Hairazor
@Hairazor
13 YearsLeo
Comments: 0 · Posts: 78 · Topics: 14
Boy Do I Need Some Advice With My Virgo...
You are on page out of 2 | Reverse Order
So I respond with... I was just remembering the last time you were here, you told me that there was only 1 other girl that you liked as much as you did me and that it had only lasted a couple of month. The suddenness of this as everything was so kewl between us just a few days ago is really f'n with me. I believed you. I saw it in your eyes. It made me feel special to you. So no. I don't quite know what is happening nor do I understand all of this. I don't want to be second to anything. The one thing I admired about you the most is how you put your family first and never wavered from that. I knew when the time came, any woman of yours would come first. I wanted to be that. Love is worth waiting for and I was willing to wait. The suddenness of this hurts. I thought I was the one that made it through your filters that made it to the "top 2" but had stayed for many months more. So yea...my heart hurts....the thought of loosing you hurts....missing you hurts.
Besides giving him space, what is you asking me to do while he figures out what he wants?
How do I handle this?
Any other advice would be appreciated...
Besides giving him space, what is you asking me to do while he figures out what he wants?
How do I handle this?
Any other advice would be appreciated...
Sweetheart I am sorry to hear about your pain, whether he is a virgo or any other sign you need to give him the space, if there are any feelings there he will miss you and know you are the one he wants, you need to give him the space to analyse the situation, if it is meant to be he will be back, do you really want someone who is willing to let you feel like this? ok he would have been nicer for him to tell you straight rather than avoid you, he eventually gave it to you Im assuming honestly and bluntly, that doesnt make him a bad guy but you have to look after you, so go out, show you are the life and soul and put your energy into you and enjoy yourself as much as possible, if nothing else it will break the fall I promise... good luck
Posted by Let*It*Be
What the Gemini said ^^ give the man his space. He is in analyze mode. It sucks that it came to this, but one thing is for sure, he is being HONEST with you, and he will be honest with himself. He will choose which path to take, and if it's not with you at least you won't get the circle jerk, or worse him trying to burn both ends of the candle without either of you knowing about it. Virgos are loyal, hence his MIA. Once there's doubt, they have to work that out completely in their heads and make a decision. Once he does, that's it. If you are on the lucky end of this, remember, you already told him how it feels, don't drag into the future if you have one with him. He'll walk.
Spot on.. must be the mercury 🙂 .. and in my case a hard lesson once!
He has chosen his path and it is not with me. 😢 Yes. He was very honest and blunt. Hurts...
Seems like every time he clarifies this decision of his to you = your come back is to make sure he knows that you want him and will miss him and love him.
that ^^^^^^ gives the impression that you would take him in a second should he decide to choose you .. and I find that pretty disgusting, actually.
Even the people giving you counsel in here, it sounds like they are telling you that you should bend and be patient and await him, should he decide to change his mind, or if it doesn't work with the other girl.
I've read this a couple times and I'm still left with the same impression = you will make damn sure he knows that you are on his back burner, ready for another turn, soley at his discretion ... and it doesn't get more fucked up than that for you, eventhough it sounds like you don't mind because you haven't thought with your brain yet, and are still reacting off of feelings.
that ^^^^^^ gives the impression that you would take him in a second should he decide to choose you .. and I find that pretty disgusting, actually.
Even the people giving you counsel in here, it sounds like they are telling you that you should bend and be patient and await him, should he decide to change his mind, or if it doesn't work with the other girl.
I've read this a couple times and I'm still left with the same impression = you will make damn sure he knows that you are on his back burner, ready for another turn, soley at his discretion ... and it doesn't get more fucked up than that for you, eventhough it sounds like you don't mind because you haven't thought with your brain yet, and are still reacting off of feelings.
Posted by Hairazor
.... and she of course knows my dilemma..but has been cool with that from the get go...
This reminds me situations that happen often, but, people are usually unable to put two and two together, so end up only reacting to effect, and never look at the cause because they are unable to.
Like for example .... a girl would get upset because her boyfriend's ex-girlfriend texted her and told her to back off bitch, she's taking him back. In this scenario, it will never cross the girl's mind that the ONLY WAY the ex can text her is if HE GAVE THE EX HER INFORMATION.
So, your Virgo's ex knows all about you and she has been cool with that from the get go? So, this means that the whole time he's been whispering sweet nothings in your ear, the ex has been cool with that?
You are reacting emotionally to him playing your feelings. Instead of just letting your words to him drop off, as he turns the other cheek after informing you of his decision to break off with you .... he continues to keep contacting you and telling you about the other woman and how he is going to give it another go with you.
Why would he continue to keep telling you about it? That's not being honest, that's being a head-player. An honest man who has decided to let his girlfriend go ... tells her why and walks the fuck away. He's not doing that, is he?
He keeps you on the back burner, where you decide to sit willingly for some stupid fucking reason ..... why? so, your arms will be open should he get mad at her and needs comfort?
so, this means that the whole time he was with you .... he kept her .. kept her right where he's keeping you should he decide to want her again, so her arms would be open for him.
Seriously ..... you really have no pride?
Posted by Hairazor
.... but we both thought it was better to move on ...well I'm a slow mover and turns out she is to...
This translate to: he's telling you he's never moved on >> away from her
.... which means the whole time you thought he was with YOU he wasn't, he was still with HER
Posted by Hairazor
She's had some drastic changes come about that I can relate to and she of course knows my dilemma..but has been cool with that from the get go...so I'm sorta doing donuts here...
I can't get past this part, where he is basically telling you that she has been apart of his life the whole time, in that she's been cool with knowing what's going on in his life from the get go ....
doing donuts? translate to: he wants you to know that she matters
Listen to me - a man who is honest and fair wouldn't tell you these things. He wouldn't make you feel like there was someone else all along who was this special to him. A good man who is honest and fair would just tell you that it isn't working out for him, that he cared while it lasted, but, you're not what he was looking for and that he's sorry that he hurt you. I'm telling you, a good man would NOT make suggestions in your psyche which tells you that there has beenn another woman all along who was more special to him than you.
Posted by Hairazor
I don't buy the e-mail part.
click to expand
Of course you buy it, you've bought everything he has said .... that's why you keep letting him know that you still love him and want and miss him.
don't be a fool ... the only person that hurts is you
Let me clarify first that at first I read the message as if he were choosing between the 2 of us. Hence the responses. After reading it several times later, I got what he was saying. The first one I do state that I may or may not be around. i.e. I will not wait for him. I have accepted 2 dates already. I'm having to force myself, but I have to move past. The dilemma that he has is that he is the sole caretaker of his elderly mother. The reason he broke up with her as he felt he couldn't give her 100% . Am I reacting on emotion? Absolutely I am.
Yes, as per his last message evidently he was in love with her the entire time. Unbeknownst to me.
J.. you are kewl as hell and fun and funny and broke a lot of walls with me I thought I'd never let down and HATE making you sad!!! I didnt count on things getting so complcated and had to reel in my emotions at times ... thats why i tried to be "CAREFULL" ... But I have had alot of feeling for her.. love, I guess ..spent a lot of time, done a lot of things..till my mom needed more an more care..and i hate puttin in less than all.. so I sort of pushed tha issue to let it go cuz I was pissed at my situation...You truly understood that!!! And so did she....its hard to trash several years when I was to blame for takin out the garbage.....its more than a couple of e-mails ..there's sum history involved... its not you or her .. it's apples and oranges.... she's been a along time and had her chance to bolt but still wants me for whatever reason. That's all...You're awsome.!!!! No matter what you think of me!! I understand....
I messaged him back saying that he has made his decision. That I was running on pure emotion, hurt, sad and shocked to learn that he was in love with someone else the entire time. That I didn't understand why he let it go this far and I can't hear how much he cares about me. So there is nothing left to say. Then wished him well....
Yes, as per his last message evidently he was in love with her the entire time. Unbeknownst to me.
J.. you are kewl as hell and fun and funny and broke a lot of walls with me I thought I'd never let down and HATE making you sad!!! I didnt count on things getting so complcated and had to reel in my emotions at times ... thats why i tried to be "CAREFULL" ... But I have had alot of feeling for her.. love, I guess ..spent a lot of time, done a lot of things..till my mom needed more an more care..and i hate puttin in less than all.. so I sort of pushed tha issue to let it go cuz I was pissed at my situation...You truly understood that!!! And so did she....its hard to trash several years when I was to blame for takin out the garbage.....its more than a couple of e-mails ..there's sum history involved... its not you or her .. it's apples and oranges.... she's been a along time and had her chance to bolt but still wants me for whatever reason. That's all...You're awsome.!!!! No matter what you think of me!! I understand....
I messaged him back saying that he has made his decision. That I was running on pure emotion, hurt, sad and shocked to learn that he was in love with someone else the entire time. That I didn't understand why he let it go this far and I can't hear how much he cares about me. So there is nothing left to say. Then wished him well....
I do love him and miss him terribly.
Phooooooo... He is telling you, but going around the houses a little and yes I think he maybe either keeping you on keeping you on the back burner or isnt courageous enough to be Bam with it,sometimes being cruel is much more kind, I would rather have that straight up aproach. You gotta run with your head now and show you are not going to be waiting around as some second best thing.. Hurting is nasty but all the time you are feeling like this is a missed opportunity for someone who truely wants to love you for you.. and there will be someone x
"He is telling you, but going around the houses a little"
Absolutely. And telling me how much he cares about me at the same time!
Absolutely. And telling me how much he cares about me at the same time!
Posted by Hairazor
"He is telling you, but going around the houses a little"
Absolutely. And telling me how much he cares about me at the same time!
Yes, So let him know, you are way to good for this and if he wants a woman who let him go in the first place then thats his choice
Bull-Fucking-Shit .... don't tell him anything.
Nothing, zilch
"Yes, So let him know, you are way to good for this and if he wants a woman who let him go in the first place then thats his choice"
the only thing that ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ does is to play games with his head. Only a person who can't suffer themselves would attempt to laid this crap on the other.
There's no reason to say soemthing like that except to get an emotional reaction out of him .. which means you would have no intentions of moving on .. rather, just wanting to play a head game.
If you really love yourself and value yourself, then these thoughts you have of him still wouldn't even exist, much less a thread in here to talk about it so you can continue to embrace these feelings.
people are so fucked up, seriously ... they hold these negative feelings just like you are doing right now, and believing it is a positive thing, based soley on the fact that you feel love. But, this love can only bring you to a bitter end .. it's not fucking positive. It leads nowhere except pain.
How the in hell can you sit there and hold dear to you that he had you on the back burner, loving her the entire time? You talk about in here like it's perfectly ok to do becausse you aren't even pissed off ... your only emotional sentiment in here is expressing how much you love the fucking bastard.
:::: shakes head :::::
what the fuck is the matter with you?
Nothing, zilch
"Yes, So let him know, you are way to good for this and if he wants a woman who let him go in the first place then thats his choice"
the only thing that ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ does is to play games with his head. Only a person who can't suffer themselves would attempt to laid this crap on the other.
There's no reason to say soemthing like that except to get an emotional reaction out of him .. which means you would have no intentions of moving on .. rather, just wanting to play a head game.
If you really love yourself and value yourself, then these thoughts you have of him still wouldn't even exist, much less a thread in here to talk about it so you can continue to embrace these feelings.
people are so fucked up, seriously ... they hold these negative feelings just like you are doing right now, and believing it is a positive thing, based soley on the fact that you feel love. But, this love can only bring you to a bitter end .. it's not fucking positive. It leads nowhere except pain.
How the in hell can you sit there and hold dear to you that he had you on the back burner, loving her the entire time? You talk about in here like it's perfectly ok to do becausse you aren't even pissed off ... your only emotional sentiment in here is expressing how much you love the fucking bastard.
:::: shakes head :::::
what the fuck is the matter with you?
Posted by Hairazor
"He is telling you, but going around the houses a little"
Absolutely. And telling me how much he cares about me at the same time!
How can you possibly say that ^^^ say what's in the entire thread, in which YOU KNOW FULL WELL that you are second to him and still come in here to talk about how much you hurt over him.
don't you know that only a person who is special is suppose to deserve that emotion from you?
you don't know that, do you?
you are going to pine away for a bastard ... seriously, what the fuck?
How can you possibly say that ^^^ say what's in the entire thread, in which YOU KNOW FULL WELL that you are second to him and still come in here to talk about how much you hurt over him.
She deserves an off load of her feelings, opinions whether good or bad will eventually help her to get perspective even if she hasnt that now, emotions get in the way of seeing situations clearly, anyone knows that.
don't you know that only a person who is special is suppose to deserve that emotion from you?
In agreement here.
you don't know that, do you?
maybe she does, we cant make assumptions, read my response above.
you are going to pine away for a bastard ... seriously, what the fuck?
maybe not if we can help her in a truthful but positive way rather than coming across as attacking her and contributing to her feeling much worse, its the way it rolls
Please check out aries woman, virgo man help!....I really need some advice, thanks xx
Please check out aries woman, virgo man help!....I really need some advice, thanks xx
Please check out aries woman, virgo man help!....I really need some advice, thanks xx
Please check out aries woman, virgo man help!....I really need some advice, thanks xx
Posted by P-Angel
Bull-Fucking-Shit .... don't tell him anything.
Nothing, zilch
"Yes, So let him know, you are way to good for this and if he wants a woman who let him go in the first place then thats his choice"
the only thing that ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ does is to play games with his head. Only a person who can't suffer themselves would attempt to laid this crap on the other.
There's no reason to say soemthing like that except to get an emotional reaction out of him .. which means you would have no intentions of moving on .. rather, just wanting to play a head game.
If you really love yourself and value yourself, then these thoughts you have of him still wouldn't even exist, much less a thread in here to talk about it so you can continue to embrace these feelings.
people are so fucked up, seriously ... they hold these negative feelings just like you are doing right now, and believing it is a positive thing, based soley on the fact that you feel love. But, this love can only bring you to a bitter end .. it's not fucking positive. It leads nowhere except pain.
How the in hell can you sit there and hold dear to you that he had you on the back burner, loving her the entire time? You talk about in here like it's perfectly ok to do becausse you aren't even pissed off ... your only emotional sentiment in here is expressing how much you love the fucking bastard.
:::: shakes head :::::
what the fuck is the matter with you?
I'm not a game player. I'm not telling him jack shit...
This only happened Sunday night and the last message was last night. It's a process to work through and then let go. I am feeling pissed today.
I had no idea at all of this at all. It is not the same girl that I mention in the original post.
Nothing is the matter with me. I'm hurt. I got dumped for another woman that he loves that he never spoke of and that I had no earthly idea about. I'm pissed that he let it go as far as it did. He even ended it once and then wanted to work it out.
Posted by P-AngelPosted by Hairazor
"He is telling you, but going around the houses a little"
Absolutely. And telling me how much he cares about me at the same time!
How can you possibly say that ^^^ say what's in the entire thread, in which YOU KNOW FULL WELL that you are second to him and still come in here to talk about how much you hurt over him.
don't you know that only a person who is special is suppose to deserve that emotion from you?
you don't know that, do you?
you are going to pine away for a bastard ... seriously, what the fuck?click to expand
I knew I was second on Sunday. I mention in my second response to him that "I don't want to be second to anything." And I won't. I do hurt. I'm not pining. I am working through the emotions to get past. I am a firm believer that to move on you have to face all the emotions head on one at a time. Once you work through them, the process is done and I can move on. I don't want to carry any negative feelings into the future.
Posted by guccigemini55
How can you possibly say that ^^^ say what's in the entire thread, in which YOU KNOW FULL WELL that you are second to him and still come in here to talk about how much you hurt over him.
She deserves an off load of her feelings, opinions whether good or bad will eventually help her to get perspective even if she hasnt that now, emotions get in the way of seeing situations clearly, anyone knows that.
don't you know that only a person who is special is suppose to deserve that emotion from you?
In agreement here.
you don't know that, do you?
maybe she does, we cant make assumptions, read my response above.
you are going to pine away for a bastard ... seriously, what the fuck?
maybe not if we can help her in a truthful but positive way rather than coming across as attacking her and contributing to her feeling much worse, its the way it rolls
Exactly. When you are running on emotion it helps to get perspective a direction that is concrete.
This all just happened in the last 2 days. I thought he was special...until he blind sighted me with the news of this girl he had never mentioned before.
Again...not pining. Still raw and working through. It has only been 2 days....
Posted by guccigemini55
How can you possibly say that ^^^ say what's in the entire thread, in which YOU KNOW FULL WELL that you are second to him and still come in here to talk about how much you hurt over him.
She deserves an off load of her feelings, opinions whether good or bad will eventually help her to get perspective even if she hasnt that now, emotions get in the way of seeing situations clearly, anyone knows that.
don't you know that only a person who is special is suppose to deserve that emotion from you?
In agreement here.
you don't know that, do you?
maybe she does, we cant make assumptions, read my response above.
you are going to pine away for a bastard ... seriously, what the fuck?
maybe not if we can help her in a truthful but positive way rather than coming across as attacking her and contributing to her feeling much worse, its the way it rolls
Exactly. When you are running on emotion it helps to get perspective a direction that is concrete.
This all just happened in the last 2 days. I thought he was special...until he blind sighted me with the news of this girl he had never mentioned before.
Again...not pining. Still raw and working through. It has only been 2 days....
I am a very positive person! I've been through worse and I am still kickin!!!
You know damn well that what is running through your minds is how to win him back, so that you are first.
Because according to what you wrote in here, you keep answering him back with sentiments telling him how much you miss him and love him.
fuck that ... if that's how little dignity you have then I guess you are perfect for the player, and will eagerly suffer the consequences.
To say it's a fresh injury is an excuse, and excuse so you can continue to want the bastard, because that's what people with no dignity does.
He told you .. there is an ex he prioritizes over you, and she is top dog ... at that precise moment what you were suppose to do was to stand tall, turn your back against him and never think of him again.
Nope you didn't do that ... instead you take every opportunity to tell him that you want him.
::::: shakes head ::::::
Suffer as you wish, then ..
Because according to what you wrote in here, you keep answering him back with sentiments telling him how much you miss him and love him.
fuck that ... if that's how little dignity you have then I guess you are perfect for the player, and will eagerly suffer the consequences.
To say it's a fresh injury is an excuse, and excuse so you can continue to want the bastard, because that's what people with no dignity does.
He told you .. there is an ex he prioritizes over you, and she is top dog ... at that precise moment what you were suppose to do was to stand tall, turn your back against him and never think of him again.
Nope you didn't do that ... instead you take every opportunity to tell him that you want him.
::::: shakes head ::::::
Suffer as you wish, then ..
Lol. No. Because I couldn't trust him as far as I could throw him.
That lasted about 2 weeks. Guess who he came back to? We are still broken up although I have seen him twice since then. He is feeling pressured and/or running scared because I dropped the ILU bomb. He says he is not ready for a committed relationship and needs to see other people right now but he cares about me a lot. I told him that I have to back away as #1 I will not sit on the back burner as I cannot feel secure in that situation. #2 There have been some outside issues with stress involved that have affected our relationship. Right now he feels that I'm not exactly right for him. If this is what he's feeling, then no matter how much it hurts, I have to give him the space to do what he feels he needs to do even if it means loosing him. 😢 He's feeling pressure and I'm hurt, so we have decided to take a break and talk again when the dust settles. His response to all this was...that he didn't blame me...that he wouldn't delete me...ask me not to delete him...and that he may end up regretting this... ::sigh::
Posted by Let*It*Be
He needs to grow up and figure out what he wants. In the mean time don't you dear let him rip open the wounds to pour salt into. Move on, find yourself a guy who will give you what you want. I wish you luck..
Nope. He was surprised when I told him that I had to let him go do what he needed to do. I think he half expected me to wait. I deserve more than to be on the back burner...especially seeing him since Sept. I half think it's the Virgo commitment thing, but at the same time, he has hurt me more than once. I can"t do it...
I have been dating others since albeit I have to force myself right now. But it will get easier...
P-Angel is so vulgar and distraught all the time. Although, I do sometimes agree with the things P-Angel says she has no tact which in turn makes people angry, thats not what they are looking for. It's clear they are looking for a response that says he is going to come back and everything is going to be perfect but thats not reality. P-Angel has some good points, I just think P-Angel could go about saying it in a better way. She's just downright rude.
Anywho..........
Hairazor, A Virgo who knows what they want will get what they want and will do anything for that person. Trust me I KNOW.
Clearly, he is lost and confused and his emotions are all over the place. Don't waste another minute on someone who isn't making you his number one. I know that you say that you are going to get over it and you will but its not going to be by keeping contact with him. He played with your emotions, had another woman who you knew nothing about decieved you and betrayed you why would you even think about being friends with someone like that? You can't trust that man, he's no friend. The damage is already done, Delete him, Don't message him, Don't hang out with him, None of that. Meet new people date around (not sleep around) and gain some confidence. Friends are people who help you not hurt you. My friend was a FWB with a Virgo she's a Cap, for 3 years, I say FWB benefit because he always played the lines, I dont know what I want, I am not ready, WHEN SOMEONE SAYS THESE THINGS WHAT THEY REALLY MEAN IS, I am not ready to be with YOU, I dont know if I want YOU. 9 times out of 10 you will waste all kinds of time with this person waiting on them and you will break up and he will be married to the next woman he dates who was more confident and a better suitor. You'll get better time heals all, but I suggest you cut it off now before it gets worse.
Anywho..........
Hairazor, A Virgo who knows what they want will get what they want and will do anything for that person. Trust me I KNOW.
Clearly, he is lost and confused and his emotions are all over the place. Don't waste another minute on someone who isn't making you his number one. I know that you say that you are going to get over it and you will but its not going to be by keeping contact with him. He played with your emotions, had another woman who you knew nothing about decieved you and betrayed you why would you even think about being friends with someone like that? You can't trust that man, he's no friend. The damage is already done, Delete him, Don't message him, Don't hang out with him, None of that. Meet new people date around (not sleep around) and gain some confidence. Friends are people who help you not hurt you. My friend was a FWB with a Virgo she's a Cap, for 3 years, I say FWB benefit because he always played the lines, I dont know what I want, I am not ready, WHEN SOMEONE SAYS THESE THINGS WHAT THEY REALLY MEAN IS, I am not ready to be with YOU, I dont know if I want YOU. 9 times out of 10 you will waste all kinds of time with this person waiting on them and you will break up and he will be married to the next woman he dates who was more confident and a better suitor. You'll get better time heals all, but I suggest you cut it off now before it gets worse.
like this part .......
Posted by Hairazor
That lasted about 2 weeks. Guess who he came back to?
He is feeling pressured and/or running scared because I dropped the ILU bomb.
He wonders back and she tells him she loves him. Which means she still has zero value. It's nothing more than a play on feelings, in which she obviously has no clue about because the only person who will suffer is her.
Posted by Hairazor
Right now he feels that I'm not exactly right for him. If this is what he's feeling, then no matter how much it hurts, I have to give him the space to do what he feels he needs to do even if it means loosing him. 😢 He's feeling pressure and I'm hurt, so we have decided to take a break and talk again when the dust settles. His response to all this was...that he didn't blame me...that he wouldn't delete me...ask me not to delete him...and that he may end up regretting this... ::sigh::
click to expand
Then she goes on to defend him and even sighs to make the impression that she is sad because he might have regrets in not wanting her.
That was 5 months ago, and I didn't bother to say any more to her because ....
Well, you know, a person can loose wieght, they can put on nice clothes, they can get a better job, they can many things to make themselves better ..
... but, you just can't fix stupid
Well, you know, a person can loose wieght, they can put on nice clothes, they can get a better job, they can many things to make themselves better ..
... but, you just can't fix stupid
+1 A+ GodMadeBeauty
I have not read the whole thread but at this point it's time to stop communicating with him, if you ever want a chance at this again STOP TALKING TO HIM. Why? Because right now he's doing typical man-boy stuff like telling you how great you are yet rejecting you by telling you he's unsure about you all the while he's making it work with someone else which causes confusion in YOU. So to avoid conflict and confusion just stop talking to him and don't communicate with him again until he's being forthright with you and not leading you on, he's not a bad guy, it's just that you're ALLOWING OPPORTUNITY for him to mislead you by communicating with him. The best way to preserve your self esteem and confidence is to move on completely, there may be another chance with him but not right now.
He's not confused, he's not unsure, he just doesn't see himself being with you long term, that's not your issue--it's his issue, he's using this woman as an excuse to dump you and let's be real here, if he wanted you in his life there is no way he'd let you go, it doesn't matter why he's letting go of the relationship with you, what matters is that YOU don't want a man that doesn't want you which helps you move on with your life.
I have not read the whole thread but at this point it's time to stop communicating with him, if you ever want a chance at this again STOP TALKING TO HIM. Why? Because right now he's doing typical man-boy stuff like telling you how great you are yet rejecting you by telling you he's unsure about you all the while he's making it work with someone else which causes confusion in YOU. So to avoid conflict and confusion just stop talking to him and don't communicate with him again until he's being forthright with you and not leading you on, he's not a bad guy, it's just that you're ALLOWING OPPORTUNITY for him to mislead you by communicating with him. The best way to preserve your self esteem and confidence is to move on completely, there may be another chance with him but not right now.
He's not confused, he's not unsure, he just doesn't see himself being with you long term, that's not your issue--it's his issue, he's using this woman as an excuse to dump you and let's be real here, if he wanted you in his life there is no way he'd let you go, it doesn't matter why he's letting go of the relationship with you, what matters is that YOU don't want a man that doesn't want you which helps you move on with your life.
And to give you a huge HINT why you should stop communicating. LOSS, loss is what is NEEDED for a man to FEEL something for you, you communicating makes him feel SAFE, safe that he hasn't LOST anything, safe that he can have his cake and eat it too without losing either of you, he feel so safe that he doesn't have to make any hard choices NOW, he has you on the side to whine to, to listen to him talk ABOUT HIMSELF AND HER, plus he has her and whomever else he's dealing with.
Men fear LOSS (a huge majority of them do) and if you go on completely, stop listening to him whine about another woman as if you're his mother, if you just stop being there he'll actually have time to figure things out much quicker than if you were consistently around holding his hand, listening intently like your his psychotherapist or his mom.
He's taking you for granted, and you're allowing him to devalue your worth by playing this game with him which doesn't motivate him, LOSS MOTIVATES A MAN--FEAR OF LOSING MOTIVATES A MAN. So to preserve your good feelings for him, move on, you do not want to feel used by him. End it on a good note and move on, he'll be back.
Men fear LOSS (a huge majority of them do) and if you go on completely, stop listening to him whine about another woman as if you're his mother, if you just stop being there he'll actually have time to figure things out much quicker than if you were consistently around holding his hand, listening intently like your his psychotherapist or his mom.
He's taking you for granted, and you're allowing him to devalue your worth by playing this game with him which doesn't motivate him, LOSS MOTIVATES A MAN--FEAR OF LOSING MOTIVATES A MAN. So to preserve your good feelings for him, move on, you do not want to feel used by him. End it on a good note and move on, he'll be back.
It helps to know the difference between YES and NO when it comes to if someone wants us and wants to official with us. Yes is strictly yes with accompanying actions and expressed feelings. No is everything else, including:
Mixed signals (sometimes yes, sometimes no)
Excuses
Not being ready
No commitment
Cheating
Non-exclusivity
FWB
Silence
Texting without meeting
Emailing without meeting
Calling without meeting
Anything that isn't a strict YES as defined above
Mixed signals (sometimes yes, sometimes no)
Excuses
Not being ready
No commitment
Cheating
Non-exclusivity
FWB
Silence
Texting without meeting
Emailing without meeting
Calling without meeting
Anything that isn't a strict YES as defined above
I'd like to say that he has spoken maybe with a little more urban pat-twa than I would but the result is the same. He's moved on. Or gone back. change places with him and pretend you had an old flame re-ignite. The heart wants what the heart wants.
Alas my sweet one day you will meet someone new and you won't even think of this anymore.
Alas my sweet one day you will meet someone new and you won't even think of this anymore.
So, he's a cheater, and an emotional abuser .... and you would counsel a woman in trying to make him envious, with intentions of trying to stick it to him?
As in ... high school bullshit by immature little girls that have no pride?
da fuk?
As in ... high school bullshit by immature little girls that have no pride?
da fuk?
Here is the post on page 3 in which clarifies that Hairazor is a cunt, who deserved all the suffering she got .....
1. after 2 weeks, he chose her. Keep in mind that she said that she sends him messages telling him that she loves him and misses him.
2. she drops the ILU bomb on him at this time
3. then she tells him she has to back away (keep in mind this is after telling him all along that she wants him)
4. he responds to all of this stating that he isn't ready for all this heavy shit
5. then she says at the end that he may end up regretting this - meaning loosing her
It's obvious, she's a player ..... this man cheated on her and she may damn sure to let him know how much she loves him, just so she can fuck with him.
A grown ass woman with dignity would have stepped away ASAP, and not expend any energy in him, which amounts to nothing except giving him credibility in deserving her energy.
this woman is a cunt, who deserved everything she got from him
Posted by Hairazor
That lasted about 2 weeks. Guess who he came back to? We are still broken up although I have seen him twice since then. He is feeling pressured and/or running scared because I dropped the ILU bomb. He says he is not ready for a committed relationship and needs to see other people right now but he cares about me a lot. I told him that I have to back away as #1 I will not sit on the back burner as I cannot feel secure in that situation. #2 There have been some outside issues with stress involved that have affected our relationship. Right now he feels that I'm not exactly right for him. If this is what he's feeling, then no matter how much it hurts, I have to give him the space to do what he feels he needs to do even if it means loosing him. 😢 He's feeling pressure and I'm hurt, so we have decided to take a break and talk again when the dust settles. His response to all this was...that he didn't blame me...that he wouldn't delete me...ask me not to delete him...and that he may end up regretting this... ::sigh::
1. after 2 weeks, he chose her. Keep in mind that she said that she sends him messages telling him that she loves him and misses him.
2. she drops the ILU bomb on him at this time
3. then she tells him she has to back away (keep in mind this is after telling him all along that she wants him)
4. he responds to all of this stating that he isn't ready for all this heavy shit
5. then she says at the end that he may end up regretting this - meaning loosing her
It's obvious, she's a player ..... this man cheated on her and she may damn sure to let him know how much she loves him, just so she can fuck with him.
A grown ass woman with dignity would have stepped away ASAP, and not expend any energy in him, which amounts to nothing except giving him credibility in deserving her energy.
this woman is a cunt, who deserved everything she got from him
Posted by P-Angel
I especially like this part .......
Posted by Hairazor
That lasted about 2 weeks. Guess who he came back to?
He is feeling pressured and/or running scared because I dropped the ILU bomb.
He wonders back and she tells him she loves him. Which means she still has zero value. It's nothing more than a play on feelings, in which she obviously has no clue about because the only person who will suffer is her.
Posted by Hairazor
Right now he feels that I'm not exactly right for him. If this is what he's feeling, then no matter how much it hurts, I have to give him the space to do what he feels he needs to do even if it means loosing him. 😢 He's feeling pressure and I'm hurt, so we have decided to take a break and talk again when the dust settles. His response to all this was...that he didn't blame me...that he wouldn't delete me...ask me not to delete him...and that he may end up regretting this... ::sigh::
Then she goes on to defend him and even sighs to make the impression that she is sad because he might have regrets in not wanting her.click to expand
I dropped the ILY bomb before all this went on. He did wonder back, but I told him that I wouldn't see him again and I haven't. I was sad and it did hurt, but if he felt I wasn't right for him then there was no reason to see him any longer. It was his choice and if he regrets that choice later then that is on him and not me.
Posted by P-Angel
That was 5 months ago, and I didn't bother to say any more to her because ....
Well, you know, a person can loose wieght, they can put on nice clothes, they can get a better job, they can many things to make themselves better ..
... but, you just can't fix stupid
Stupid for walking away— I think not.
Posted by Virgospirit
It helps to know the difference between YES and NO when it comes to if someone wants us and wants to official with us. Yes is strictly yes with accompanying actions and expressed feelings. No is everything else, including:
Mixed signals (sometimes yes, sometimes no)
Excuses
Not being ready
No commitment
Cheating
Non-exclusivity
FWB
Silence
Texting without meeting
Emailing without meeting
Calling without meeting
Anything that isn't a strict YES as defined above
Exactly. I'm worth more and I'm not playing that.
Posted by P-Angel
Here is the post on page 3 in which clarifies that Hairazor is a cunt, who deserved all the suffering she got .....
Posted by Hairazor
That lasted about 2 weeks. Guess who he came back to? We are still broken up although I have seen him twice since then. He is feeling pressured and/or running scared because I dropped the ILU bomb. He says he is not ready for a committed relationship and needs to see other people right now but he cares about me a lot. I told him that I have to back away as #1 I will not sit on the back burner as I cannot feel secure in that situation. #2 There have been some outside issues with stress involved that have affected our relationship. Right now he feels that I'm not exactly right for him. If this is what he's feeling, then no matter how much it hurts, I have to give him the space to do what he feels he needs to do even if it means loosing him. 😢 He's feeling pressure and I'm hurt, so we have decided to take a break and talk again when the dust settles. His response to all this was...that he didn't blame me...that he wouldn't delete me...ask me not to delete him...and that he may end up regretting this... ::sigh::
1. after 2 weeks, he chose her. Keep in mind that she said that she sends him messages telling him that she loves him and misses him.
2. she drops the ILU bomb on him at this time
3. then she tells him she has to back away (keep in mind this is after telling him all along that she wants him)
4. he responds to all of this stating that he isn't ready for all this heavy shit
5. then she says at the end that he may end up regretting this - meaning loosing her
It's obvious, she's a player ..... this man cheated on her and she may damn sure to let him know how much she loves him, just so she can fuck with him.
A grown ass woman with dignity would have stepped away ASAP, and not expend any energy in him, which amounts to nothing except giving him credibility in deserving her energy.
this woman is a cunt, who deserved everything she got from himclick to expand
Excuse me— A cunt?? HE said he may end up regretting his own decision and he did! Again...I dropped the ILY before all this. I did have to back away because I was hurt and confused by his words and actions. In doing that, I was able to get past the emotional part
Posted by Lenore0908
True that the guy is no great catch. but you teach people how to treat you is all I'm saying. What's missing is that he doesn't respect her. It's best to walk away from the situation right now, so she can get some respect from him. Like Tiki said, you never know what could happen in the future.
No. He didn't respect me and thought I would wait. When I didn't he came back. He had already proven to me and said that I wasn't the one for him. So that is exactly what I did. Walked.
Posted by Lenore0908
True P-Angel, you get what you give. OP did CHOOSE the situation. She chose the guy, so that must be what she feels she deserves. Yep that's that Judge Judy tough love right there. lol
Correction...I did not choose him...I walked because I do deserve better. He may have realized it later, but that is his problem and... it was his choice.
And OMG this was almost 7 months ago!!! I've been done with this for over 6 months and moved on a long time ago!!!! It's history!!
Posted by Lenore0908
Lol i didn't realize this thread was so old! sorry lady, I bet you more than moved on!
Way more!!
"-Sorry for the mia ... ok so here is my drama ..I've gettin some ex girlfriend emails for the past few days and its kinda fn me up!! And our break up was due to circumstance and not hate.... but we both thought it was better to move on ...well I'm a slow mover and turns out she is to... I've been reeeal careful about my relationships until my life belongs to me again! She's had some drastic changes come about that I can relate to and she of course knows my dilemma..but has been cool with that from the get go...so I'm sorta doing donuts here... Sorry i went Mia but I need to sort this out.."
^^that would of been enough for me to say "best of luck to you" and walk. Most virgos are up front. Most virgos when a relationship ends, ENDS. Clearly this one did not end if he still has feelings for her. Move on, spare yourself getting dust in your eyes waiting for him to "sort". Not worth it.
^^that would of been enough for me to say "best of luck to you" and walk. Most virgos are up front. Most virgos when a relationship ends, ENDS. Clearly this one did not end if he still has feelings for her. Move on, spare yourself getting dust in your eyes waiting for him to "sort". Not worth it.
Posted by Hairazor
I dropped the ILY bomb before all this went on. He did wonder back, but I told him that I wouldn't see him again and I haven't. I was sad and it did hurt, but if he felt I wasn't right for him then there was no reason to see him any longer. It was his choice and if he regrets that choice later then that is on him and not me.
You're so full of shit. The post you made on June 21st, on page 2 clearly states that you dropped the ILU bomb at the moment he wondered back to you, then after you told him that he squirmed and said he wasn't ready for a relationship.
Here's your words.
Posted by Hairazor
That lasted about 2 weeks. Guess who he came back to? We are still broken up although I have seen him twice since then. He is feeling pressured and/or running scared because I dropped the ILU bomb. He says he is not ready for a committed relationship and needs to see other people right now but he cares about me a lot.
click to expand
You're a player ... it doesn't matter how long ago it's been .. you fucked with his head because you're an attention whoring cunt and won't admit it. If you wont' admit it, even in hinsight, then you're a fucking cunt ... plain and simple.
The guy threw you away because he's an asshole, and instead of you having some dignity and stepping away like any decent woman would do, instead you waited until he returned so you could fuck with his head before dissing him .... and that makes you a fucking cunt.
You can deny it all you want to, but your denial doesn't matter because you own that title by your actions.
Posted by P-AngelPosted by Hairazor
I dropped the ILY bomb before all this went on. He did wonder back, but I told him that I wouldn't see him again and I haven't. I was sad and it did hurt, but if he felt I wasn't right for him then there was no reason to see him any longer. It was his choice and if he regrets that choice later then that is on him and not me.
You're so full of shit. The post you made on June 21st, on page 2 clearly states that you dropped the ILU bomb at the moment he wondered back to you, then after you told him that he squirmed and said he wasn't ready for a relationship.
Here's your words.
Posted by Hairazor
That lasted about 2 weeks. Guess who he came back to? We are still broken up although I have seen him twice since then. He is feeling pressured and/or running scared because I dropped the ILU bomb. He says he is not ready for a committed relationship and needs to see other people right now but he cares about me a lot.
You're a player ... it doesn't matter how long ago it's been .. you fucked with his head because you're an attention whoring cunt and won't admit it. If you wont' admit it, even in hinsight, then you're a fucking cunt ... plain and simple.
The guy threw you away because he's an asshole, and instead of you having some dignity and stepping away like any decent woman would do, instead you waited until he returned so you could fuck with his head before dissing him .... and that makes you a fucking cunt.
You can deny it all you want to, but your denial doesn't matter because you own that title by your actions.click to expand
No. If you'll read my first post it clearly states that I walked then. The post on June 21st does not state at all WHEN I dropped the ILU bomb. I posted it on here AFTER he wanted to come back and we had a couple of serious discussions the 2 times that I saw him. But since you were there and you know exactly what and when it happened O_o .. then ok. Lol! No. He played me. He sorta forgot to tell me that he was in an on and off 4 year relationship during the time that he dated me. And before you jump on that one let me state that I never posted about it because it was already over and done with. I'm done talking about something that is a
leady done and over with. HE apologized to me for HIS actions during our discussions the 2 times that we saw each other after that. I'm ESPECIALLY done with being called unladylike names by someone who doesn't know jack shit about the events that took place. You started out with one thing and when that didn't pan out now you pick out whatever you can from something that is a closed chapter in order to start shit and get a rise out of me. Well have fun!! Coz I ain't playin!!!
Join the Conversation. Explore Yourself. Connect with Others.
Discover insights, swap stories, and find people. dxpnet is where experiences turn into understanding.
Create Your Free Account →Related Topics
Which one are you? What are the differences you've noticed between the two? Sorry if this thread has been done before. I
Why do Virgos never seem to think about the emotional implications of the things they do. I know they think alot already
Read today in an astrology book that animal signs (the human virgin counts) are more overtly sexual than any other. Your
Most of the virgos I meet are people of color (everyone is a person of color really, but you know what I mean) so of c
I've known this man for most of my life, and we spend 5/7 days together working on our hobbies and projects. This has be
Who is the famous living Virgo that you are most ashamed to share our sign with? For me it would be Assad of Syria!
It has often seemed to me as though there is a lot of overlap between the stereotypes of the Jew and the Virgo. One mig
OK here are some Virgo jokes I have thought of... Q. What do you call a dead Virgo? A. a Virgone! Q. What do you
So....Our date was this past Saturday. It was awesome and of course I have heard little from him since. But....I expecte
Hey all :) This has been on my mind for a good while, thought i'd spill it and get the perspective of some fellow virgos
What are your romantic experiences with Sagi chicks/guys? Anything atal, one night stands, relationships, dates.....
So...........I know this guy, he's a Virgo and many months ago he took my number but I had no real interest as I thought
Guyyys, how do you deal w/ talking about your sexual history? I think I kinda blew it w/ the Virgo when I responded like
Hello everyone,this is my first post,been reading here for a while,finally got the nerves too join. :) I just love re
Are virgos usually very clingy when they like someone? This virgo keeps bringing up how a simple text sends him into an
He opened up a lot to me tonight. Really cute guy, and a lot of other people think so too, but he told me a lot of girls
Hi everyone, I have a question that probably some of you virgos or guys dating one can answer.. or have experienced t
Is it just me, or all Virgo's the same way? In a relationship I will give my everything, and beyond sometimes. I will gi
Shut yo mouth! Marc Anthony (Sept 16th) This vid is pretty old but damn does this man blow me away. This is one ba
-Sorry for the mia ... ok so here is my drama ..I've gettin some ex girlfriend emails for the past few days and its kinda fn me up!! And our break up was due to circumstance and not hate.... but we both thought it was better to move on ...well I'm a slow mover and turns out she is to... I've been reeeal careful about my relationships until my life belongs to me again! She's had some drastic changes come about that I can relate to and she of course knows my dilemma..but has been cool with that from the get go...so I'm sorta doing donuts here... Sorry i went Mia but I need to sort this out.. nothing u did aaaaatttt all!!!!! Ur kewl and hawt!!! But got some feelings I cant throw away I think .... Aaaa DRAMA.....
I don't buy the e-mail part. Much to careful to let emotions go by that alone...
-So I respond with...
Thank you for letting me know. If I said this didn't hurt I would be lying. I care and want the best for you so all I can do at this point is to back out. I can't fight for what belongs to someone else. Do know... that I miss you terribly. I wish I had known. My heart really hurts..... I don't know what else to say... except that I love you. You know where to reach me. I may or may not be around. I am just sad that your feelings are stronger than the connection that we had.
-He responds with...
I didn't know this would happen and never intended to use or hurt you in any way!!!! I was just trying to keep it happy... and enjoy what little life I've got and I'm soooo sorry for bringing drama your way. I tryed real hard to keep it lite but I guess we got hot faster than either of us thought!!!! Im not sure what i want or need at this point... but I'm going stare it down the throat and an figure it out! Dont be sad!!!!