My Little Brother

I have three little brothers, but I only think about one.

This is the one I grew up with. When my mom had him, she already had two kids. Me and my older brother.

My father had a set of twins in 99' that I never got very close to, cuz my mom left his ass and remarried in 97'. I met my youngest brothers when they were toddlers, and keep in mind - I was already 3 years older than them when they were born.

I could never get attached to them.. I wanna think it's because we never had much of a relationship. I just met my dad for the first time since 2nd grade when I was 14. I ran away from home when I was 17 and lived with him for the first time in my life at that age.

Now, me and my father don't even talk. Long story.

I just think it's crazy how we take for granted our younger siblings... My little brother just turned 20 back in October.

He's a Libra with a Scorpio Moon and Mercury. His Venus is in Libra, and Mars in Virgo. Sagittarius rising.

When we were growing up, we always fought. Not just any fights and bickering.. But we use to kick each other's ass.

It felt like we hated each other growing up.. But then sometimes we would play and do stuff together. We fought more than we played.

These fights were very intense, and it often ended with me gettin my ass kicked by my stepdad. My little brother's father is my stepdad.

So you can guess, my dad always took his side. At least that's what it felt like.

I hated my little brother cuz I felt he was favored, spoiled, and could easily get my ass whooped by our dad (which happened a lot).

These fights and whoopings were so intense, that I still have scars on my face and arms from us scratching and clawing each other.

We fought in the car, at other people's houses, in public, and at home... Especially when we were in elementary school and our parents still had the 3 of us sharing a room.

I never thought I started it and that any of it was my fault.. I still don't think it is, but I can see why I grew up the way that I did.

When I was like 4 years-old, I pushed my little brother off the bunk bed.. He hurt his mouth and had to go to the hospital.

Sometimes I think about this time when the 3 of us; my older brother, myself, and my little brother was in the backseat..

I was sitting on the passenger side behind my mom.. But every time I looked up, my stepdad had this menacing stare and was breathing heavy while looking at me. I remember looking around not knowing what the stares were for.. But he looked real angry and was driving fast as fuck.

Now that I think about it, that's the day I pushed my little brother off the bunk bed.. Had to be.

I think ever since that day, my stepdad wanted to kill me.. Or just punish me to no end. He had hate in his eyes, and I suffered at his hands until I was 17.

I always hated my little brother growing up. I hated him for giving my stepdad a reason to stay with my mom.. I always thought he the reason I was so punished.

I use to be the baby.. He was born when I was 2 years-old. I think I accepted I was no longer the baby way before my parents realize... My mom says when my little brother was born, I use to run in the room and pinch him over and over almost everyday until they caught me and I stopped.

I never knew to believe this, cuz I don't remember doing this shit.. I was a baby myself.

But they say I did that, and I think when I pushed him off the bunk bed, that was the last straw - and I kind of sealed my fate with my stepfather growing up.

I never wanted to be the youngest.. I just wanted the same attention, I guess. I never got much of it when I was a shorty.

I don't remember pushing off the bunk bed, that shit probably didn't happen the way they think it did. I don't remember pinching him when he was a new born.. But I remember us always fighting and even when I didn't start it or was it my fault, I got my ass kicked.

One day my little brother took my chicken sandwich and balled it up (we didn't eat a lot growing up, we always waited for our dad to come home and bring us something.. This night, it wasn't much) and I wailed on him for him doing that.. We wailed on each other and our dad caught us fighting. We was fighting in the upper bunk, which was my older brother's bed (can't remember why we was up there together, but it wasn't good.. My brothers had many bunk beds growing up. I always had a twin).

I remember my dad snatching me down and dragging me through the floor to my parent's room. I fell really hard and could barely stand.. He then choked me up against the wall single-handedly, then dropped me. I then got a whoopin for like 2 hours in the room. I know this cuz it got real late and I remember staring at the cable box. When he was done he made me shake his hand and said "tough love".. And sent me to sleep.

I was a fuckin mess as a kid. I hated him.. I hated my little brother. I felt like they hated me.

When I ran away it felt justified, but life didn't get any better..

My stepdad still holds my foot to the fire about that.. My little brother use to lash out about it at me or my mom sometimes.

Like last year, I stayed with my mom for the summer.. My brothers have their own house.. Their house was meant for me, but I couldn't move in there cuz I have a criminal record and they live in a gated community. Everyone goes through a background check. I failed mines. She gave the house to my brothers and begged the land office to let me stay with her.

Things were fine.. Not great. But fine. My little brother goes off about shit all the time.. This one morning he came over to my mom's and he was going off about something and I heard him through the door say "EVERYTHING WAS FINE UNTIL THAT BITCH CAME BACK!"

Fuckin gets me stuck just typing that out..

I came out my room and shit popped off once again between me, him, and my stepdad.. Shit was crazy.. I was sent on the train back to Chicago the next day.



I remember seeing my little brother for the first time since I ran away... When I left, he was short and husky.. A chunky little boy. That's the way I always known him to look.. When I came back, he was tall and skinny. My little brother is like 6'6 140 pounds now at 20. He just looks like another person, and I'm still trynna get use to it.. Cuz we never see each other much. He went through his growth spurt years ago, so don't get me wrong.. But I guess I gotta see him and be around him a lot to get use to it.

I didn't see him grow and it kinna fucks with me.

Cuz just like I didn't see the twins grow.

Me and my little brother are just now creating a bond... As adults, we working on it.. And I never thought I would be happy about having him in my life. I just don't want him to hurt me. I don't want him to disrespect me or be mean to me. I just want love between us..

It's weird when we talk. It's not forced, but it somehow feels unnatural.

I just went a good portion of my life without my brothers.. I feel like I need them and don't need them at the same time. I try to understand him, cuz I see a lot of myself in him when I was 20 years-old.. The lashing out, the exploring, the rage, the wanting to be somebody you not.. All the shit I did, he is doing now.. And I worry for him.

Cuz these things got me a record, they got me bad credit, they got me stabbed, homeless, and PTSD.

When I look at my brother, I think we look just alike.. Everybody says we look alike when we make certain faces. Despite us having different dads..

When I look at him, I see a friend.. I'm like damn.. This is the brother I'ma drink with. Smoke with. This the brother I'ma end up kickin some ass with.. When I look at him. I just know we gonna fuck shit up.

I never had a rider friend.. Nobody ever stuck up for me.. Nobody ever has my back.

Today, my little brother stuck up for me.. And it made me feel in ways that I've never. I won't get into detail.. But my cousin talked some shit about me, talkin about how I left.. My young cousin is weirdly obsessed with my little brother.. He don't want him close to nobody but him.. I guess this was his tactic of separating my brother from me, or trynna feel out where we stand as siblings..

My little brother told him to kill that shit and "that's still my sister"..

Which is a long way from "everything was fine until that bitch came back".

well, blood is thicker than water....

I never got into serious fight with my older brother, my mom taught us well, every time we fought she would kick both our asses equally, her reasoning was that she couldn't believe any of us, so both got the belt lmao Latina moms I am right

just don't go like most older siblings saying: don't do that cuz when I was your age..... so patronizing.

“Everything was fine until that bitch came back”

😂😳

That was the only thing interesting within your emotional vent. My siblings would never. They know better than to disrespect me. I have no advice for you though because you will get offended with whatever I say anyway.

I have 3 younger brothers too.

I have three younger brothers too... much younger.

Just imagine the four stooges and I am Moe, Lol.

Posts need to be limited to a number of characters! Period! No more than xx per day!!!

OP would be out for weeks...👍