Taurus Relationship distant and confusing

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Roam
@Roam
11 Years

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Sorry. Wanted to make sure I could delete this if I wanted to.

So I havent seen my Taurus in going on three weeks. He's my boyfriend. :\. He started his masters degree semester late..three weeks late and he has to have a B average to remain in the program so he has pretty much twice as much school work. Then he is a musician. He gigs on Tuesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday and sometimes Sunday nights so night are never ours. When we first got together he told me about his school work being three weeks behind but I saw him at least once a week. Now it's been a whole month and when I ask to see him he LITERALLY does not respond. He doesnt say ANYTHING. This is through text btw. His Moon is in Aquarius and his Venus is in Gemini if that helps. I'm a Libra. It's going on three weeks. He was supposed to see me yesterday but his mom according to him used the car later than he expected. But when I texted him about rescheduling...of course no response. And the ONLY reason we even scheduled to see each other yesterday was because I nagged him about it. I sent him a text message this morning about how I dont like how he doesnt respond and he has yet to answer. It's 12:42 pm. What is so hard in saying "I dont know yet babe"....

Why do you think he's doing this?

Is he trying to control me into getting used to his busy schedule?

Is he ashamed of being so busy and not comfortable with opening up?

He's not a phone person so we dont talk on the phone at all. Everything is through text and these past two weeks going on three he has sent about three texts...when I respond thats it...nothing else.


Where the heck is his mind?
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Nyxx
@phEnyxBull876
11 YearsTaurus

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It sounds like his mind isn't on you, that's for sure.

I talk to my BF all day while I'm at work, and I'm busy as fuck. The way I see it...he's got time during or between classes to call/text you. He's got 2-3 nights a week free to see you. And sure he's gigging or doing school work, but if I really wanted to see my BF, I'd tell him come to my gig and we hang after, or come to the library while I study, etc. There's ways around everything no matter how busy you are. So if he's not making an effort...Masters degree or not, you're not a priority.

You don't have to be the #1 priority, but you still have to *A* priority in order to maintain a relationship. Otherwise, what's the point?

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Roam
@Roam
11 Years

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Posted by phEnyxBull876
It sounds like his mind isn't on you, that's for sure.

I talk to my BF all day while I'm at work, and I'm busy as fuck. The way I see it...he's got time during or between classes to call/text you. He's got 2-3 nights a week free to see you. And sure he's gigging or doing school work, but if I really wanted to see my BF, I'd tell him come to my gig and we hang after, or come to the library while I study, etc. There's ways around everything no matter how busy you are. So if he's not making an effort...Masters degree or not, you're not a priority.

You don't have to be the #1 priority, but you still have to *A* priority in order to maintain a relationship. Otherwise, what's the point?

Yea. I just think it's the school work thats stopping him because he basically has 80 hours of school work a week plus gigs. I just dont know why he doesnt respond when I reach out to him about seeing him. Why can't he just say "I'm busy this week" I get completely ignored. Thats why I'm in the Taurus board...maybe its a Taurus thing when they feel out of control...I dunno.
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Nyxx
@phEnyxBull876
11 YearsTaurus

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That's not a Taurus thing... Sounds like he has some cancer in him. But i sure wouldn't let that slide. School or no school, he needs to shape up, and you need to speak up.

People come along all the time. And circumstances can push people together just as much as they can pull people apart. Let this be a peek into your potential future with him. If this is how he deals with stress, and you can't handle it, make the decision that's best for you, because that's what he is doing for himself right now.
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Roam
@Roam
11 Years

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Posted by phEnyxBull876
That's not a Taurus thing... Sounds like he has some cancer in him. But i sure wouldn't let that slide. School or no school, he needs to shape up, and you need to speak up.

People come along all the time. And circumstances can push people together just as much as they can pull people apart. Let this be a peek into your potential future with him. If this is how he deals with stress, and you can't handle it, make the decision that's best for you, because that's what he is doing for himself right now.



I spoke up about it yesterday. He agreed at trying to change. Then I ask him when I'm going to see him and he doesnt respond. I, thanks to the positions of the planets today didnt let it piss me off and go off on him. I'm really thinking at this point since he didnt respond after I mentioned it...that it's a TAURUS thing. I think he's trying to control me into not trying to see him when I know he's THIS busy. & I dont like it :/
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Roam
@Roam
11 Years

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Posted by cheekyfaerie
Posted by phEnyxBull876
Man, Venus in Gemini gets such a bad rap! I would (easier?) say its more like, its easy for our attention to wander if our needs aren't being met. But whether they choose to cheat or not is based on maturity and experience, not a guarantee based on planetary placements.

If anything, I think his moon in Aquarius PLUS Venus Gemini speaks more to how he's behaving right now.



Think your first comment was on the money...

If someone's truly interested, they make the time. If they're not putting in the leg work, they're not that serious. Like you said, one can't expect to come along and immediately be priority #1, but they hafta at least be *a* priority. Otherwise no progress is made and you devalue yourself by putting up with the absentee behavior.
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I dont think I'm devaluing myself...he in no way shape or form VALIDATES me or my worth. I am whole without him.
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Roam
@Roam
11 Years

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Posted by cheekyfaerie
Posted by Roam
Posted by cheekyfaerie
Maybe *he* should be the one hoping no one comes along for you. Do what makes you happy, but don't sell yourself short.

He may be a little over confident. He's very spiritual and has a lot of good...credentials if that makes sense...his character has been proven for years to be good. So it isnt just a connection that brought us together...we have marriage material.



So you've known him for years, but have only been together together for a few months? The first post makes it sound as tho you've only been bf/gf for a short time.
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No we havent known each other long but I know his past. He's a stand up man. I just think he's a Taurus trying to manipulate me into not saying anything. Trying to train me because I already know WHY he's busy so he shouldnt have to explain or change in his mind. Plus he's a 4 in numerology. THE most stubborn number. Stuck in their ways and dont budge.
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Nyxx
@phEnyxBull876
11 YearsTaurus

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By needs to be met, i did not mean sex.

Again, this is not a Taurus thing. It's a HIM thing. Just because he IS a Taurus doesn't mean everything he does is BECAUSE he is a Taurus.

Not sure what else you want us to say. He's not investing time in you right now, you're sticking around playing nice and talking to a phone while he's busy not making time for you. And you admit you don't like it... But make a lot of excuses at to why you think you should put up with it.

He's not trying to manipulate you. You're trying to manipulate yourself into thinking he's worth putting up with this for.
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Roam
@Roam
11 Years

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Posted by phEnyxBull876
By needs to be met, i did not mean sex.

Again, this is not a Taurus thing. It's a HIM thing. Just because he IS a Taurus doesn't mean everything he does is BECAUSE he is a Taurus.

Not sure what else you want us to say. He's not investing time in you right now, you're sticking around playing nice and talking to a phone while he's busy not making time for you. And you admit you don't like it... But make a lot of excuses at to why you think you should put up with it.

He's not trying to manipulate you. You're trying to manipulate yourself into thinking he's worth putting up with this for.

Him not investing time wasnt the issue. It was the lack of communication about it. That's was my point this whole time. I know why he's not making as much time as I want. He's busy. But the lack of response I just can't take.

Any who, he surprised me!! Oh I'm so happy. I love my Taurus. And I got on him about it. He said he was sorry and that his extra school work was done.

See you all shouldnt read so deep into things! I said the man was busy. School and work come first. -shrugs- and he just happened to have a double load. My man is interested. He just has that Aquarius moon and passive controlling Taurus stuff goin on.
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Roam
@Roam
11 Years

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Posted by cheekyfaerie
Posted by Roam
Posted by cheekyfaerie
Posted by phEnyxBull876
Man, Venus in Gemini gets such a bad rap! I would (easier?) say its more like, its easy for our attention to wander if our needs aren't being met. But whether they choose to cheat or not is based on maturity and experience, not a guarantee based on planetary placements.

If anything, I think his moon in Aquarius PLUS Venus Gemini speaks more to how he's behaving right now.



Think your first comment was on the money...

If someone's truly interested, they make the time. If they're not putting in the leg work, they're not that serious. Like you said, one can't expect to come along and immediately be priority #1, but they hafta at least be *a* priority. Otherwise no progress is made and you devalue yourself by putting up with the absentee behavior.

I dont think I'm devaluing myself...he in no way shape or form VALIDATES me or my worth. I am whole without him.



It's the fact you teach people how to treat you.

According to you, he's trying to condition you into being ok with only seeing each other once every three weeks and it sounds like you live in the same city. If you're ok with that, that's none of my business. I'm only saying busy is a reason until it becomes an excuse. How much of that you're willing to put up with is exactly what you're gonna get.
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....no I was saying I think he's trying to condition me into being okay with him not RESPONDING to my texts. I KNOW why I hadn't seen him in three weeks. He was busy. He came over last night surprised me...coincidently...his school work overload was finished.
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Roam
@Roam
11 Years

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Posted by Koniucha
Posted by Roam
Posted by phEnyxBull876
By needs to be met, i did not mean sex.

Again, this is not a Taurus thing. It's a HIM thing. Just because he IS a Taurus doesn't mean everything he does is BECAUSE he is a Taurus.

Not sure what else you want us to say. He's not investing time in you right now, you're sticking around playing nice and talking to a phone while he's busy not making time for you. And you admit you don't like it... But make a lot of excuses at to why you think you should put up with it.

He's not trying to manipulate you. You're trying to manipulate yourself into thinking he's worth putting up with this for.

Him not investing time wasnt the issue. It was the lack of communication about it. That's was my point this whole time. I know why he's not making as much time as I want. He's busy. But the lack of response I just can't take.

Any who, he surprised me!! Oh I'm so happy. I love my Taurus. And I got on him about it. He said he was sorry and that his extra school work was done.

See you all shouldnt read so deep into things! I said the man was busy. School and work come first. -shrugs- and he just happened to have a double load. My man is interested. He just has that Aquarius moon and passive controlling Taurus stuff goin on.



Then why are you asking us our opinion if you know what is going on??
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...I asked your opinion about his lack of communication....hence in the posted you quoted where I said "him not investing time wasn't the issue. Its the lack of communication" that's what I was confused about. My question in the initial post was is this a TAURUS thing. And more so why.
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Roam
@Roam
11 Years

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alright...it wasn't too late to do much else. I'm not some random chick he met. I'm an understanding women that supports his life style . Clearly you read that he had band stuff to do. As I said before he works as a MUSICIAN. that's how he pays his rent. Has no reflection on how he values me...that's your problem with men....not mine. I Dont get in relationships with a man if I'm still questioning everything your trying to make me question. Get over yourself and think about why your projecting your own insecurities with men on me. 🙂 I'm dating a busy man working towards his masters and talented enough to make a living off of his talent..which means he's going to be busy...and instead of being happy for me you want to make me feel insecure. WOMP WOMP Not buying it.

Posted by cheekyfaerie
Posted by Roam
Posted by phEnyxBull876
Mmkay, then I hope we don't see you hear in a week asking why he's ignoring you again.

Did y'all have sex last night?

In any case, woohoo. You knew the answer all along!

I guess I did. Yes we did. ^_^. I won't I'll just deal with it if he does. I get him.



Aaand he just came over when it was too late to do much else, had sex with you and didn't even have the decency to stay the night?

Good luck. I'm out.
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Roam
@Roam
11 Years

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Posted by Hotbeefy
Posted by Roam
This has to do with him not responding when I ask to see him. Not why I haven't. Should've been more clear about that in beginning but I was just venting.



...
Yes venting...in other words instead of making it more about what I was confused about...I told all the details instead of acknowledging what I was confused about and what I wasn't confused about. I just show a nadty side in that response...you're just reading into it like that.
Sent him a text message this morning about how I dont like how he doesnt respond and he has yet to answer. It's 12:42 pm. What is so hard in saying "I dont know yet babe"....

Why do you think he's doing this?

Is he trying to control me into getting used to his busy schedule?

Is he ashamed of being so busy and not comfortable with opening up?

He's not a phone person so we dont talk on the phone at all. Everything is through text and these past two weeks going on three he has sent about three texts...when I respond thats it...nothing else.


Where the heck is his mind?



Calling a venting? You were asking us in the beginning. Suddenly you showed the nasty side after this:

See you all shouldnt read so deep into things! I said the man was busy. School and work come first. -shrugs- and he just happened to have a double load. My man is interested. He just has that Aquarius moon and passive controlling Taurus stuff goin on.

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Roam
@Roam
11 Years

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ing being busy if he works and has an 80 hour school load plus he is a youth pastor so he has to be up on Sundays at 7...teach at nine then play for the church during service. HE LITERALLY had no time...he is his priority. He's not hiding behind anything...that's his real life. But for some reason you don't get it.

I have heard that Taurus men don't respond for various reason so yes it has Ben said that it is a Taurus thing...because they want to be in charge and control. Even when he explained it last night he was like "if you know what I'm doing then why would you second guess?" He said this after I asked why he didnt respond and after I said I know what he was doing but was still second guessing. Maybe your Taurus doesnt do that but Taurus have been known to passively try to control in relationships. I simply wanted more opinions.

If you can't see how a 80 hour school load and work and ministry isn't hiding behind busy then I dont know what to tell you.

Our relationship is still new. We got in relationship FAST so he is still in his slow phase in terms of feeling me out and seeing how I'll respond to things.

He made an EFFORT to focus on his priorities first and take a breather to himself. He even mentioned how he's on the move a lot when I asked about responding. That points to a Taurus trait too...then like to contemplate things before making decisions and his life at that time just didn't allow him to. Now granted that's not an excuse but I think that wanting that need to contemplate is just a Taurus thing that they need to adjust to...depending on the Taurus. Plus his indecisive Venus in Gemini adds to it too. He can't make up his mind how he's going to lovingly fix the issue so he just focuses on priorities. This man had a deadline...not just 80 hours of school PLUS work mainly on nights. So...whatever
Posted by cheekyfaerie
Posted by Roam
Oh your a Scorpio moon...I get it...JEALOUS.
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Fuck it. I'm back.

Now *your* insecurity is showing.

What the rest of us are trying to tell you is that the lack of communication is only the little issue here. The big issue is hiding behind busy. It's great that you're understanding, but there is such a thing as too much understanding. It starts to become a lot like denial.

To answer your question, no. Not respond
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Roam
@Roam
11 Years

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Its worth it because I like my space. I Dont like a man texting me everyday wanting to see me all the time...a man who isn't I to the same spiritual pursuits as I am. We have a lot if the same passions and knowledge and we enhance each other. I don't want a man whose relationship is the center of his life. So he works for me. He isn't normally that busy. He had work to make up.
Posted by cheekyfaerie
Then I revert back to my first post. I don't understand what makes this worth it to you, but that's not my place. Again, I say good luck.

You're right that a Taurus man likes to set the pace and will probably end up doing it one way or the other. That said, I don't think he's trying to train you not to expect texts when he's busy. He knows all the stuff he has going on and if he still likes you enough that he wants to give this a go, I'd think the least he could do is text you. I'm not trying to be harsh when I say that really is about the minimal amount of effort a person can give. If he can't do at least that on a more regular basis, that's pretty selfish on his part.

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Roam
@Roam
11 Years

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Posted by Hotbeefy
Yes venting...in other words instead of making it more about what I was confused about...I told all the details instead of acknowledging what I was confused about and what I wasn't confused about. I just show a nadty side in that response...you're just reading into it like that.



Not only that responds, after that responds you were mockin on Cheekyfaerie and the rest.

Your relationship is new and yet you go vent about it. Suddenly you switched into know-it-all.
That's what I called moodswings of your double Libra.
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She was rude to me! What am I gonna crawl with my tail under me? Like I said I vented not out of uncertainty of why I haven't seen him. I KNOW that part. Call it what you want I won't lose sleep.
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Roam
@Roam
11 Years

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Posted by cheekyfaerie
Posted by Roam
Posted by Hotbeefy
Yes venting...in other words instead of making it more about what I was confused about...I told all the details instead of acknowledging what I was confused about and what I wasn't confused about. I just show a nadty side in that response...you're just reading into it like that.



Not only that responds, after that responds you were mockin on Cheekyfaerie and the rest.

Your relationship is new and yet you go vent about it. Suddenly you switched into know-it-all.
That's what I called moodswings of your double Libra.

She was rude to me! What am I gonna crawl with my tail under me? Like I said I vented not out of uncertainty of why I haven't seen him. I KNOW that part. Call it what you want I won't lose sleep.



Not rude. Tough love. I'm still a Cap, afterall. 🙂
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tough love is rude.
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Roam
@Roam
11 Years

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ell the truth you gave your insecureky rooted opinion.
Posted by cheekyfaerie
Posted by Roam
Posted by cheekyfaerie
Posted by Roam
Posted by Hotbeefy
Yes venting...in other words instead of making it more about what I was confused about...I told all the details instead of acknowledging what I was confused about and what I wasn't confused about. I just show a nadty side in that response...you're just reading into it like that.



Not only that responds, after that responds you were mockin on Cheekyfaerie and the rest.

Your relationship is new and yet you go vent about it. Suddenly you switched into know-it-all.
That's what I called moodswings of your double Libra.

She was rude to me! What am I gonna crawl with my tail under me? Like I said I vented not out of uncertainty of why I haven't seen him. I KNOW that part. Call it what you want I won't lose sleep.



Not rude. Tough love. I'm still a Cap, afterall. 🙂

tough love is rude.



Haha. If you can't handle me telling you the truth then you're gonna need that luck for a Taurus. Take care.
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Roam
@Roam
11 Years

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te either one.
Posted by Hotbeefy
Posted by Roam
Posted by cheekyfaerie
Posted by Roam
Posted by Hotbeefy
Yes venting...in other words instead of making it more about what I was confused about...I told all the details instead of acknowledging what I was confused about and what I wasn't confused about. I just show a nadty side in that response...you're just reading into it like that.



Not only that responds, after that responds you were mockin on Cheekyfaerie and the rest.

Your relationship is new and yet you go vent about it. Suddenly you switched into know-it-all.
That's what I called moodswings of your double Libra.

She was rude to me! What am I gonna crawl with my tail under me? Like I said I vented not out of uncertainty of why I haven't seen him. I KNOW that part. Call it what you want I won't lose sleep.



Not rude. Tough love. I'm still a Cap, afterall. 🙂

tough love is rude.


You'll meet someone in here who's totally giving you tough love when you vent on virgo or pisces board.
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jeane
@jeane
11 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 22 · Posts: 8048 · Topics: 36
i'm still stuck on why you would want to be in a relationship with someone who you believe to be manipulative and controlling.

the double (crossing) guessing game playing is so childish but i get the sense that you are very young so carry on. us oldies won't be able to shed light on your situation because what would we know now eh? after all, we were at our smartest when we were young.
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Roam
@Roam
11 Years

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Posted by scorchedearth
btw we only disappear when we're uncertain about someone and we're making a decision about them. taurus only ignore people if we're not totally invested in them yet.

once we're all in we're as consistent as the day is long. if we can't talk? you get a text or a call BEFORE that time frame giving you an ETA on when we'll be back.

I had a reading about it by a psychic I trust. (I'm psychic too but when it comes to my love life I always second guess and need reassurance) She's always on point with time frames and situations. She said he didnt respond MAINLY because he was on the move. (which is what he told me when I confronted him - we dont text or call each other often...he doesnt call at all actually) She said the second reason is because he was trying to get me to pick up on the answer myself because he knows that I'm psychic. She said me being psychic is what gave him the ok to not take any time out to answer me (He's spiritual too.) She said he wants to establish a more spiritual relationship with me for the sake of himself and his children because he is planning a future with me but just doesnt know how to come out and say that he wants those things with me. She said he has a tendency to be passive regardless when he wants to get his way anyway so that I should expect that from him. Not only that but she said he doesnt like normal type of relationships (Moon in Aquarius - Venus in Gemini) because he likes his space and he is very invested in his career and his school because he wants a better life for us. She said he will be more open in terms of his feelings gradually.

She also said that he wants to grow with me and take things further and get closer and is in no rush however to do it (Taurus Sun - Capricorn Mars)


I picked up pretty much all of that myself. So it was refreshing to hear it from her.

We have Sun Moon and Mercury sextile Uranus in our synastry chart...so our relationship gives him the freedom and uniqueness that he wants. I'm a Libra Sun, Moon and Mercury with Venus trine Uranus in my chart so I love the space.
We dont talk daily anyway...he gets his daily high of me from my instagram and twitter. So...the if we cant talk thing you're giving me...eeh...depends on the relationship.
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Roam
@Roam
11 Years

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Posted by jeane
i'm still stuck on why you would want to be in a relationship with someone who you believe to be manipulative and controlling.

the double (crossing) guessing game playing is so childish but i get the sense that you are very young so carry on. us oldies won't be able to shed light on your situation because what would we know now eh? after all, we were at our smartest when we were young.

Everyone has a tendency to be manipulative and controlling...I'm close to 30 so I'm young...but not very young. I know why he was being manipulative...he wanted me to read into the situation myself. I respect that. If he was just controlling and manipulating for the sake of it then thats different. I love our relationship. I'm not going anywhere. 🙂
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Faithndestiny
@Faithndestiny
11 Years

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Posted by Roam
Posted by scorchedearth
ignores her for 3 weeks. comes over for a booty call. doesn't even spend the night.

yep. everything is great in taurusville.

well when he has moon in aquarius and venus in gemini...plus mars in capricorn with a bust schedule...thats what you deal with. he came over to make love. thats what people do when they're in loving relationships...they have sex. lol
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I am also a sun in taurus, moon in aqua and venus in gemini... no matter what i NEED constant communation with a person i have deep feelings for... Otherwise, im just literally not that into you... I still have the loyal trait of a taurus.. true i need my space..my uniqueness and look at other hot guys from time to time when my venud kicks in but no matter what i need to intellect with my man atleast once every few days. Its thr best way i EXPress love and my feelings... Through words and communication... They are my most emotional needs... so when my exclusive carefree sag goes out n about... N if hes busy.. Hes crazily busy himself n i need my space.. I will not tolerate it if he doesnt talk or respond to me... Its just pure rude n disrespectful in my part... As an aqua moon, i need a lover who is a FRIEND.. A bestfriend..who i can share everything with,,,intellectually..n not just lovely dobey stuff... if you can keep my intrigued by keeping my guessing you score 100 points.. If i can predict your move.. Ilose my interests..extremely easy.... my point is, i am also a bit of a psychic n he noes that n i feel things without really talking to him but i still need communication to confiorm... we just been on a month holiday n it has not been a day i have missed my communication with the sag... if i truly love you, i want u to hesr all about it... If i wanna spend my life with you..u will hear all about it... If you dont hear from me..most likely, my aqua moon is just treating u like one of the many...all the same... Im sorry but once a week of communication is horrible. as a moon in aqua and my venus gemini, i will only do thst type of communication when i dont really take u seriously or i just dont find u intriguing enough.. i am only saying things from my perspective... i know my placements well n i know what a guy can do to keep me hooked.. But seeing u r not really t