The broken man...

Hey everyone! Just joined up and hope that I might find relief in with you guys and my hart. 🙂

So, I have a rather uncomfortable situation currently. I am a Taurus and I have met the most amazing Scorpio girl in the world. About 10 moths ago our paths crossed when I started working for a new company. She had been working in one of the training and development departments while I was in Administration and ICT. Anyway, from the start we just had this click. She is about 4.5 years younger than me and is born on 19 Nov.

Things where going great, although she is reluctant to be in a relationship, as she had suffered a nasty blow with the previous a-hole. Which, strangely enough was and is fine with me, as I am almost certain I can wait for her to come around, since she is worth every second invested. So in March of this year, things warmed up a bit and she just suddenly sent me an SMS one day asking that we please just take it slow. I told her that I am fine with that, but that she should know that I really do like her and would take her pace with no problem.

Since then we have been through a lot, really a lot. She has been in some bad places this year, nothing like drugs etc, just bad decisions etc. that had her at her wits end. We have spent so much time together and shared so much it ain't even funny, she really feels like my polar opposite but in the best possible attractive way imaginable. From time to time she does blow hot and cold, but every time she comes back and we just go on, like everything is perfect. It sometimes drives me up the wall, but I don't react on this as I have no desire to push her away, I feel that I 'need' her around, if that makes sense to anyone.

She has had her mood swings with me, but I have just let them blow over, she has shared a lot with me and even calls me up from time to time to ask advice and the like.

So about 1.5 months ago, I just had this urge to drop by her new job and just give her a nice bunch of dark maroon flowers. I acted on this and she was so happy it ain't even funny, and this made me happy. We still aren't in a relationship, but I just felt I had to show that I really do like her and want to treat her. Previously I haven't done anything of the sort, but she was over the moon about it. Anyway, we have been spending hours on the phone, together at different places, together with friends at a concert or 2 and just about anytime we can spend together, and I really feel that I am in love with this

with this girl. I would gently cares her lower back, or we would share glimpses and blushes, you all know, the lovey-dovey type of things 😛

More recently we just talked about random stuff, like our normal odd 4 hour sessions, and it briefly came up again about us and relationships. This time around she didn't ask me to take it slow, we just talked about potential, she was a bit hesitant but never once pushed back. And I told her that she must come around at her own time, and I know this and respect this. All in all I have never ever had this type of openness with anyone and it really does make me happy. She has mentioned incidents with other guys to me etc, and although we taureans generally hate this, I have never reacted in this possessive manner (with her) we are known for, mostly gave advice when asked, or had it blow over, although I am sure she sees in my eyes and my behavior for those 10min or so that it does bother me.

So, about 4 weeks ago I was very sick, like really bad stomach bug or something. I doctored my self up, and the next day, actually the evening I called like I would from time to time, and the minute she answered and I greeted her she asked me what was wrong. (And she always does this, sometimes a bit scary but I actually like that she is so in tune with me 😄) SO I told her I was sick and got a bit of a speech about taking care of my self and not calling her to help me out and all. I actually found it so sweet and cute : $ But anyway, nothing serious. Now, the weekend before I got sick we where actually at friends of ours and this is where I noticed something odd between us, but not bad though. We weren't together the whole time, but If I looked in her direction she would either blush or look away, or we would lock eyes and share some gestures, totally unknown to anyone else there. She loved it and so did I. Just before we left I was by her side and we talked a bit and I caressed her and the like.
Then came the stomach bug and then the speech. hehe

Exactly a week after we talked and she tried to put me in place 😛 I woke up the morning and though, I want to see her, (I have been giving her space, pretty much as much as she needs to miss me like I miss her, also not something a Taurus does well, but with her I just can, don't know how, but I do.) so I decide I'll go by when I have some time, maybe lunch or something. That same morning she sends me an SMS, since we hadn't talked in about a week, both of us having a lot on our

plates but still there for one another, and she asked if I was OK and if I felt better etc. So I replied and said yes I am fine, thanks for asking, and I'll talk to her very soon. All on cloud 9 🙂 So, mid day I took lunch and went up to her. And since I stopped there something felt weird. For the first time ever she couldn't look me in the eyes when we talked... And we always do, she knows me inside out and I do feel that I know enough of her inside out. The whole time, 1.5 hours or so, not once could she look me in the eyes. When I told her I needed to go, she was a bit sad and asked if I could stay, but still she avoided eye contact.

Just before I left, another guy, one that works with me arrived there as well (Our company source material from the Scorpio girls new company, and they are friends as well, not the best but friends) and she was very uncomfortable. I was slightly annoyed by him being their, possessiveness, but didn't do anything, I just had it blow over. So I greeted her and as always made sure to catch her attention with a gentle caress on her lower back. The next minute she was gone, no where to be found... I got in my car and left back to work.

SO it has been bothering me, why no eye contact, and why ask me to stay, but you don't make eye contact. Anyway 2 days later, she calls me randomly, like she sometimes does, and we talk and I help her out with a few things she asks me about etc. So, I figured, what ever it was 2 days before, obviously there is nothing to be mentioned if she still calls me. She went home that weekend, was back again after the weekend and the Tuesday I called her up and we had a brief chat and the like. And this is now where the hell starts. This past weekend we where with friends again and a new couple that we met. The whole time we where there she avoids me like the plague, no eye contact not really speaking, just avoiding me and messing with her phone. Then we start talking, she still avoids eye contact and suddenly, out of nowhere tells me to please not visit her again at work and also that she won't make any personal calls or accept personal calls during working hours any more... This blows me out of the water, but I agree to it. Now I know her boss, hell he knew I was there and he din't mention anything to me of what is allowed and not allowed, so this confuses me. Then, the new couple we met, we start talking. They are married, and the wife asks me a question or two, you to get to know me, and like a jea

jealous vixen my scorpio girl just about answers every questioned pitched to me, totally to my surprise..

Later on another friend of ours joined us, and she and my Scorpio girl disappear for a while, like the ladies sometimes do, and when she comes back I notice something really isn't right. Eventually the new couple left, and for like 30 min everything between me and the Scorpio girl is back to normal, before she just suddenly shuts-down again. Now I'm not funny but this hurt like hell, and really ticked me off, more the pain than everything else. I have been calm and collected the whole time, but this really was uncomfortable. Eventually we each left, and despite being confused and hurt, I greeted her, and caressed her, like always (nobody else gets that treatment) and we went home.

On Tuesday, I met up with the friend she disappeared with for a while just to hear that according to her, the Tuesday I was with her, I totally over reacted when the other guy arrived. Which I still don't understand. When I arrived she couldn't even look me in the eyes and the guy called when he was on his way, so I knew he would be there anyway. She also said that she felt my reaction has now totally compromised her trust in me, but I know I never did a single thing.

I tried calling her in the week, just like I sometimes do, not to pick a fight or anything, and well, she didn't answer. I really don't know hat happened. I know I didn't react out against the other guy, and frankly don't think that this is even the problem. I am really kind of terrified at the moment because I do love her so much and this behavior is really not her, I know her. So I have abstained from contacting her for time being, just collecting my self again, not acting needy or anything, just trying to keep my cool. She knows everyone that I work with so if I suddenly react funny she will know. All of our friends keep telling us how perfect we are, and how we should not compare one another to anything we have had in our lives before. At the same time we have had an amazing time together. I have been there through a lot, rock steady and open minded with an open heart, catching tears and making sure she knows how important she really is, not this dumb-ass flirting since she would react to it anyway, and probably despises it. I have written her a letter or two, I tell her when I miss her, I tell her when I think of her, I tell her if I think she looks amazing etc. all out of my heart, not one lie, I

don't have anything to hide from her. And then this.

I know this is a long piece, but writing helps me, and I would think advice is best given if you have the right details. Anyway, does anyone have advice for me, please? I really don't know what happened and I know what I want and how much she means to me. I think she might be fearful that she is developing deep feelings for me, and because of previous jerks, she would become vulnerable. But who do I weather this storm and keep the most amazing girl I have ever met, the only one that I have ever felt so happy and comfortable with.

Any advice would help. Thanks, and if anyone doesn't like this, skip on. I am sure there are really people here that can and will help, I don't need unnecessary opinions and bs.

Thanks community
OmagaIII
The broken man

Hmm I think you may be right. It seems like she might be pretty vulnerable and possibly even scared. Scorpios are very vulnerable and the thought of letting someone in can be pretty scary for us. My advice would be to maybe back off a bit and give her space. You've done your part, now let her come to you. If you push some Scorpios too hard, they may just run the other way. I know sometimes when a guy pursues me too much, I tend to play hard to get. I must say thatI'm always hearing things about Taurus men being slow and hesitant to make a move, but it seems that you are definitely not like that. You will make some woman very happy someday, whether she's a Scorpio or not. Good luck though. I really hope it works out. 🙂

Thanks everyone, I really appreciate it. Still feel like crap hahaha but that is probably part of this whole setup. I am really just dumb founded by the reaction and how before, for the entire 10 months, we have shared more than our fair share with one another. She is really the one that I want around, she is the one I can spend my life with.

Anyway, I will try not to make a fuss over this, I really have no intention of losing the most amazing woman ever. I'll back off, and I really do hope that she comes around again. I'll be pretty wrecked for a while if she doesn't but anyway...

I guess I should at least try and get my composure 100% back in the mean time.

@MilkySoft,

She has tried a test or two before, even setting up one of her girlfriends to like draw me out, to which I didn't budge, that bridge burned even before her friend hit the ramp lol And she does do tests, but she also more recently stopped, probably since she knew I am not budging. The previous a-hole openly cheated on her and she kept going back. And then she lost it. So she bailed. He has made passes again during the year but then she would immediately come to me, tell me and just stay till she felt ok again. Two such encounters where she was in tears since he just doesn't stop. But I was so relieved that she came to me. Also a few other big happenings, she came to me everytime. I really hope she comes back to me now, and we at least work through this, whatever this is 😢

And know, she cut him off for good about 4 months ago 😉 I know that 110% for sure.

@ScorpioSerenity

I won't lie, she can put up a brave face, but whenever we are alone she always lets me see a bit more than the rest of the world. I know how she fends off the world, even while I am with her, and I know why she does it, but the second we are alone, I get to see who she really is. She is always so embarresed when she lies to people just to push them back, and she always would come to me and just open up. So I also think it is fear. I don't want her to fear me, not that I think it is me, but if I wanted to rip her apart, judging by previous occurances, I would have done so. I am not that guy, and I have been rock steady in proving that. I am just really kind of scared at the moment cause I don't know what is going on. And she means waaaaayyyyy more to me than anything.

I think I should back down a bit, but I want to let her know that despite this, I am still there. We have talked before, on numerous occasions and I have always told her that she needs to take all the time she needs to work through everything in her life, and that either way, I am behind her, wahtever the decisions she makes. If she asks my opinion she gets it exactly as she wants it since I know her well enough. Not that any man can ever know a Scorpio in their entirety. But hell, a am not interested in just dipping my toes in the water, I want to be engulfed in it. I would even dive into the water! 😉

Thanks for your advice, I will really try to back off a bit.

@ IrresistableScorp

I don't know. She has played a lot of hide and seek, doing hot and cold for a few months. To be honest, the last 3 months she has just been amazing, so open, so beautiful so natural and playful (probably the thing I love the most about her : $ ) that I am honestly blown away by her.

And, the weekend before I was sick we where a bit coy with one another but I still held her, I was still beside her, still caressing her, still having our own conversations right in the middle of everyone else, with not many even noticing hehehe Like some kind of secret agency or whatever you want to call it. So she knows me, she knows who I am and how I react, and this same goes for me over her. She has told me numerous times, 'you know me well enough by now, you know I won't do this' or 'I won't say that', or 'you know I like this' etc. And she is right, by simply hearing something or seeing something she would stare at me and we would start laughing cause we both know what the other thinks or feels at that moment. And that is amazing. It just that this past week or so, I feel as if she has manged to retract a large part of this energy. So I know she is dealing with something again, I don't have to talk to her to know, I don't have to see her to know, I just do. And before, I would send out a message or leave a voice mail telling her I am thinking of her, or that I have been thinking of her and that she will be OK with whatever she is facing. And she comes back a while later and tells me 'thank you very much', and that she really really appreciates it. I don't need to dig in her business. I just know and feel enough to respond and comfort or help her. She has even taken advice from me over her own parents 😛 which actually turned out great for her (maybe not 10000% , but definitely 99% better that what she is used to, or was expecting. hehehe)

I am not saying it isn't entirely the case, I just don't think it is likely. But thank you very much for your help, I still appreciate it. Everyone helps me get a better perspective about this. 😄

FYI, for those who might be thinking I am a bit childish in this persuite ;P I am 28yrs old, born 7 May. She is 23 going on 24 on the 19th of Novemeber.

She has all the qualities that I feel could balance me out. Also very very intelligent. And emotional intelligence to the max. OK, the way she reacted over the last week or so is very weird for me and somewhat uncomfortable, mostly since my hart is already in this, but other than that I would have given up on finding someone who fulfills the 'criteria' I was hoping to find some day. She has pretty much had me revise the list since then since she is waaaayyyyy better than my petty 'criteria' 😛

And know, I don't place people on a list, I merely mean that we all have an idea of an ideal mate, She has just managed to show me that these woman still exist, and I am so grateful for her in my life at the moment.

@robyn808

That's what I don't know or get. Does she want me to flair so that she can convince her self that I am exactly the same as all the previous jerks or does she want to test to see if I can be caring and kind and more importantly consistent no matter what...

We do have a lot in common and their are definitely numerous topics we both embrace with zeal and passion. And I just decided 3 months into the friendship/ potential relationship I am not just going to be a friend. I will take things at a steady pace but I know she is the girl I want. I do understand that their is a need for a firm foundation to build a relationship on, and I have been steady to build this with her because I am so in love. I trust her and I do believe she trusts me. I don't believe she would fall asleep right next to me, in my embrace if she didn't trust me, nor would she consult me on a few life decisions if that weren't the case.

Like I mentioned before, I tell her how amazing she is, I tell her when I miss her, I tell her when I am thinking of her and wishes she was near. I do this, really for the first time very spontaneously. Usually this would push people away, but she might disappear for a day or week or two, and return more alive or she would open up a bit more and we could share more. I have asked her to please tell me if I am out of bounds because I care for her. And I do feel she cares for me, but I really don't know why now after all of this she has had this sudden revolt, while at the same time acting jealous and distant and close etc. I feel that she really doesn't know how to react, and that she really does have a hard time expressing her emotions, not just to me but anyone. And with this she is so conflicted, because maybe, just maybe what I offer is what she wants, but she doesn't know how to engage it. Fear of being hurt again, fear of being vulnerable and sitting with a jerk again etc.

The thing is I am not like that, I really try my best not to be. I am definitely not perfect, and neither is she, but she is real, and that is what I want. I don't want perfect anymore, I want real, and I think she feels the same. For years I have had a hard time expressing myself, and I am learning it with her, very slowly because I don't want to push her away. And I think she is going through a similar process.

One day, actually a few times, she came to me, or called me and she tells me that she is so sorry for not expressing her feelings, but that she wants me

and she tells me that she is so sorry for not expressing her feelings, but that she wants me to know that she really does appreciate everything I do for her, and being there for her. I know why she is saying this, or at least I think I know. Not trying to affirm this means she might lose me. I know how that feels cause I am struggling with that myself. Always so worried that saying to little pushes them away, but saying or doing to much might also push them away, and we don't want that, I don't want that. But every time I have told her that she need not worry about this because I know she appreciates it as I would not be there, or help her, or just spend time with her, being me, if she didn't.

I appreciate the insight though, I just don't know how to react other than to be myself and remain calm and steady, just close enough that she knows I am their, but not pushing for something, rather waiting calmly for her to come out of hiding, most likely like the phoenix transformed, hopefully (and seriously praying) with us having a better future, if any.

Her emotions are so so deep. Her mind limitless and I feel it every time I get to spend time with her, or call her, or just think of her before I got to sleep at night, or wake up in the morning. And I want that, not just toe dipping in the water, no, I want to be flooded in that ocean. I want to be the single point, or rock that stands through the wash of water embracing and learning, but also giving her something stable to come back to during or after every storm.

Reading through this, I am probably showing a side of Taurus few people are familiar with hehehe. Maybe someone else might benefit out of my rambling about how I handle or think of love.

@ Impulsv

Yip, but that was like 2.5 months after we met. Hmm, well maybe you`r right. However if that is the case why then avoid me if I try and call her to find out if she is ok and if everything is fine? Maybe to late? 😕

I do understand what your getting at though and I have really tuned in to her before, otherwise I don't think she would have easily explicitly searched for me when she was not doing so well the past few months. I mean, she would literally call up my friends to find out if I was with them, in particular at work, and then track me down so that she could confide in me and I could advise her or just help her out by listening and motivating her. But you might have a point.

Tell me, in your honest opinion, do you think that she might come around again, knowing that I am steady and have been there for her, pretty much keeping the distance that she had requested me to keep? Sure I have moved closer, but I don't just want to be friends. So I have moved closer, I have been treating her different than I would friends because she is more than that to me. I do take the time to call her up, not as often as friends do, but enough to hopefully let her see that I am interested in more than friends. She hasn't revolted against this, and suddenly I am cut off like I am the plague, but she still reacts to me, or to our surroundings when we are together.

I have not once put her down (she really doesn't have good self-esteem) and would actually do the opposite. Even the other day when she avoided eye contact, she said that she felt like some kind of homeless person (probably referring to the way she was dressed or something) and I immediately held her and told her that she is so beautiful the way she is, even if she doesn't always feel that way. And the smile she gave me was just so amazing, and so sweet and real. She usually blushes when I say this, because I am saying out of my heart.

I barely met her and immediately knew, their is no way I can lie to her, not even with words, so I don't throw gestures and compliments around like candy because I know she sees through it, especially if it isn't real. A lot of what I say honestly comes from me, my heart and is intended for her, and her heart 🙂

@Impulsv

Understood. I just thought that the fact that I am there and tell her from time to time that I miss her with me and I am thinking of her that she knows that I care more than just a friend would. But I understand what you'r saying. Every time someone mentions a relationship she seems to go up in arms, saying that she doesn't have time or energy for it and that she doesn't want to learn new traits and tricks of a guy etc. But I will say that the times we have spent together alone she has voiced different opinions to me.

So maybe I should make my intentions a bit clearer by voicing my feelings for her. I guess that if she then throws me away at least I know where I stand :/ Not ideal because she is really the first one that completely fills my heart in the most wondrous way...

I also don't want to play the push game now. Think that with any Scorp, knowing what I have learnt over the past few months, if they back off to heal or to try and figure life out, the worst thing to do is to push. Like your asking to get your ass whipped by the stinger. So, like I mentioned, I'll still be me and just be around, I don't feel like I should move closer now. Just there, so that when she emerges she still gets the same guy she got to know from the start. I don't know if it is the best, but it feels like the best way to show who I am and what I want no matter what happens. I do imagine that most Scorpios do want at least one thing in their life to be stable, even if they them selves shake up the pot some times. So I also feel this might be a test before we hopefully move forward to something more personal or exclusive.

But if she plays me, than I'll have to back out gracefully, I cannot lose my heart and mind If I am not appreciated for who I am.

Hey guys. So, it is so good to have friends that really care, I have heard some bad news, kind of. In a nutshell, she has now admitted to a few of our friends that she is losing grip on her life and a few of our friends as well as her family are all over her because of this. Just say, she had a very bad weekend, and bad decisions. Likely nothing to serious but it still worries me.

Anyway, she is apparently now looking for me, and I have been advised by our friends to first back off while they shake things up a bit and make her see what she is doing to us and what we all are doing for her. So I guess, I have darn good friends and should listen to them. I am still worried, but nothing I can do, I just hope she doesn't do stupid stuff, since things can quickly outrun you and then you live with consequences, which I do not wish for her, or anyone.

Thanks community, I have already learnt a lot about her and a bit about my self. One question though. This does point to immaturity, which we all undergo. How should I guy like me approach a Scorpio that is acting out immature? I know what is coming next, cause I know our friends 😛, but I have heard a few times about immature Scorpios, how do you/have you handled this?

Aaaannnd and upadate from here 😉 http://www.dxpnet.com/opinion/message/?id=4324970

Please guys and girls, let me know what you think.