Another Virgo.....Oh Crap!!

Funny how you started this . . . "Oh Crap"

lol

If you approach this with trepidation, thinking, "Oh Crap", then it's probably already doomed before it ever starts.

If you approach it using the part of you that said, "that I was an amazing women and that surprised me and made me feel good", and, "This makes me want him even more" . . then it has every chance in the world to be an incredible experience.

Good Luck !!!!!

oh crap! don't fall for words dear.. these are just words..

He made plans with me on Saturday morning to go out Saturday Night. Well, he canceled because he went to visit a his friend that was in town that he has seen in a while. Ok, I understand that. Then, he told me he wanted to do something this week together well, we were supposed to go to the movies last night and he canceled again. He told me to be patient with him and he wants to take things slow so he won't screw them up and he is just getting to know me and is a little afraid of it. I'm not sure if he is sincere or just BSing me. I feel he could be sincere but, who knows for sure. I'm just going to step back and if he actually follows through on doing something with me then that will be a big step for him otherwise I don't want to get drawn in just so I can be hurt again. I guess I will be patient for now and give him space.

SW

i hope won't turn out like a dog chasing his own tail. going nowhere.

goodluck..........

i hope HE won't turn out like a dog chasing his own tail. going nowhere.

goodluck..........

virgo
today's horoscope... 😛

"if you have any secrets that you are keeping from your loved one, you may begin to feel a little more guilty than normal. something's triggering all sorts of emotions. one minute you may feel like revealing all, the next you may feel that nothing matters, anyway. keep your head, and make a more informed decision tomorrow."

is this love/relationship to oneself or to another? who matters most? what if there is no tomorrow and your loved one is gone? poor kid.

virgo women are WAAAY different from virgo men.

I guess we will see how patient I can be and whether he is worth being patient for. I just got a text from an old boyfriend wanting asking to hang out. He is a sweet man but, our goals in life a way too different. Things just fizzled out with him but he was great in bed. I don't know if I want to go down that road with him right now because of the new Virguy that I am truely interested in.

SW

Ok, I asked the old boyfriend, what do you want. He said "what, I can't say Hi" I asked what he really wanted because I'm not interested in playing these games with him. He said he would leave me alone then. Ok, that's done now. I saw new Virguy last night. We slow danced once, then his ex showed up and he didn't want to dance anymore. I asked him if he was ok and he said it was a little weird for him. She really gets to him and plays mind games even though they haven't been together in months. My ex virguy was there and kept starring him down. The new Virguy asked if me and my ex were getting back together and I said no, no, no way, not ever. Well, things were getting too weird with both of our ex's there so, I called a friend to come get me because I drank too much and I left and didn't even say goodbye. I got a call about 20 minutes later from the new Virguy but, I didn't answer. I didn't want to have to explain myself. So, this morning I get a text asking if he could come over and talk with me this afternoon, I said yes. I'm not sure why he is coming over. I kind of worry that he is going to tell me he got back with his ex. I guess I will find out in a few hours. Too be contunued.............

SW

Ok, well.....he didn't come over. He said that something happened at home and he wasn't able too and he told me that he really didn't want to talk about it over the phone. Then he says that he is interested in me and that he is truely over his ex now and to be patient because this is new for him. I'm not so sure I believe him (instinct) We met up later that night after the phone call, with a group of people and he kind of avoided me most of the night. He would go talk with his friends and then come by me here and there. He would even sit on the opposite side of the table next to someone else. So, I left early after giving him a hug by. The next day we had a pool tournament all day long and he kissed me outside when no one was around. Wow, that was so cool. We go inside and he was all weird about it around the people we know. After there we met up with friends at a different place. He avoided most of the night again until he came up behind me gave me a hug and kissed me on the cheek. I took him home that night but, we didn't do anything but kiss and some touchy feely. We almost went there but, I stopped it. He did stay the night. He told me that he has been with anyone since his ex and that was months ago even though he has been on a few dates. He said he is not like that and it means alot to him when he is with someone. Well, he stayed over and the next night we met for pool league and he again was weird about hugging me and didn't even kiss me. I left and he text me telling me sweet dreams. He did tell me that he is great and intimacy when it is one on one alone but, he is shy about it in public. I'm not sure if he likes me or not. When we are alone it's great when we around people we know he avoids me. I don't want to be a secret thing, that's not how I am. Is he being slow to start or is he messing with me?

Sweetheart 1969,

If you like him be paitent with him, don't give into him yet. Let it be something that will happen when you both are ready.. I'm seeing a Virgo man and he's the same way but everyone knows who I am now his friends. I'm sure he wants to make sure you're the one before he introduce you to his friends. And in time he will, but if you give into him to quickly it could be over. It was 3 weeks before me and mine went all the way.

They don't want to think that we just go to bed with anyone. They are very precise in the woman that they pick.. My guy goes in to his self alot but if I just back away from him he comes back.. Be true to yourself and also be yourself, don't think they aren't watching because they are.

He needs time to sort things out in his head. .

I'm not sure if I should of used the word avoid. But, it makes me feel ackward when we are out and I'm not sure whether to kiss him in front of the people we know or let him make that move. It seems to me that he may be worried about what everyone will think when he is not sure what to think and it would definately get back to his ex since everyone knows each other. I did notice that he kept an eye on me where ever I was but, kept his distance for the most part. I even got hit on by two guys right in front of him and he just looked and said nothing and did nothing. Am I a fool again....I hope not.

Thanks softouchn, you are probably right. I will let him come to me if that is what he wants and not push anything. It just feels weird to be out with him and not being able to show him affection.

I know, I feel like sometimes just giving up on mine, but then again I do Love him and with anyone man or woman if you love them sometimes you have to be paitent because we don't know what they are thinking or been through. That's how we get to know people is stepping back and looking at them for who they are. If we get to close we might not see that..

Virgo
Love may seem to be a little mercenary today. An attraction you feel towards a certain person may not be entirely innocent. You may be drawn by the size of their bank account. Perhaps this seems rather cruel, but if you take time to study your deeper motivations while out tonight, you may find out they are not that deep at all.

OMG! true or untrue? that's the mystery! LOL

today's horoscope...

Virgo
Love may seem to be a little mercenary today. An attraction you feel towards a certain person may not be entirely innocent. You may be drawn by the size of their bank account. Perhaps this seems rather cruel, but if you take time to study your deeper motivations while out tonight, you may find out they are not that deep at all.

OMG! true or untrue? that's the mystery! LOL

The other night I went over to the local pub while waiting hours to have my snow tires put on. He called me and asked what I was doing. I told him so, he came by to see me. We talked and I told him that I wasn't sure what was going on with us and he said it will take him a little time to warm up and that he does like me and is not interested in anyone else and that everyone already knows that there is something going on with us. (I didn't know that anyone really knew) He said they knew before anything happened between him and I that it would happen. I agreed to be patient and let him come around in his own time. We hung out and watched the football game together there and then I left and he told me to call him when I got home to make sure I was safe. I did. He called me a little while later and told me that the roads were really bad and asked me if he could come stay at my place. I told him yes and he did. He was afraid to touch me and kiss me and I asked him why and he said it was because he doesn't think he could control himself enough to stop there. So, what do I do....I kiss him very passionately and let things play out....I'm so glad I did. 😉 He stayed until late the next morning. We had breakfast and then he had to go to work. I had the day off. He called me later and casually talked with me. The next day he called me in the morning and at night before bed. This was last night. Tonight is the pool tournament and everyone will be around. I guess we will see if he comes out of his shell a little more but, I won't push it. I will let him be in control of it. Let you know tomorrow.

I just got a phone call from Virguy.......not good. Men that I have dated or not dated have told me many times that it is so easy to talk to me about anything and that they tell me some of there deepest secrets that they could never tell anyone else because I don't judge them for it. So, if this is true than why am I the one they dump for some girl that treats them badly.

Virguy is really upset and confused.(Not about me but, about his ex-girlfriend) He doesn't know what to do or how to feel right now. He's hurting so bad. I am the rebound girl....again. 😢 He still cares about her deeply and she knows just how to push his buttons. I just want to tape her mouth shut. He told me that she told him last night that she broke up with him three months ago so he could get his life straight to get her back. She's playing games with him and that pisses me off. I asked him what does he want? Does he see himself spending the rest of his life with her? Does he want her back? Was he happy with her and could he still be happy with her? I left him with these questions to think about. I hope he doesn't want any of it but, if he does I will back off completely. He originally pursued me and I gladly excepted with a little hesitation and now I know for sure why I was worried about getting hurt. I like him alot but, I will be his friend first and if he pursues more than I will slowly go there. I will listen to him and try to help him figure out what he wants and needs and if that is not me than I can except that and be his friend. If it is me than, I will be cautious and taking it slow with him. He hasn't really dated much. He was married for many years and then dated his ex for a couple of years on and off and another girl in between that she makes him feel guilty for even though they weren't going out at the time. He told me he feels like he owes her something and he doesn't know why. So, how do I help him?

"He told me he feels like he owes her something and he doesn't know why. So, how do I help him?"

You don't help him, Sweetheart . . this is HIS problem that he needs to sort out. It's not up to YOU to do it for him. You can't help him.

This - helping thing - you have is the answer to this question you had earlier in the post, "because I don't judge them for it. So, if this is true than why am I the one they dump"

Your approach is with the intent to help, like they are your mission. So, they talk to you and tell you their issues BECAUSE you put yourself in that position. What happens? They dump thier baggage on you, then dump you . . for a woman who is more confident in her abilities, than the endurance of just being a "Whiping Post".

From you're perspective, you see "these women" men dump you for, as "treating them badly", when in fact, that may not be the case, at all. For a woman to stand up to her man and not just be a doormat (Piscean term) . . doesn't make for bad treatment.

If she's making him feel guilty . . then, he probably is. Only the "guilty" "carry guilt", Sweetheart. To call him on something he did wrong, is not treating him badly.

He has feelings for another woman, a woman he's loved for a long time. This is HIS business . . furthermore, if he's a Virgo, then certainly, he would be appalled that his business is being discussed openly.

Perhaps, you need to back off and let him sort his life out. Be there, as a friend, but, don't allow yourself to be his, or, anybody's "dog" . . if this is how he sees you, then it's likely "respect" will be a big barrier if the two of you ever get to move to another level.

Virgo's are very independent, maybe more so, even than Aqua's . . if he's sharing his problems with you, then he's just looking for a sounding-board . . being his Virgo self, he's perfectly capable of "helping himself".

Thanks Shaka2.

P-Angel.....Some of what you said I agree with.. The men I have dated have always told me that they have never had a girlfriend like me and that I have been one of the coolist girl they have ever dated. I'm not one to show my emotions very well. I keep them bottled up. I went from I guy that I was with for over 7 years who was very abusive and had full control of my life until I took it back. Now, I think I'm at the other of of the extreme. I don't want anyone to know I can be vulerable so, I surpress it. As for Virguy, he called me later and thanked me for listening and not judging him and that he really needed it because he's never really had someone to talk to about anything and everything before. Does that make me a doormat.....well, probably. I like to help people and I don't think that is a bad quality. I'm told over and over again that people can't believe I'm still single well, it's probably because I don't let anyone get close enough to hurt me or to let them see that they are hurting me because then I feel powerless and helpless that they have that control over me. Virguy calls me everday and I don't know if I can just blow him off. I see him a few times a week out and I would have to change where I go and what I do if I want no contact so he could figure things out. I know I got myself stuck in a situation that I really didn't want to be in. My instincts told me at the beginning that he was not ready for a relationship and it sucks when I'm right about those things. I didn't want to be right about it and I was. I think he is a great guy and I would love to get closer with him but, I do know that I will be hurt over this because he is not ready. I'm a very independant women and I have a lot to offer a man but, they always seem to think I'm too good for them. Maybe I'm just picking the wrong men but, I can't help who I am attracted to.

I don't think wanting to help people is a bad quality either . . it's just that when the time comes that you are in need . . you find yourself feeling . . .

"I don't let anyone get close enough to hurt me or to let them see that they are hurting me because then I feel powerless and helpless"

I'm not faulting you . . just wondering if you realize that you are breaking yourself, by giving so much, and not ALLOWING yourself whatever it is that makes you feel "powerful"? I keep re-reading that sentence and it really tears me up . . errors, pain, failures, broken-hearts . . is what forces us to grow away from what's holding us down.

You find yourself, on one hand, feeling pretty good that people tell you, "I'm told over and over again that people can't believe I'm still single"; on the other hand, you feel despondent when you think about . . WHY am I always alone, then?

We all know that we are broken in some form, that needs some internal attention when this happens, "My instincts told me", but we don't listen. There's a reason for that. We all do it all the time . . and, that's when we need to sit back and asks ourselves, WHY? Why did I do that . . again? I knew better, didn't I?

Because ONE person hurt you? You haven't healed from that, you haven't grown away from that person who controlled you, who abused you . . because you won't let anyone get close to you. You say, "control of my life until I took it back", but, I don't believe that to be true. If it were, you wouldn't fear intimacy. It's still a grievance, for it warranted mentioning as to the reason why you feel powerless and helpless if anyone gets close to you.

Experiences in our life are to direct us onto a better road, so when we look back at our memories . . they make us smile and be glad of everything we had. I pick up from the tone of your posts, that the experience you shared with ONE particular man, has made you stand still in one spot, too afraid to venture forward alone . . but, if you don't share your road with someone, then you are still alone standing still on your path. Trying to live vicariously through another . . is still alone.

If something appears "too good to be true", then it probably isn't true . . that's what our swe all tell ourselves.

Hopefully, you'll come to the middle . . away from your other extreme. Be a firm, solid foundation for this V-man. If he's sharing things with you that he's never done with another person, then be his rock.

Just think, when you get to the other side of your extreme and stop supressing how you feel . . you'll have an incredible person still wanting to be your friend, waiting for you. If this Virgo is shareing emotions with you, Sweetheart . . you have nothing to fear.

Tell him, share with him . . he'll take care of you. Never in my life would anyone be able to convince me that a Virgo abused them, so, with this man - you are safe. Right now, the end of the rope that's dangling is his . . don't let him fall.

In turn, when the storm has passed for him . . trust him and he'll help you through the fear of feeling vulnerable.

You have something special . . Virgo's DON'T entrust just anybody with their darkest concerns and feelings. How he sees you when he emerges from his distress will depend on how much you trust him, since, he trusted you.

I'm rooting for you on this one . . he sounds worth fighting for. He just needs space, lots and lots of space to sort this out . . a keeper !!!!

🙂

Thanks P-Angel..... After I went through years of abuse with the man of 7 years well, I did meet someone who I totally fell in love with but, circumstances were not right for us to be together. I still talk to him ever few months even after 12years. I have had both good and bad. I'm just feeling really down today and very overwhelmed with emotions that I usually keep inside. Virguy was supposed to go with me somewhere tomorrow and again.....he just called me and found something else he had to do. I figure if he really wanted to spend time with me then he would. He keeps telling me he wants to do things with me but, then he backs out because something else always comes up and it really is never that important for him to cancel with me. He's afraid and on the rebound, I know that. Today I knew he would cancel before he ever even called me. I just felt that he would....again...it sucks to be right. I will be his rock if he needs me but, today is not the day to help him because I'm going through my emotional crap. Usually, I will go out on Friday Nights and/or Saturday Nights but, I will not go to either this weekend. I need to step back and focus on whether this is going to be worth it or not. I will be his friend if he needs me but, for now I will step way back and try not to run into him as much as possible because this hurts right now and it's not just about him but about how I keep letting myself get into these situations. Maybe someday I will find a middle ground. I find myself getting older and not wanting to be alone anymore. Before it didn't matter so, maybe I am just going through some weird stage these past couple of years. I know I have been more emotional recently than I have ever been in my life and I don't deal with it very well.

Yeah, I know all about the emotional turmoil with age . . damn menopause puts a woman on a roller coaster that seems so unbearable at times, you don't know whether to laugh or cry.

Listen, the most important part is . . YOU. You're more important than him, or anybody else.

Thanks for your help....

move slow......people who've recently broken up can be dangerous....you could easily end up being a support system to help him work through the issues of the last relationship.....then when he's all together he suddenly may not want you anymore. If you move slow you won't have to pass him up and if its meant to be it will happen....meanwhile, you don't get caught up in someone else's break up whirlwind.

Thanks CancerLA .....I decided to back off some and stay away from where we hang out. We know alot of the same people so, I really have to kind of avoid everyone that is within that group of friends for right now.