Taurus-Virgo friends...Am I over-thinking??

This topic was created in the Taurus forum by AngieTheTaurean on Tuesday, February 19, 2013 and has 23 replies.

Profile picture of AngieTheTaurean
@AngieTheTaurean
13 Years

Hi fellas,
I asked this question to the Virgo guys and got good answers. But still I'm not able to conclude it. I hope my taurean pals may tell me if I'm overthinking.

So, Here's what's going on..
I have a Virgo guy friend, we are friends for few months now. But 'just friends' only. We used to hang out pretty often and nothing has gone off-the-line so far. But since few weeks I'm having this weird feeling that my friend is getting 'closer'. Though he never gave me any mixed signals and neither have I pretended that we could be more than friends. but still, there are things which are confusing me. Like- Just recently he said 'he feels like he can never get along so well with any other girl', he calls me every single morning just to say 'Good Morning' and wishes me "good night" every other night. May be I'm completely wrong but still I can't ignore this and I'm worried. I don't wanna get 'too close' and end up hurting him.

All I want is to stay friends. The guy is simply awesome and is really caring. I love him as a person.

What would you guys do in such a situation? I don't wanna mess things up and screw our lovely bond.
Please help.

Profile picture of AngieTheTaurean
@AngieTheTaurean
13 Years

Mr. Defense, you really scared me. I am absolutely sure I can't be more than 'just friends' with this guy. I admit we get along really well, but still, he is not 'The One'.
I can't even imagine 'the bitter enemies' thing. he cares for me a lot!
He is really nice guy. I'm not even sure whether he really likes me or not. I don't wanna loose such a great friend.
But I don't want any of us getting hurt either.

Profile picture of venusianbull
@venusianbull
16 Years25,000+ PostsTaurus

If you have no intention of being romantic with this fellow. Tell him.
It would be a kindness. Stringing him along and giving false hope based on selfish personal reasons is not.
If he is truly your friend he will understand.

Profile picture of AngieTheTaurean
@AngieTheTaurean
13 Years

I've already made myself clear from the very beginning. Even it was him who first said he can never fall for me. Our friendship grew stronger because we were so clear what we want from each-other.
Now I'm noticing little changes but I can't tell him directly. I'm afraid he'll think I'm an idiot to think like that. I don't know what to do.

Profile picture of AngieTheTaurean
@AngieTheTaurean
13 Years

Ok Venusianbull, I guess I should try that. But still I'm not sure how would he react. What if he got pissed and stopped being friends with me. I love him as a person, and I'm not ready to loose him. Isn't there any better way to handle this... God, I'm going crazy!

Profile picture of venusianbull
@venusianbull
16 Years25,000+ PostsTaurus

You are basing things on a perception of his reaction. Not reality.
If he is a bit butthurt then he's a bit butthurt. That will fade in time. Takes two to make things go and unrequited sucks snot.
Put on those big girl rhumba panties and be plain. With all of it.

Profile picture of AngieTheTaurean
@AngieTheTaurean
13 Years

Ok so, I met him recently. I was mentally prepared to say what is on my mind. Just when I was about to say, I don't know what happened to him, he suddenly said, "Are you thinking I'm falling 4 u?" n I was like wtf! I said yes, and he laughed. Yes, he laughed out hard. I was embarrassed. Now I'm really feeling like an idiot. I couldn't sit longer, made an excuse and left. He called and acted totally normal. He said 'we need to talk'. I just can't figure out what exactly is going on with this guy's mind...

Profile picture of neuroticvirgo
@neuroticvirgo
13 Years500+ Posts

Posted by AngieTheTaurean
Ok so, I met him recently. I was mentally prepared to say what is on my mind. Just when I was about to say, I don't know what happened to him, he suddenly said, "Are you thinking I'm falling 4 u?" n I was like wtf! I said yes, and he laughed. Yes, he laughed out hard. I was embarrassed. Now I'm really feeling like an idiot. I couldn't sit longer, made an excuse and left. He called and acted totally normal. He said 'we need to talk'. I just can't figure out what exactly is going on with this guy's mind...

Were you disappointed by his response? Be honest

Profile picture of TaurusBull1977
@TaurusBull1977
16 Years1,000+ Posts

Posted by neuroticvirgo

Were you disappointed by his response? Be honest

I'm convinced she was.

Posted by Mr. Defense
Virgos are very perceptive and masters of educated guesses......
click to expand

....And he made it to the finish line before she was given a chance to respond....!

If he decided to let her off the hook, she would have been relieved.
Embarrassment wasn't the feeling that caused her to walk away, it was sheer disappointment.
Now he senses she's feeling slighted, and wants to communicate.

In my opinion,
This Virgo had a far less emotional reaction that she did...and is probably wondering why she's grown distant towards him.

Profile picture of TaurusBull1977
@TaurusBull1977
16 Years1,000+ Posts

Posted by AngieTheTaurean
Mr. Defence. I agree. I'm planning to leave town and go to my parents for this week. I need to get out of this.

Why do you need to get out of this?

You're creating a situation when there is none, really.

He understood, respected it, and bowed out gracefully.

Wasn't this what you initially wanted?

Profile picture of neuroticvirgo
@neuroticvirgo
13 Years500+ Posts

@TaurusBull1977 you and me both. But hey I've been wrong before (once I think) I've just never seen someone so invested in NOT having feeling for someone. I'm a Virgo I know the classic signs of denial... as did the Virguy in this story.

@OP maybe you should talk to him and let him know how you really feel.

Profile picture of TaurusBull1977
@TaurusBull1977
16 Years1,000+ Posts

Posted by Mr. Defense

you're simplifying it. The thing is, if she doesn't want something, and he does, they can't be friends. That's the bottomline. The friendship needs to end. There is no going back to the way things were before. And yeah, he can act liek he's cool with it all day, but if he has feelings, all that's really happening is that resentment is being built up. It's better to break clean.

Posted by AngieTheTaurean
Ok so, I met him recently. I was mentally prepared to say what is on my mind. Just when I was about to say, I don't know what happened to him, he suddenly said, "Are you thinking I'm falling 4 u?" n I was like wtf! I said yes, and he laughed. Yes, he laughed out hard.
click to expand

It sounds like he's already mentally prepared himself and knew the rejection was coming...but decided to bow out gracefully and still proceed with the friendship.

My initial question was...

Why was she embarrassed?

I think she's in denial.

Profile picture of TaurusBull1977
@TaurusBull1977
16 Years1,000+ Posts

Posted by Mr. Defense

The situation has a resolution.

In order to find the resolution the OP has to address what's really bothering her?

Call it a woman's intuition....

But I sense there is a lot more to this story.

If a man I wasn't interested in decided to bow out gracefully....why would I over-analyze it.

He let me off the hook.

He did me a favor!

Profile picture of TaurusBull1977
@TaurusBull1977
16 Years1,000+ Posts

Posted by Mr. Defense

I'm pretty sure the reason for it is EGO. Which is not exactly shocking, considering how egotistical Taurus are.

No.
Not exactly.
The egotistical thing to do would have been to lure him back in, get him to profess his undying love for her, and then spit him back out!

Instead, she looked for an escape.
Maybe.
Perhaps, she was hoping that he felt something for her....she may feel the same way.

She stated that she was embarrassed.
Which leads me to believe that she feels that she may have read too much into it.
If she's convinced that he doesn't feel anything for her....
Why would she feel the need to terminate the friendship permanently?

....And now she wants to know what's on his mind?

Profile picture of AngieTheTaurean
@AngieTheTaurean
13 Years

Hi Everyone.
I read all your points and yes, there is a lot more to this story.
Infact, it IS my Ego that's not letting me face this guy.

Anyhow we talked. I do want to break away cleanly. I said I was wrong in judging u and now I'm embarrassed. He seemed ok, but somehow I feel he wasn't. Anyways, I don't wanna get into that anymore. We both agreed we need to take a break and then we will see whether we can be friends or not. About my Ego, yes if he didn't laughed and we had a serious convo (which i planned) I won't feel like going. But I felt humiliated (yes, I admit) and left((but I didn't told this thing to him ofcourse). I loved him as a person. I feel sorry for myself. But I know there's no going back.

Profile picture of muffdivingvirgo
@muffdivingvirgo
14 YearsVirgo

Tell him you're like my brother.

I've been friends with this Gemini girl for over 35 years. She's like my sister. Anything beyond that... Yuck!

She's married, I'm married. Our spouses is cool with that.

Tell him you're like a brother to me. And anything more than that, eewww.

btw, I'm a Virgo, the wife's a Sag.