Feeling betrayed by a Virgo

Back again. I have never had such a difficult time understanding someone. This forum and you virgos are helpful. So here we go again..

Shaky beginning with virgo bf. We both started out with lingering feelings for our exes. Fast forward several months after sorting all our ex bs out (on both our parts - after many conversations...I thought). We were in a really good place. We were talking about moving in together in his town (an hour away). He brought up building a house. We were talking future (usually initiated by him). We felt pretty solid. And then one day he was being kind of weird texting. I knew his ex had been texting. Disclaimer: I do NOT think it's okay to go through someone's phone. I'd had opportunities before and never did.

I looked through some recent texts. His ex knew that he was dating me but said that he was the love of her life and that she'd wait forever. He texted her that he couldn't be with her right now - that he was with someone else. But then he also texted her that it should have been her with him at a music festival we were at together. And that he still loved her and could easily see himself back where they were months ago. I didn't react very well. I called him a spineless liar. Again, not ok -I know.

The following day and days after I tried to apologize for my part, attempted to talk and hear his explanation but he was upset. A week later he said that every time he thought about me, all he could focus on was that I think he's weak and shady and that he couldn't be with me. I was angry and hurt. And then finally started feeling better a few weeks later. I don't like having anger or feeling hatred so I left the door open for his explanation. We got together last week and talked. And then the following day we spent hours talking again. And then came texts asking if there were still feelings, if I thought I could still see a future with him. We got together again and I heard him out. He apologized, said it was wrong of him, that she'd really messed with his head but that he'd told her he couldn't communicate with her anymore when we broke up and said he'd never do anything like that again...

I have never been betrayed like this. I said I was willing to give him another chance but it's difficult. His ex works next door to him and I live an hour away. Now I know that's something I need to accept if I'm going to try to work it out but it's tough. Am I "that" girl?

Thoughts? Feedbac

In case you haven't read my previous stress posts I am a taurus btw. Giving this another shot is a big deal - not easy for me at all. I don't want to end up a total sucker. I can already see the disapproving looks on my friends' faces. Think I'm being naive in wanting to believe him?

Last one was supposed to end with thoughts? feedback? advice?

sounds like an emotional cheater. One who just needs to have an option out there at all times. Tells you what you want to hear? Trust will be hard to get back and if he has nothing to hide he will hide nothing from here on out.

It's not a question of whether you want to (or even "ought to") believe him, it's a question of whether your gut feeling actually does. You're the one who has to live with any doubts that you have, after all. If you try to pretend otherwise, you'll eventually end up feeling even more angry and frustrated about the situation, regardless of whether he actually comes through or not. Whatever you decide to do, make sure that *you* feel happy about it. You don't owe anyone anything.

I'm not sure why I'm trying to advise a Taurean, though. I presume that you already had your mind set on a course of action, regardless? ^_^

Honestly, this situation will always be a wedge in your relationship. Virgos who are not completely over their exes will have a very difficult time giving himself fully to someone new. Just imagine this, Virgos who have been hurt by an ex years ago will still face trials dating someone new. Now, compare that to Virgos who still "feel" it, it's almost an impossible situation for you- unfortunately.

I've witnessed time and time again with Virgos returning to their previous love because for whatever reason, maybe they haven't had the closure or they were not satisfied with the break up, they will go back to fix it.

That's not to say that you've lost all hopes though. If your relationship has been fantastic, if not better than his last, he will definitely weigh it out in his head and make the right choice. If he chooses you, it's because he knows you are the better one and you should be all the more grateful for it! Just know that whatever happens, at least you and he have a very valid reason to break up. You wouldn't want to be with someone who's heart belongs to someone else anyways.

Good luck.

I have recently felt stung by a virgo too but im actually feeling ok because I am able to make sense of it so I am able to let go, forgive, not feel too affected and move on, i have tak en a real deep look into my situation and have an understanding of the reasons why its all happened the way it has so i feel at peace, i do love him But his own issues, hang ups and demons create a behaviour and damage control that wont allow him to appreciate what i have to give, it doesnt matter, I dont feel bad within myself because my love is not about an attachment to someone, i wanted him, I dont need him, probably sounds weird but you kinda remain free.

Here is my point: Love is not a feeling it is a combination of two or more emotions that you feel towards someone, our past present and future experiences affect our emotions and behaviour within the relationship, think of the love you have towards a child, its unconditional its the purest love you will ever recieve, this is because you are giving into it unconditionally so the love from the child is pure, ya get me? when we feel insecure about something we then start a behaviour which can become unhealthy, ie: anger towards the person, insecurities where our own need is greater than what we give ect. ect. because we do not feel what we are giving is reciprocated, we then start pursueing because we feel an injustice, trying to entrap that person to feed our needs, they feel critized they are going to run/ pull back. Give a love that enables freedom and if the guy is psychologically developed enough he will appreciate that love, also its human nature in relationships theres the pursuer and the one who pulls back, its part of the dance, there will always be this, the purue intensifies the more the other pulls away. Im not sure if Im making much sense to you, I get me! 🙂

Check the link out theres loads in here that could help you have an understanding if you get behaviours ect could help in your situation and also help you feel differently about yourself to enable the right behaviours from you to enable growth and and understanding of how to manage the situation healthy. See its as much about you also which will determine things, what challenges him to grow and where he feels safe is what will draw him, Soz about the waffle 🙂

http://www.peterfox.com.au/family_fusers_isolators.htm theres loads of different things in this website that can help.

I think what im trying to get across is enable freedom, back off to enable your love to be missed and appreciated, if its appreciated, a healthy love and gives a safe feeling then it will be pursued 🙂 thats an attractive love, your behaviour will be what makes the difference.

Posted by Let*It*Be
"I looked through some recent texts. His ex knew that he was dating me but said that he was the love of her life and that she'd wait forever. He texted her that he couldn't be with her right now - that he was with someone else. But then he also texted her that it should have been her with him at a music festival we were at together. And that he still loved her and could easily see himself back where they were months ago. I didn't react very well. I called him a spineless liar. Again, not ok -I know."


^^^That imo is a big fat red flag that he is NOT over his ex. You don't one day say that, and then the next say you don't mean it. I'd do a split (for your own peace of mind) temporarilly and let him figure out where his head/heart really are. I mean what's worse, driving yourself insane wondering if he IS over her and getting hurt...or making a small sacrifice and letting him figure that out on his own without you standing there? I'd go for the sacrifice. He sounds very confused. It's your call...but I can't help but warn you. Good luck.

Agree 🙂

Posted by Nebulous_Cloud9
I've witnessed time and time again with Virgos returning to their previous love because for whatever reason, maybe they haven't had the closure or they were not satisfied with the break up, they will go back to fix it.

[...] You wouldn't want to be with someone who's heart belongs to someone else anyways.

+1

my boyfriend is a virgo and we had a similar situation. his ex girlfriend moved away and they tried to work things out long distance but she "couldn't trust him" that far apart so she broke up with him. she moved on, he "moved on," but he was hurt. I think it was his first "love" feeling. months go by, and she comes back saying she still loves him, only real love, blah blah, but meanwhile he met me. immediately asked me out (like within a week or something CRAZY) I don't why I said yes, but I was "moving on" too-- I had just ended an abusive relationship of my own. but there was an honesty in his heart that made me just want to run away with him to somewhere beautiful... I was confused because I felt that I had entered something that hadn't quite ended yet on his part, but I think he wanted to move on from her. trust me, I got defensive, we would quarrel about it... but that was my insecurity. she would text him constantly, called him... "why would you get a gf when you could be f*cking me?"

she visits regularly every few months or so for family, so of course she wanted to see him. they hadn't seen each other since she left. I was mildly suspicious, because I didn't know their history (like 6 months together) and I wasn't confident in my understanding of the feelings he still had for her... but in a very awkward position for me he introduced me to her during her stay-- we met at the beach along with her friends. he was very quiet, and as it grew cold he insisted on giving me his jacket. we kept close, shy, affectionate; as we left (early) they shared a light hug and she said I looked like her sister, and that was it. I thought it strange, because "friendly exes" is not my thing. they shared a few words when she contacted him (again) a few months later asking I don't know, but it was just before we were moving in together and he told her that. she's been quiet ever since.

overall, I think he just needed closure with her. it's been over a year now that we've been together.

not looked like her sister like I look like her but dressed like her. something about the leopard dress I was wearing, I don't know I just wanted to get out of there lol.

Doubletrouble,

That's wonderful! So nice to hear about happy endings among these sad posts.

Virgos really do suffer a great deal in matters of the heart. They struggle to alleviate the pains they feel even long after a break-up, especially if it's a negative one or one that they feel shouldn't have ended. Because of this, they will pine away, pick at every "ifs", "buts", and "whys" until they grow cold, suspicious, and distrustful... Unfortunately, the next person and probably many persons after that will have a very difficult time knocking down the wall. I entirely sympathize for why their guards and walls are always up because when they give their hearts away, they don't easily get it back. However, the one who is able to capture him will truly get to witness the insurmountable amount of love they are very capable of giving. They won't ever be perfect, but because they love you, they will try to be.

My Virgo is a wounded one. When I met my Virgo I had to deal with repercussions from a negative relationship he experienced back in high school in which his gf cheated on him! The pain and betrayal he felt lasted almost 10 years. Can you believe that? It was really quite unbelievable and it was (and sometimes still is) a very trying relationship. I won't get into details, but the first 14 months of our relationship was HELL. haha But, the pearl is in the clam if you have the patience and are not afraid of a few cuts and bruises.

I am a Virgo and I agree with Nebulous. There are a couple things I'd like to add, Virgos are known for being a good friend and a lot of people confide in them, I have a lot of people who call/text just for advice/opinions. I can tell you this though, there is really no way that you can tell unless you wait it out because I have ex's that I will blow smoke up their asses and tell them oh yeah we are going to get married one day and not mean a damn word... but I also have a ex currently that if i dated anyone else i know that i would more than likely hurt them because I am still not over him and continue to talk to him. Unlike most though, I won't let myself get into something else because I dont want to hurt anyone I've got enough Karma from hurting people. I can also tell you that once we feel like we are being questioned we can pretty much get downright evil and it will push us away. Whenever my ex's asked me questions as if i was cheating I completed blocked them out and had a horrible attitude. Really its like Russian Roulette, you can stay and see if it works out or you can let it go.
I dont think this helped one bit, but hey I tried.

Love your avatar OP my cat does the same. 😛

Ok so I'm really appreciating all of the helpful insight. I'm reading, discussing my skepticism with him, really trying to decide what's best and I am slowly processing, processing.

Let*It*Be - I didn't see or talk to him for 3 weeks. I know how ridiculously short that seems but considering we interact several times a day it felt like a break. Enough of a break that he swears he knows what he wants, that letting her even momentarily mess with his head was wrong, that he will never do anything like that again and maintains that he was never wanting to go back to her (as he'd explained to her in his texts) - and that the day after I blew up at him he broke all communication with her and hasn't had any since. I know she begged him for another chance. He said no - and swears that he really is over her. You seem to be a virgo pro - think the red flags could possibly be yellow? And I promised to never check his phone again.

Capbaby - Emotional cheating...that's exactly how I put it. So far he seems to be forthcoming and honest (even about stuff he knows will annoy me further). Hmm :-/

Lochinvar - My gut feeling is to trust him. But that was my gut feeling before and I still feel like he betrayed me.
"I'm not sure why I'm trying to advise a Taurean, though. I presume that you already had your mind set on a course of action, regardless?" Haha you seem to have experience with taureans. I really am paying attention here though 😉

Ixion120 - I told him that I would A. never be anyone's backup or rebound and B. not stand in the way if he was in love with someone else. And then I explicitly offered him a chance for a clean break. I want to trust the fact that he didn't take it.

Nebulous_Cloud9 - I definitely wouldn't want to be with someone who's heart is elsewhere. So you think that given that he chose our relationship and not to get back together with her could be a good sign...but maybe not? I know he loved her and that he initially wasn't over her but he says that he's come to realize that she's immature and blew it - and that he was truly happy with and wants a future with me.

guccigemini55 - very interesting/informative link. I read a few of the topics and will definitely read more. I definitely need to work on the attachment thing a bit. I definitely notice differences in me when I'm in a relationship and prefer the independence and confidence I feel when I'm not in one. Thanks for the food for thought.

doubletrouble - interesting to see all the ex issues virgos seem to have. Comforting in a way and worrisome in a way. I'm glad to hear that your situation had a happy ending :-)

GodMadeBeauty - nah, it did help. When I confronted this guy about the texts, he totally withdrew. He lashed out and pushed me away instead of communicating. I'm an over-communicator so that's very strange and challenging for me.

ArticleL - cats are odd creatures. Mine will try to scoop himself water from the bath (even though he has a full bowl of water in the kitchen). A couple of times he's fallen in, totally freaked out...but then continues to return. Ha! Hmm...behavior perhaps not so different from humans in some ways.

So while I'm not ready to completely write him off, I'm also not going jump back in blindly with both feet. I already told him that it's going to take awhile for the trust to return completely and that I'm going to need some extra reassurance for awhile. I'm also not moving (we were planning) for at least a year. I'm feeling a tendency to hesitate after reading all of your responses - which is probably the best thing to do. I see him (and myself too sometimes) talking and planning the way we were a month ago and I think that's not necessarily the best idea now. Even though part of me wants to be there, wants to settle down, wants to eat everything he says up, I think I need to back up a bit, slow down a bit, wait to see if I can really do this again. Thanks for all the help, people!

Posted by queenofdawn
Haha you seem to have experience with taureans. I really am paying attention here though 😉

Oh, I never doubted that you were paying attention to the posts. You lot often listen very sincerely and patiently... before going off and doing something completely different. My frustration has long been replaced by wry amusement, though. :3

You seem to be handling the situation maturely, so I'm sure things will work out well regardless of the outcome. Best of luck!

You are not the first person who has made a similar comment about this trait - I suppose there must be something to it *~*

And thanks. I hope this turns out well. Either I'm wrong, will regret trusting my gut and end up even more jaded or I'll be glad I took a chance and trusted my intuition. Hoping for the latter of course.

I didn't know if I'd be able to trust him again and I told him that if I were to, it would probably take a long time. Already things seem very different than they ever did though. He's sweeter, more forthcoming, more attentive and seems to be making much more of an effort. He invited me to his grandfather's b-day party/his nephew's baptism reception yesterday, where I met almost his entire family. I know it was a big deal to him. I'm really trying hard to keep both feet planted solidly on the ground and be cautious here but it's proving to be challenging. He's doing everything right all of a sudden - saying what I need to hear, being very communicative, and being just absolutely awesome overall.

Posted by queenofdawn

But then he also texted her that it should have been her with him at a music festival we were at together. And that he still loved her and could easily see himself back where they were months ago.

First of all .... you invaded his privacy, and saying it was wrong, while doing it anyway only proves your full of bullshit. A person who knows right from wrong, doesn't then act on the wrong as if it's honest.

Second, once you found out the above ... everything else you have to say to defend your feelings of wanting him equates to blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah

First of all .... you invaded his privacy, and saying it was wrong, while doing it anyway only proves your full of bullshit. A person who knows right from wrong, doesn't then act on the wrong as if it's honest.

Second, once you found out the above ... everything else you have to say to defend your feelings of wanting him equates to blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah




I beg to differ, Her actions do not signify she is full of shit, she has acted on her emotions during a time she is feeling crisis, this does not make her dishonest, she has acted on her instincts where her emotions have warned her of danger, the fact the guy was being dishonest to her was creating a place where she didnt feel secure, lying to others is abuse, its taking away someones freedom to make the correct choices, it traps them in a place where they are unable to grow in whichever direction. Im sorry but she recognises snooping into someones privacy is not an attractive trait, she has held herself accountable for her actions and been honest about her actions, where should the judgement really lay? even though her findings were confirmation of her feelings do you not think she is paying the consequences of looking? and i am sure will do for a long time, this will be her learning which may enable her to deal with things like this differently in a way that is less painful, it wasnt her being the dishonest one, Look at the bigger picture here because the bigger picture does not tell any of us that she is full of shit.

You know I have to be honest with you, and a lot of times when people are honest they don't give you a warning so it seems as if they are coming off as if they are a B... or rude... or whatever..

You have given him way to much of you, you need to lean back and date around. Circular date, this doesn't mean sleep with a bunch of guys this means have fun meet other people and allow yourself to see what you are missing out on by pondering what could be with this man who has already severely hurt you. This man didn't take into consideration your feelings when he texts his ex these things and the fact that you continued to talk to him afterwards told him basically that he can keep on doing whatever he wants and you will forgive him. I am going to tell you what someone told me (who was a HORRIBLE DOG of a man, so he was overly HONEST) ... A PERSON is only going to do what you allow them too. The fact that you even have a thought of going through his phone means you don't trust him and I don't blame you, he could have done something that would make you not trust him, You shouldn't have to feel like this, a relationship is not suppose to be full of hurt and pain yes things aren't going to be perfect but you deserve to be happy once you realize this you won't even think twice about leaving him alone. The chase sometimes gets us, it makes us want the person more... but the reality is, you and everyone a like deserves to be with someone who makes them happy and not confused, hurt, and sad. I realized this myself, and once I did it changed me. People don't change and if they do its not by much, so if you can't accept how he is, clearly unavailable emotionally then you might as well let him go, dont sacrifice your happiness it will only hurt you and your health in the long run. The other thing is this, we like to make excuses for someone we want to be with, you know deep inside if this man is good for you or not, but we will sit there and tell people all the bad things but when it is going good talk about all the good things trying to make excuses for what they have done.

Inviting you to things is just a way to keep you, make you feel as if you are wanted. So you dont leave, toxic men/women like to keep people around just to have them around. I know this is long and drawn out I just don't want you to waste your time when there are much better men who aren't going to hurt you out there... We get signs to get away and stay and we ignore them, dont ignore these signs that are displayed so clearly for you. If you do decide to continue with him, thats your choice but my suggestion is to step back and meet other people so you can see that you deserve more than that.

P-Angel: Ahh, I wondered when you'd grace one of my posts with your controversial presence. Harsh-seeming but valid, though I don't quite understand the following statement: "A person who knows right from wrong, doesn't then act on the wrong as if it's honest."

Do you mean ending things based on the texts I read? Like I shouldn't have ended things based on what I found snooping? If that's the case, fine. I disagree but cool.

Or do you think I was justifying going through his phone because I found shady texts? If that's the case, you are mistaken. I made no justifications. Regardless of what I found, it was wrong of me. I didn't claim otherwise - in fact the opposite.

No bullbutter.

GodMadeBeauty: You're not coming off as a B or rude at all - I appreciate straightforward honesty.

I really hate dating. I'm independent and pretty good at being single and doing my own thing. I'm usually a darn good girlfriend (unless I'm not getting what I need). I dated lightly for 2 years before this virgo though and have no desire to so again. I hate it and I suck at it.

I totally agree that a person will only do what we allow them to. I don't actually put up with much usually. Trust is a funny thing. After my prior relationship ended, my ex and I were still talking and I felt betrayed by some actions of his. While he never cheated in the years we were together and I know he loved me (even moved back to my state hoping to fix things) and I will always have love for him, I just couldn't get over it. The current state of our relationship really pains me now but I just wouldn't allow myself to give him the opportunity to hurt me again. Now I think most people would consider this current betrayal worse because the guy and I were together and it was just totally disrespectful and in some ways I do too. We talked A LOT though. Hours...days. And when he thought he was done explaining, thought we were okay, we talked some more. And by the time I'd finally listened to him (and actually heard him), I was able to forgive him (not forget). And I trust him. He's left his phone. I haven't had any urge to look at it. If I do have the urge, it means there's a problem and we'll have words. I know there's the possibility that I'm being naive and seeing what I want to here but I feel a complete difference with him. I think he was able to see what he was losing (haha yes i know how cocky that sounds) and is really trying to get his shit together. If I have any sort of gut feeling of uncertainty, I won't hesitate to make it known. When we were together before, I felt insecure and let things little things go that I shouldn't have (hence it getting the point it did, I think). I won't feel like that again. I will walk away first.

I know he didn't invite me to his family function in order to do keep me around. Culture/religion is strong with his family. Also, almost all of his family knows my mom really well - and I think therefore expectations were there. They knew who I was before long months ago and see my mom regularly and so it was a big deal.

I really appreciate the advice. I think it applies well to where I was 2 months ago. And i don't want to be there again. I did make excuses for him before. I realized that while we were apart. I'm always super aware when my friends do it in relationships and really don't want to do that. While I'm not going to end the relationship right now, I am going to step back and re-examine regularly that I am in a healthy place and that this relationship is good for me. Thank you much - I mean it.

Well I honestly hope it all works out for you, I know from experience that no matter what people tell us we have GOT to learn it on our own or we will always question what if. Either way, if it doesn't work out it's not the end of the world. =)

Haven't read all the thread i dont have the time just referring to your first post....Its good that you can identify when your wrong...thats a good trait ... but if its one thing a virgo hates is when there privacy is invaded more over to be caught when they are wrong...I can tell you this and i speak from experience his heart is split between both of you guys...I dont think he truly knows what he wants ...to me he wants you but part of him still wants her... and giving the fact that they work nearby might be a conflict of interest...you gotta weigh your pro's and cons and while your doing it put your feelings aside for a minute because if its one thing you dont wanna do is be in a love triangle or end up putting your heart out there for someone your not sure is going to be with you wholey and solely...i say give him some time and pay close attention to his attitudes...But as far i am concerned...for me i would close that door and move on...thats just my opinion

Posted by queenofdawn

.. I don't quite understand the following statement: "A person who knows right from wrong, doesn't then act on the wrong as if it's honest."

You are full of total shit, if you think that he has done some dirty deed, that was underhanded, and for this reason you would mentally accuse him of not being trusted ... if you would then be mistrusting against him yourself.

It doesn't matter if you (say) the words that you're wrong .. if you then turn around and do it.


It's equivelant to beating your dog, then saying you didn't mean to. Of course, you meant to >>> actions speak louder than words.

You (say) that you KNEW

Posted by acrabbycrab12
What are you apologizing for? WHY ARE YOU STILL AROUND AFTER YOU'VE GOT RID OF THE EX BAGGAGE AND HE HASN'T!?!? It is pointless to give it another shot. I can come up with the most brilliant excuses ever imaginable, however, this doesn't mean that I'm over an ex it's just an excuse.

Agreed.....^^^^^^

Posted by queenofdawn

Giving this another shot is a big deal - not easy for me at all. I don't want to end up a total sucker. I can already see the disapproving looks on my friends' faces. Think I'm being naive in wanting to believe him?

However, regardless of what you did against him ... you have found out enough to issue yourself walking papers ... but, instead of doing what is right AGAIN .... AGAIN ..... you attempt to defend your feelings for him, as if he is worth it.

AND .. you use the excuse of you being naive.

Bullshitters usually are full of excuses .....



Suffer as you wish .... predictably, women always wish to, and will hold onto it like treasure so they can visit it often

Posted by queenofdawn

Disclaimer: I do NOT think it's okay to go through someone's phone. I'd had opportunities before and never did.

That ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ means you knew it was wrong BEFORE you did it.

To say in hinsight you were wrong, and act like all should be forgiven of you based on nothing except your tongue saying the words is nothing less than bullshit.

that's equivelant to him knowing it's wrong to text the ex, then saying "sorry" and being forgiven for saying those words .... when his mind KNEW IT WAS WRONG.


If you should be allowed to lie, by underhanded like that ... then he should be allowed to.


Geese and Gangers

Posted by P-Angel



However, regardless of what you did against him ... you have found out enough to issue yourself walking papers ... but, instead of doing what is right AGAIN .... AGAIN ..... you attempt to defend your feelings for him, as if he is worth it.

As harsh as P-Angel might be this that she said right here is the truth and im speaking from experience...dont ever make excuses for a man your gonna end up hurting yourself and he is gonna end up hurting you ...

P-Angel: Why are you making insulting arguments about an issue I'm not denying? Going through his phone was wrong. Yes, I knew it was wrong beforehand. Show me one person who's never done anything they KNEW was wrong. It doesn't make one's feelings afterwards bullshit. This wasn't pre-meditated at all. If I'd taken a moment to think about it, weighed the pros and cons, known how it would make me feel afterwards about my own character, no I'd not have looked at the darn phone. And no I don't think all should be forgiven of me because I say it was wrong and apologize. While he seems over the fact that I went through his phone, I'M NOT. I feel disappointed in myself every time i think about it. If I were to do this again, I would think it appropriate to call bullshit on me. But I won't. The beating my dog comparison? Seriously? So far fetched that I'm not even gonna go there. You call me a bullshitter so many times that I wonder if maybe you have a different definition - or are you just making reference to my being a taurus? I enjoy reading your comments on threads and I agree with several things you said here - just not that I'm full of shit =-)

Awesomevirgyal: "i say give him some time and pay close attention to his attitudes" - yes, I think that pretty much sums up exactly what I want to do. I don't think he's a horrible person, won't cut off ties with him, won't completely rule out a future with him but yes...

While he swears he knows what he wants (me), remembers why he's not with her, insists that he was only momentarily flattered and is taking steps to prove that we wants a future with me and only me...they are just words and I don't ever want to be in a situation as that one again. Looking at my post again and then most of these responses, it does seem that I need to take a step back here. Sometimes it's difficult to see a situation when one's IN IT - one reason I'm asking questions on this board in the first place. I'm uncertain, confused, and worried about making poor decisions but I am trying to make the best one I can here with what information I have. I certainly don't want to make excuses - for his actions nor for my own - but perhaps my ramblings come across as such.

@queenofdawn at the end of the day you dont need to pay attention to the negativity...just take the constructive criticism that you have gained from your thread and run with it....

All in all i wish you the best babygirl just take your time and figure stuff out eventually you will know whats right for you

queen, dont even entertain P-Angel her sole goal in this forum is to try and point out the flaws of every user in an attempt to make herself feel better.
You are human you make mistakes, as long as you understand that you made the mistake then thats the most important thing.
You dont need negative nancy over here to reiterate what you've already said, shes an imbecile. Talking to her is like talking to a brickwall, it doesnt matter if you are right and have done nothing wrong she will twist your words because misery loves company.

Thanks for sharing this with us here. But one thing is very normal these days that Boys don't take their relationships seriously. There are very rare boys left that will be with one girl for their lifetime. Other boys they need options. They like to play with the feelings of girls. They like being Playboy type. In this they don't understand, The trust they break. They are making it difficult for a person to trust on another person. Building trust o another person becomes difficult. But please don't get depressed due to this. Try coming out of this situation. Don't let this betrayal affect you. If due to this sometime you feel that there are no chances to live, or other thoughts like this come up your mind. Don't let that thought be in your mind for long. Try to talk to someone the same time. Try to talk to a person like Voyante Sérieuse from Martine Voyance at http://www.martine-voyance.com/tarifs/ that will help you come out of your problems.