Confused with Virgo man

I'm a Capricorn lady in a complicated situation with Virgo man. He's almost 9 years older than me and lives 3-4 hour drive away from me. We met online originally, but we've seen each other once, thanks to the long distance we don't have many options to see each other regularly. Anyway for the first two months he was completely smitten with me, he kept messaging me every day, then it calmed down and he messaged me every other day, but it was pretty consistent. Now it's almost 5 months since we last saw each other. Usually he texts few times a week nowadays... Today it's been one week since he didn't text me. The last text I sent him doesn't need response so I could possibly reach out, but I've learned with men that it's better to wait for them to initiate. The longest he took to reply to me was 13 days I think and by then I just thought it's finished. The weird thing with him is that he keeps stalking me even if he does not talk to me at the moment. He likes almost all of my posts, he stalks my instagram stories, follows me on spotify, he mirrors me (well I mirror him too sometimes). We have a lot in common and he tells me about stuff that I don't think he tells anybody else. Sometimes he texts me pretty weird stuff too... Like him going back to his home country one weekend and texting me in the middle of night, "it's weird falling asleep in bed I grew up in". Also we've been sexually involved so it's not just platonic and he keeps reminding me how much he's attracted to me. My sun, mercury, venus and mars are conjunct his moon. His moon is in capricorn. Also his venus is conjunct my ascendant in cancer. I feel like he cares about me big deal, but I don't think he likes our situation and neither do I. We just don't talk about it. He encourages me a lot in stuff I'd never do if it wasn't for him and I appreciate his work a lot. He's more than just a guy I like... Is it normal for a virgo guy to dissappear from time to time? I know he needs some space and I don't have a problem giving it I'm just really confused with his behavior sometimes.

Posted by UnicornSag
could it be that he just want's to get away from that situation cause he sees no future for the 2 of you? So you met once and never again? Why didn't you try to meet up again? It seems like he's just putting distance between the 2 of you slowly to let it fade away. If situations are hopeless Virgos won't really attempt to stay stuck in them for long I guessso maybe that could be what he's doing

It's possible I mean I thought about it myself few times I'm not gonna lie... But I just feel like it's such a waste to just let go of someone who you feel real connection with I guess. I actually visited his city once after we met, but I was with my family and he was moving apartments that weekend which I knew about ever since I've seen him so we didn't have time. Since then he asked me once if I wanted to arrange something, but nothing came out of it. Next time he kind of suggested meeting again, but nothing ever comes out of it,mainly because he doesn't follow it through. I don't want to chase him or push him and I think he should be the one sugestting that and acting on it since he's the male (capricorn stubborness ehm) but I might be wrong. Maybe he wants me to ask I don't know.

Virgo wants practicality always. If it seems impossible they won't hold their hopes high. Someone has to be really convincing and step up to do a lot to keep them in such relationship. I don't feel like they're people who deal with LDR. Actually I know they aren't. My Virgo friend left her bf because he had to go for some time to another country, he just didn't want to deal with it and refuses to go with him as well for longer time



Yeah I see your point, me being Capricorn I want practicality too, but I do have feelings and it gets all mixed up and thinking of never speaking to him again hurts and I end up confused myself haha. I don't know what goes on in his mind, when we met in person he was very gentle with me, very affectionate and loving. I don't know if that's normal for virgos, he looked very sad when I was leaving. I even asked him if he's okay and he just chuckled and said yeah. I wish we weren't in LDR situation so much it just sucks to be honest. I just wish he'd be honest with me, if he wants to leave I'd rather have him say it than leaving me wonder one day what the heck happened. It just seems strange to me for him suddenly losing all interest or attraction towards me that just doesn't make sense so I guess it really is the long distance bullshit I always thought it was.

Posted by VirgalLuvsCoffee
I’m a Virgal and i’d have to say he’s probably waiting on you to initiate or give him the okay to proceed and that you care for him. One thing for sure with Virgos (male/female) we are extremely insecure with people we care about. The crazy thing is the MORE we care the more we push away or distance ourselves 😕. We overly think tooooo much into everything. We stress ourselves out into situations in ours heads and then end up doing thing like pushing away, ignoring or saying things we don’t mean because of insecurities. If he was touchy feely in the beginning & started to distance himself it is because he probably sensed it wasn’t reciprocated. We Virgos are complicated but the best match for a Virgo is another fellow earth sign as yourself. Look for him , tell him you’re thinking of him, tell him you thought of him, tell him you would like to see him sometime. Virgos needs reassurance. Virgos want to know that you care & they will give you the world 🌎.... I promise you won’t regret it. We love hard & good. Please whatever you do, don’t play with him. Be loyal, be kind, respect him, tell him you care, send him a text every other day about something you think he may like.

It's very interesting to see it from virgos point of view! I never thought about it that way, I just thought hmm maybe he needs space because he's dealing with something or maybe he's losing interest in me... Those are the first thoughts that popped in my mind. Me being capricorn I'm pretty insecure with people I care about too and I'm always scared that if I open up I'll end up getting hurt and if it's by the person I care about it's even worse. 😄 I have my sun, mercury, venus and mars in 6th house as well so I guess that gives me virgo energy somehow as well. I'm afraid of reaching out to him first since I don't wanna make a fool out of myself or look desperate in case he's really not interested. But I'm gonna do it, I know that there is actually little chance he'd ignore me and if he does at least I'll know where I stand. Thanks a lot!

Okayy he replied almost right away I guess that's a good thing we'll see how it goes from here 😄

Oh no he told me his grandmother died so he'll be going home for few days for a funeral. 😢 I feel so bad for him, I wish I could just hug him. I'm glad I reached out to him and I'm glad he trusts me enough to tell me those personal things.

Posted by VirgalLuvsCoffee
If he replied right away that is a good sign. I’m sorry to hear he lost his grandmother. Just let him know you’re there for him if he needs anything & leave it @ that. The text you sent will be playing in his head probably all day. It’s funny because the person I’m interested is a Capricorn & they found out I lost my father & texted me. That text made me so happy that I cried lol. I would never ever cry in front of them but it touched me because it showed they cared especially in a difficult time. They told me to count on them for anything. Those words meant everything because I truly care for them. Although, Virgo will never show it or even say they love to know someone cares & thought about them. I don’t know why we Virgos are such hardarses. We are so complicated it’s frustrating. We know we can be complicated but that is who we are. Virgos like to be courted even the guys. Lol so weird but true. I hope it works out for you. I always hear Virgos & Caps are a powerful down to earth match. Good luck & let us know how it works out.

Oh I'm sorry for your loss! Yeah I asked him if there is anything that I could do for him and he seemed very grateful. He even remembered I asked him some time ago if he's free to meet this weekend and he says that he'd actually like to see me this weekend that even his flatmate will be away , but he'll be at his home country till sunday so that's not possible. 😢 Then he mentioned he doesn't know when he'll be free again because he's going to Brasil to visit some friends for 1 month and that just left me baffled. I mean it's so hard to actually meet with him again and this just left me feeling like a complete idiot... So I just said "Well I give up then" and he said "Haha give up? What do you mean?" And then he repeated he'd like to see me this Saturday, that it would have been a lot of fun. So I just replied that I'm just sad it never works out and that he can bet it'd be fun 😄 No reply since then. I don't know if he actually really wants to see me or he just says that, but I feel bit sad yeah.

Posted by VirgalLuvsCoffee
Don’t feel sad. Say you have it in your calendar & cant wait to see him. Again, Virgo dudes are so effing difficult to pin down. The night before or the day of say “I’m looking forward to seeing you.” If he doesn’t make it this Saturday then let him be with his thoughts & reach out to him further out (days later or weeks).

It's not gonna work out this Saturday because he'll be in his home country for the funeral. 🙂 Then he'll be in Brasil for 1 month so god knows when, but he said to send him photos so he knows what he's missing out on. 😄 That kinda made me laugh, he gets so excited easily it's kinda funny, but I like it. I have next weekend free should I try to ask him if he's free too? I might start by asking when he's leaving to Brasil... I just wanna see him, I know our situation isn't easy and it doesn't have much of chance of working out, but I just like him so much. I wish I knew how he feels though. 😄

Posted by VirgalLuvsCoffee
Oh okay. Good luck with Mr. Virgo. Virgos tend to withhold feeling because of not wanting to seem vulnerable or needy. It’s like peeling an onion. The more you peel off a layer there’s a crapload more to peel & in the process you will shed some tears trying to figure Virgo out. Sucks I know but the final outcome is well worth it. I’m rooting for you guys 👏🏽🙌🏽

He drives me bit nuts honestly and I have a lot of patience, but it's wearing thin slowly... My friend told me that she thinks he likes me and that we get along, but that he might not be taking me very seriously and that I should try casually ask him (without any pressure) how he views our whole situation, because I think about him and would want to see him again and it doesn't seem to me he wants the same thing. I'm a bit afraid of his answer, but she said I shouldn't be because it doesn't matter and at least I'll say what I wanted to and if his answer will be bad at least I know it wasn't worth it. (She's a capricorn as well 😄) Do you think it's a good idea?

At this point, it is best to let him come to you. You already asked him for a date and he gave you an ambiguous answer. This man does not need anymore reassurance. He KNOWS you are available and he realizes you like him.

I’m dating a Virgo guy at the moment and they are chasers when they really want you. Sure they make take 2-3 days to initiate contact, but they do. He requests dates on a weekly basis and I often have to decline because he waits until day of to ask me and I’m usually busy with something else.

They are fun guys and because your a cap, the interaction is effortless. Try not to get wrapped up into a man who is not making himself available to you. Your young. It just leads to heartache and disappointment

Posted by CreativeCap
At this point, it is best to let him come to you. You already asked him for a date and he gave you an ambiguous answer. This man does not need anymore reassurance. He KNOWS you are available and he realizes you like him.

I’m dating a Virgo guy at the moment and they are chasers when they really want you. Sure they make take 2-3 days to initiate contact, but they do. He requests dates on a weekly basis and I often have to decline because he waits until day of to ask me and I’m usually busy with something else.

They are fun guys and because your a cap, the interaction is effortless. Try not to get wrapped up into a man who is not making himself available to you. Your young. It just leads to heartache and disappointment

Yes I think he must come to me himself now... Oh I actually think he'd spend a lot of time with me if we lived in the same city. When we first met he was very intense. Since I can't meet with him any time I'm free it's more difficult than just setting up date. He works from monday to friday and I go to university few times a week and mostly work at weeekends and he knows that so unless I state I have free weekend he doesn't know I'm free to visit him. We have to plan quite a lot ahead and when you look at it from practical point of view it's not sustainable to visit each other every week with busy lives like ours. So that's why sometimes when I think about our situation I get confused and although I like him a lot I just don't know how to deal with it... I don't wanna lose him at the same time. So I'd like to know at least how he feels about the whole situation since he could have been long gone from my life now. He didn't have to stick around after we met. But he did so I guess that means something... Sorry for long message.

Posted by Baru

Posted by CreativeCap
At this point, it is best to let him come to you. You already asked him for a date and he gave you an ambiguous answer. This man does not need anymore reassurance. He KNOWS you are available and he realizes you like him.

I’m dating a Virgo guy at the moment and they are chasers when they really want you. Sure they make take 2-3 days to initiate contact, but they do. He requests dates on a weekly basis and I often have to decline because he waits until day of to ask me and I’m usually busy with something else.

They are fun guys and because your a cap, the interaction is effortless. Try not to get wrapped up into a man who is not making himself available to you. Your young. It just leads to heartache and disappointment

Yes I think he must come to me himself now... Oh I actually think he'd spend a lot of time with me if we lived in the same city. When we first met he was very intense. Since I can't meet with him any time I'm free it's more difficult than just setting up date. He works from monday to friday and I go to university few times a week and mostly work at weeekends and he knows that so unless I state I have free weekend he doesn't know I'm free to visit him. We have to plan quite a lot ahead and when you look at it from practical point of view it's not sustainable to visit each other every week with busy lives like ours. So that's why sometimes when I think about our situation I get confused and although I like him a lot I just don't know how to deal with it... I don't wanna lose him at the same time. So I'd like to know at least how he feels about the whole situation since he could have been long gone from my life now. He didn't have to stick around after we met. But he did so I guess that means something... Sorry for long message.

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It really is too soon to ask him how he feels about the two of you because you all haven’t invested much time together. Even if he does have some feelings for you, it maybe difficult to express or put into perspective during this early stage. I know this maybe difficult for a young cap to do, but try to be light hearted and go with the flow when/ if he does approach you. Play it cool. Let his actions tell you how he feels and don’t analyze it too much. Take it exactly for what it is.

Posted by VirgalLuvsCoffee
@Baru he definitely knows you’re interested. Again, with all the things happening in his life, god only knows when things will happen. I know for a cap it is hard to let someone know how they feel. In this case, I think he likes you but he probably doesn’t know what to do or say. You should tell him how you feel but don’t sound desperate or anything like that 😂. Play it cool. He may not be able to tell you on the spot how he’s feeling because he has to probably think about that first. I would get it off my chest if I were you & it see where it goes. Good luck 🍀 & share the outcomes 😬

@VirgalLuvsCoffee Guh I wrote a reply and it didn't load properly for some reason 😄 I'm gonna let him come to me this time when he wants to talk to me since I initiated last time and see what he has to say. At least I'll have time to decide what I really wanna say, I'm confused about the situation myself and don't quite know how to deal with it so I wouldn't be surprised if he didn't know either. No matter how much I think about it there is not much of space for real commited relationship to be honest. Not unless we somehow end up in the same place at the same time. I'm not saying it's never gonna happen, but definitely not right now. Who knows 😄 It's a fucked up situation I got myself into. I don't know why I can't ever choose something simple. 😄 Thank you so much, I really appreciate your insight you're very sweet!

It really is too soon to ask him how he feels about the two of you because you all haven’t invested much time together. Even if he does have some feelings for you, it maybe difficult to express or put into perspective during this early stage. I know this maybe difficult for a young cap to do, but try to be light hearted and go with the flow when/ if he does approach you. Play it cool. Let his actions tell you how he feels and don’t analyze it too much. Take it exactly for what it is.





Thank you that's an excellent advice! 🙂

This actually sounds perfectly healthy. Even the anxiety is normal. You both are falling for each other just slowly and from a distance. No shame in that. Just keep encouraging communication without being forceful. He will appreciate any effort you put towards him and they generally like to hear encouraging words too. Grief can be hard for anyone so if he was close to his grandmother, try to keep more contact for a bit. He'll take it harder from a family member he knew well and felt deeply for. What's his moon and Venus?

Posted by AbbyNormal
This actually sounds perfectly healthy. Even the anxiety is normal. You both are falling for each other just slowly and from a distance. No shame in that. Just keep encouraging communication without being forceful. He will appreciate any effort you put towards him and they generally like to hear encouraging words too. Grief can be hard for anyone so if he was close to his grandmother, try to keep more contact for a bit. He'll take it harder from a family member he knew well and felt deeply for. What's his moon and Venus?

Ahaha I'm glad you think so! 🙂 I'm so confused about it those days and I guess I just need to talk about it with someone else other than my friends (I bet they're sick of it by now). Yep I try to encourage him in his photography work as much as I can. Actually we incidently have same hobby and that is analog photography. He's very good at it and we have this online zine magazine that we both like (I discovered it thanks to him). And they asked him to put up some of his work, I'm sure I'm the only one who knew about it before it got released and I encouraged him all along the way and he even shared with me his after thoughts which was very nice. He takes his work very seriously and seems bit embarassed when I point something good about it, it's cute. He also inspires me to be better myself, I've broaden up a lot and started to shoot more since I met him and when I ask him for opinion he always helps me. So that makes me feel very happy honestly. His moon is actually in Capricorn so his moon is conjunct my sun and since I have also mercury, venus and mars in capricorn all in 6th house it's basically my stellium conjunct his moon. His venus is in cancer that is biquintile to my venus and mars which is nice I think. My moon is in scorpio trine his venus 🙂 Also my ascendant is in cancer and is conjunct his venus and his venus is in my 1st house and he is absolutely obsessed with my body to a point that makes me wonder if he ever likes me for my personality too 😄 But he assured me he knows there's more to me than my body. 🙂 Sorry I got excited 😄

Posted by Baru

Posted by AbbyNormal
This actually sounds perfectly healthy. Even the anxiety is normal. You both are falling for each other just slowly and from a distance. No shame in that. Just keep encouraging communication without being forceful. He will appreciate any effort you put towards him and they generally like to hear encouraging words too. Grief can be hard for anyone so if he was close to his grandmother, try to keep more contact for a bit. He'll take it harder from a family member he knew well and felt deeply for. What's his moon and Venus?

Ahaha I'm glad you think so! 🙂 I'm so confused about it those days and I guess I just need to talk about it with someone else other than my friends (I bet they're sick of it by now). Yep I try to encourage him in his photography work as much as I can. Actually we incidently have same hobby and that is analog photography. He's very good at it and we have this online zine magazine that we both like (I discovered it thanks to him). And they asked him to put up some of his work, I'm sure I'm the only one who knew about it before it got released and I encouraged him all along the way and he even shared with me his after thoughts which was very nice. He takes his work very seriously and seems bit embarassed when I point something good about it, it's cute. He also inspires me to be better myself, I've broaden up a lot and started to shoot more since I met him and when I ask him for opinion he always helps me. So that makes me feel very happy honestly. His moon is actually in Capricorn so his moon is conjunct my sun and since I have also mercury, venus and mars in capricorn all in 6th house it's basically my stellium conjunct his moon. His venus is in cancer that is biquintile to my venus and mars which is nice I think. My moon is in scorpio trine his venus 🙂 Also my ascendant is in cancer and is conjunct his venus and his venus is in my 1st house and he is absolutely obsessed with my body to a point that makes me wonder if he ever likes me for my personality too 😄 But he assured me he knows there's more to me than my body. 🙂 Sorry I got excited 😄

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That sounds very nice. It's nice you both have a common passion to share. I'm sure he uses that as a way to feel connected to you. It really does sound good and normal. You both sound happy and you sound like you are both moving at the same rate in the relationship which is great. So much comes down to timing...

And your placements sound harmonious. So just trust your gut and talk to people you aspire to be like about him, maybe someone who has had a similar relationship...

So update on my situation! Yesterday in the evening he texted me asking how the rest of my week was, we chatted for a while, but nothing special. I asked him how he was doing (with the funeral and everything going on) and he said he's okay just at home. I think he fell asleep while texting me (we texted till late night) because he only viewed it this morning and didn't reply ever since. The last thing I texted him didn't really need reply though. I still feel like I'm getting mixed signs, I don't know maybe I overthink things that mean nothing too much. 😄 Anyway gonna wait few days if he texts me again. Some of my friends told me that I should just be direct with him and tell him that I'd like to see him when he gets back from Brasil.