Be brutally honest, or?

So as some of you may know, I'm on POF. A virgo just sent me a message asking why i didn't message him after viewing his profile.. (I pretty well checked out everyone into the same things as I am who are within 100 miles or so) well tbh, it scared me a little bit- he has a daughter, comes out and says he sometimes plays dirty (as in, nasty/mean/cruel), and makes references to pot.. which in and of itself isn't a big deal to me, I don't care, but I've just met a few too many people who do pot who are not good people. I'm too caring and nice of a person to totally just ignore it and I don't want to hurt anyone's feeling either. Plus I'm sorta pursuing a Taurus at the moment, nothing committed/serious yet, but it would be nice...

So.. I don't mind being friends with anyone, everyone hell. And in some ways what he said was flattering. But eh.. idk about those scary parts. How would you suggest I answer this? My mom is a virgo and I know just how sensitive you all can be. She doesn't take kindly to my abrasive, brutally honest side. She gets really hurt.

So I took ya'lls advice.. and I need to mention it's not smoking that is the issue, its the type of people normally associated with drugs. But not all of them are like that, and I feel everyone deserves a chance.. Well apparently he is the persistent type, this is what he replied..

(with part of it removed because to me its a non issue and I don't want to go there)
learn from the times people have ****ed you over don't go prejudicial on people...are you really going to discriminate against people who use an herb in a way that you do not? you might as well wish for breed of plants extinction. You should speak to Hecate ask her about (his name). See if the word love doesn't come out of her mouth. I know you have a sense of humor and I'm aware of some other things. I never got defensive with you. You are closed and I just wanted to find away to open you up. I promise if you continue to talk to me I will not use that psychological trickery anymore. You know I messaged you and didn't refrain from doing so even when you didn't have a pic on your profile. I love your new pic by the you're absolutely gorgeous.

So yeah, I feel like my Scorpio mysticism has been violated. But I feel flattered also. Quite an odd dilemma. And of course, I'm still interested in the Taurus, but he is confusing the hell out of me. I cannot tell if he's interested or merely friendly. Its not like I'm committed, so I'm still interested in getting to know more people.. I have absolutely no idea what to say, or how to feel about this. Thankfully its all via email, or Id be stammering. "Uh, uh, uh..." wait a minute, you aren't supposed to be able to get through my walls like that!

Yeah, I'd steer clear of him. Honestly.
NOT how you want to start the new year off.
He's basically giving you warnings that he's only trouble.
Heed 'em.

LOL Oh dear.

Thanks guys ^.^ yeah, had to look up 'gaslighting'. But I can see what you mean, now I understand that word. My intuition is putting up walls already.

Posted by Skykomish
So as some of you may know, I'm on POF. A virgo just sent me a message asking why i didn't message him after viewing his profile.. (I pretty well checked out everyone into the same things as I am who are within 100 miles or so) well tbh, it scared me a little bit- he has a daughter, comes out and says he sometimes plays dirty (as in, nasty/mean/cruel), and makes references to pot.. which in and of itself isn't a big deal to me, I don't care, but I've just met a few too many people who do pot who are not good people. I'm too caring and nice of a person to totally just ignore it and I don't want to hurt anyone's feeling either. Plus I'm sorta pursuing a Taurus at the moment, nothing committed/serious yet, but it would be nice...

So.. I don't mind being friends with anyone, everyone hell. And in some ways what he said was flattering. But eh.. idk about those scary parts. How would you suggest I answer this? My mom is a virgo and I know just how sensitive you all can be. She doesn't take kindly to my abrasive, brutally honest side. She gets really hurt.

No idea what POF is, but keep in mind that surveys say 25% of the US population has smoked or does smoke pot. That's a lot of people to blow off without getting to know them. I've met monsters that smoke, as well as my all-time forever best friends. Think of it the same as alcohol. Is the actions, not the preferred recreational substance. If holmes hands out with felony dealers, then no. But if he gets his relaxation from a decent source and keeps a job, etc. then don't be a prude. Unless pot is one of your deal-killers. In which case tell him politely and move on.

And if his initials are ELvP, run like hell.