Yes 66, it started this early afternoon and it is defintely hangin around. I feel it too, and it will probably be hard for alot of people to sleep tonight! I'm sure we are all thinkin about the same thing. I will just try and remember all the heros that worked after the accident happened and all the families of those left behind! And pray for their pain to heal!
I'm glad I'm not the only one feeling so low and sad. Well I'm not glad, but you know what I'm trying to say. It is comforting to know you I am not alone in my grief. I feel so badly for the surviving family members. And I've noticed that for my own personal well being and sanity, there are certain things I can't allow myself to think about too much, like the people who jumped out of windows and the rescue workers who died when they were saving people. Those things really bother me. *Sigh. I hope that you all are alright tomorrow and are able to have some peace. I am going to try. I think that the ceremonies that will be on tv might help. Just to see that the memories of the victims are being properly honored.
You know... yesterday around the afternoon I too felt that lingering feeling of gloom so perfectly used for this day. I remember that Tuesdays last year were like my Mondays. I would get up and go to school. This week is special it is the kick off to my birthday. But, see I'm from California, Riverside to be exact and I remember how we were all sent home with that lingering sence of gloom. More so shocked and stupified by what we saw. It's easy in cases like these to see and feel the low of such an impact our nation took last year. But, if it means one thing to be American it's looking at the best of things. Our nation suffered gravely and we're still not completely healed ,but it wasn't only our nation that was impacted by the dervish which is today. Many people are now looking at a better state of life and for the first time experiencing newfound freedoms we have in our grand nation. These people too suffered what we did in a day only they did in five years while under the rule of manic men demented by faux beliefs and obscured power, and ideologies. Today let us not only celebrate this great month which is the month of Virgos but let us too recognise what it means to be an American, and what we really have forever and will forever stand for. That's liberty, civil rights, and that God given right to persue our happiness. Fighters we stand and fighters we'll fall. And, that is what we've proven to the world today that we have suffered the hardest blow any nation on this green earth has had to take, but we don't forget our morals and values. Those who perished in this disaster didn't do so in vain...No! Those blessed souls are now in heaven and all those beautiful and divine places that they may have believed in watching over their families and over us as a nation, just like they did that day unselfishly. Heroes are forever, and hurts heal and are forgotten, but as for the heroes of this day....they'll never be forgotten yet they'll be immortalised as the gardian angels of this great nation!
G-d Bless Us, Time Let Heal Us, And Love Guide Us.
We all went through the same type of emotions; shock, denial, confusion, grief, anger, sadness, disbelief and then at some point most of us could only ingest so much. I can remember last year about a month or so later I just stopped watching the news programs that I had been absorbed into about four or five hours a day. At some point I just couldn't take any more grief I suppose. I attempted a more normal existence and distracted myself with the reality of the ins and outs of life. But even so things almost slowly, slowly became more normal again as time went by I know that the memory of the sadness will always be a part of me. When and if I am lucky enough to be a ninety-one year old great grandmother I will never ever be able to shake this memory. It is like we all carry this ache; a sore that had started inflamed and abscessed so much that it festered so deeply into our hearts and now it feels like a scar that each of us will forever carry.
Nitro, your post really was inspiring. I just really felt good after reading it. I thought you should know! : )
155, I so identify. It is like you were writing everything that I feel also. Yes, until my dying day, even if I wanted to, I will never be able to forget it. Especially the images. I am glad this day is over, but at the same time, I feel even more sad for some reason. All I did today (so unhealthy I know) was lay in bed and watch the specials on tv and cried and cried. I also lit my candles and prayed. But I just couldn't stop crying, it was awful. : ( ...But you know what, I think we're going to be okay. We've made it a year. We will be okay.
Good night everyone and have a happy tomorrow; we've surpassed that first milestone of a year later.
I was one that couldn't get enough of the deluge of reports about the tradgedy!!!! i guess I needed to find out what happened and why! I was in shock and greif and still am in ways since the incident! But have learned much. On the following day (Sept 12th)I did some crazy things. I use to run a Guide and Pack Service in the remote wilderness of the Trinity Alps, in California with my ex. I was what was refered to as the 'Camp Mary'. It was my job to feed the miners and take care of the animals. I knew what supplies to buy to last us for at least 6 months without having to go into town. We were 25 miles into the back country and going to town when you needed something was not an option! To the point, after 9/11, I went out and bought enough staples to last us for the next 6 months! I got the well going in the back yard and filled 50 gallon drums with fuel! I went into a survival mode! I am sitting here now looking at my kitchen and I still have all the white five gallon buckets filled with flour, sugar, etc... I have and will continue to use some of it but some of the stuff has never been used! This is where my mind was on the day after the attack! I let myself go through all my emotions even though some of them were not necessary. In my mind at the time they were! I think by doing so I have purged alot of the fear and anger out. Now I am ready for healing and understanding. I also phoned everyone that means anything to me and told them exactly how much they meant to me; I told them how much I loved them!!! Something I had never done before! This was one good thing that came out of the tradgedy! Whatever you are feeling, let it happen and this is apart of healing! It made me more aware of how I can cope with loss and tradgedy. I know now I can go on and I will do what I have to do!
I believe in God and I have people ask me "where was he on September 11, 2001" and I tell them "he was there, and he was weeping right beside us." I will never forget that day and I hope no one ever does! I don't think it will be the last tradgedy as history has shown us, but we need to try and learn why and prevent it from happening again!
I totally understand why you went into survival mode. What happened was extremely scary, and we were all thinking, okay, what's next? I remember that day I just stayed glued to the news all day and night. With my mouth open most of the time. It didn't sink in for me until the next day what had actually happened. You know it's real when you wake up the next day and there it is on the news still.
I liked what you said about God. I heard some guy on the news say something really cool (he was a firefighter lucky enough to make it out even as other people were being killed by falling debris all around him). He said "people ask where was God on 9/11/2001. I say, 'God was holding up the buildings so that the people who were supposed to get out could get out'".