@Lunabee
9 Years1,000+ Posts
How to break free from parental control
It's like this ll do something drastic for my growth and my main concern is she going to be ok.
If I haven't left the country I would never be married!
My mom is a cancer and mean but if I need her to die for me she would!
But she is killing me and I am 50!
There is no solution! It's your fate!
Posted by Lunabee
It's like this ll do something drastic for my growth and my main concern is she going to be ok.
She'll be fine. She's survived thus far, hasn't she?
I completely agree with bombotlatt.
How is she wounded and broken?
Posted by Lunabee
I love my mom. But I need to break free. I come to her bat when anyone hurts her.... But she uses me as her puppet, too.My dad is solid.
But my mom, she is broken and wounded and I need to break free from her but I don't know how when I see her as an injured bird
Now that you're cognizant of it, don't be a victim of circumstance. I have some of the same issues with my mom. Some of her ideas that seem inclusive tend to benefit her mostly..so sometimes I have to steer things in another direction where everyone benefits. It's tough because they can get set in their ways. Rather than bringing it to her overly direct and engendering defensiveness, it might be better to be the example and also to explain what works for you. Not being proactive and trying to placate to protect her will only ensure cyclical behavior. Good luck!
click to expand
Thank you.
I cry a lot. I worry of. What will become of her when I leave her vacinity, this country, I feel like I need to help her with her weakness first. But it hurts me that which hurts her and it hinders me.
Posted by Lilianni
I completely agree with bombotlatt.How is she wounded and broken?
Things like she needs dental work, and her glasses are held together by tape. She's pitiful. I want to give her the world. She smokes more than a pack a day and more weed than chong. She doesn't spend wisely, she just does what she wants but what she wants causes it.
Posted by Lunabee
I love my mom. But I need to break free. I come to her bat when anyone hurts her.... But she uses me as her puppet, too.My dad is solid.
But my mom, she is broken and wounded and I need to break free from her but I don't know how when I see her as an injured bird
Now that you're cognizant of it, don't be a victim of circumstance. I have some of the same issues with my mom. Some of her ideas that seem inclusive tend to benefit her mostly..so sometimes I have to steer things in another direction where everyone benefits. It's tough because they can get set in their ways. Rather than bringing it to her overly direct and engendering defensiveness, it might be better to be the example and also to explain what works for you. Not being proactive and trying to placate to protect her will only ensure cyclical behavior. Good luck!
Thank you.
I cry a lot. I worry of. What will become of her when I leave her vacinity, this country, I feel like I need to help her with her weakness first. But it hurts me that which hurts her and it hinders me.
She's your mother not your daughter.
click to expand
It's like she gave life to me but we take her life from her. My sister and my brother just use her as needed and leave her with our shit.
I feel you .. I really do.
.
What is her sign ?
♎ libra
Posted by bumboklatt
Seen this many many many timesIt's not good to let your mom's emotions control you especially when those emotions lead to manipulation
Chances are if she uses you more than once she is being enabled by you
Gotta cut it off, chances are she's not that helpless without you
You gotta give yourself room to grow
I'm getting there. Just need to ensure her well being first.
Posted by Gemitati
If I haven't left the country I would never be married!My mom is a cancer and mean but if I need her to die for me she would!
But she is killing me and I am 50!
There is no solution! It's your fate!
I'm going to leave. But I want to fix things about her she needs first. Fuck. I'm her companion....she needs her own.
Posted by Lunabee
I love my mom. But I need to break free. I come to her bat when anyone hurts her.... But she uses me as her puppet, too.My dad is solid.
But my mom, she is broken and wounded and I need to break free from her but I don't know how when I see her as an injured bird
Now that you're cognizant of it, don't be a victim of circumstance. I have some of the same issues with my mom. Some of her ideas that seem inclusive tend to benefit her mostly..so sometimes I have to steer things in another direction where everyone benefits. It's tough because they can get set in their ways. Rather than bringing it to her overly direct and engendering defensiveness, it might be better to be the example and also to explain what works for you. Not being proactive and trying to placate to protect her will only ensure cyclical behavior. Good luck!
Thank you.
I cry a lot. I worry of. What will become of her when I leave her vacinity, this country, I feel like I need to help her with her weakness first. But it hurts me that which hurts her and it hinders me.
She's your mother not your daughter.
It's like she gave life to me but we take her life from her. My sister and my brother just use her as needed and leave her with our shit.
click to expand
Oh you're the Good kid.
She enables them and you enable her.
Like someone else said, show her how it's
done and break the cycle maybe?
Buy her some new glasses then set sail.
Ditch the guilt... like, all of it.
♡
The Arts forum... interesting.
Posted by Lunabee
I love my mom. But I need to break free. I come to her bat when anyone hurts her.... But she uses me as her puppet, too.My dad is solid.
But my mom, she is broken and wounded and I need to break free from her but I don't know how when I see her as an injured bird
Now that you're cognizant of it, don't be a victim of circumstance. I have some of the same issues with my mom. Some of her ideas that seem inclusive tend to benefit her mostly..so sometimes I have to steer things in another direction where everyone benefits. It's tough because they can get set in their ways. Rather than bringing it to her overly direct and engendering defensiveness, it might be better to be the example and also to explain what works for you. Not being proactive and trying to placate to protect her will only ensure cyclical behavior. Good luck!
Thank you.
I cry a lot. I worry of. What will become of her when I leave her vacinity, this country, I feel like I need to help her with her weakness first. But it hurts me that which hurts her and it hinders me.
She's your mother not your daughter.
It's like she gave life to me but we take her life from her. My sister and my brother just use her as needed and leave her with our shit.
Oh you're the Good kid.
She enables them and you enable her.
Like someone else said, show her how it's
done and break the cycle maybe?
Buy her some new glasses then set sail.
Ditch the guilt... like, all of it.
♡
click to expand
Some sweet ass glasses 🙂 I just want the best for her.
Ya know?
How do I live without her?
Posted by Lunabee
I love my mom. But I need to break free. I come to her bat when anyone hurts her.... But she uses me as her puppet, too.My dad is solid.
But my mom, she is broken and wounded and I need to break free from her but I don't know how when I see her as an injured bird
Now that you're cognizant of it, don't be a victim of circumstance. I have some of the same issues with my mom. Some of her ideas that seem inclusive tend to benefit her mostly..so sometimes I have to steer things in another direction where everyone benefits. It's tough because they can get set in their ways. Rather than bringing it to her overly direct and engendering defensiveness, it might be better to be the example and also to explain what works for you. Not being proactive and trying to placate to protect her will only ensure cyclical behavior. Good luck!
Thank you.
I cry a lot. I worry of. What will become of her when I leave her vacinity, this country, I feel like I need to help her with her weakness first. But it hurts me that which hurts her and it hinders me.
She's your mother not your daughter.
It's like she gave life to me but we take her life from her. My sister and my brother just use her as needed and leave her with our shit.
Oh you're the Good kid.
She enables them and you enable her.
Like someone else said, show her how it's
done and break the cycle maybe?
Buy her some new glasses then set sail.
Ditch the guilt... like, all of it.
♡
Some sweet ass glasses 🙂 I just want the best for her.
Ya know?
How do I live without her?
click to expand
Practice?
Idk... my mother's a control freak.
But I've ditched her (♡) in the past and she was
FINE.
She's manipulative and I'll be damned if she
can't still trick me (Sag-Gem)... sigh
But ask her to help you with your plans.
Make her a part of the effort?
Can't do it without her... ?
You've learned from the master so turn it around.
And yeah-- sweetass glasses. 🙂
Posted by Lunabee
I love my mom. But I need to break free. I come to her bat when anyone hurts her.... But she uses me as her puppet, too.My dad is solid.
But my mom, she is broken and wounded and I need to break free from her but I don't know how when I see her as an injured bird
Now that you're cognizant of it, don't be a victim of circumstance. I have some of the same issues with my mom. Some of her ideas that seem inclusive tend to benefit her mostly..so sometimes I have to steer things in another direction where everyone benefits. It's tough because they can get set in their ways. Rather than bringing it to her overly direct and engendering defensiveness, it might be better to be the example and also to explain what works for you. Not being proactive and trying to placate to protect her will only ensure cyclical behavior. Good luck!
Thank you.
I cry a lot. I worry of. What will become of her when I leave her vacinity, this country, I feel like I need to help her with her weakness first. But it hurts me that which hurts her and it hinders me.
She's your mother not your daughter.
It's like she gave life to me but we take her life from her. My sister and my brother just use her as needed and leave her with our shit.
Do you have any self identity? Your sister and brother aren't you. You're implying you too are using her. If that is the case, then I'd suggest you stop. As for your siblings you can call them out. You don't control their life.
And that brings me to your mom. You don't control her life either. She's a grown adult; she can do what she pleases. If she is self destructive and doesn't want help then, I'm sorry, there isn't anything you can do. You really can't force anyone to do anything. If they aren't willing to make the changes themselves than the outcome is only conditional. You can be a motivation but you can't make them do something they don't want to do.
It's a hard lesson in life that you'd need to learn, bud.
click to expand
I have. It's been like a pissing contest, "whose fucked up the most."
But I'm still learning who I am. I know I'm the only one who stays in touch every day and mows her grass and let's her vent and let's her is my credit card as needed.. they do not.
Just further explains my shackles to protect her. It's not about who has caused her the most pain, it's, for me, about who makes amends. And it's me.
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I love my mom. But I need to break free. I come to her bat when anyone hurts her.... But she uses me as her puppet, too.
My dad is solid.
But my mom, she is broken and wounded and I need to break free from her but I don't know how when I see her as an injured bird