Is it worth it?

I've been talking to a virgo guy for about a year now. It's been mainly online since it's most convenient as we live a few hours away from each other. In the beginning, everything was perfect. He was very attentive, flirty, initiated contact etc. He opened up to me about his issues pretty much from the start (we had/still have amazing chemistry) and I've been present for his emotional side. So, when he did his first "vanishing act" you can see that I was shocked. He apologized and told me that he's just going through shit and he needs space. Ok, I can respect that. Everyone deals with their shit differently. About a week or so later, he'll come back like everything's fine. Ok, a bit weird as I've never dealt with someone like that but ok, let's start where we left off. This happens at least once every month.

It pisses me off that we'll be online together and he won't message me. I'll message him to start something but he won't keep it going. This is the guy who brought up moving in with me. Said we'll have an amazing life blah etc. I don't think he has another female because he's told me that he's someone who only has sex when he's committed to someone and dislikes casual sex.

I just want to know if it's worth it. Things would be PERFECT if he didn't push me away. I've always supported him when he's having troubles and is an emotional mess. I know our living situations are not ideal and we'll be able to move forward once we both graduate but it makes me wonder. If he's like this now when we're not together, hows it going to be when we live together? is he going to pull this same push and pull crap? is he going to be distant? Leaving will be difficult since I'm already in deep. This is my first virgo I've dealt with so it's very confusing.

Another thing, when he does pull away and come back like nothing is wrong, I'll be distant towards him but he is either clueless or he just doesn't care.

I've expressed to him that it hurts my feelings when he does these things when we're suppose to be talking and I feel like he only wants to talk on his terms. He said that he's sorry. that's it. no explanation. He did tell me once that he was getting close to me and it was freaking him out. he had a couple of bad relationships that messed him up I suppose. but doesn't he realize he's heading in that direction if he cuts me off and acts like I'm just a convenience? or does he just not care. For the record, he's never said one mean thing to me. He's also never been condescending to me even if I deserved it (he was trying to instruct me on something and I was spacing out like a total ditz)

Posted by rose88

If he's like this now when we're not together, hows it going to be when we live together? .

It will be reality then. Online/long distance relationships is comparable to sitting down in a chair and reading a fictional romance novel and instead of reading the novel in a day or two it's taken you a year. It's NOT real it's FICTION!

Posted by LetltB

Posted by rose88

If he's like this now when we're not together, hows it going to be when we live together? .

It will be reality then. Online/long distance relationships is comparable to sitting down in a chair and reading a fictional romance novel and instead of reading the novel in a day or two it's taken you a year. It's NOT real it's FICTION!

click to expand

+10000


i wonder why people fall in love with an "ideal" an "image" and it's not real!!! a book we read and go through the motions and cry when it's emotional and sad and then after it's over, and close the book...it's OVER. We go on with our real lives.

I also noticed this reading other astro forums, where people fall in love with an "IDEAL" and not the real person...and they don't spend time with the person in real life, day to day....everyday.
And this is so weird!! this kind of idealism, where they are projecting their own kind of wishful love.

It is a very very CREEPY kind of fake love.

gross.