My Virgo is Acting Weird

I recently moved after being in the same city for about 4 years. My bff is a Virgo and during my time there, we were hella tight. He's a playa to the nth degree.

So lately he's been texting a lot more. Just the normal smart ass kinda stuff but at times he says things that throw me off. He keeps asking me to visit him and stay for weeks...months b/c he misses me a lot. He called this morn and we spoke for a few hours, then he got on skype to show me his abs 😛

In a way, it's harmless cause on one hand, he keeps telling me to move back, on the other, he's talking about the women he's juggling. I don't take him seriously when he talks about his feelings for me as I know he runs the same lines on EVERY woman he meets.

HOWEVER, when I tell him no, deflect or say something smart ass, he gets oddly quiet. I've noticed this increasingly and now that I'm away, it's more pronounced. It's the only time I feel uncomfortable with him. If it's via phone, it's more of a long, awkward pause. If it's via text, he just stops texting and I may not hear from him again for hours/days.

So in this conversation he offered to fly me out again and said he'd pay for the tickets. He said he just wants to hang out and chill with me again. That part is legit...genuine. We are REALLY good friends. Maybe that's all there is to it?

But I also know him well enough that he does want to sleep with me (again) and that wasn't so much an issue in the past. Thus I'm wondering if I should go see him? When I know I don't want a man in that way, I don't send mixed signals. It's not fair to me or him. But I really miss my friend and I want to hang out with him again. I just am not sure that's all he wants anymore. Why is he all of a sudden talking more about being with me?

Don't do it....... this is EXACTLY what my Virgo did to me. EXACTLY!!!!! Don't do it........

LMAO! don't worry. not going there.

my no means NO! and he has always respected that. i don't expect him to not respect it now. it's just he seems like he's on the verge of saying something more but then he holds back and jokes with me or i will say something smart/dismissive because...well, i'm a smart ass. all i can say is that it makes me nervous/uncomfortable. like if a relative got too fresh with me uncomfortable. he's like a big bro.

what makes it even more complicated is that about 2 years back i moved back home for a bit to be close to fam. i was home for about a year and i was debating on if i should stay then. he didn't act like this at all then. so this is definitely different and i don't know why/what changed? would love to crawl inside that man's head for a few hours.

LIB - thanks for the response. ok, full confession - his brother is my ex. there, i said it! let the judgment begin...NOW!

the times we had sex were one of the biggest mistakes i've ever made in my life. i broke my cardinal rule of not drinking around a man in situations that could get out of hand. i was also pretty vulnerable due to things my ex did. regardless, there's no excuse for my behavior and it pains me that i succumbed but at the same time, i'm a grown ass woman and i have nothing to be ashamed of.

my ex was a jackass. i lusted him immensely but he cheated more times than i care to know. hell, dude treated me like crap truthfully. the VM and i befriended one another and innocently began hanging out. in reality, i ended up spending more time with the Virgo than i did my ex. to this day, my ex doesn't know how close VM and i are. we literally spent 60% + of the week together. we were more of a couple than i was with my ex. in spite of all this, he never bad mouthed my ex, he never told my ex that we hung out but he did sorta guide me to see the light. after the breakup, he and i remained friends.

thus, we can never be together because it'd just be AWK-WARD!...not to mention wrong. i think it would destroy their relationship in the short-term and ultimately, he'd side with his bro anyway.

i think that's why i have a block on my heart when it comes to the virgo. i can't date him because of my ex. i can't date him because he's a whore. i can't date him because i'm not attracted to him like that. his brother on the other hand, if that man walked in this house right now i might throw my panties at him.

so the reason why i not more clear is because i've been really clear for over 3+ years. i made a mistake when we slept together but aside from those drunken indiscretions, i made it clear that i could not/would not be able to do anything with him ever again...but be friends. and yet, he's still acting weird. not giving up his womanizing, but acting weird nonetheless.

to give you an example of how different...odd the situation was, the first time i met their mom, wasn't via my ex. it was with the virgo. and i sat there communicating with his mom who was wonderful thinking...what kinda sick, twisted shit is this? it was nearly 3 years after we'd has sex and the ex and i had broken up at this point but i always felt..."exposed." like even being overt with our friendship broke some code and it didn't matter that our friendship was more real than my relationship with my ex was, i had violated some unwritten law and i felt like there was a scarlet letter on my chest.

i also wanted to work out things with my ex. so i thought hmm...what if we work things out and the ex takes me by to meet mom. how is that going to go over? how fuqn awkward will that be? she knows me as the virgo's friend. and here i am with her other son.

i'm such a ho 🙂

JERRY JERRY JERRY JERRY!!! 😄


I want Tubby on Jerry Springer show. 😛


Title: I had sex with my ex brother. jk 😄

what sign is the ex..

jerry's guests are fake.

leeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeooooooooooooooooooooo

Posted by tubbyscubby
leeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeooooooooooooooooooooo

Ohhhhh its all clear now the square attraction.. makes since he cheated, leo males are big cheaters.. those are all my friends and they are big cheats.. i feel your using this relastionship to some how get back to the ex.. I also feel that your sum what attracted to your friend.. but won't act on it bc of the feeling you still have feeling for his bro. Tight spot to be in, if you guys are really friends tell him why you can't be with him like he wants.. he will respect that.

Posted by seavixen2
NICE new pic VK!

oh thank sexy vixen 😉 thought i would do something new..

uhm...this is the LAST thing i'd do to get back at my ex. i still care for him and this would ruin any chances of our ever being able to get back together so uhm nope, wrong.

the virgo is more a slut than the leo. the leo isn't a huge cheater, he just cheated. i'm not a snooping type of woman. i trusted him when he said he wasn't doing this or that but in an indirect way found out that times when he said he was home alone, he wasn't. if it weren't for befriending the virgo, we might still be together and i'd be just as jaded and naive as i was for years.

at the end of the day, the leo isn't who i thought he was and i'm not who he thinks i am so it's whatever. i still have feelings for dude but it's all lust. we're not as close as we should've been over 5 years. it took a while but i was like damn, here the VM is sharing stuff from their childhood and the leo has never even thought to tell me this stuff. so as time went on, i realized how little i knew about him...how little he wanted me to know. so i let go.

cheating just isn't me and i think there's a part of me that wants to confess but it'd just hurt the leo and their relationship so it's like this secret that i want to get out so i can ask for forgiveness. i can't stand not owning up to my own failings. if i hurt you, i will be the first to woman up and take whatever happens.

anyway, what was i talking about? i think i'll probably go and see him eventually but i'll stay in a hotel instead of a spare room.

Posted by tubbyscubby
at the end of the day, the leo isn't who i thought he was and i'm not who he thinks i am so it's whatever. i still have feelings for dude but it's all lust. we're not as close as we should've been over 5 years. it took a while but i was like damn, here the VM is sharing stuff from their childhood and the leo has never even thought to tell me this stuff. so as time went on, i realized how little i knew about him...how little he wanted me to know. so i let go. cheating just isn't me and i think there's a part of me that wants to confess but it'd just hurt the leo and their relationship so it's like this secret that i want to get out so i can ask for forgiveness. i can't stand not owning up to my own failings. if i hurt you, i will be the first to woman up and take whatever happens. anyway, what was i talking about? i think i'll probably go and see him eventually but i'll stay in a hotel instead of a spare room.

Good idea about the hotel, I feel like you want to tell the leo the truth bc in some small way you want to hurt him like he hurt you.. I hope i'm wrong but if you want to tell the truth bc you really feel bad than go head. But that weird feeling you get sometimes will get bigger. Yeah when a man doesn't show you to his mom he really is not feeling you just look out for that with future guys.

"But I also know him well enough that he does want to sleep with me (again) and that wasn't so much an issue in the past. Thus I'm wondering if I should go see him? When I know I don't want a man in that way, I don't send mixed signals. It's not fair to me or him. But I really miss my friend and I want to hang out with him again. I just am not sure that's all he wants anymore. Why is he all of a sudden talking more about being with me?"

You can either spend your time over analyzing the "what if's" and "But's"! or just go hang with him and see where the cards fall. It doesn't sound like this guy is some stranger. He's someone fairly dear to you and has been for some time.

Worst Case Scenario: You get to hang with a old friend who's flying you out for a mini vacation. (Hell, I'll go pretty damn far to share a meal with someone)
Best Case Scenario: A little "something something"? Some clarity? Perhaps just some laughs?

Fuck it. Jump in the fire and go! Fate loves the fearless.

virgoking - not everyone is vindictive and spiteful like your sign.

it's been THREE YEARS! do you not think that i would've hurt the leo a loooooooooooong time ago? i don't hold grudges. if i do a wrong, i fess up. it's how i've always been. i do not keep secrets. i'm an open book. i debated on telling the truth about this scenario but i'm letting it all hang out because if i wanted advice and couldn't get that without fessing up.

so no, i never intended to hurt the leo just like i never intended to befriend or sleep with the virgo. shit happens. at the end of the day, when i go, i go big 😛

Posted by VirgoHero
It doesn't sound like this guy is some stranger. He's someone fairly dear to you and has been for some time.

exactly. i have friends for 10 years that i'm not as close to. it's beyond sex and i know that that seems odd but it just is. so in a way, i think he feels the same way but then when he lays it on thick...in a way that doesn't seem so ha-ha funny...it confuses/worries me.

well this is not a sign thing i asume all women are vindictive a man who thinks like me won't get burn lol.. If you want to tell him bc you think it will make you feel better go a head its your life.. I think it will bring more harm but i could be wrong who knows..

VK - i am so going to need you to read. this has been 3 years in the making. i also said what you just said but you apparently didn't read. there's a part of me that wants to fess up. confession is good for the soul or something like that. but there's another part that knows that revealing this information doesn't simply impact the leo and myself...it impacts the leo-virgo as well.

i've always believed that honesty is the best policy. in this case no, no it's not. so NONE of what you're saying matters as again, i'm not a virgo, i'm not spiteful, i'm not vindictive, i do not hold grudges and yes, i know that's a novel concept for you guys. i didn't set out to hurt the leo. he cheated on me...that sucks. oh well, shit happens. and yeah, i found out he was cheating AFTER the episodes with the virgo so it couldn't have been deliberate 😛

Posted by tubbyscubby
virgoking - not everyone is vindictive and spiteful like your sign.

it's been THREE YEARS! do you not think that i would've hurt the leo a loooooooooooong time ago? i don't hold grudges. if i do a wrong, i fess up. it's how i've always been. i do not keep secrets. i'm an open book. i debated on telling the truth about this scenario but i'm letting it all hang out because if i wanted advice and couldn't get that without fessing up.

so no, i never intended to hurt the leo just like i never intended to befriend or sleep with the virgo. shit happens. at the end of the day, when i go, i go big 😛

Virgos are not by sign vindictive or spiteful, IMO. At least not the ones I know.

I say tell the Leo if you are truly doing it for clarity of conscience. They are blood, it will not ruin them. You said in your above statement that you dont keep secrets, you are an open book but that is exactly what you have done here. If you truly did not intend to hurt the Leo, he will know this. He will feel your sincerity if it's there.

However, ending your post with "when I go, I go big" kinda makes me feel as if VK could be right about your intentions.

disclaimer: ^^^ That is just an observation based on the material provided, so do not take it as a personal attack. It is not meant to be as such. 😉

Posted by tubbyscubby
VK - i am so going to need you to read. this has been 3 years in the making. i also said what you just said but you apparently didn't read. there's a part of me that wants to fess up. confession is good for the soul or something like that. but there's another part that knows that revealing this information doesn't simply impact the leo and myself...it impacts the leo-virgo as well. i've always believed that honesty is the best policy. in this case no, no it's not. so NONE of what you're saying matters as again, i'm not a virgo, i'm not spiteful, i'm not vindictive, i do not hold grudges and yes, i know that's a novel concept for you guys. i didn't set out to hurt the leo. he cheated on me...that sucks. oh well, shit happens. and yeah, i found out he was cheating AFTER the episodes with the virgo so it couldn't have been deliberate 😛

I hope you know vindictiveness is more of a chart thing than your sun sign.. If your going to use sun signs you taraus have us beat in that department lol..

when i go, i go big - sarcasm, humor. like, when i fuck up, i fuck up in monumental proportions. trust me, nothing i'm bragging about 😛

and virgos hold grudges like nooooooobody's bidness. and spiteful, the ones i know wrote the book. so yes, some of VF friends would've done this intentionally. i did not. if i could change course those nights, i would. so yeah, vindictive may have been a stretch as not all are that way. some, but not enough to earn the vindictive label.

VK - you need to read up kid. scorps are notoriously vindictive. taureans, as their opposites, are not. in fact, i think that's one thing we could learn from scorps. be more "i'll cut yo ass" when it comes to personal slights instead of pushing the anger down into some deep recess.

and yes jason, my virgo bff is a man. when i speak of the ills of virgo, i'm referring to VF 99.9% of the time unless i say VM specifically.

at the end of the day, i only offered this info for context. it's hard explaining the problem without detailing what went down. i can only pray that neither of them uses the internets worth talking about...sheesh!

trust me I know tubby about taraus my brother and my best friend are one and thet always have to get someone back.. point is we all do it, your trying to come off like taraus can't because they are opposites of scorpio and thats far from the truth. Like i said before its more a chart thing.. I hope you do know your more than a taraus lol..

taurus my falt they really need a editing botton here.

dude, google taurus vindictive

google scorpio vindictive

yeah, that's what i thought 😛

now back on topic please

your funny tubby i can't stop laughing at you.. Now i can see why you have all the problems you have in your life.. You are taking things way to personal.. Base off your logic about if i google taurus i want find it lol.. It is like saying google virgo about sex, and we all know sites make it seem like virgos hate sex.. But you and i both know thats not the truth.. I know virgos can be vindictive but once again if I use your logic and google it i won't find it.. Why can't both be, is it because you think i'm saying your vindictive. I don't think you are, but I do think you take things way to personal.

Posted by virgoking
your funny tubby i can't stop laughing at you.. Now i can see why you have all the problems you have in your life.. You are taking things way to personal.. Base off your logic about if i google taurus i want find it lol.. It is like saying google virgo about sex, and we all know sites make it seem like virgos hate sex.. But you and i both know thats not the truth.. I know virgos can be vindictive but once again if I use your logic and google it i won't find it.. Why can't both be, is it because you think i'm saying your vindictive. I don't think you are, but I do think you take things way to personal.

dude, signs have traits. are you unaware of that or is it that you like to reinvent when it suits you. now if you had googled, you'd be shutting it right now so let me shut it for you. persona non grata begins...NOW!

No shit we have traits and if your google virgo you won't find vindictiveness will you..... so yeah your logic is wrong

Posted by Jason2213
Up until now I thought your virgo bff was a female tubby. Sorry. :X

that would be hot..... you're mind totally went there too.....

Posted by Jason2213
Up until now I thought your virgo bff was a female tubby. Sorry. :X

dats harsh u been acting like an asshole lately is everything okay lol.

well, i had been wanting to divulge the truth for a while there but given our convo this morning, i was forced to. my original post had the details but i pulled back. at the end, the tell it like it streak won out which i think is the aries in me?

DO YOU HAVE FEELINGS FOR THIS VIRGO?..that you are trying to bury with guilt?
he is my bestest buddy in the whole wide world. he has a lot of aqua in his chart (i just discovered recently) so he's like a dream when it comes to a male companion. but it's based heavily in friendship, not romantical stuff.

it's been how long since you and the Leo split? Why would you throw your panties at the Leo if he walked in the door?
uhm...2 years i think. it's been a good long while. actually, the virgo and i have been friends for...close to 6 years. my math sucks. dated the leo for 6, broked up for 2. and i'd be sexually weak around the leo because in the bedroom, he was my match. still is. he's not a womanizer to the level that the virgo is. the virgo, what he does, how he does it...aaaamazing. at times i do feel like he's trying to make me jealous. like if i mention ONE guy, he mentions 3 women. i guess i can't take him seriously but at times i feel like he wants me to. he's so odd.

Who do you classify as the bad guy? Why would you want to be with a man (Leo)that treated you this way.
neither. they're both jerks depending upon the situation and being a bad bf isn't enough to make someone bad. a jackass maybe, but not bad. and why? cause obviously at times my vagina doesn't listen to me. she never listened around him.

You don't trust yourself with this guy, so clearly there's something there. Am I right?
that's not it. i need to revise the math. again. the virgo and i did it about 4 years ago, not 3. i think i'm getting my dates right. anyhoo, it's been a long time. this man sleeps nude around me. it's really not that serious. we're the most asexual duo you'd ever wanna meet. YES, he does mess wrestle with me every now and again but after an hour of squeezing my thighs and cheeks to prevent entry, he's sweaty and tired, i'm sweaty and tired and it's sleepy time.

ok VK - one more response and i'm calling it quits with you as i think you're actually being serious. did you read where i said that it was unfair to label virgos as vindictive? of course you didn't. cause you just keep on moving those fingers and absorbing not a damn thing. i appreciate your taking the time to respond but if you're not going to read, you're not worth listening to. it's a waste of my time and yours. so either read and absorb before you post or refrain from posting. it's disrupting the flow of the convo and i'm trying to understand virgo men not virgo boys who don't read too good.

Yes i have read everything you said my point was to show you that taurus are not some saints you were trying to make them as.. We are all have falts, But back to topic he is going to fuck you or try he must like it probably wants more.. But he did the worst miss take that us virgo males do all the time. He let you know way to much about himself. Even if you didn't date his brother he told you way to much and you will never trust him. From his view he thinks bc you know so much about him he thanks you will trust him.. But the truth is you like his brother and will never go there. But he thinks that it was so long ago that he believes you and leo got over it. So he thinks he can move the relastionship to the next level.

wait, i'm not sure if you've already mentioned this but are you still with the aries fellow?

VK - there's a place to critique taureans. it's not on this thread or within this forum. so use those virgoan powers of organization and stay on track kay?

uhm...hmm, yes, there is the aries. good point. actually, i mentioned it to him before that virgo wants me to visit. he asked me where i was going to stay and i said a spare room. i think he grunted. i can't remember. i wasn't really paying attention.

Oh i didn't know you was with a aries than the answer is no.. Aries are to pround to tell you no but trust me he doesn't want you to go.

i'm not a steak, he can't order me 😛

on that note, i must find working girl online. feel like watching a movie while i sorta work.

ok, definitively nonononono

our wrestling is a running joke that was fine when i was single but yes, inappropriate given i'm in a relationship. but yes, the aries would not like very much at all especially given the virgos physical stats. so yes, i hotel it is and for the record, i DO trust myself around him. a naked man playing with me isn't that big a deal. no means no!

i feel like both answers were clear. i'm just long-winded.

but yeah, thanks for the advice and i guess i'm going to have to shell out some money on this trip which SUCKS cause he has 3 extra bedrooms 😛

jason, it's good clean fun. you should try it sometime 😉 just get naked and wrestle with a chick you're attracted to while she's fully clothed. if you keep coming back for like 4 years, then you get what me and my virgo have. the most peculiar shyte EVAH!

Tubbyscubby you my homie but why are you so drawn to difficult situations....No wonder men cheat on you, your a reflection of that kind of treatment. Harsh statement but maybe you need a chin check. I'm not going to judge your indiscretions, your an adult but I can see why your last few relationships have been crap, you thrive and breathe off of shitty crappy men, yes the harsh treatment hurts but your also addicted to it and drawn to it.

It doesn't matter if the virgo is a womanizer, what does matter is your calling a man that clearly wants to have you as a fuck buddy a bff that happens to be your ex boyfriends brother. Why don't you find a new bff one you don't casually have sex with, I have to agree with Jason you are treading on thin ice. and to add to that your in a big blurry illusion about this so called friendship.

Time to grow up....the past is the past, tune your moral compass, stay away from this man, cut ties with your past so you can move on, one indiscretion is a mistake any more than that meant you wanted it to happen and you will do it again.

Maybe I'm being too harsh ):

I don't think this is healthy situation. If he's attracted to you in a sexual way and your not attracted to him and he's making sexual advances then this is way beyond bff for him, he wants sex, that pretty much throws bff out the window. Maybe for you it's a bff situation but for him it's something else....

I say stay home, focus on your Aries, stop seeking drama because you know there will be drama with an Aries male if you go, I'm sure if you and virgo get totally transparent and honest with one another you won't be bff anymore.....

whoa whoa whoa tiki! MEN don't cheat on me. not sure where you conjured that one up?

a man cheated on me. all others i've dated have been faithful.

the leo was a bit of a difficult addiction to overcome. i met him after my mom passed. he shares a bday with her. he reminded me a lot of her in terms of personality. thus i was drawn to him for some very complex reasons that i do not care to go into and are irrelevant to this discussion. the point is, it's over. and for me, unlike some people, over doesn't mean i stop caring for a person. if i cared for you yesterday, i care for you today. i don't hate him or wish ill on him because he was a jackass boyfriend.

VM and i have been friends for years. his sex life has nothing to do with our friendship. this man has been more of a brother to me than my bio brother. i'm not going to detail his worth. i simply offered that womanizing info because the question remains, if he's so great, why don't you want to be with him. well, that's one of the primary reasons. but again, who he diddles has nothing to do with us being friends. and if the man still wants me as a f-buddy after 4 years, he is a good one cause i don't know many men who would lie in wait that long. either that or i was like sooooooooooo good those 3 times that he has yet to get over it 😛

yeah sehkmet, the virgo and leo are dramatically different. the leo was more...commanding and my no never meant no. even when i was sure it did, it didn't. it took a long time for me to get to a point where i could view our relationship/him for what was really going down.

the virgo is obviously very sexual but not in the way that gets me going. the times it happened were purely a whoops! i've drank around him since and the temptation, on my part, just wasn't there.

please keep in mind that i'm a taurus. i'm hella stubborn. i lost my virginity at 24. i've only had 5 sexual intercourse partners. i get why you all don't get it but there's no threat here in the sexual arena. my question was about the man's feelings. not about what orifice his wee would enter.

Posted by tubbyscubby
whoa whoa whoa tiki! MEN don't cheat on me. not sure where you conjured that one up?

a man cheated on me. all others i've dated have been faithful.

the leo was a bit of a difficult addiction to overcome. i met him after my mom passed. he shares a bday with her. he reminded me a lot of her in terms of personality. thus i was drawn to him for some very complex reasons that i do not care to go into and are irrelevant to this discussion. the point is, it's over. and for me, unlike some people, over doesn't mean i stop caring for a person. if i cared for you yesterday, i care for you today. i don't hate him or wish ill on him because he was a jackass boyfriend.

VM and i have been friends for years. his sex life has nothing to do with our friendship. this man has been more of a brother to me than my bio brother. i'm not going to detail his worth. i simply offered that womanizing info because the question remains, if he's so great, why don't you want to be with him. well, that's one of the primary reasons. but again, who he diddles has nothing to do with us being friends. and if the man still wants me as a f-buddy after 4 years, he is a good one cause i don't know many men who would lie in wait that long. either that or i was like sooooooooooo good those 3 times that he has yet to get over it 😛

Sorry I slid through this whole post, I recall you saying a couple of your boyfriends treated you like crap and now your exposing your going to visit a guy to your Aries well that's drama....For the most part I apologize, please accept my apology for my assumption, I was under the assumption cheating was part of that crappy behavior. I'm allowed to be an ass sometimes jeeeesh d:

He's like a brother?? That's questionable, Brothers don't want to screw there friends and wrestle in the nude, I know your going to defend this relationship to the bitter end but I sense your in denial over this relationship, your calling it one thing but for him it's something else. A womanizer will lie in wait for a woman, they love the hardest challenges they can find, it gives them a natural high LOL.

Once sex is introduced it's no longer a platonic friendship, for you maybe but not for him, that is why he's acting weird....let's keep it real

Also taurus women are hugely stubborn, I try not to give taurus women too much advice, the most frustrating experience I have ever had in my life, the truth can be staring you dead in the face and for the most part your stubborn brain will refuse to call it like it is. Now that I think about it, I have a taurus rising, I hate it, I have had to train myself to be less fixated and stubborn and see truth, I used to feel like I had a brick for brains LOL

3 times you had sex with him did i read that right hummmm instresting

oh yeah he wants you, to bad he can't have you. I tell a lot of people, and it is true for me and he reminds me of me in some ways. The relastionship me and the single me are two different people.. Can't really explain it just something comes over me.. You have only see the single side of him. He thinks if he shows you his relastionship side you will change your mind.