Hello all - I am new here and have only come and created an account because I have this question that I can't seem to put out of my mind. Let me start by saying that I am 32, and a scorpio sun/pisces moon.
The question I have is about someone who was/is still? the love of my life, who I lost 2 years ago, but has since returned 4 days ago and I can't let it go - I keep wondering now what will happen between us or what this means.
The story is long but I will give a synopsis here as best I can. If you pisceans could help shed some light on this, I would really appreciate it. Thanks in advance.
My ex is a pisces sun/taurus moon. He is 7 years younger than me. Two years ago we were both living overseas when we met (we are both from the USA), and he insisted on dating me even though I thought I was too old for him. Finally I gave in, because I was in love with him and I tired of denying it. We had the most beautiful few months at first, then after I decided to come back to the USA, he decided to follow suit as he was getting out of the military, and would be starting his life from scratch. I knew this would be a difficult time for him, as adjustment is hard, but after we both arrived in the USA and moved in together, he just changed a lot. He did the typical pisces things that *we* (I am a pisces moon, I get it!) do, like pull away or disappear into another "world" even if he was present physically. Eventually, he decided to take a job overseas again, because he was having such a hard time coping with the readjustment. It was a lot, we were living in a high danger country and working in very difficult and "hot" places - facing bombings and terrorist attacks and refugees pouring in from neighboring countries, then he came back to the quiet life of here, and couldn't take it. So he took that job and left. He told me he had made a mistake, that he didn't have feelings for me, and that he didn't want to be with me, and he left. I was devastated. That was 2 years ago and since then I have moved-on-ish, and dated many new guys and just readjusted my life accordingly. We didn't talk at all, and I told him to not contact me (Scorpio...lol I know I know..)
Fast forward to 4 days ago. he had been on my mind on and off for weeks out of the blue - nothing in particular I could just *feel* his energy and this happens to me a lot. Then on Friday out of the blue, he messages me. We small-talked a little at first and it was nice. After a while, we started talking about us, our feelings, and everything and how it had happened between us. In a nutshell, he told me he knew without a doubt that he would see me again. In fact, he was in my city (where I live in the USA) a few months back but hadn't contacted me cause He thought I hated him, even though he wanted to. He told me he was sorry, that he had messed up, that he had been in the wrong state of mind, and he knew now that he had pushed me away. He went on to say that he hadn't even felt the way he did about me about anyone else, and that i was the only person he felt ever understood him. I cried so hard in front of him (this on video chat) and I told him even though he was far away, that I still loved him and even though i had said I hated him it wasn't true, that i really believed he was the one, and that it would be a huge regret if i let go without putting up a fight now. He was quiet. He didn't really reply to all of that only to say it was a lot to take in. Since then he has been chatting me all day everyday on FB messenger. He is still overseas and lives in Asia, so it's pretty far/big time difference. But he also told me that "even though he wished things would have gone differently between us, he wasn't sure that anything had changed and that maybe that would show if he came back." He also said he didn't believe we were a bad fit, just our timing was off. I agree with that, but a small part of me really wishes for it to work anyways. I am willing to make the sacrifice, but I don't know if he is, I have asked him, but he gave me vague piscean answers like, "no one knows the future". He told me he loves me, and we have been talking everyday since that initial contact. Its been 5 days. I am not sure what any of this means!
I don't want to get hurt again. Does he have hope like I do? Or is he just being sentimental, nostalgic pisces??
We video-talked today and he told me he has "a friend" in his life there (where he lives). But that its just a mutual friend with benefits kinda thing. He then said he had "a lot to think about". I don't really know what that means... because its not like I said anything about he and i being together the last 5 days... or anything like that, though I think he is thinking about me quite a bit. I have nioticed he texts me the second he wakes up to get ready for work... its been like this the last 5 days. Is he bored over there or is he seriously "considering all of this"? Before you say, ask him, .. let me tell y'all, I have ! He just says "its a lot to consider, and yes, I do think about it and miss you." But he doesn't elaborate. I asked him if he would let me visit him there, and he said yes.
Am I just an ex? Am I "the ex"? IDK... I am scared, because I feel like I have hope and IDK if I want hope. and its only been 5 days.,