up and he said 'of course I'd tell you if I had someone'. But either way, if that's the case I wish him nothing but luck. And like I said, we were really never friends-friends. So I found it odd he decided to keep me at all. And that he still initiates contact when I don't. Which is what makes me think it might change back in the future. But either way I plan not to contact him again except for that one final message.

Bleh I'm hiding my comments, really hard to talk to a desperate woman, can't listen without your desperation interceding and misinterpreting, you appear pretty much hell bent on being desperate.

I agree with tiki, no matter what we say, at the end of the day its ur choice, but ur just gonna get ur heart broken expecting for something that won't happen.

delishhh, again, I won't get my heartbroken because I'd rather get a no than nothing at all.

But out of curiousity, seeing as you're with a Taurus, do you think there's a possibility it'll ever change back? I mean, not just in time for the trip, but generally.. I know if it does it can be just a cycle and get to this point again but next time I won't be surprised, cos I've been there. I just wonder if there's any point in leaving him in my list at all after, if I am an option for a possible far away date.
At first it was difficult for me not to contact him but now I can not contact for ages and wonder if it could change back some day if I keep the ignoring.

(and last post is going by stuff I've been told at another forum and by a simple google search 'when a Taurus ignores you' lol)

You're coming off desperate, and that has already scared him away. I think you need to find someone to date in ur area. I'm sure he's already thought about the long run, and he wants something serious, and u being that far away is not going to work out for him. I can't predict what ur Taurus friend is gonna do, but from what he's said to you, he doesn't wanna plan for the future so that's all u really need to hear to just give up on this guy as a fuck buddy. For him to say he doesn't wanna talk about sex anymore, basically means he's done being FWB. Isn't that crystal clear? C'monnnn

Oh dear. I just sent a note to the Ingaurus (Taurus ignoring me after he said he would keep in touch.)
A really shitty bad thing happened and I just let him know someone gave a rats about him.

*bang head with hoof*
Mea culpa.
Fuck it - I am an Aries. I am not supposed to give a toss about anyone.........what is wrong with me?

**Ignaurus - sorry - making up new words on the spot....although I may feel liking "gauring" him!!!!!

right, i messaged the taurus today, the message as planned, nice and a little suggestive and said i can't make it in feb and it'll either be dec or jan.

he replied saying december is pretty hectic for him, and said why, but then said 'if you come over in january i'm more likely to be free'.

i replied saying i'll let him know as i prefer to come in december because there's more gigs there but it depends on money and my friend from prague (who's going to be with me probably).


so yeah, i was expecting a 'no' like most people said here, and surprisingly didn't get it. i was a little suggestive but not too much so i expect or hope he knows i haven't changed, and want the same things as before even though we don't talk about them anymore, and therefore the fact he wants to meet is cos he wants it too. i suppose maybe a part of him still does.
now i'm leaving him alone for a few weeks til i know for sure when i come over. of course i know there's a possibility he was just trying to be nice, cos it's a little weird we rarely talk and it's always boring convos and he know me and what i'm about and still prepared to meet.. but then i'll have fun either way, just wanted him to know 🙂 so very glad i sent it.

LOL Wait...Just wait, you are making plans and watch how that turns out, most of us know the outcome but you'll have to see for yourself. Whatever pain you get, well you deserve it.

Posted by tiki33
LOL Wait...Just wait, you are making plans and watch how that turns out, most of us know the outcome but you'll have to see for yourself. Whatever pain you get, well you deserve it.

I love how nice and friendly you are and can't even admit you were wrong 🙂 Notice what I wrote, I know we might still not meet, but all I wanted was to send the message, I did and no harm was done so I'm good. And I'm going to the UK and will be with a friend anyway so I will have fun anyway!
Just found it surprising because I was expecting a no, he could have been nice about it as well and just said he was busy, but instead he explained why December is probably no and mentioned Jan is more likely a yes, I never asked for explanations, just gave him a heads up.

You'll see LOL, but if it makes you feel better...I'm wrong, wrong, wrong you are right.