Frenemy?!?! Grrr!!

I've been having trouble with a Virgo girl who is suppose to be a friend but really every chance she gets she's dogging me. I've tried to just drop it and walk away but every time I do she keeps calling me and "hashing" it out. She'll claim what I hear is gossip and she didn't say the crap that I was told she's saying. She always says she wants to be friends and I'll just shrug it off as rumors. But give it a couple weeks and someone else is telling me they ran into her and she was talking shit.
Her bro is a really good friend of mine and every time I see him he tells me that she's bashing me behind my back. I confront her and she denies it. It's a vicious circle.
The last time we hung out she invited a much younger girl around (she's barely out of high school) and they both got really drunk and was basically mocking everything I said. I'm not stupid or being overly sensitive because once when I got up to leave the room I heard her little high school friend ask why the hell I was even there hanging out with them. We were at Virgos brothers house and he INVITED me. THEY just showed up unannounced. Her bro was uncomfortable and didn't want to confront them so he just sat there. I didn't feel as though I should leave. I didn't want to give them the satisfaction.
I'm so frustrated because I know this is really childish but she has her little high school friend (who just recently started hanging out with her) make remarks about me so she isn't blamed. I don't want to show that this is pissing me off because honestly she'll make it into a joke about how "weak" I am. I'm just DONE. Every time I think it ends she'll call and ask why I won't talk to her and tell me that people are trying to break us apart as friends. She won't QUIT!
What's the deal? Does anyone have any suggestions on how to handle this. I've seriously told her to stop calling me but she'll wait a couple months and call and apologize and tell me that she misses us hanging out and her daughter (a cute little Aries) misses me. Damn I have a heart! YA know? I need to stop caring what people say about me (she feeds people full of crap about me all the time) but it's hard living in a small town. People believe gossip and spread it just because they have nothing better to do. Or maybe I'm just being petty 😛 IDK. *sigh*

Oh... and just to add. The reason I posted this is because I got a call from her brother last night and he told me she came over to his house and was trying to get him to prank me some how and see if they could make me cry?!?! He told her no but he doesn't say much more to her. He's her big bro so ... ya know?

I just don't get if she hates me so much why she tries so hard to be in my life. She tries so hard to make everyone hate me and really it bugs me. Why me? Really I'm not one for drama. It riles me up so bad it makes me almost sick😢

And no I don't think she's jealous nor do I want to hear that. Ugh. That's so gross and typical when people say this person is jealous of that person. I'm not into that and it would make me really sad and disgusted to think that anyone would treat someone horribly and make their lives hell just because they are jealous. Yuck! I don't think that's the case anyway.

If more than one person is confirming that rumor and you are being mistreated to your face, see it for what it really is. Pull out that Scorpio stinger, strike and kill that friendship. Do not be sucked back in and stepped on over and over.

Her brother is nice, if you still want to hang with him...do it outside of his home and on neutral ground. Make it very clear she and her friends are not welcome. As for her daughter, oh well... your ex-friend's loss.

Karma ... what comes around will go around.

In reference to your second statement, she is insecure and has some sort of mental problems acting like that. Dragging you down to make herself look better is yes, infantile.

Cut it off completely with no contact again ever. If the town gossip is the best thing going since sliced bread, you should start looking outside of Smallville and follow your heart to where you can find happiness in the future.

This too shall pass.

So why do you really bother to meet with her again and again when you know that she hasn't and wont change— And you say us Libras are walkovers!!! Got some Libran in you Ging? Trying to keep the peace at all costs?!?!!

Treat her like a band aid and rip it off. Don't go back there for more punishment and dont look back she aint worth it! NO explaination either, she has never been a friend so isn't due one!

Thanks. Yes... I should kill it. I should have a long time ago. Despite what they say we Scorps have hearts. To be fair her husband is a druggie and abusive to her ( I believe she is too but she REALLY strongly denies it and hides it well if she is) and the kids. She's been offered help ( I have her my savings so she could get a place of her own) she goes back. I've always wanted to help her when she starts in on her sob storys. I guess I'm a sucker. I feel as though she lives for the attention. She thrives on drama. She's been kicked out of several bars. In fact there isn't a bar within 30miles she can go back into. I just don't get why she latched onto me.

It's so stupid that I've allowed myself to get into it this far. I just don't know how to get out. I'm childhood friends with her brother.

As to her behavior... that's a classic thing for her to do. She is always trying to get people to react in a negative way for her own enjoyment. She tries for tears or tries to get people to fight. I've witnesses it serveral times. It's astounding.

Thanks again! This really bugs me. I'm in this hip deep. Time to start scooping the shit!

I do have Libra in me! LOL 2 planets. I forget which ones though. I try to be a peacemaker until I've been directly confroted or assulted. The sneaky stuff... I'm not so good at dealing with.

Posted by Gingerscorp
The sneaky stuff... I'm not so good at dealing with.

Careful now, they just might revoke your Scorpio membership badge.

I am not sure what it is that you feel you need from her that you are willing to let her kick you in the teeth in order to get.

Loyalty is admirable, as is long suffering, patience and a sincere desire to make peace. Playing the martyr apart from religious reasons, is not however, and seems so very much beneath you.

And you call yourself an honest to goodness, God fearing, American redhead?

She is not your friend, she has demonstrated this on more than one occasion. Friends do not set up friends to be humiliated because of some random illness. They do it because they are weak, sorry excuses for humans that really have nothing emotionally positive invested in you.

Why don't you ask Mr. airborne? I Bet he would not approve of you allowing yourself to be treated in this fashion, now would he?

I have a couple friends who feel trapped in an abusive relationship ..... and they too feel like they have control over their life if they can control another persons feelings.


If another person is unhappy, then they feel satisfied that they are unhappy because they aren't alone.


Perhaps, if you don't want to lose a friendship, you might try what I do with my friends who are like this ...... and attempt to redirect their life a little bit by giving them something to control.


Good Luck.

Posted by P-Angel
I have a couple friends who feel trapped in an abusive relationship ..... and they too feel like they have control over their life if they can control another persons feelings.


If another person is unhappy, then they feel satisfied that they are unhappy because they aren't alone.


Perhaps, if you don't want to lose a friendship, you might try what I do with my friends who are like this ...... and attempt to redirect their life a little bit by giving them something to control.


Good Luck.

P said it best.

ginger I have a virgo friend that is nuts too so i feel your pain. im also convinved we know the same crazy chick 😛 anyways, the worst thing in the world is to let on that she is getting to you because that's what she wants. sometimes i'm not sure if i'm reading too much into things because why would a person who is my "friend" go so far out of her way to get a rise out of me but she seriously does. i had to step away from the friendship for a few months and even though my friend contacted me I told her that I wasn't up to hanging out for a while (I was putting my focus in school and we also live an hour apart). I would still randomly text her that i love her but no contact. it sounds like your friend has a friend that you dont like and my virgo friend has a friend i cant stand either. since the other girl is always around i just make sure when we all hang out its during the day when theres less of a chance that we'll be drunk. having her one on one is always better so i'll invite her to dinner and that ill treat to ensure the other girl isnt there. it helped for me to find other activities for us to do though. goodluck ginger

I'd really like to thank everyone for the input. I've been going back and forth with this for so long because I thought I was being overly sensitive and a weeny about it. Your comments have made me see that I'm taking abuse and that I'm not crazy!!! LOL
Nassau... Trust me when I say that my Airborne Aries would have taken care of it long ago had he known how bad it got to me. I've smoothed over the issue and shrugged it off as it not being a big enough deal to bother me. Not until this weekend (more drama from her) that he found out I was almost sick with nerves from it did he know. He's pissed to say the least but I'm not unleashing the Mars fury on her because it is MY problem and he doesn't need to stand up for me. I'm happy to know that he is willing but it's not his fight. And yes I AM a red crazy little redhead. 🙂 I just think that reacting to her in anger will only provoke more drama and give her what she wants. I don't mean to come across as a victim as that is the worst then anything to me. I fact she is the one that will play the victim card whenever cornered. The sneaky stuff.... well I believe she is mentally unstable and didn't realize how bad until your guys comments. She's very random. One day she'll be my best friend and out of the blue she'll stab me in the back. I'm still a Scorpio 🙂
P... words of wisdom indeed 🙂 Maybe it's us water signs that sees the unhappy person that she is deep down and thats what made me stick it out for so long. I've tried and I'm getting abused for it. Thank you though for your words.
Ewe... ugh. It's good to know someone knows where I'm coming from. It's insane isn't it?

Really guys... Thanks. It's been a stressful weekend and I eventually got brought to tears because of this which is rare for me. She tried again to apologize and lay the blame all on her friend. I told her that was it I was done and she went ballistic. I also informed her brother that I won't be back to his house. My guy DID put his foot down there saying that if my friend isn't going to have the balls to stand up to his sister for making guest in his house uncomfortable that he doens't need to have guest there. "Because if there is a next time I'm cracking skulls. My girl isn't going to be treated like that." said my Aries honey 🙂
*sigh* I'm almost sick over it but I'll bounce back. I'm tough 🙂

Thanks Clair! Ugh. The situation went from bad to worse. I knew I was going to stir up a hornets nest if I took a stand. If she doesn't get what she wants she throws a tantrum and tries to get everyone to bend to her will. Usually people do just to shut her up.

I got several texts today from her at first pleading with me to come to talk to her and hash it out. She wants to get to the bottom of it and "squash the bullshit". I told her thanks for the offer but no thanks. I'm moving on.
Whew!! She flipped out and started accusing me of running from her and hiding my guilt!! Guilt of what? Figures though. Nothing is ever her fault *rolls eyes*
I haven't spoke to her bro because sadly I have to cut him out too. That sucks and it hurts because I've known him forever. I do know she threatened to tell him that I was bad mouthing him behind his back. I told her whatever makes her feel better about herself... go ahead. If he chooses to believe it then he isn't all that great of a friend.
I told her today that this was it. No more contact. She switched up tactics from threatening to pleading to playing the victim. I held my ground.
It isn't going to be easy because now she's on the war path and I'm enemy #1. I know she'll do whatever it takes to smear me. It's ok though. If she continues her histerical behaviour and I remain calm and aloof they'll wonder what the hell is wrong with her. She started already to contact mutal friends and try to get them to turn on me. I told them that if that is what they felt the right thing was to do then to go for it. I'm weeding out the sissies and the true ones will stay. I'm bummed that there is drama but it does feel like there has been weight lifted off my shoulders!

Thanks!!!!