VirgoVixxxen
@VirgoVixxxen
15 Years1,000+ Posts
Comments: 0 · Posts: 4949 · Topics: 70
No dating outside of my race...change of heart
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I just find certain races more attractive than others. I will NOT elaborate further into which races I just see some as more visually pleasing than others. I understand that was a totally superficial statement but I do see beauty inside. I just don't want to wake up next to her every morning and shudder.
Posted by OP3CRIMSIN
I just find certain races more attractive than others. I will NOT elaborate further into which races I just see some as more visually pleasing than others. I understand that was a totally superficial statement but I do see beauty inside. I just don't want to wake up next to her every morning and shudder.
I totally understand and no, please don't elaborate because that could be the death of you on this board. LOL.
Everyone's entitled to their preferences and opinions. I never take offense when I hear someone say they are not attracted to Black women because at the end of the day, that's their perogative and it doesn't affect me in any way. However, I know that there are many who do take offense to statements like that regardless of the race and it baffles me everytime.
I totally understand and no, please don't elaborate because that could be the death of you on this board. LOL.
Haha What did you expect me to jump into this thread going, "Heil Hitler!" and "White Power!" and start goose-stepping it around the house? Hell no. I'm gonna be one of the more diplomatic people you've ever met. . . . . . . But Cancers do have small penises. 😛
Posted by THEKingofLibra
I'm white. I've dated black girls, latina girls, asian girls.. Pretty much if they are hot and fun, that's all that matters.
I won't deny that I don't like a ghetto chickenhead throwing ebonics at me, and would never consider dating one.
If that makes me whatever it makes me, then that is who I am 😄
I'm pretty white, but my family is all different colors and mixes, and I grew up surrounded by a variety of people. I've never really dated outside my race, but not for any particular reason. I'm a "it's the person, not the package" kind of gal, so it's just chance I never clicked with someone from a diff race.
There are certain color/size combos I tend to notice first, and for some odd reason I don't care for blond men. Lots of my family (siblings, cousins, aunts, uncles) have married people from other races. I love seeing all the 'culture' at family parties 🙂
Whoops! I just butted right in past the part about wanting to know what virgos think. But....I have a youngish virgo female cousin who is black & white. She just got engaged to a white guy. She's extremely smart and beautiful and funny and the whole family was floored to see the guy she picked. He seems like a good match though.
Black/Hispanic here, and I've never had any hang ups about dating outside my race.
Like Sandy, however, blonde hair doesn't appeal to me, neither does blue eyes--yet I've had 3 ex's with blonde hair/blue eyes. If the personality clicks with me, then that blonde hair and those blue eyes are beautiful.
I don't find myself attracted to Italian men, because the ones I've met and am around on a daily basis are very crude, perverted, loud, foul, and way too straightforward for my tastes. It just turns me off. Not saying all Italian men behave this way, but the ones I've met have.
Never had a problem getting along with those outside of my race though.
Like Sandy, however, blonde hair doesn't appeal to me, neither does blue eyes--yet I've had 3 ex's with blonde hair/blue eyes. If the personality clicks with me, then that blonde hair and those blue eyes are beautiful.
I don't find myself attracted to Italian men, because the ones I've met and am around on a daily basis are very crude, perverted, loud, foul, and way too straightforward for my tastes. It just turns me off. Not saying all Italian men behave this way, but the ones I've met have.
Never had a problem getting along with those outside of my race though.
My immediate family is a hodge podge of interracial dating (including myself). My brother is married to a white woman who is german, my cousin's boyfriend is white, my uncle was married to a white woman, but his current longterm gf is white and she has two adopted daughters from africa. So for me, interracial dating has never been something frowned upon in my family, which is really great for me. I've dated within my race, but I've mostly dated outside of my race. It's never been anything I've thought twice about, it just sort of happens. I used to not care for blonde men either (I was just never too attracted to blondes in general, men and women), but after dating a couple, I do like them now.
Funny enough, with the leo I went on a date with last night, he is the first red head I've been on a date with lol.
Funny enough, with the leo I went on a date with last night, he is the first red head I've been on a date with lol.
Posted by OP3CRIMSINI totally understand and no, please don't elaborate because that could be the death of you on this board. LOL.
Haha What did you expect me to jump into this thread going, "Heil Hitler!" and "White Power!" and start goose-stepping it around the house? Hell no. I'm gonna be one of the more diplomatic people you've ever met. . . . . . . But Cancers do have small penises. 😛click to expand
Back from running my errands.
Why Of course I didn't. What do you take me for? I know you're a little bit smarter than that, OP3. Besides, you seem to try to practice what you preach and LOL @ Cancers having small penises.
Posted by THEKingofLibra
I'm white. I've dated black girls, latina girls, asian girls.. Pretty much if they are hot and fun, that's all that matters.
I won't deny that I don't like a ghetto chickenhead throwing ebonics at me, and would never consider dating one.
If that makes me whatever it makes me, then that is who I am 😄
Being an equal opportunity employer is wonderful and it's your life so you can do as you wish. If there are qualities in a girl that you find undesirable to the point where it makes you not want to date her regardless of skin color, then that is your right as well.
Posted by sandyclaws
Whoops! I just butted right in past the part about wanting to know what virgos think. But....I have a youngish virgo female cousin who is black & white. She just got engaged to a white guy. She's extremely smart and beautiful and funny and the whole family was floored to see the guy she picked. He seems like a good match though.
That's great, sc. Love is love but if it's Black love you want, then that's your business, and if it's White love you want, then that's your business too. LOL.
Posted by catguy
To me it all boils down to being classy, forget race. A girl can be gorgeous but have absolutely no class.
so very true.
Posted by CLCNY30
Black/Hispanic here, and I've never had any hang ups about dating outside my race.
Like Sandy, however, blonde hair doesn't appeal to me, neither does blue eyes--yet I've had 3 ex's with blonde hair/blue eyes. If the personality clicks with me, then that blonde hair and those blue eyes are beautiful.
I don't find myself attracted to Italian men, because the ones I've met and am around on a daily basis are very crude, perverted, loud, foul, and way too straightforward for my tastes. It just turns me off. Not saying all Italian men behave this way, but the ones I've met have.
Never had a problem getting along with those outside of my race though.
Hey,
What is it with dem blonde and blues? Seems like they love you, girl.
Being half Black and Hispanic I would think that many guys would inquire about your ethnicity? What do they usually say when you tell them what you are?
Trying going to Italy. I think you'll have a much different idea of the Italian man. They're absolutely adorable. For the most part, I find Italian men to be very honest and frank and I think some people have a hard time with that. Also, I know so many people who assume that all Italian men are going to be like James Gandolfini (who is a Virgo btw) from the Sopranos. How close minded.
Posted by Candeh15
My immediate family is a hodge podge of interracial dating (including myself). My brother is married to a white woman who is german, my cousin's boyfriend is white, my uncle was married to a white woman, but his current longterm gf is white and she has two adopted daughters from africa. So for me, interracial dating has never been something frowned upon in my family, which is really great for me. I've dated within my race, but I've mostly dated outside of my race. It's never been anything I've thought twice about, it just sort of happens. I used to not care for blonde men either (I was just never too attracted to blondes in general, men and women), but after dating a couple, I do like them now.
Funny enough, with the leo I went on a date with last night, he is the first red head I've been on a date with lol.
Sounds like your family is quite the melting pot. If possible, I think that's the way all families should be. I would like to take a trip to Germany next and explore the culture. My girlfriend who is black is married to a German man and they are just like two peas in a pod.
Redheads are so cute...and sort of few and far in between. Whenever I see one, it's like looking at a rare stone.
Posted by CancerMoon
I don't care what color of skin one has. Also my parents are an 'interracial' couple....normal to me.
That's nice to hear CancerMoon. Parents are the first example to how a child percieves him/herself regardless of the color of their skin.
Posted by catguy
To me it all boils down to being classy, forget race. A girl can be gorgeous but have absolutely no class.
You're abslutely right. Such a smart guy you.
Ha CLC you're a "Blaxican"?
I'm a Beanified Saltine! Nice to meet you. 😛
Posted by VirgoVixxxenPosted by Candeh15
My immediate family is a hodge podge of interracial dating (including myself). My brother is married to a white woman who is german, my cousin's boyfriend is white, my uncle was married to a white woman, but his current longterm gf is white and she has two adopted daughters from africa. So for me, interracial dating has never been something frowned upon in my family, which is really great for me. I've dated within my race, but I've mostly dated outside of my race. It's never been anything I've thought twice about, it just sort of happens. I used to not care for blonde men either (I was just never too attracted to blondes in general, men and women), but after dating a couple, I do like them now.
Funny enough, with the leo I went on a date with last night, he is the first red head I've been on a date with lol.
Sounds like your family is quite the melting pot. If possible, I think that's the way all families should be. I would like to take a trip to Germany next and explore the culture. My girlfriend who is black is married to a German man and they are just like two peas in a pod.
Redheads are so cute...and sort of few and far in between. Whenever I see one, it's like looking at a rare stone.click to expand
I have a large military family, but it's always been kind of a melting pot. The majority of my past boyfriends have been white, some mix of something, and even Muslim. The culture in Germany is very laid back. It's probably one of my favorite places to be outside of the US and I'm probably going back sometime around the summer to see my family.
Posted by VirgoVixxxenPosted by CLCNY30
Black/Hispanic here, and I've never had any hang ups about dating outside my race.
Like Sandy, however, blonde hair doesn't appeal to me, neither does blue eyes--yet I've had 3 ex's with blonde hair/blue eyes. If the personality clicks with me, then that blonde hair and those blue eyes are beautiful.
I don't find myself attracted to Italian men, because the ones I've met and am around on a daily basis are very crude, perverted, loud, foul, and way too straightforward for my tastes. It just turns me off. Not saying all Italian men behave this way, but the ones I've met have.
Never had a problem getting along with those outside of my race though.
Hey,
What is it with dem blonde and blues? Seems like they love you, girl.
Being half Black and Hispanic I would think that many guys would inquire about your ethnicity? What do they usually say when you tell them what you are?
Trying going to Italy. I think you'll have a much different idea of the Italian man. They're absolutely adorable. For the most part, I find Italian men to be very honest and frank and I think some people have a hard time with that. Also, I know so many people who assume that all Italian men are going to be like James Gandolfini (who is a Virgo btw) from the Sopranos. How close minded.click to expand
We all look Black, lol, so when my mother or one of my aunts will suddenly burst out in their speedspanish (as I call it, I can't keep up with that sheit...) people's eyes widen, they just don't expect it.
It does make guy's eyebrows go up a bit, and put more interest in their eyes. They like the term "exotic", and I can that's what they're thinking.
I think I'd be terrified in Italy, lol. But I'm sure I'd be pleasantly surprised. Just that the area I live in is SOAKING WET with Italian guys, but Soprano-like ones--like you said, and I can't f'n stand when they try to talk to me.
I like good people. Bottom line. Don't give two flips if they're white, black, mocha, banana, purple, polka-dotted, striped or other. On the other side of that coin, wanker comes in all flavors of that Skittles rainbow we call the world. And I leave you with the words of Stephen King ( another Virgo ) "A gold foil wrapped dog turd, is still a dog turd."
You were right Catguy in your statement.
You were right Catguy in your statement.
Who is 100% percent of any particular ethnic group anyways ? Even people born in the same country ,most times aren't born in that countrys'same region.IMO it's about compatibility,trust,humor or what ever is on your top ten "gotta haves" list.
If a person is dating outside their race/group,then they have already looked past that particular persons' surface and found something in each others soul that has drawn the other in.Chemistry gets the heart beating faster no matter what package it is in. A flame does have more that one element or color to it.The heart wants what the heart wants.
If a person is dating outside their race/group,then they have already looked past that particular persons' surface and found something in each others soul that has drawn the other in.Chemistry gets the heart beating faster no matter what package it is in. A flame does have more that one element or color to it.The heart wants what the heart wants.
Posted by Prince_Pisces
but Soprano-like ones
Yuck, im sorry LOL!
Lots of old-school Italians in my 'hood, but no thugs.
I have a cousin who is mixed white, black, native american, mexican and she calls herself Heinz 57 🙂
It always seemed to get me the most, or I suppose surprise me the most, but the ones who gave me the most shit for dating outside of my race were those within my race. I was teased about it in high school, so I wouldn't be open about my preferences, or I just didn't date in general.
Posted by 25thDecanPosted by Candeh15
It always seemed to get me the most, or I suppose surprise me the most, but the ones who gave me the most shit for dating outside of my race were those within my race. I was teased about it in high school, so I wouldn't be open about my preferences, or I just didn't date in general.
And....if you look back(you shouldn't look back at them for long because they're worthless...legitimately so, but worthless nonetheless)
you'll see that those people are shallow, bratty, opinionated and should NEVER be counted upon to advise anyone or make decisions for anyone else. They are sick, twisted people who need a good "pushing in".
Now, again....if you have a certain "preference" that's legitimately yours. (not you, Candeh-aka-young'n) Using your preference as a means to "stick it to" those who AREN'T within your preference is shatty. And...you need to admit that you have a fetish. Whether or not your fetish is detrimental...it is a fetish. You're kinky...and a little narrow in regards to the human form.... 🙂oclick to expand
Lol it's not a fetish. I dated everyone and still do, but I went to a predominantly black school, and I was teased for more than just dating outside of my race. I'm not doing it at all to get back at them because I've gone on dates with black men too. Your post just reminded me of it.
And I remember this gemini kid who still keeps in touch with me continued to tease me about it after we had graduated, but he used it as a way to get my attention and not to personally smite me. But still... it wasn't fun lol.
I actually have to agree with you, caribbeangold. Over in Europe, ir dating is never that much of an issue. There is so much of it going on and it's rarely dwelled upon. Now this isn't everywhere in Europe, but EU men in general are just more bold, less questioning, and more accepting no matter what ethnicity they are.
Posted by Candeh15Posted by VirgoVixxxenPosted by Candeh15
I have a large military family, but it's always been kind of a melting pot. The majority of my past boyfriends have been white, some mix of something, and even Muslim. The culture in Germany is very laid back. It's probably one of my favorite places to be outside of the US and I'm probably going back sometime around the summer to see my family.click to expand
I have just a few more countries that I would like to visit, and Germany is definitely one of them.
Posted by CLCNY30Posted by VirgoVixxxenPosted by CLCNY30
We all look Black, lol, so when my mother or one of my aunts will suddenly burst out in their speedspanish (as I call it, I can't keep up with that sheit...) people's eyes widen, they just don't expect it.
It does make guy's eyebrows go up a bit, and put more interest in their eyes. They like the term "exotic", and I can that's what they're thinking.
I think I'd be terrified in Italy, lol. But I'm sure I'd be pleasantly surprised. Just that the area I live in is SOAKING WET with Italian guys, but Soprano-like ones--like you said, and I can't f'n stand when they try to talk to me.click to expand
Do you come from a big family C? If so, are you the baby? I could so see you being everybody's adorable little pet.
I figured 'exotic' would be one of the first things that would come to mind.
Oh you would love Italy and no need to be scared. Everyone's pretty chill and friendly.
Posted by venusianbull
I like good people. Bottom line. Don't give two flips if they're white, black, mocha, banana, purple, polka-dotted, striped or other. On the other side of that coin, wanker comes in all flavors of that Skittles rainbow we call the world. And I leave you with the words of Stephen King ( another Virgo ) "A gold foil wrapped dog turd, is still a dog turd."
You were right Catguy in your statement.
I could get with that. A good soul has no color.
Posted by Prince_Pisces
I've only been attracted to whites and latins 🙂 Never seen anyone who was black or asian that I really thought was attractive lol!
My favorite little Pisces never fails to crack me the hell up. Thanks for your honesty, PP. Isn't it nice to be able to express yourself freely without being attacked?
Exactly. Oh dear, you've more melanin than I naturally, I am afraid I just couldn't possibly...*dramatic swoon on fainting couch* GTFO with that nonsense. People are people. My 2 cents. Cha-ching.
Posted by THEKingofLibra
I'm white. I've dated black girls, latina girls, asian girls.. Pretty much if they are hot and fun, that's all that matters.
Hot is hot.
Attractive is attractive.
Stupid is stupid.
Ignorant is ignorant.
Though race doesn't matter to me, I don't think I'll ever date a jewish girl. None where I live anyway.
Posted by CajunspiritPosted by THEKingofLibra
I'm white. I've dated black girls, latina girls, asian girls.. Pretty much if they are hot and fun, that's all that matters.
Hot is hot.
Attractive is attractive.
Stupid is stupid.
Ignorant is ignorant.
Though race doesn't matter to me, I don't think I'll ever date a jewish girl. None where I live anyway.click to expand
😢
Posted by VulcanLass
Who is 100% percent of any particular ethnic group anyways ? Even people born in the same country ,most times aren't born in that countrys'same region.IMO it's about compatibility,trust,humor or what ever is on your top ten "gotta haves" list.
If a person is dating outside their race/group,then they have already looked past that particular persons' surface and found something in each others soul that has drawn the other in.Chemistry gets the heart beating faster no matter what package it is in. A flame does have more that one element or color to it.The heart wants what the heart wants.
I couldn't agree more VL and that's why I asked the question. While many of us may have ethnic preferences as far as who we date/marry, the power of love & chemistry should never be underestimated.
Posted by 25thDecan
I USED to be on some false-afrocentric/black power thing....but then I realized...most of the women who've shatted on me in life, used me, abused me and called me ugly from a very young age were black. One of the first women who EVER called me attractive was white...when I was 13 and she was 12.
Here at home I was on some "I guess, most "sistas" aren't attracted to me"....it was always "he's ok...just seems to have no edge(till they saw me perform or till I opened my mouth)....."
but I wised up....
if I like you I like you. I'm black(mostly...well...relatively speaking) and that's NOT a problem, or a bad thing. If it is a problem or a bad thing for any woman I run into....she's the problem. Not to mention, she's dumb...human genome, anyone?
Physically speaking there's always been a mutual attraction between me and latin women throughout my life....though there are a good many in Houston who are...you know....like other people....racist. LMAO...it's funny when I run into those types and fit their own stereotypes of "bad people"...lmao.
I am attracted to attractive women. If I am not your preference, I do not care. If you're honest enough to tell me, then fine. It would behoove you to move on and not make me your "get to know the black man" project.
To be honest, these are the women who've acted like...well....bitches...towards me and I've deleted them...liars, game players and flaky broads:
Pisces- numero uno.
Scorpio- ugh
ONE scorp-sag cusp- why try and play me AFTER introducing me to your boyfriend? LMAO
Leo- very good liar....just messed up by lying to me
Another scorpio- triple ugh
Aquarius- Jan 26th....flaky, why even talk to me? Ha!
Aquarius- Jan 28th...flaky, liar, and even blogs about me on fb while she's STILL in a relationship with her man....LMAO
Libra- deleted
Libra- deleted- cute latina....very good liar....not good when you know mutual people/old professors....confirmed...deleted
Sagittarius- moved away to Georgia...cute blonde I was getting to know. HILARIOUS!We had a blast from time to time..
Sagittarius- blonde, portuguese descent....coke-head...glad I didn't sleep with her....
My goal has always been to marry a Black man. As stated in my initial post, Black men are simply my preference. I do find men of other races highly attractive and posessing qualities that I want in my partner and I did go through a Wh
Continued
White and Latin phase at one time but for some reason, it always comes back to the brothers. Perhaps like you at one time, I too am on some ole afrocentric/black power thing (subconsciously maybe).
White and Latin phase at one time but for some reason, it always comes back to the brothers. Perhaps like you at one time, I too am on some ole afrocentric/black power thing (subconsciously maybe).
@Decan
I don't think that you should allow those negative experiences with Black women to make you defensive or affect your self-esteem in anyway (not saying that they do) and try to keep in mind that they don't speak for all Black women but unfortunately, you just happened upon a bunch some bad experiences with women who just happen to be Black. Also, personality and talent (they're like makeup) can do wonders for enhancing someone's beauty in the eyes of others so I totally understand what you mean when you say that once you opened your mouth or when they saw you play or discovered that you had edge, they began to see you in a more attractive light. I think it happens to the best of us.
I don't think that you should allow those negative experiences with Black women to make you defensive or affect your self-esteem in anyway (not saying that they do) and try to keep in mind that they don't speak for all Black women but unfortunately, you just happened upon a bunch some bad experiences with women who just happen to be Black. Also, personality and talent (they're like makeup) can do wonders for enhancing someone's beauty in the eyes of others so I totally understand what you mean when you say that once you opened your mouth or when they saw you play or discovered that you had edge, they began to see you in a more attractive light. I think it happens to the best of us.
Sorry...omit 'a bunch' in fourth line.
Posted by Candeh15
It always seemed to get me the most, or I suppose surprise me the most, but the ones who gave me the most shit for dating outside of my race were those within my race. I was teased about it in high school, so I wouldn't be open about my preferences, or I just didn't date in general.
Sadly, this doesn't surprise me one bit. Although I didn't have an experience like you, my step father of 10 years was Italian and my mother's best friend's husband would always give her hell for it, constantly overlooking the fact that he was a GOOD MAN. period. A GOOD PROVIDER. period. LOVED ME AND MY SISTER LIKE WE WERE HIS OWN. period.
As I got older I realized that my mother's friend's husband was just jealous because my Italian step dad along with my mom helped to give me and my sister a quality of life that my mother's friend's husband couldn't give to his own kids because he sat home on his ass all day meanwhile my step dad worked every single day of his life (he's a retired NYC bus driver now) and really worked hard to keep us happy, stable and content as a family.
Posted by Candeh15
I actually have to agree with you, caribbeangold. Over in Europe, ir dating is never that much of an issue. There is so much of it going on and it's rarely dwelled upon. Now this isn't everywhere in Europe, but EU men in general are just more bold, less questioning, and more accepting no matter what ethnicity they are.
Bingo! That's why I love going there. Europeans don't have the same hang-ups in regards to race as Americans do (nudity included!). For instance, in England, you're not considered a Black or a White Brit. To them, a Brit is a Brit is a Brit.
Posted by caribbeangold
phew...
so glad i was not raised in the us. no offense...
but there are way to many racial hangups and too many issues when it comes to ir dating...
i was blessed for growing up in an environment where race was something people did not hamper on over and over again...
and where ir dating is not even an issue...nationality and culture first...race last
in the us, ive noticed that ir dating is quite an issue
not only for whites but among african-americans
ive noticed a lot of wars going on between african-american men and women...no unity at all
both sides hating on one another...
african-american men have this hatred toward african-american women and vice versa
ive never seen this disease among africans of the same ethnic group, afro-europeans and black latinos...
they are def. more united
What an excellent post CB.
When you speak of the discord between AAM/AAW, I think much of it stems from this popular (and false) idea that Black men don't want Black women when in fact 78% of Black men marry Black women. In many ways society has Black women believing that they are not desired by Black men and in turn, many become bitter, angry and resentful of the Black man. In addition, when some Black women see Black men out in society with women of other races, they automatically become upset and assume that this is what all Black men will be doing some day and then they begin to feel hopeless about their prospects of marrying (or even dating) within their race. In addition, imprisonment, the homosexuals, the DL Phenomenon, the married/in committed relationship ones (whether they are with other Black women or women outside their race)and just the plain ole assholes and jerks do contribute greatly to the very small or quickly depleting pool of Black men that we Black women have to try and hold onto but, for some Black women to assume that most Black men are taken by women of another race is ludicrous and to that I say they have got to do some more reading up on the latest research and studies concerning black relationships/marriages to really get the facts.
Posted by 25thDecan
with the eu...where a woman with african-ancestry will be seen as a woman who ethnically speaking, happens to have african-ancestry instead of being a 'black woman'.
unlike in the us, where she would be seen as a "black woman", as if, she were a member of a species or a category of sorts...get what i mean?
Is ethnicity not some sort of classification or category? Or is this your way of being confused and THINKING that you are quite logical? WTH are YOU TALKING ABOUT?
Nothing...just another generalization.....
I guess I tend to think of black people as people with african ancestry who have been in the US for a few generations or more (i.e. their ancestors brought over as slaves). People that are FOB africans or other countries with dark-skinned people of african ethnicity I tend to think of as being somali or caribbean or wherever they come from etc. Just as I think white is mixed-breed generic american, and pale-skinned people from england or france are english or french.
Really though, I don't think of it that much. People from countries with cool accents are cool, no matter what color. And my family is just my family, not sorted out by color. I remember seeing 4 male cousins walking together. One was ultra-white pale, then my brother, still white, but a little rosier, then another cousin who has a white mom & black dad, light-skinned but still looking of african descent, then his cousin who has two dark-skinned parents and is very dark. It looked like some multi-cultural tolerance ad, but made me smile to have such an awesome family.
Posted by caribbeangoldPosted by 25thDecan
Or perhaps it's because I'm "black" and was born and raised here in the United States.
mmm...wonder the reason you assume that your race has to do with this?
this is what i mean when talking about how some african-americans have racial hangups and inferiority complexes
i was at a supermarket the other day...
at the cheese/meat aisle
i was waiting to get some slices of swiss cheese
i saw some customers coming in taking their numbers and waiting for their turn
a few minutes passed...
then i heard the following, "oh i know what is going on, you are not attending me because you dont see me as a customer but because im black!"
it was an african-american woman who did this. she never took a number...they were going by number order....
she victimized and objectified herself...and used her race along with this
that was very unfortunate and sad to seeclick to expand
Wow, I see scenarios like this all of the time and will be honest and say that I have been guilty of this type of behavior on more than one occassion. I try to dig deep every time to correct this sort of inherent problem and I realize that there is a real self-consciousness that Blacks in America (and other places too) still carry around and maybe it's because we know that racism is still very much alive and kicking and constantly manifesting in a variety of different forms (even with something like being skipped over in a grocery line). I totally understand where you are coming from CB and it's something that many of us still have to work out within ourselves. I think as a people we continue to suffer from the "double consciousness" that W.E.B. Dubois talked about, but at the same time we have not fooled ourselves into thinking that racism has suddenly disappeared just because we are not picking cotton in some White man's field or because we are not bound and shackled by chains.
we latinos, see that we can be black, white, indigenous and even other terms that do not exist in the english language
But you're still grouping by some category "latinos". It's just geographical, not ethnic or skin color. Like "american" can mean everything from native to FOB, of whatever color/race/ethnicity.
But you're still grouping by some category "latinos". It's just geographical, not ethnic or skin color. Like "american" can mean everything from native to FOB, of whatever color/race/ethnicity.
Posted by caribbeangoldPosted by sandyclaws
we latinos, see that we can be black, white, indigenous and even other terms that do not exist in the english language
But you're still grouping by some category "latinos". It's just geographical, not ethnic or skin color.
no, it is beyond geographical...click to expand
My experience doesn't go past my family and neighborhood, so I can't really speak to that. It's a treasure to have cultural cohesion and continuity though.
Posted by VirgoVixxxenPosted by CLCNY30Posted by VirgoVixxxenPosted by CLCNY30
We all look Black, lol, so when my mother or one of my aunts will suddenly burst out in their speedspanish (as I call it, I can't keep up with that sheit...) people's eyes widen, they just don't expect it.
It does make guy's eyebrows go up a bit, and put more interest in their eyes. They like the term "exotic", and I can that's what they're thinking.
I think I'd be terrified in Italy, lol. But I'm sure I'd be pleasantly surprised. Just that the area I live in is SOAKING WET with Italian guys, but Soprano-like ones--like you said, and I can't f'n stand when they try to talk to me.
Do you come from a big family C? If so, are you the baby? I could so see you being everybody's adorable little pet.
I figured 'exotic' would be one of the first things that would come to mind.
Oh you would love Italy and no need to be scared. Everyone's pretty chill and friendly.click to expand
A medium-sized family, I'd say, lol. Step-brothers, and half-siblings, 1 whole sibling. I'm my mother's only girl, though (I was my father's youngest daughter). Nope, never treated like the baby--I was my mother's second-to-youngest, and my father's as well. Everyone just put a lot of responsibility on me, figured I could take it because I wasn't a whiner. Put me in the awkward position of having to find things out on my own that they should have prepared me for, but what are you gonna do?
I've been called exotic-looking. I don't see it, but I'm not gonna disagree with the eyes of the beholder, LOL.
Sounds like I need to add Italy to my list of places to visit.
Posted by VirgoVixxxenPosted by Candeh15
It always seemed to get me the most, or I suppose surprise me the most, but the ones who gave me the most shit for dating outside of my race were those within my race. I was teased about it in high school, so I wouldn't be open about my preferences, or I just didn't date in general.
Sadly, this doesn't surprise me one bit. Although I didn't have an experience like you, my step father of 10 years was Italian and my mother's best friend's husband would always give her hell for it, constantly overlooking the fact that he was a GOOD MAN. period. A GOOD PROVIDER. period. LOVED ME AND MY SISTER LIKE WE WERE HIS OWN. period.
As I got older I realized that my mother's friend's husband was just jealous because my Italian step dad along with my mom helped to give me and my sister a quality of life that my mother's friend's husband couldn't give to his own kids because he sat home on his ass all day meanwhile my step dad worked every single day of his life (he's a retired NYC bus driver now) and really worked hard to keep us happy, stable and content as a family.click to expand
Oh wow! I'm so happy he stepped into place and was the father that so many young children deserve--what a blessing!
Yes, I see it as jealousy.
It's weird--the area I live in, I will see interacial couples sometimes, and if it's a Black woman with a White man, I'll start to smile until I notice she looks venemous...like she's challenging me to say something, so the smile never appears. I understand where she's coming from though, probably catch a lot of snide remarks, and racist glares, and she sees me looking and thinks I'll do the same. Sometimes, I want to smile anyway, but I just don't want any trouble so I keep it moving.
It's really hard for some people. I've just never looked around to see other people's expression when I was dating a White man, I couldn't have cared less.
It's funny though because I don't really think of myself or a lot of people in terms of their race. I used to get shit for that because some of my black friends would be like, "do you not care that you're black?" "do you not like black people?" ect ect. And I'd just tell them no, it's never been a huge issue for me. I think of myself as not only being black, but like a million other things. Or mainly... I just think of myself as a girl/woman/ect.
I've dealt with guys who've said derogatory things to me, or they made some comment about me and tagged "black" in front of woman, and I would get upset because I just wanted to be known for something because I'm a woman... not just because I'm black.
I've dealt with guys who've said derogatory things to me, or they made some comment about me and tagged "black" in front of woman, and I would get upset because I just wanted to be known for something because I'm a woman... not just because I'm black.
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