itsnoteasybeingavirgo
@itsnoteasybeingavirgo
14 Years
Comments: 0 · Posts: 216 · Topics: 54
Is this a TYPICAL Virgo behavior
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Sounds like me.
Pretty much me as well, just I am not so much shattered. Quickly aloof 🙂
Yep
1. I always keep myself emotionally distant from people and hide my problems and emotions even from friends and loved ones.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
I do the same things
Mhm.
But why virgos?
So true....haven't figured out the WHY yet.
Yep. 5 & 6 to a lesser extent but I feel ya!
Posted by FemmeScorpion
But why virgos?
1. I always keep myself emotionally distant from people and hide my problems and emotions even from friends and loved ones.
Because we get hurt easily when we open ourselves up--very sensitive, no matter what type of tough exterior we exhibit. Seems the majority of us believe it's better never to have loved than to have loved and lost. At least if you didn't show love, you didn't get hurt, and all that jazz. Most...not all.
2. It is really hard for me to trust anyone that deeply that I start sharing my problems and emotions with someone.
We don't like to whine/complain--comes off as weakness (especially when we think of the whiners and complainers that come running to us day in and day out). We don't give ourselves a break, and realize that everyone has problems, even our unemotional-seeming behinds.
3. Once I choose a person as my friend then I am like an open book to that person.
That's pretty self-explanatory. We don't have many acquaintances, we have FEW close friends. When we give you our trust, yes, we open the floodgates and just hope we're right about your good character, so you won't turn around and hurt us badly with said information.
4. I give my 101% and can do ANYTHING for that person.
We want to exhibit who we really are inside, once you've given us reasons to trust you. We want to sparkle/shine for that person that has allowed us to show who we really are inside. We take pleasure in pleasing others.
5. But start feeling that other person (a) is not reciprocating same way, (b) don't value my love and (c) is taking me for granted.
We're perfectionists, and believe that if we're going out of our way 101% the other person should as well. It's our downfall, and the reason most people feel they're not good enough for us, even though we think they're a perfect match. We need to stop being so hard on ourselves and others, but that's easier said than done it feels...
6. I (first stage) tolerate his/her hurting/indifference without even complaining, (second stage) tell what is hurting/bothering me and ask to communicate to resolve the issues and save the relation but then (final stage) cut all the ties silently and become aloof. (shattered from inside but cold from outside)
Any aloof/cutting all ties moves = afraid to get hurt--whether it's by getting too close to someone w
(continued)
we're not sure of, or entering into a rocky situation that could cause us to lose our balance. We are obsessed with "both feet planted firmly on the ground", and it causes us to miss out on lots of wonderful opportunities that require some risk, unfortunatenly...
7. Start believing that no one can understand me and I can never get TRUE LOVE and close myself in shell. Still nice and friendly with people but emotionally detached.
Martyr/victim mentality in most. We're optimistic for others, but self-pessimists. Personally speaking, I've always said, "I'd rather expect the worst, and be surprised by the best case scenario, than to expect great things, and be crushed by the worst case scenario". Once agian, not a great mindset--I can admit that, but it's hard to break out of. Self-pessimist.
we're not sure of, or entering into a rocky situation that could cause us to lose our balance. We are obsessed with "both feet planted firmly on the ground", and it causes us to miss out on lots of wonderful opportunities that require some risk, unfortunatenly...
7. Start believing that no one can understand me and I can never get TRUE LOVE and close myself in shell. Still nice and friendly with people but emotionally detached.
Martyr/victim mentality in most. We're optimistic for others, but self-pessimists. Personally speaking, I've always said, "I'd rather expect the worst, and be surprised by the best case scenario, than to expect great things, and be crushed by the worst case scenario". Once agian, not a great mindset--I can admit that, but it's hard to break out of. Self-pessimist.
Posted by itsnoteasybeingavirgo
1. I always keep myself emotionally distant from people and hide my problems and emotions even from friends and loved ones.
2. It is really hard for me to trust anyone that deeply that I start sharing my problems and emotions with someone.
3. Once I choose a person as my friend then I am like an open book to that person.
4. I give my 101% and can do ANYTHING for that person.
5. But start feeling that other person (a) is not reciprocating same way, (b) don't value my love and (c) is taking me for granted.
6. I (first stage) tolerate his/her hurting/indifference without even complaining, (second stage) tell what is hurting/bothering me and ask to communicate to resolve the issues and save the relation but then (final stage) cut all the ties silently and become aloof. (shattered from inside but cold from outside)
7. Start believing that no one can understand me and I can never get TRUE LOVE and close myself in shell. Still nice and friendly with people but emotionally detached.
p.s. I did this multiple times in my life and now wonder if I am repeating a mistake again and again.
Why do we do these things?
Because emotions/feelings make us uncomfortable more so than anything, and for some, being vulnerable is a sign of weakness (and we don't like to look weak)
Because we're extremely self-reliant (we need to be when the world lets us down)
Because we're hella sensitive (underneath the steel & ice & tough exterior, lies one of the softest, kindest, warmest hearts)
Because we usually don't do the types of shit to others that people do to us (our hearts are 'true' and rarely do we find people who can give that back to us)
Because we're FIERCELY protective of our image/reputation (we can't stand to look bad in other's eyes)
Because when it comes to love we can be HIGHLY insecure (why do they want me when there are so many better people out there?)
Because we want to be perfect (although we may already be in the eyes of some folk) and even though we know perfection is an illusion, we are like the anorexic girl who looks into the mirror and still sees the fat kid that likes cake, so therefore, in our minds there's always room for improvement. It never stops although our goal of perfection is completely unattainable.
Because when you've hurt us enough, cutting you off is a survival mechanism.
Continued...
It is imperative that we thrive and the only way to do that is to get rid of whatever it is that is causing us emotional/psychological, etc, pain/hurt.
We don't by any means delight in getting rid of people but we will be really clinical about it.
It is imperative that we thrive and the only way to do that is to get rid of whatever it is that is causing us emotional/psychological, etc, pain/hurt.
We don't by any means delight in getting rid of people but we will be really clinical about it.
^^^Doppleganger
🙂
🙂
So you're starting to feel like you will never find true love.....check out this thread.
http://www.dxpnet.com/opinion/messages.asp?id=2503239<BR>
You are not alone.
I think that it can be quite unfair at times how people can judge us too quickly. Being slow to move or progress in a relationship makes people feel like we do not care. And then when we open up, they take our kindess for weakness which pisses me off. WHAT DO THEY WANT FROM ME? When I am with a man I love to cosset him only to see that he turns into an a $ $ hole. The connection that us virgos need is deeper than what lies on the surface. Some are just too superficial to get past all of that.
http://www.dxpnet.com/opinion/messages.asp?id=2503239<BR>
You are not alone.
I think that it can be quite unfair at times how people can judge us too quickly. Being slow to move or progress in a relationship makes people feel like we do not care. And then when we open up, they take our kindess for weakness which pisses me off. WHAT DO THEY WANT FROM ME? When I am with a man I love to cosset him only to see that he turns into an a $ $ hole. The connection that us virgos need is deeper than what lies on the surface. Some are just too superficial to get past all of that.
And for anyone who says "no, Virgos aren't this way, the ones I know are the opposite, blah, blah, blah..." NEWSFLASH:
The Virgo is a walking paradox!
Yes...we are;
Sensitive yet strong
Insecure yet arrogant/cocky...whatev
Reliable yet reliant
Cold yet warm (or hot...depends on the situation 😉)
Aloof yet accessible
Sweet yet sour
Shy yet outgoing/extroverted (when the need arises)
Underdogs yet topdogs (sort of like pitbulls)
Reticent yet some of the most talkative mofos you'll ever meet!
hardworking yet lazy (especially if we don't feel useful or are not happy with what we're doing)
ETCETERA, ETCETERA, ETCETERA!!!
The Virgo is a walking paradox!
Yes...we are;
Sensitive yet strong
Insecure yet arrogant/cocky...whatev
Reliable yet reliant
Cold yet warm (or hot...depends on the situation 😉)
Aloof yet accessible
Sweet yet sour
Shy yet outgoing/extroverted (when the need arises)
Underdogs yet topdogs (sort of like pitbulls)
Reticent yet some of the most talkative mofos you'll ever meet!
hardworking yet lazy (especially if we don't feel useful or are not happy with what we're doing)
ETCETERA, ETCETERA, ETCETERA!!!
Posted by CLCNY30
^^^Doppleganger
🙂
So FUZZ'N eerie! After I posted my shit I saw yours and said "somebody must've mixed up one of my mudda or fahda's chilluns in de hospital and gave them to somebotty else". DAMN! 😉
Posted by PlanetMercuryGirl
So you're starting to feel like you will never find true love.....check out this thread.
http://www.dxpnet.com/opinion/messages.asp?id=2503239<BR>
You are not alone.
I think that it can be quite unfair at times how people can judge us too quickly. Being slow to move or progress in a relationship makes people feel like we do not care. And then when we open up, they take our kindess for weakness which pisses me off. WHAT DO THEY WANT FROM ME? When I am with a man I love to cosset him only to see that he turns into an a $ $ hole. The connection that us virgos need is deeper than what lies on the surface. Some are just too superficial to get past all of that.
I co-sign this fully, especially "what do they want from me". I am slow in love but when I get there I always feel like the tables turn and I'm left thinking is this some cruel joke. I'm a Libra by the way :-) with ALOT of virgo in my chart.
Posted by VirgoVixxxenPosted by CLCNY30
^^^Doppleganger
🙂
So FUZZ'N eerie! After I posted my shit I saw yours and said "somebody must've mixed up one of my mudda or fahda's chilluns in de hospital and gave them to somebotty else". DAMN! 😉click to expand
LMFAO! I don't know why we're still always surprised, lmfao. How many times are we gonna say, "I WAS JUST THINKING THAT!" LOL!
Posted by CLCNY30Posted by VirgoVixxxenPosted by CLCNY30
^^^Doppleganger
🙂
So FUZZ'N eerie! After I posted my shit I saw yours and said "somebody must've mixed up one of my mudda or fahda's chilluns in de hospital and gave them to somebotty else". DAMN! 😉
LMFAO! I don't know why we're still always surprised, lmfao. How many times are we gonna say, "I WAS JUST THINKING THAT!" LOL!click to expand
Were so damn >here< 🙂
Posted by VirgoVixxxen
And for anyone who says "no, Virgos aren't this way, the ones I know are the opposite, blah, blah, blah..." NEWSFLASH:
The Virgo is a walking paradox!
Yes...we are;
Sensitive yet strong
Insecure yet arrogant/cocky...whatev
Reliable yet reliant
Cold yet warm (or hot...depends on the situation 😉)
Aloof yet accessible
Sweet yet sour
Shy yet outgoing/extroverted (when the need arises)
Underdogs yet topdogs (sort of like pitbulls)
Reticent yet some of the most talkative mofos you'll ever meet!
hardworking yet lazy (especially if we don't feel useful or are not happy with what we're doing)
ETCETERA, ETCETERA, ETCETERA!!!
I agree with being a paradox, yes. Arrogant? Really? The more evolved virgos are more aware of their tendency to act superior.
VirgoVixxxen and CLCNY30.....couldn't of said it better myself!! 🙂
So, now the Virgo is saying that they are a contridiction ... you all sure do a lot of spinning for a group of people who like to pride themsevles on upholding absolutes.
Posted by LostinmyMind11
VirgoVixxxen and CLCNY30.....couldn't of said it better myself!! 🙂
Lol 😛
I can def. understand why people don't know how to proceed with us. Sometimes I actually have to just STOP, and take a step back and try to view things from the other person's POV. This, of course, leads me to retreating within myself...which makes them think I'm angry at them or just shutting down...which creates another gigantic clusterfvck...
*sigh*
Sometimes I feel like I'm damned if I do or don't...
But I do understand other people's frustration.
i just tell people whatever works for you works for you and apply that to me as well lol.
Posted by PlanetMercuryGirlPosted by VirgoVixxxen
And for anyone who says "no, Virgos aren't this way, the ones I know are the opposite, blah, blah, blah..." NEWSFLASH:
The Virgo is a walking paradox!
Yes...we are;
Sensitive yet strong
Insecure yet arrogant/cocky...whatev
Reliable yet reliant
Cold yet warm (or hot...depends on the situation 😉)
Aloof yet accessible
Sweet yet sour
Shy yet outgoing/extroverted (when the need arises)
Underdogs yet topdogs (sort of like pitbulls)
Reticent yet some of the most talkative mofos you'll ever meet!
hardworking yet lazy (especially if we don't feel useful or are not happy with what we're doing)
ETCETERA, ETCETERA, ETCETERA!!!
I agree with being a paradox, yes. Arrogant? Really? The more evolved virgos are more aware of their tendency to act superior.click to expand
Yes, arrogant, and more in the sense of knowing what we're worth and being confident in our abilities (and don't forget our high standards), not arrogant just to be jerks (but there are still jerks in every sign).
Just because someone (a more evolved individual) is aware of a particular trait (in this case a negative?) doesn't mean that it isn't there or that it doesn't exist but just that they have the know-how or are more skilled in managing/supressing it better.
Posted by CLCNY30Posted by LostinmyMind11
VirgoVixxxen and CLCNY30.....couldn't of said it better myself!! 🙂
Lol 😛
I can def. understand why people don't know how to proceed with us. Sometimes I actually have to just STOP, and take a step back and try to view things from the other person's POV. This, of course, leads me to retreating within myself...which makes them think I'm angry at them or just shutting down...which creates another gigantic clusterfvck...
*sigh*
Sometimes I feel like I'm damned if I do or don't...
But I do understand other people's frustration.click to expand
Couldn't have said it better. I feel so mizundastood sometimes. An objective POV is good. Learn alot of things that you didn't realize before but I've come to learn that often how people interpret you on the outside is not always a true reflection of what's really going on with you on the inside...aaaahhhh....
Posted by CLCNY30Posted by FemmeScorpion
But why virgos?click to expand
1. I always keep myself emotionally distant from people and hide my problems and emotions even from friends and loved ones.
Because we get hurt easily when we open ourselves up--very sensitive, no matter what type of tough exterior we exhibit. Seems the majority of us believe it's better never to have loved than to have loved and lost. At least if you didn't show love, you didn't get hurt, and all that jazz. Most...not all.
2. It is really hard for me to trust anyone that deeply that I start sharing my problems and emotions with someone.
We don't like to whine/complain--comes off as weakness (especially when we think of the whiners and complainers that come running to us day in and day out). We don't give ourselves a break, and realize that everyone has problems, even our unemotional-seeming behinds.
3. Once I choose a person as my friend then I am like an open book to that person.
That's pretty self-explanatory. We don't have many acquaintances, we have FEW close friends. When we give you our trust, yes, we open the floodgates and just hope we're right about your good character, so you won't turn around and hurt us badly with said information.
4. I give my 101% and can do ANYTHING for that person.
We want to exhibit who we really are inside, once you've given us reasons to trust you. We want to sparkle/shine for that person that has allowed us to show who we really are inside. We take pleasure in pleasing others.
5. But start feeling that other person (a) is not reciprocating same way, (b) don't value my love and (c) is taking me for granted.
We're perfectionists, and believe that if we're going out of our way 101% the other person should as well. It's our downfall, and the reason most people feel they're not good enough for us, even though we think they're a perfect match. We need to stop being so hard on ourselves and others, but that's easier said than done it feels...
6. I (first stage) tolerate his/her hurting/indifference without even complaining, (second stage) tell what is hurting/bothering me and ask to communicate to resolve the issues and save the relation but then (final stage) cut all the ties silently and become aloof. (shattered from inside but cold from outside)
Any aloof/cutt
^^^ got cut off...sorry.
C, was gonna say that I reread yours again and we seriously said like the same fuzz'n thing....un-fricking-canny.
C, was gonna say that I reread yours again and we seriously said like the same fuzz'n thing....un-fricking-canny.
Lmfao! I know, I was shaking my head about that at work.
Welp...at least the repitition proves we mean it, lmfao
Welp...at least the repitition proves we mean it, lmfao
Posted by CLCNY30
Lmfao! I know, I was shaking my head about that at work.
Welp...at least the repitition proves we mean it, lmfao
LOL, me too!
All sides (and we have alot) of the Virgo have been discussed ad nauseum on this board...good, bad, and indifferent...I doubt I'm the first to say we're a paradox...that we can go left and right, up and down, East and West? LMAO...meh, maybe some of the other Virgos feel differently.
Look like Virgo's need some lovin *hugs everyone* 🙂
Posted by P-Angel
So, now the Virgo is saying that they are a contridiction ... you all sure do a lot of spinning for a group of people who like to pride themsevles on upholding absolutes.
P-Angel, is it utterly impossible for you to say something nice about someone?
Btw, we don't "pride ourselves" on upholding absolutes. We're a mutable sign to start with and any upholding of "absolutes" that we manage to pull off is merely part and parcel of our nature--much like jealousy and aimlessness are part of yours.
CLC, are you from the South by any chance?
Posted by **StringsAttached**
CLC, are you from the South by any chance?
No, lol. Born and raised in NY.
Hmmm . . . it was the "welp" that got me. 🙂
Posted by **StringsAttached**
Hmmm . . . it was the "welp" that got me. 🙂
LOL! I was just about to ask why you asked, lmmfao.
VirgoVixxen:
"Yes, arrogant, and more in the sense of knowing what we're worth and being confident in our abilities (and don't forget our high standards), not arrogant just to be jerks (but there are still jerks in every sign).
Just because someone (a more evolved individual) is aware of a particular trait (in this case a negative?) doesn't mean that it isn't there or that it doesn't exist but just that they have the know-how or are more skilled in managing/supressing it better."
PMG:
I guess so in most cases. I am not arrogant nor do I supress it. I have been told that I am modest and humble. It just surprises me that I keep hearing virgos say that we are arrogant. I don't know......
I DO know what you mean about being aware of my negative traits and managing them. Maturity plays a part in that and I don't only mean age.
"Yes, arrogant, and more in the sense of knowing what we're worth and being confident in our abilities (and don't forget our high standards), not arrogant just to be jerks (but there are still jerks in every sign).
Just because someone (a more evolved individual) is aware of a particular trait (in this case a negative?) doesn't mean that it isn't there or that it doesn't exist but just that they have the know-how or are more skilled in managing/supressing it better."
PMG:
I guess so in most cases. I am not arrogant nor do I supress it. I have been told that I am modest and humble. It just surprises me that I keep hearing virgos say that we are arrogant. I don't know......
I DO know what you mean about being aware of my negative traits and managing them. Maturity plays a part in that and I don't only mean age.
Posted by **StringsAttached**Posted by P-Angel
So, now the Virgo is saying that they are a contridiction ... you all sure do a lot of spinning for a group of people who like to pride themsevles on upholding absolutes.
P-Angel, is it utterly impossible for you to say something nice about someone?
Btw, we don't "pride ourselves" on upholding absolutes. We're a mutable sign to start with and any upholding of "absolutes" that we manage to pull off is merely part and parcel of our nature--much like jealousy and aimlessness are part of yours.click to expand
Thank you honey for saying that. It's not even Christmas and yet Scrooge is always hangin' around.
Paradox: a statement or proposition that SEEMS self-contradictory or absurd but in reality expresses a POSSIBLE TRUTH.
Posted by PlanetMercuryGirl
Thank you honey for saying that. It's not even Christmas and yet Scrooge is always hangin' around.
Yeah, and I wasn't even done yet, lol.
Posted by P-Angel
So, now the Virgo is saying that they are a contridiction ... you all sure do a lot of spinning for a group of people who like to pride themsevles on upholding absolutes.click to expand
But I till ya one thang. We mihgt be totalitriarians but i'ts fer dang sure we can spell rihgt!
Since you pride yerself on knowing so much, how's come you cant spell rihgt?
Posted by **StringsAttached**Posted by PlanetMercuryGirl
Thank you honey for saying that. It's not even Christmas and yet Scrooge is always hangin' around.
Yeah, and I wasn't even done yet, lol.
Posted by P-Angel
So, now the Virgo is saying that they are a contridiction ... you all sure do a lot of spinning for a group of people who like to pride themsevles on upholding absolutes.
But I till ya one thang. We mihgt be totalitriarians but i'ts fer dang sure we can spell rihgt!
Since you pride yerself on knowing so much, how's come you cant spell rihgt?click to expand
Hahahaha! Contridiction & themsevles? Is that how it's spelled?
true though recently i have learned to open up more regardless. especially since i dont tend to keep secrets. i trust my leo or gemini girlfriends with this usually. great advice givers and supports =]
Posted by PlanetMercuryGirl
VirgoVixxen:
"Yes, arrogant, and more in the sense of knowing what we're worth and being confident in our abilities (and don't forget our high standards), not arrogant just to be jerks (but there are still jerks in every sign).
Just because someone (a more evolved individual) is aware of a particular trait (in this case a negative?) doesn't mean that it isn't there or that it doesn't exist but just that they have the know-how or are more skilled in managing/supressing it better."
PMG:
I guess so in most cases. I am not arrogant nor do I supress it. I have been told that I am modest and humble. It just surprises me that I keep hearing virgos say that we are arrogant. I don't know......
I DO know what you mean about being aware of my negative traits and managing them. Maturity plays a part in that and I don't only mean age.
Obviously I don't know every Virgo in the world but the ones I do know (and even many of the ones I haven't known personally but have observed) are very humble and modest but at the same time have an arrogant air to them. If this is not you, fine, and again, the arrogance has more to do with their capabilities, accomplishments, sense of self worth and so on and so forth. Virgos tend to be very 'high-minded' people and with that I think a little cockiness sometimes comes with the territory. It's about what we have to offer more than anything else. I find that most people have to measure to the Virgo standard and not the other way 'round. I'm not necessarily saying it's a bad thing. Just MY OBSERVATION.
#3 and #7 apply to me 100%
Posted by VirgoVixxxenPosted by PlanetMercuryGirl
VirgoVixxen:
"Yes, arrogant, and more in the sense of knowing what we're worth and being confident in our abilities (and don't forget our high standards), not arrogant just to be jerks (but there are still jerks in every sign).
Just because someone (a more evolved individual) is aware of a particular trait (in this case a negative?) doesn't mean that it isn't there or that it doesn't exist but just that they have the know-how or are more skilled in managing/supressing it better."
PMG:
I guess so in most cases. I am not arrogant nor do I supress it. I have been told that I am modest and humble. It just surprises me that I keep hearing virgos say that we are arrogant. I don't know......
I DO know what you mean about being aware of my negative traits and managing them. Maturity plays a part in that and I don't only mean age.
Obviously I don't know every Virgo in the world but the ones I do know (and even many of the ones I haven't known personally but have observed) are very humble and modest but at the same time have an arrogant air to them. If this is not you, fine, and again, the arrogance has more to do with their capabilities, accomplishments, sense of self worth and so on and so forth. Virgos tend to be very 'high-minded' people and with that I think a little cockiness sometimes comes with the territory. It's about what we have to offer more than anything else. I find that most people have to measure to the Virgo standard and not the other way 'round. I'm not necessarily saying it's a bad thing. Just MY OBSERVATION.click to expand
I respect what you have to say. It makes sense.
Just reading this topic & it's comments makes me think all Virgos came from the same planet to earth lol (being nice ok don't get annoyed at me :o) i can even relate to all of this! it's amazing and it grabs my attention every time!
I believe you need to give yourselves more credit because your not doing it! (coming from a Cap Woman I've got that many Virgos [M & F] around me everyday sister, best friends, work mates, lovers, ex lovers etc etc etc)
I believe you need to give yourselves more credit because your not doing it! (coming from a Cap Woman I've got that many Virgos [M & F] around me everyday sister, best friends, work mates, lovers, ex lovers etc etc etc)
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2. It is really hard for me to trust anyone that deeply that I start sharing my problems and emotions with someone.
3. Once I choose a person as my friend then I am like an open book to that person.
4. I give my 101% and can do ANYTHING for that person.
5. But start feeling that other person (a) is not reciprocating same way, (b) don't value my love and (c) is taking me for granted.
6. I (first stage) tolerate his/her hurting/indifference without even complaining, (second stage) tell what is hurting/bothering me and ask to communicate to resolve the issues and save the relation but then (final stage) cut all the ties silently and become aloof. (shattered from inside but cold from outside)
7. Start believing that no one can understand me and I can never get TRUE LOVE and close myself in shell. Still nice and friendly with people but emotionally detached.
p.s. I did this multiple times in my life and now wonder if I am repeating a mistake again and again.