No offense...But are 3rd decan virgos asexual?

What is it about sex, sensitive ahem topics, and slightly risque topics that make the 3rd decan virgo man cringe—??

Everytime I mention sex or a certain body part or something that may turn him on he gets uncomfortable and doesn't want to hear about and tries to change the subject quickly.

What I want to know is if you are in a relationship with a man why are these topics off limits or a subject of discomfort—?

See Dyr....you're a rare breed.......I don't know if anything could get him over his inhibitions! Besides shock therapy. If I showed up at his door with a trench coat on and nothing else he would blush and tell me to get in the house and that I was Psycho.....

I'm shy about sex and sexual topics they're personal to me..... however when I'm in a relationship or a monogamous dating situation I become ummm how do you say it very... rared up or to be blunt a nympho.....so you know I get a little frisky a few times a day and he gets I don't know embarassed or shys away.....almost as if he's afraid. Sadly he's older than me.

Maybe it's me....who knows or maybe this is a clue to what's to come

"...I get a little frisky a few times a day and he gets I don't know embarassed or shys away.....almost as if he's afraid. Sadly he's older than me."

perhaps viagra will solve the problem then...j/k

I mean the problem isn't the performance........he's just shy. He's like torti the turtle when I say sex, naked etc he goes in his little shell....hmmmm the virgo male so many facets of mystery and smoke and mirrors

I should just call and when he answers say SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX

j/k....it's almost like the other posts......I mean he loves kissing. However I always have to initiate sex....this is fine most of the time. However if I don't initiate the sex it doesn't happen...I din't mind initiating but sometimes I'd like to be the one pursued. It almost makes you feel not sexy enough or not woman enough....

Some people are shy about sexual expressions... some not?!


What the hell is this topic to do with Virgos..?? from 1st--->>>> to 3rd..??

Are you in a public place, or a place of business when you are trying to talk to him about that? Virgos do partition their lives very well, and genrally do not talk about intimate topics in places of business (unless he is extremely comfortable with you).

yeah uh branh not so much.......I mean who really says Uh yeah I sent the contract and fax to the client oh yeah and do you like it when I'm on top......trust me everyone in corporate america has had the sexual harassment training! Plus it's just not not me so no I don't grab his a** at the water cooler and call him Big Daddy!lol

There's an echo in here . . seems like I've heard this over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over.

No, Virgo men don't. They haven't, they aren't now and they won't in the future. How many times does this have to be brought up?

You want a Virgo man . . you do ALL the work . . or, walk away.

"no I don't grab his a** at the water cooler and call him Big Daddy"

I second that "lol". However, menaremysteries . . that is exactly what he (Virgo Man) wants you to do. They don't want a woman to seduce them, that's why he backs away when you play coy, or try to be a lady . . rip his clothes off, throw him down (of course, you HAVE to be on top because they are too submissive to take control), grap his ass, then . . he'll be ready to be your Big Daddy.

Be the sweet passive woman that he pretends he wants of you . . he'll be shy and withdraw. They hold the territory of submission . . they want you to take control and be dominate.

At least, every Virgo man I've ever met has been this way. Perhaps, there's some that aren't, but, not that I know of. In fact, there are several women in this forum I've talked to from time to time about this topic and they verify that this is their V-man, as well.

Menare!

Told. You. So.

Virgos tend to be sexual voyeurs not sexual explorers.

Sorry this is happening. Libra and Virgo are not sexually compatible.

*** Be the sweet passive woman that he pretends he wants of you . . he'll be shy and withdraw. They hold the territory of submission . . they want you to take control and be dominate.

Nope.

If she does that with this guy, he will pull away and not be able too for a long time.

trust me. been there. done it. not fun.

Nope, not fun at all. Dependable, smart, logical . . no fun, though.

Sorry, don't know the dynamics of this potential union . . just responding to this particular post.

🙂

neither do I. Just sounds a hell of a lot like something I was involved in.

I find virgos who are sexually inhibited can't surrender control at all. They need to be in control. They have a hard time relaxing and just going with the flow.

Too bad. If it wasn't for that, I think Libra/Virgo is the perfect match.

Really, I wouldn't have thought the L/V match would be very good. Can't say that I can think of a union, though, to make an assessment.

I only say this because Libra's seem to tend to wiegh everything out so heavily, and, though, that's not a bad quality . . it's just that Virgo's need prodding and if both people are sitting back, thinking it completely through . . it loses spontaneous pleasure. But, since, I'm neither Libra, nor, Virgo, I can only guess.

only say this because Libra's seem to tend to wiegh everything out so heavily, and, though, that's not a bad quality . . it's just that Virgo's need prodding and if both people are sitting back, thinking it completely through . . it loses spontaneous pleasure. But, since, I'm neither Libra, nor, Virgo, I can only guess

P-Angel you hit the nail on the head.....I ANALYZE EVERYTHING and I mean every little detail!!!! I'm also not really a forward person....I am used to being pursued by men....My V guy knows this he was like I'm probably the first guy that wanted to wait with you.....Surprisingly we are sexually compatible. I just think sex is more important than he does......if he gets it good if not whatever.....Even when we're together I'll want to have sex and sometimes he just wants to be with me. That's fine and all but you all know how it is when a relationship is new........so at this rate with me not really being forward and him not being forward and not really looking at sex as a big component of the relationship....I'll probably start training for the NY marathon or something

As for the Ol' Dawg, I've shared enough real-life stuff on here to prove we're not as boring as some might think; but, if you don't believe me, then there's always FC!!

No virgos are not boring.....my guy and I have the liveliest conversations he keeps me laughing the whole time because he's crazy like me....I make him laugh but he tries to hide it! When I mention something sexual I can hear him blushing on the phone or he'll say okay okay enough of that...and he's older than me! I am by no means a talk sex all the time person actually unless I know you extremely well I avoid the topic but I'm also not a prude.

He's opening up to me in every other aspect....he just really shys away from the intimate stuff....it's weird

Surprisingly we are sexually compatible. I just think sex is more important than he does......

This is sexual incompatibility. It will get worse over time.

Dyr, my boy,

Stodgy IS the definition of the typical male Virgo . . it's YOU who is different from your kind.lol

If you read posts in here, for years, people have been saying that Virgo's are boring. I mean, "emotionally FLAT & uninspiring" just about says it all, coming from other's peoples experience and opinion.

How we view ourselves isn't necessarily how other people see us . . Dyr ——

Bullshit, Branh, not keeping a woman has nothing to do with location and population. This view pretty much answers the question of this thread.

"That is because a woman, under no circumstances will keep interest in me, as there are more men that she could go towards."

No, actually, this is because YOU just don't know how to keep her. People don't like it when I talk for them, but, I'm certain that women will agree with me on this one: If a man makes a female feel like a woman and knows how to treat her and care for her, she'll follow you to the ends of the earth. We are in constant search of a man who can speak to our hearts without uttering a word and knows how to gently wrap the blanket of security around our tender emotions . . period.

She doesn't keep interest in you because you're stodgy (thanks for the term, Dyr) and so will go towards another man, in her search to find Mr. Right. If YOU were Mr. Right, she would dedicate the rest of her life, trying to make you as happy as you make her.

See, this is the Virgo . . they've no clue. It's got to be some other reason than just their inability to make a woman feel complete . . what was it you said? Something about it being in the Virgo nature to shrug off intimacy?

Bingo

lol, region? Population? Geeeeeeeeeez. You may never get it, that is, unless you know how to become unborn and reborn again under another sun sign. Maybe in your next life !!!!!1

"However a Virgo is always going to be guarded if he doesn't feel assured or comfortable with the other person."

I find this very interesting . . people, all people, subconsciously project onto the world, how they view themselves . . obviously, since it's our inner voice, our subconscious that guides us.

So, does this actually explain to everyone what they have been seeking to learn in the Virgo? Why do they pull back, why the silence, why the confusion?

No matter how much a person may assure the Virgo that they are loved and safe . . they aren't sure of themselves and remain guarded, not of thier partner, rather, themselves. It's within their own skin that there is no level of comfort, so, ultimately, there can be nobody in this world who can make them feel at ease.

It's not US who can do anything for you, we can wait for an eternity, and often do, to no avail because it's your inner voice who tells you YOU aren't safe within yourself.

Ummmmmmm . . . yet, the Virgo has the desire to make people THINK they are confident about themselves. Why is that? So, we will never suspect that deep down inside, you're not worthy of yourself? If you're not worthy of yourself, how can anybody else be worthy of you?

If you see red dots forming on your computer screen . . I finally popped.

Any number of things can make a woman happy. Shopping, girls night out, new pair of shoes, a heart to heart with their best friend, or her favorite soap opera...

😛 😛 😛 😛 😛 You can't be serious Branh - where do you find these 'girls'...

Wow P-Angel - of course that applies to everyone doesn't it - I give myself that lecture about being comfortable with myself regularly. But speaking of the Virgo in my life, no-one makes me feel LESS safe particularly because he is so guarded. It's a vicious circle...

*** Virgos actually are security to women, that is not the problem. most women will say that Virgos are well-rounded, intelligent, dependable, reliable, honest, and loyal.

Pretty much.

*** most guys don't like sappiness.

Pretty much.

*** I guess that is because of my Libra rising and my Gemini moon, which may negate much of my Virgo boring sexuality

Probably.

Virgos aren't boring sexually. They just have a hard time to relax. They also tend to be voyeurs and enjoying watching more than engaging.

***. they aren't sure of themselves and remain guarded,

untrue. I own the inner world of my ex. Once he knew he could trust me, and he was not guarded with me.

that being said, the way to a Virgo's heart is not through reassurance ... they tend to see that as manipulation. The way to a Virgo's heart is to stay firm in your own life, be stable, deal with your own crap, and appreciate them with no expectation. If you show them you are rock solid, they come your way.

No, Branh, to all your things about making a woman happy and her needing the security of your intelligence . . when you realize that this is NOT what we need to feel complete, then your life will change having a woman by your side, until death parts you.

We want, oh, yes . . we definitely want . . all of it. But, at the end of the day, after we've bought a new pair of shoes . . we're still unhappy and are thinking about Mr. Right . . where he is, will we ever find him.

We can make our own money, we have brains also . . what we don't need you to do that for us. What we need is . . . INTIMACY . . you know, the thing, you as a Virgo shrugs off as unnecessry.

There's no point, I know you don't get it. I've never met a Virgo who does, not even Dyr, though, he thinks he has it figured out. See, that's the thing . . it's not about figuring something out . . there's nothing to figure out . . it's about feeling the other person within you, it's about wanting to give the other person because you can feel them . . not, because they might give you some ass.

That is the aim to the male Virgo. . if I do this maybe she'll put-out.
What about . . if I do this, she'll feel like a loved woman and I want her to feel me.

*** Virgos aren't boring sexually. They just have a hard time to relax. They also tend to be voyeurs and enjoying watching more than engaging.

Furthermore: They just tend to be uncomfortable in their own skin and have a hard time sharing their bodies. I suspect there is some serious Madonna-Whore crap going on too.

This is generally bad for Libra because Libras use sex to espress affection, happiness, love, boredom, loneliness ... pretty much everything. We are just very affectionate folk who don't really understand why Virgo doesn't want to share back.

This is also why Virgo can do very well with Libra because Libra boosts their confidence as thrives in the affection of the Libra. Also, Virgo-Libra has ajoining sign sympathies which can be very loving.

What about . . if I do this, she'll feel like a loved woman and I want her to feel me.

Seems to me that a lot of people just aren't comfortable with that. I agree that I like'd like that too - but then that's you and me. There are a lot of people in my life that aren't like that. As you have already said - the 'feeling me' part only works if you are comfortable with YOURSELF. Otherwise that's the last thing someone wants - it's getting too close...

Perhaps, that's the whole reason . . what I said before.

The Virgo DOESN'T want the woman to feel him, the Virgo doesn't want to shine himself into her heart . . because then she might find that he feels inferiour about himself.

LS: "The way to a Virgo's heart is to stay firm in your own life, be stable, deal with your own crap, and appreciate them with no expectation. If you show them you are rock solid, they come your way."

Yes, because they are unstable within themselves . . guarded and insecure . . so, naturally they would want this of another person. Yes, this makes sense.

If a person is unsure about themselves, then how can they make another person feel sure about them?

I agree with you ScorpGal, never has my Virgo made me feel secure and safe within him. He makes a lot of money, he can fix just about anything, he is so reliable I can pick up the phone before it ever rings to hear his voice . . but, WITHIN him . . no way.

*** Any number of things can make a woman happy. Shopping, girls night out, new pair of shoes, a heart to heart with their best friend, or her favorite soap opera... You can't be serious Branh - where do you find these 'girls'...

I think there is a lot of truth to this. Lots of things make me happy. A long talk with my best friend over wine is one of gifts the universe can go. I got a card in the mail from a friend and that made me happy. New shoes do make me happy. When my cat sleeps with me, it makes me happy.

I think happiness is found in the little things.

There can be more than one reason people don't want you 'feeling' them P-Angel, or seeing too closely. The first can be that there just isn't much there. Some people just aren't that deep. It's hard to share something you just don't have. I think that's one of my insecurities - that I might actually be like that.

Then there is the other side. My Virgo friend has occasionally given me a glimpse of his world. Whew... That would be enough to send a lot of people running away looking for that safe, secure person.

*** The Virgo DOESN'T want the woman to feel him, the Virgo doesn't want to shine himself into her heart . . because then she might find that he feels inferior about himself.

Virgos need to be loved. Everyone does.

He just can't give his heart to someone who needs him. If she doesn't need him, he can open his heart completely too her because he knows he is loved not needed. In some ways, the world is too much with him. He doesn't want emotional burden, he wants emotional safety. Knowing that if he screws up she won't get mad or fall to pieces is what he needs. He needs approval. Real approval. Saying it doesn't make it. Being it does.

*** If a person is unsure about themselves, then how can they make another person feel sure about them?

That beautiful little word trust. Get to know them, not crap like my cat died when I was five it was traumatic, get to know who they are in relation to the world. Get to know how they love. Get to know how they see themselves. Observe and understand them, and you will naturally begin to trust him.

*** I agree with you ScorpGal, never has my Virgo made me feel secure and safe within him.

I have never felt more safe and secure than when I was with my last Virgo male.

Hmmmmm, things are becoming clearer to me, here.

So, who is the perfect partner for the Virgo? Who doesn't care how insecure and unworthy the Virgo is inside of themselves?

The term that I use to describe the Virgo sexually is actually not sexual at all, once I fully comprehend all this: Submissive

Though, it's accurate in everyday life. A person who feels that they are inadequate and inferiour to THEMSELVES would appear submissive and subserviant, yet, because they have superiour brain-power, it would come out as being critical and fussy . . it's a continual battle within themselves . . so, being critical is really because they lack self-worth and can't handle that someone else has confidence and determination.

I think the problem people have with Virgos is that they don't allow Virgos to be human.

Actually Branh I LOVE people who are human. I have more of a problem with people who don't let themselves be. I think that's one of P-Angel's points. If someone let's us see how human they are - that's a form of intimacy and it can be pretty scary stuff.

*** There can be more than one reason people don't want you 'feeling' them P-Angel, or seeing too closely.

The greatest human need is the need to be understood and accepted.

*** Virgos want to be seen as a human, with flaws, and with limitation. That is when a Virgo truely is himself, when a partner appears that they won't gasp when they find out he is not some deity.

yes. well put branh.

He just can't give his heart to someone who needs him. If she doesn't need him, he can open his heart completely too her because he knows he is loved not needed. In some ways, the world is too much with him. He doesn't want emotional burden, he wants emotional safety. Knowing that if he screws up she won't get mad or fall to pieces is what he needs. He needs approval. Real approval. Saying it doesn't make it. Being it does.

That is a very good point little sparrow. It's a problem between my Virgo friend and myself for sure. Why?? Well, I'm thinking about this and realizing something about what I am looking for in a relationship right now. It's definitely NOT that I am clingy or needy in that sense. What I AM is totally independent,stubborn and maybe even a bit pig-headed 😉. I never ask anyone for ANYTHING. But that doesn't lead to intimacy either. So what I want is to find someone that I trust enough to be a bit 'needy' with so I can learn not to be so damned independent.

Hmm, how can we have this meet both our needs—

You see you are missing one little element.

Virgos don't want emotional partners. In order to trust the other partner, the partner has to be solid. Also a Virgo doesn't want your help. They want your acceptance. And herein lies the crux of your problem.

Yes, LS, this is correct: "He doesn't want emotional burden, he wants emotional safety"

BUt, think about that . . if he doesn't provide emotional safety to his partner, then how can he expect it back? Furthermore, if he does find a person who will give him emotinal safety without provided it . .doesn't that make HIM the emotinal burden to his partner?

ScorpGal: "There can be more than one reason people don't want you 'feeling' them P-Angel, or seeing too closely. The first can be that there just isn't much there. Some people just aren't that deep. It's hard to share something you just don't have."

YOu got a point. A person can't give what they don't have. It's doubtful, though, that you have this malady. I dont' really know you, but, I'm very close to Scorpio's in my life and depth is something they have tons of.

You keep saying I care that is why I want to change you. You should be saying I care that is why I accept you. Flaws and all.

if he doesn't provide emotional safety to his partner, then how can he expect it back?

the problem is in the way men and women define emotional safety. It is very different.

It's just that it's a two-way street.

Having to keep the Virgo feeling safe emotionally, without giving it back, overtime, becomes a burden, becomes baggage.

Perhpas, I'll never figure them out.

** Having to keep the Virgo feeling safe emotionally,

As I said, stop reassuring them. Just accept them.

Agreed that it's different within the genders. But, to the male Virgo, shruggin off intimacy, yet, providing material needs is their idea of giving a woman what she needs. And, though, at first, a woman can hanlde this . . in fact, to a woman, who is driven by her emotions, will proably even find this as a place for her to find happiness.

I mean, if you find someone who is weak emotionally, you being woman might interpret this as being "needed". Overtime, though, is there contentment with always being needed for your emotional duties given, and recieving material securities?

That sounds too much like having a cause . . I don't want a cause, I want a man who wants to provide emotional security because he wants me to feel like a loved woman.

The greatest human need is the need to be understood and accepted.

That's so true little sparrow, but it doesn't necessarily mean that we are brave enough to let other people see who we are. Then again, P-Angel made the point that others don't see us as we see ourselves anyway. So I guess we want people to accept who we THINK we are... Hmm this is getting awfully complicated...

And you think you don't have depth, lol

Maybe we're not suppose to figure each other out . . maybe that's why we spend our whole lives asking these questions.

** But, to the male Virgo, shruggin off intimacy, yet, providing material needs is their idea of giving a woman what she needs.

Yes. They provide for a woman materially and if you see this as a very loving action, you are on your way to understanding them. You see a Virgo man can be very intimate and loving. You just have to accept him. Over time, he will open up.

Oh wait ... are you talking about shrugging off sex or emotional intimacy?

*** I want a man who wants to provide emotional security because he wants me to feel like a loved woman.

Perhaps, on some level, you and this man are just incompatible and unable to give each other what you both need. It happens. It isn't fun when it does.

That sounds too much like having a cause . . I don't want a cause, I want a man who wants to provide emotional security because he wants me to feel like a loved woman.

I'm seeing the flip side to that though... If you want someone to provide emotional security and the way they are doesn't give you that - then doesn't that mean you are asking them to change and make you THEIR cause?

*** it doesn't necessarily mean that we are brave enough to let other people see who we are.

It means we CHOOSE who we show ourselves too. We do not show our innerselves to everyone we meet/date/love/marry. It is something that is earned not just a right that is given.

*** If you want someone to provide emotional security and the way they are doesn't give you that - then doesn't that mean you are asking them to change

yes

Perhaps, on some level, you and this man are just incompatible and unable to give each other what you both need. It happens. It isn't fun when it does.

Yup - been there - done that. Maybe we expect too much out of our partners though. We feel like we are giving and giving because we are compromising for them and don't see that they are doing the same in return. They probably are though, just in their own way. I'll bet if you asked your partner P-Angel he'd tell you that he feels that way too.