Taurus Rant

After years of marraige to a Taurus, I have come to a conclusion. Don't marry one. Live with them, prosper, be happy. Once you marry one, they have a way to subtly make your life hell.

They can be controlling, stubborn, and downright secretive, not to mention not too bright, common sence is not one of their atributes. Telling you only what they think you should know. Stand up to them, and they will laugh at you, because they think what you have to say is just some silly female rambling, and it will all blow over.....so they ignore you until you cool down.

A rational discussion is beyond them, as they have already made up thier mind such conversation is a waste of time. No physical abuse, but each little emotional bombshell, is another scar on the relationship. My time will come, when I can say "see ya". But at this point, I am financially unable to take care of myself and my child. So you handle it as best you can.

So, a word of warning, it took 15 years for this man to show his colors. Don't be fooled like I was.

You sound strong but very very hurt!! I can feel it! I don't know what to do or say to make you feel any better. Can you maybe get him to consider marriage counseling— Most men won't go for that, but there is still hope that you two with some good therapy can pull it together. Do you still love him? It's really none of my business, but if you do, I would say never give up!!
S

Been working on this situation for the last 10 years, so, I have been trying from 5 years into the marriage. Done the counseling thing. Still love him, in my own way, but not as a husband. He is too dense to see what he is doing, or has done, and if he knows, well, then, that is plain spiteful. I had other marriages before, that I did give up on. Said I would stick this one out hell or high water. But...it's impossible to keep trying with someone that doesn't see what they risk loosing, because they just don't get it.

Pain goes away eventually. I think it is more painful to keep trying to save a sinking ship. Too much life to live still to go down with it.

If you are saying that every Taurus husband has a 15 year plan to deceive his spouse from his true demonistic self, then I would have to say that it is not the norm. You just seem to have married one. But please leave the rest of us Taurus males out of it, OK? When you think about it, that is only fair.

Sorry it happened to you, though.

Taurus Male

I am also sorry this happened to you. I am curious...what is your sign?

And I think it's possible that you just happened to end up with a jerk, rather than a typical Taurus. Some of his personality traits do match up, but they seem to be bordering on the extreme.

Aries.

208,

Ok then, it sounds like you have done everything you could!!!

To all the others who are getting bent about her ranting, how about a little slack!! Let her get it out, and don't be so damn sensitive!!!

S.

Alrighty then.....let me tell you what I just experienced. I AM not blaming a Taurus because this person just happens to be one...this could be anyone who could do this.

I have never gone out with a Taurus male before...he asked me out awhile ago for dinner and we had a great time. I really enjoyed being with him. He has been divorced for awhile and so have I. All of a sudden, nothing...he just dropped out. I would see him sometimes and he would say hi but nothing other than that. Then, he calls and says he would like to catch up and meet for lunch. I said, sure....that would be fun. He said he would come by my office on Thurs. to make plans for Friday....he did not show up...oh, he did walk past my office but never came in. He comes by this morning and says, "sorry I didn't get up with you last week"....in the past I would have replied, "oh, that's okay". This time, it wasn't...it was very irresponsible of him. I do not need to have this stuff in my life...I just looked at him and went back to work. He had to leave as he was in a hurry. He came back later to ask me out again for later this week. I boo-booed...I said, well....I am not sure what I am doing and I will let you know. I have no intentions of meeting him for lunch and I should have said so right then and there. I am going to call him tomorrow and tell him that I cannot meet with him. I don't understand why someone cannot keep their word or call if they cannot make it. I experienced this behavior in my last marriage and will NOT tolerate it ever again. I do not think that this is a Taraus trait but just a human inconsideration that one has not learned yet. I'm hoping so anyway. Any advice would be nice....feel free TM

Thanks,
AFx2

Hi,

Interestingly enough I too know a taurus male who has this trait. Organises to meet or call and then without any warning doesn't show and then proceeds to act as though nothing is wrong when he decides to make contact. Also if anything is said you are told you are overreacting, no big deal and a million pathetic excuses to justify such inconsideration rolls out.
No Idea.

Taurus Male here:

Can't really explain why someone would say, "I will meet you" and just not show up. Common courtesy does not seem to be practiced as much as it should.
It has happened to me and it is distressing. Just getting to a phone and calling to notify a change in plan is relatively easy, but not for some. So, I cannot defend this act, nor do I want to.....I just don't think it is a standard Taurus act. I never have practiced it, nor see the validity of doing it. (a no show, no call...is a no go in my books, unless of course, they are in the hospital with a tube up their mouth or something that restrictive.

So, that is how I feel about that sort of thing.

TM

(from astrology-horoscopes.com)

Aries with Taurus

Aries: Fire - Cardinal - Positive Ruled by Mars
Symbol: The Ram
Day Forces: Masculine

Taurus: Earth - Fixed - Negative
Ruled by Venus (also by the Planet Pan-Horus) Symbol: The Bull
Night Forces: Feminine

All that Taurean sensuality sends shivers down a Ram's spine. Taurus makes a wonderful friend and is as steady as a rock. The Mars-ruled lover or friend will add excitement into a Taurean's life. Because Rams and Bulls have tough horns, the determination of Aries and the stubbornness of Taurus might seem to be identical traits . They are not. Determination initiates. Stubbornness reacts. The first is a Positive action. The second is a negative re-action. Therefore, in any clash between Aries and Taurus, the Ram starts it and the Bull finishes it. Rams are inclined to be aggressive, impulsive, bossy, extravagant, talkative and optimistic. They pursue excitement and quick results and they require a dash of magic to make life interesting. Bulls are inclined to be reserved, practical, usually sparing with words and self-sufficient, though somewhat pessimistic. They pursue stability, solitude and they require lots of tranquility to make life bearable. You can see that these people are not the Bobbsey Twins. Because this is a 2-12 Sun Sign Pattern association, the Taurean is more apt to be tolerant and sympathetic toward the Ram and the Aries will try to imitate the Bull's placid stability.


~Just thought this was interesting...

-phoenix_rising

Very interesting. Thank you for posting that. Yes, his placidity rubbed off on me for many years. I have learned patience from him. But he has become a person without drive, happy in his rut, and quite pessamistic. And the Aries I am, I enjoy a good conversation, and am optimistic, looking on the positive side of most things.

And that is not what he wants. He would be happy with someone that will sit and quietly grow old, and watch life pass them by. I tend to be philisophical, he has no idea what I am talking about. And is not interested in learning about it.

I think that people, no matter what their astrological signs grow in different directions. Sometimes it takes a bit longer than it does for others.

Taurus Man, forgive the generalization, not meant to all Taurus' in general.

208; no problem my dear! ; )

And yes, you have a good point. Even when 2 astrological signs are considered "compatible" by the book, it's still possible that they grow in different directions. I wish you happiness--and I know that you won't have that if he continues to prefer pessimism and staying stuck in a rut. Well, I do hope that the two of you can work it out, but if you know for certain it's too far gone, then try to remain friends, and if that's not possible, then go off on your own adventure and consider it water under the bridge. All good people deserve happiness...I hope you both either find it with each other or find it on your own. : )

phoenix_rising

Number one, You should have made yourself SELF SUFFICIENT (for you and your child) before making comments on a so-called Taurus Male who in your words is "not too bright". It looks like you're the the one who needs light! You can't even take care of yourself, maybe he feels that your not pulling your weight because most often Tauruses are "builders". He probably has to "carry" you along.

Eventhough men "claim that they want a woman to take care of home, you know all that stuff, most really want a WOMAN who can stand their own ground. You leave no challenge for your husband. After all those years, did it occur to you that he thinks your "not too bright" and is tired of YOU. Maybe he wants to say "SEE YA" but considering he's a Taurus that probably won't happen because we as Tauruses are loyal to family.

Plus on top of that you stated that you had "other marriages". What, give me a break. Don't judge people by their zodiac sign or anything else for that matter. It is the individual themselves and that can't be stressed enough on this board. It sounds juvenile and ignorant when people stoop to a level of making someone that they once loved seem bad and put them in a horrible light. I mean you're the one with him in the first place.

I'm not trying to make you feel bad, just giving you an insight of my thoughts and hoping you can understand yours.

Taurus Female (ML)

To add to that I would appreciate it if no one jumped down my throat for the above comment. Because I know that will happen. Just stating an opinion just like you.

When it boils down to it, if she's tired and had enough SHE CAN LEAVE simple. I'm sure she's a big girl.

TF

It is wrong to judge him just because he's a Taurus Male. That is silly. It is not appropriate to humiliate him by saying he isn't bright -- or saying other things either. Perhaps she nags him too. No one likes to be nagged. I believe in nurturing someone but there is a difference between nurturing and being a nag. And forgive me for saying this but maybe she isn't taking care of his needs -- only her child's needs. He may feel neglected in this relationship. Men like to be taken care of and feel wanted.

I'm wondering if she isn't giving him enough time to think about things too when she communicates with him. I find it hard to believe it's all his fault. Yes, I'm sure he has faults -- as we all do -- but it seems unrealistic that he is all to blame in the relationship. She really should ask herself what she is doing as well. Maybe she is unhappy within herself. Men do appreciate strong women.

I am not judging here but based on what she wrote, I am just giving my opinion as well. And I do wonder how many previous marriages there were.

AF (Sidekick)

What gives security to one, may be a rut for another. I think many people put themselves in a rut, when you think about it. And with all that goes on in this wide world, there is really no reason for it. It is a shame that people don't want to put out the effort to keep life interesting for themselves and their loved ones. Life is exciting, and all one has to do is reach out and experience it.(even if it is to just enjoy some simple pleasures)

When my father was dying, he regretted not doing those things he really wanted to do, but didn't because he worked all the time to be a good provider. He was struck down with cancer before he could enjoy his retirement. So, enjoy life as much as you can now, and if others just don't want to join you, so be it.
(it is their loss)

TM

I just wanted to say hello to you Taurus Male. I am sorry for your loss as too. But I can relate to cancer; My mom was struck with it as well but she was very lucky and survived -- is doing very well.

AF (Sidekick)

oops....I meant too, not "as too".

Most interesting responses. But to make it clear. I have stood on my own feet, and been independent all of my life. His only requirement as stated by him, was take care of the house, him, and any children we may have.

At the time, I accepted that. Several times I have offered to get a job over the last 15 years, and have been told once more, I want you to do what you have been doing. I take people at their word....as I did him.

Yes, it works both ways. Nagging? Well, to that I have to smile. In our time together, I have made no demands of this man other than what he chose to give. I have never been in his ear nagging or demanding. Those mistakes I made before and learned from them.

When the romance is gone, no matter how hard one tries, you can't please someone that wants nothing to do with you. As a wife taking care of a husband, he has to want what you have to offer, no dice...so as a woman, you quit trying to physically please someone when the turndowns blatent.

So...becoming self sufficient is something that is being worked on. Still remaining faithful, on my part, as I have no idea with him, is being followed. And when the time presents itself...well...things will happen.

in the mean time, yes, I still consider us friends, and we do get along without too much friction.

I'm not an advocate of divorce aries female, but if you really want out, please help yourself by getting a job, and then an apartment. After that, everything else is a bit simpler.
Good luck in reclaiming your life.

Libra female.

I agree with the Libra above, and I also wish you good luck. You can do it, no matter what your decision is! Aries is a very strong sign. You will be alright! : )