Understanding Bulls (particularly males)

Hi Guys

I'm in a reflective mood after this weekend and wanted some opinions and a cool discussion about you lovely Toritos.

I??ve mentioned in previous posts the tests, struggles, and suffering I??ve experienced with my first Bull but I??ll briefly recap for clarity

I met him the night after a difficult mutual breakup with a wonderful Scorp, so essentially we began this story as a rebound. It could be I was vulnerable trying to forget my Scorp but I became attached to this Bull. After 3 months everything was lovely until little things in his character, words and actions started to show that disturbed me. Red flags (excuse the pun) were emerging.

After one incident on a night out with mutual group of acquaintances where he touched a woman (he confessed to me previously he had a physical history with) in front of me in a manner I found to be disrespectful and tasteless I distanced myself from him completely. I was going through a difficult time in my life and I needed to put myself first and could not handle any more aggravation from anything or anyone. After a month I reach out. He said he met someone else and that was that.

5 months later at a black tie event when he saw me looking beautiful, dressed up and happy after months of pulling myself back together, crying and suffering he asked for a 2nd chance. I accepted and we didn't last a month. That breakup happened in May. But I had already weathered the storm and I just decided to move on and be happy. Dating, enjoying my friends and family. I guess I just snapped out of it.

This weekend after almost 6 months we see each other at another event. I arrived with one of his friends I met on the way. I kept my composure and acted breezy and all smiles. I saw out of the corner of my eye his reaction. He didn't know where to look, and the colour just drained from his face!

I went inside but as I needed to make a call and I didn't have reception on my mobile phone I went outside 15 minutes later. Guess who was outside moping around on his own, in the rain shuffling around. I just ran back inside lol!

I decided the best thing for me was to just ignore him. Out of sight out of mind. Just kept my clam and peace. 2 hours later my date arrived to accompany me and meet my friends at this event and holy moly The Bull was just in a foul mood! I have never seen this side of him. And just looking at my date up and down...

(Continued) Right before me and my date were about to leave he reappears with a woman and was looking at me as if to show —see I have a girl too?? lol! I just ignored this silly display because I suspect this was a last minute thing so he would not seem alone and an attempt to make me feel jealous. I just said my goodbyes to my friends and left happy and all smiles with my date.

This is what is intriguing me: I honestly didn't have intentions in making him upset or jealous. I admit that I did feel a bit of satisfaction at seeing him so unnerved but I think it's a bit of due karma after all the heartache he put me through. And I'm a bit shocked as I have never seen this negative bullish side and reaction. At the end of the day he broke us up twice and treated me appallingly. All I seemed to be was a trophy to him the whole time we dated. I honestly thought he could give less of a shit what I did, how I was, or who I was with. I felt a little bad for him (only a tiny bit haha!) and he suddenly seemed petty and pathetic to me.

So I??d like to understand Taurus:

- Why do some Bulls (let's not generalize I know some Lovely Beautiful bulls) push people that genuinely love them away, treat them badly or take the people that care about them for granted. But then when these loved ones give up and move on it's a shock and there is aggravation?

- I??ve seen this with other Bulls too it's very confusing and I??d love to understand why. I??ve seen this with my Bull girlfriends too in how they relate to boyfriends, lovers etc.

- Why are there so many doubts raised when relating to love and those that care that make you withdraw or hold back a little as you attempt to figure out what you need, want, and can give?

- Why do you sometimes have a pessimistic attitude towards your life, feel misunderstood, and find yourself in conflict with those that love you? But then you push loved ones away and make decisions that cause you rigid or negative attitudes that hold you back from advancing?


Why this hot/cold, timewasting attitude that puts others in your life off and then you become too vain, impertinent, self-satisfied and think the world is against you and no one really cares?

I??ve seen this so many times with Taurus??s I??d love to know why you guys do this. I love bulls, when they are happy and well-rounded they can be the best people you will ever know and rely on.

Please share xx

@KK - totally agree with noticing wanting and needing you and not liking that. As if they are ashamed to let a silly "feeling" get to them. When did your bull finally let go and let you in? What caused it? How many times did you have to break up? Hahaha!

I've seen this with my Bull girlfriends too. If they suffer through a difficult time they won't talk about it until you nag and you have to keep asking what wrong. It's like being a little emotional is unacceptable to them.

I—d like to understand the mind of a bull. What's in there that you hide so deeply? That you would rather run from love to protect your heart?

OMG, KK, I swear this sounds like me and my Taurus Bull of a year and a half. We are at a break up stage for those reasons you gave above, he keeps running from his feelings, won't speak to me in person, the hot and cold, made sure to tell me he doesn't like to be questioned which I knew he was talking about his freedom although I've never once questioned him on anything. He's a grown man. I like my freedom too. When I asked him to explain when I have questioned him, he becomes silent. There is no answer he can give. I feel like sometimes that I paying for everything that has happened in the past. How were you able to last so long (6 years)? Was it anything in particular that clicked with you to keep trying? I'm a bit frustrated and hurt myself but I'm a Cappy and rather deal with it alone behind closed doors.

@Iamawinelover — tell you story don't keep it in. that's why I posted the thread, to gain insight from others

@Chael — if you don't want to talk about feelings then don't. I'm guessing you are being a bit playful though—_but honestly if you don't want to discuss something it's your choice. I'm interested in learning about this sign from those who want to share 🙂

Wow the resemblance in our bulls is uncanny.

I'm currently trying to break the cycle of running back to my bull. He has a girlfriend and everything but he doesn't leave me alone. Even during happier times he treated his friends better than me. He becomes a hothead as soon as you question him and gives the silent treatment when he's mad or he disappears. I'm a cap so I always wanted to fix it but it seem like the more I tried the more he fought.

Now that I've made up my mind to just let go he's calling my friends, showing up at work just to get me back, but I know the relationship would just be the same.

He did tell me stories how his mother gave him up to his aunt to raise and his first girlfriend slept with his best friend. So I believe he's been punishing women every since. You can't tell him that though, he'll blow up.

Posted by lcrc
@Iamawinelover — tell you story don't keep it in. that's why I posted the thread, to gain insight from others

@Chael — if you don't want to talk about feelings then don't. I'm guessing you are being a bit playful though—_but honestly if you don't want to discuss something it's your choice. I'm interested in learning about this sign from those who want to share 🙂

I have dealt with so much meanwhile I've given so much as well and I am mentally drained. We had a disagreement that all came from his assumption that was not true and it just snowballed into me telling him all that I had gone through with him and I'm still here; still patient. He didn't admit that he as wrong, nor did I expect it but I didn't curse nor call him names, no need for that. I apparently hurt his ego by letting him know about his stubbornness which isn't fair to me. So after that, he shuts down, all communication ceases for weeks. It's hurtful not being able to just handle things and being kept in limbo. He told me a he has never felt this way for anyone before. His fears and insecurities keep him at bay from me. The closer we get and it dawns on him, then off he goes! It's been a rollercoaster ride to say the least. So what do I do? I give him his space and do my own thing. I've done my best and I feel like it's still not good enough.

Well this post gave me some insight on what I have been dealing with. An on and off Virgo with a taurus moon. I have a taurus moon as well..but I don't do all that he is doing. The hot and cold, non communication only to pop back and say he loves me and misses me. Then leave again. I mean at first I was crazy. I was a stalker. Checked his facebook and instagram. Got angry he talked to everyone but me. I never threw that anger at him..I just checked up on him every now and again and he would say a few kind words and disappear again. This has been going on for about 8 months now. I just told him after some family issues that we are downgraded to just being friends. I said that would give him the space needed to get over his family issues and I wouldn't be expecting him to be at 100% between us. He has never commented and all I hear is crickets chirping. I am busy doing other things but he does crop in my mind. I stopped stalking. It wasn't helping me. I am more important in this than anything.

But reading this just gives me insight on a bit of him. So thank you. I will continue to just send a hello every now and again. If it is meant to be it will be. But I will tell you men like that will make a good woman begin to become emotionally unavailable. I am trying to stay upbeat..but my faith in men is waning.

Hi Guys,

Thank you all for sharing so far. Sometimes this seems like a support group for lovers of emotionally unavailable Taurus??s 😆




The common/reoccurring behaviour seems to be prevalent

Fear of abandonment

Difficulty expressing deeper feelings and dealing with the consequences of things said and done

Making light of others feelings as a ploy to avoid dealing with issues

Clearly not being able to handle deeper feelings but not being able to just let go

I could go on??_

But I had another thought??_what is it about us that stays? Or if we don't stay and FINALLY move on why can't our hearts move on? It's like that one Taurus??_that one rascal just can't just get the hell out of our heart. lol!

@Impulsv — I don't think the issue is that the new Sag wife has managed. I think she fits an acceptable mould. The Bull will have a relatively easy life. She won't trigger or push certain buttons in him. It may not rock his sun moon and stars as you did but the risk is lower. Just an observation based on my experiences. Taurus men seem to go with safe and secure, true and trusted. Even if it's boring

By all means any thoughts please share

Posted by Pipermax
Wow the resemblance in our bulls is uncanny.

I'm currently trying to break the cycle of running back to my bull. He has a girlfriend and everything but he doesn't leave me alone. Even during happier times he treated his friends better than me. He becomes a hothead as soon as you question him and gives the silent treatment when he's mad or he disappears. I'm a cap so I always wanted to fix it but it seem like the more I tried the more he fought.

Now that I've made up my mind to just let go he's calling my friends, showing up at work just to get me back, but I know the relationship would just be the same.

He did tell me stories how his mother gave him up to his aunt to raise and his first girlfriend slept with his best friend. So I believe he's been punishing women every since. You can't tell him that though, he'll blow up.

Funny, my mother also abandoned me at a young age, and my first girlfriend also slept with my best friend....wow.

Anyway, yes, when people undergo trauma like this, they often perpetuate the cycle. They manifest behaviors, often as a defense mechanism, that are rooted in the subconscious, and that will push people away, and bring about that abandonment that they fear most. He's just creating the cycle all over again. You've given up on him now (through no fault of your own) and he feels abandoned once again.

Honestly, in regards to the OP's original issues/questions, there was never much of a relationship here to speak of. 4 months total? This isn't even a blip on the radar for a bull. And much of what you're writing about his behavior and motives sounds like speculation. Granted, bulls apparently do the hot/cold thing a lot, but I'm not sure this even relates to that. At most, it looks like he was physically attracted to you, and is/was almost competitive with you in a way. This isn't Taurus *love* though - even if he was jealous, competitive, or trying to make you jealous. Scorps do this as well. I've seen Scorps go out of their way to make an ex jealous, even though they are actually no longer even interested in that person in a romantic way. I'd chalk it up to immaturity and ego issues.

@TSL - I'm very sorry to hear what you went through. And I agree being treated like that would create a complex in anyone and it was unacceptable. Even though you might feel you??ve overcome it my sincerest sympathy

About my personal experience I'm not sure why you would call it speculation. I'm not a gossip so please do not misinterpret my point of view. A few months are nothing to me too but also look at it from this side??_your life can change in a day much less in a few months

I haven't given every tine detail of our day to day interaction because is too long. Yes it started as a superficial attraction for us both but we got close in a short space of time. Again I just didn't go into a lot of detail to not be boring. It was on and off for about a year.

maybe I didn't explain myself, when I say —love?? I don't always mean I??ll have your babies and grow old with you love. Sadly we never got that far. But personally I can't be another way. All I know is love. Whether it be a little bit that I keep to myself or a lot that I show you openly I cannot express how I care for you in a half arse way.

If you chose to reject this or it's too much to understand (which at times he expressed) then there is nothing I can do but move on. I'm just discussing certain particular behaviours Tauruses in my life (not just this first one) have shown (females also have these traits) that happen over and over no matter what situation and it's interesting and I??d love to understand

After all isn't all human emotion based essentially on either Love or Fear?...

I just mean it can be hard to tell if someone is really jealous, or if he was trying to use his date to make you jealous. Sometimes our egos can cloud perception with stuff like this. I can't judge how much he cares, really....I'm just saying, in *general*, the *time* with a bull is what will really make us attached. 4 mos. is just a very short relationship, and typically we move so slow emotionally.

You seem sweet, so I will put my anti-Aries bias aside. If anything you seem to be the one who has the attachment issue in this situation though. He sounds immature and really just not ready for anything serious, so I agree you should just move on. Bulls have their reasons for the things they do; we always think things over very carefully and this is one of the true reasons we get fixed in our ways - not just because we like being stubborn. When you see bulls push people away like this, that they seem to care about, I guarantee you somewhere in there is a reason they believe is really strong, indicating that the relationship would not work out long-term.

anti-Aries bias! hehehe well thank you for not judging (we're not all arseholes 🙂)

Yes I admit I became attached but certain things he expressed showed me he got a little attached to. He just opted to run away. And I think you are very right he was immature and full of ego and himself.

I've just noticed this with Taurus friends, co-workers, and other Taurus guys that approach me to date lately

I just wish I could understand a better way to communicate. Tauruses are lovely people. Really. But its confusing when all you want to do is help and love and they go in themselves

Its really hard for an Aries to understand bulls, honestly. I think long-term compatibility is pretty poor with these two - worst of all the fire signs IMO. I've known a lot of Aries folks and there are just fundamental differences that divide us when it comes to romance. Aries are bold and impulsive, willing to take risks, more outgoing (socially, romantically, etc.), craving new exciting experience, and very resilient IMO. Generally bulls are none of these things, and these qualities are all intertwined. We move so cautiously and conservatively because we know how deeply we bond and how painful the loss will be if it happens.

Obviously there can still be chemistry. Aries women are usually sexy as hell, and I've read that sex *drive* is one area where the two are really compatible. With mutual interests, good communication, etc., I'm sure a relationship could work and often does, but when there's emotional discord, jealousy rears its head, things get boring for the Aries, both sides stubborn aggression has been activated, the bull's domineering/slightly chauvinistic side comes up against the ram's willful independence, etc., that's where things are going to get really thorny with this pairing. I can talk to an Aries woman and in one conversation, feel the seeds of incompatibility.

Posted by SpinCycle
Well this post gave me some insight on what I have been dealing with. An on and off Virgo with a taurus moon. I have a taurus moon as well..but I don't do all that he is doing. The hot and cold, non communication only to pop back and say he loves me and misses me. Then leave again. I mean at first I was crazy. I was a stalker. Checked his facebook and instagram. Got angry he talked to everyone but me. I never threw that anger at him..I just checked up on him every now and again and he would say a few kind words and disappear again. This has been going on for about 8 months now. I just told him after some family issues that we are downgraded to just being friends. I said that would give him the space needed to get over his family issues and I wouldn't be expecting him to be at 100% between us. He has never commented and all I hear is crickets chirping. I am busy doing other things but he does crop in my mind. I stopped stalking. It wasn't helping me. I am more important in this than anything.

But reading this just gives me insight on a bit of him. So thank you. I will continue to just send a hello every now and again. If it is meant to be it will be. But I will tell you men like that will make a good woman begin to become emotionally unavailable. I am trying to stay upbeat..but my faith in men is waning.

I had the same issue with my taurus guy. He always said he loved and needed me but his actions didnt show it. He finally told me he disappears because hes not trying to fall in love and that it was possible with me but he didnt want to get hurt or hurt me.

I dont understand why Cap women are having such a hard time with taurus when we are supposed to be compatible.

Posted by miimii

Posted by SpinCycle
Well this post gave me some insight on what I have been dealing with. An on and off Virgo with a taurus moon. I have a taurus moon as well..but I don't do all that he is doing. The hot and cold, non communication only to pop back and say he loves me and misses me. Then leave again. I mean at first I was crazy. I was a stalker. Checked his facebook and instagram. Got angry he talked to everyone but me. I never threw that anger at him..I just checked up on him every now and again and he would say a few kind words and disappear again. This has been going on for about 8 months now. I just told him after some family issues that we are downgraded to just being friends. I said that would give him the space needed to get over his family issues and I wouldn't be expecting him to be at 100% between us. He has never commented and all I hear is crickets chirping. I am busy doing other things but he does crop in my mind. I stopped stalking. It wasn't helping me. I am more important in this than anything.

But reading this just gives me insight on a bit of him. So thank you. I will continue to just send a hello every now and again. If it is meant to be it will be. But I will tell you men like that will make a good woman begin to become emotionally unavailable. I am trying to stay upbeat..but my faith in men is waning.

I had the same issue with my taurus guy. He always said he loved and needed me but his actions didnt show it. He finally told me he disappears because hes not trying to fall in love and that it was possible with me but he didnt want to get hurt or hurt me.

I dont understand why Cap women are having such a hard time with taurus when we are supposed to be compatible.

click to expand

I don't know why we have hard time with male bulls either. The disappearing acts and shut downs are very very difficult to endure when you are on the receiving end. I don't know where the compatibility comes into play if there is so much fear that it feels like you're walking around on egg shells. It pains me to think that I may have wasted my time hoping and dreaming with a man I feel in love with who will hasn't spoken to me for a while now.

I'm kind of at my wits end with my Taurus friend.

I told him last week how it upset me that he announced to facebook his job interview but didn't tell me about it, despite us speaking that day. He said he was upset with me for ignoring his text, which didn't happen...my phone just didn't receive them. Anyway, I thought we were okay after that but I guess not.

I see him yesterday, and we have good energy between us as usual when we are in each others presence. I ask him about the interview and we talk about that and plenty of other things. It was one of those few days where things "happened" and after he leaves I find it odd that yesterdays date was the first time it "happened" between us last year. I notice things with him or us are about dates. Cancer mars maybe? I also asked him am I the only one, and he said yeah...we can shake hands on it...Gemini venus? I was suspicious about the truth in that, as usual.

Anyway I text him about the date thing, and no response. Then I text last night to wish him good luck on finding out if he got the promotion...no response. I go on Facebook and see "I got the promotion! Thank you Jesus!!" and it was posted like an hour after he left my house. I was upset!! We just talked about me being the last one to know important things last week, and he does it again. This is what I deal with constantly. He text me this morning "I got the job" all dry, and I said "Congrats etc" and that's that. I wanted to be really excited, because I am very proud of him. He was promoted to manager for a good company, and he's so young. Great accomplishment! but I couldn't express that out of irritation.

We are compatible in many ways, especially physically and we are both extremely sensitive, but its our communication our tendency to sit on issues that's the deal breaker. Maybe it's an earth/earth thing because I sit on issues with my Virgo sister. I think with the Taurus it's the same. As much as I try to open up in hopes the environment is comfortable enough for him to do the same, it never works. When we are near, we are perfect, but it's the time apart that tells the truth every time. About two weeks ago he asked me out the blue if I would pass the test and I said "yeah" sounding a bit unsure of what he was talking about so he told me to repeat it with confidence lol, I did. I'm about to fail. I don't think I can deal anymore.