Nekamarie83
@Nekamarie83
15 Years
Comments: 0 · Posts: 70 · Topics: 1
No dating outside of my race...change of heart (Page 2)
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Posted by 25thDecanPosted by VirgoVixxxenPosted by Candeh15
Please tell me...what men are more bold? And is this a "cultural significance" or is this simply where you were when you were there? Because here's my point...are "they" not legitimate to NOT see the same thing you do in regards to IR dating? Please answer truthfully, because I'm curious to know why it is that even though "culture" HERE in the states is different, why would the "way it is over there" be more attainable...seeing as how most of the "culture" here is derived from "there".
And this isn't in reference to that little eight-legged THING I just had an argument with....that smile is STILL on ol' 25's face......click to expand
I get you Decan and yes much of the culture in America is derived from Europe. However, while Black slaves have pretty much been in every country the world over, slavery because of its significance and history in America, didn't have the same effect on other countries the way that it did here and I think that we've had the hardest time getting past the idea of race mixing more so than the rest.
Much like America, Europe is a great melting pot with a huge population of many cultural groups - African, West Indian, and Asian, just to name a few, and I believe that Great Britain has the highest number of interracial couples to date.
Racism does exist in Europe but on other levels (employment, housing, etc) and the fact of the matter is that they absolutely do have a more relaxed view on ir dating/marriages and it's not just where I was in Europe (because I've been to quite a few places in Europe) it's pretty much just the way it is across the board.
@Decan
African and Carribean women date and marry white men all of the time and vice versa. When you walk down the streets of Europe it is nothing to see WM/BW or BW/WM pairings and trust when I say that NO ONE is doing a triple take (the way that many still do here in America). The male African descendents are quite sought after for relationships/marriages by White women and the only women who can sometimes take issue with this are American Black women.
I know you haven't been there but believe that I don't for one moment think that you're not having been to Europe puts you at a disadvantage to understanding what CB and I are simply trying to convey. However, there is something aboutd physically being in an environment that gives you a better perspective and opens more doors of enlightenment to the attitudes and behaviors of different cultures, groups and peoples that you otherwise may not have known if you have never been there.
African and Carribean women date and marry white men all of the time and vice versa. When you walk down the streets of Europe it is nothing to see WM/BW or BW/WM pairings and trust when I say that NO ONE is doing a triple take (the way that many still do here in America). The male African descendents are quite sought after for relationships/marriages by White women and the only women who can sometimes take issue with this are American Black women.
I know you haven't been there but believe that I don't for one moment think that you're not having been to Europe puts you at a disadvantage to understanding what CB and I are simply trying to convey. However, there is something aboutd physically being in an environment that gives you a better perspective and opens more doors of enlightenment to the attitudes and behaviors of different cultures, groups and peoples that you otherwise may not have known if you have never been there.
Posted by caribbeangoldPosted by VirgoVixxxen
I think as a people we continue to suffer from the "double consciousness" that W.E.B. Dubois talked about, but at the same time we have not fooled ourselves into thinking that racism has suddenly disappeared just because we are not picking cotton in some White man's field or because we are not bound and shackled by chains.
i agree with you
it is sad...
as in, in spite that african-americans have been here for such a long time
your americanness (not a word, i know) is still questioned...
it is as if you are not american yet
and the real americans are a certain group of people...
click to expand
Oh absolutely. We are the 'subhumans'. *rolls eyes* We were good enough to build THEIR America but 'WE' ARE NOT America?
Education is key and in the words of Langston Hughes..."I Too Am America".
Posted by 69virgo
Black women are my #1 draft picks but i have dated my different races....
Hey there,
Now how did I know you were an equal opportunity employer too? LOL. Oh and did I mention that I love my brothers? Yes I does!
Posted by Nekamarie83Posted by catguy
To me it all boils down to being classy, forget race. A girl can be gorgeous but have absolutely no class.
Posted by venusianbull
I like good people. Bottom line. Don't give two flips if they're white, black, mocha, banana, purple, polka-dotted, striped or other. On the other side of that coin, wanker comes in all flavors of that Skittles rainbow we call the world. And I leave you with the words of Stephen King ( another Virgo ) "A gold foil wrapped dog turd, is still a dog turd."
You were right Catguy in your statement.
Posted by Cajunspirit
Hot is hot.
Attractive is attractive.
Stupid is stupid.
Ignorant is ignorant.
Though race doesn't matter to me, I don't think I'll ever date a jewish girl. None where I live anyway.
all of these. however, i would date a jewish guy. here's hoping he looks like adam goldberg. ^_^click to expand
Hey Nek!
LOL...Jewish guys are hot.
I'm White Latino.
I don't date black women or Asians.
I am typically unattracted to Asian women physically.
I am almost always unattracted to Black women, and if not, I am repelled culturally.
I don't date for some one night stands, I'm serious about all my girl friends.
So the fact that my family would never be okay with me dating a Black girl, and a long dark history growing up in a predominantly Black area pretty much killed the 'interracial' thing before it ever started.
I don't date meztiza, predominantly Indian, for some reason as Asians.
I don't honkey-tonk girls for similar reasons to black girls.
I mostly date Latin and Euro-American white girls... the majority of my girlfriend have been Anglo-Saxon and Eastern European.
I don't date black women or Asians.
I am typically unattracted to Asian women physically.
I am almost always unattracted to Black women, and if not, I am repelled culturally.
I don't date for some one night stands, I'm serious about all my girl friends.
So the fact that my family would never be okay with me dating a Black girl, and a long dark history growing up in a predominantly Black area pretty much killed the 'interracial' thing before it ever started.
I don't date meztiza, predominantly Indian, for some reason as Asians.
I don't honkey-tonk girls for similar reasons to black girls.
I mostly date Latin and Euro-American white girls... the majority of my girlfriend have been Anglo-Saxon and Eastern European.
Posted by 25thDecan
Im gonna say this one last time...there is no "small" or "depleting" pool of "eligible" black men in the United States for "eligible" black women to date. To think so...is disgusting.....I'll give you one falsehood to show any of you here how quickly generalizations become harmful.....most jails in the US do not and never have held close to 100,000 prisoners. African Americans make up 12-13% of the United States approximate population of 300 million.....think about that....."eligibility"....I think some people are simply louder than others when it comes to "who's eligible" and "who's willing"......just saying.....
The myth is that Black men are marrying non-Black women at a higher percentage than their own. That the majority of the spouses of Black men are non-Black women. This is a bold-faced lie as 78% of Black men marry Black women. The idea is that when we see one Black man with a non-Black woman, then they all must be.
The truth is that as recent as 2009, there are 1.8 million more Black women than there are Black men (and this is according to the U.S. Census) and if you factor in incarceration (and yes the actual amount of Black men who are in prison is a LOT LESS than what society makes it seem especially since in general, Blacks make up a very small portion of the population and the majority of Blacks in the population are Black women) homosexuality, the DL Phenomenon, death and the already married Black men, etc, it does leave a very small pool of eligible Black men in the U.S. for Black women. If the number of Black women to Black men between the ages of 24 and 35 is at such a disproportionate level, then where do we find our Black husbands? And trust that we want them but clearly (and sadly), there just aren't enough to go around because the numbers don't lie.
Posted by ellessque
What is white latino?
I apologize for my ignorance. I really don't have a clue.
I want to know that too.
Posted by Candeh15
Though race doesn't matter to me, I don't think I'll ever date a jewish girl. None where I live anyway.
😢
What's with the frown?
Posted by CajunspiritPosted by Candeh15
Though race doesn't matter to me, I don't think I'll ever date a jewish girl. None where I live anyway.
😢
What's with the frown?
click to expand
Because I'm Jewish (well converting, but I'm almost done) lol.
Posted by ellessque
VirgoVixxxen,
I believe those exaggerated statistics are thrown around to create friction and discontent, once again, amongst races.
If we all looked past color, this world and the US, specifically, would be a lot tougher for the powers to be to "manage". We'd finally get our heads out of our asses and demand a better quality of life and wouldn't settle for the bullshit we settle for today.
I disagree. I do not think that numbers like these (even if they are exaggerated) are being thrown around to create discord between races. The data provided by the U.S. Census might not be completely on the mark but it's no secret that there is a disproportionate level of Black women to Black men. Check the studies. Plenty of reliable ones are out there.
As for looking past color, tell that to the racists. I am not one. I do prefer Black men but if someone of another race comes along and I happen to find love with him, I'm not going to think twice.
Posted by ellessque
Personally I know a lot of interracial couples. Across all races and genders, not just black and white.
They don't go out of their way to point out the fact that black men aren't marrying black women or white women aren't marrying white men.
They usually have other issues to tend to or take notice of.
It seems to me that people who typically date exculsively in their race have more of an issue with it and bring it to peoples attention. Why? I'm not sure. I would say it's subconscious racism. Maybe even that is too harsh. Maybe they see it still as some sort of taboo in some way or "wrong".
It amuses me when people actually say one race is "stealing" away another races marriage potential. Nobody is stealing anyone away from anyone else. It's just love and attraction. It only becomes about race when people go out of their way to bring that to others attention.
I've never stole anyone away from anyone else. We had a mutual attraction to each other, not our skin tone. And who is to say that I would even be attracted to the person who said I was stolen?
It will progressively get better. My two interracial sons don't even give race a second thought when dating. Unless, of course, the parents of their love interest are idiots.
I know quite a few interracial couples myself...your point?
Well this is a thread where we are discussing many different things and like many threads on dxp, it took a different avenue. My initial response in reference to BM/BW was directed at the poster CB for an observation that she made in regards to wars between BM/BW, and so what? It's a thread to discuss these topics is it not? Who is anyone to decide what we discuss? Is this not why dxp is here? And because we are here discussing this we don't have other issues or things to take notice of?
Who mentioned anyone stealing anyone away? Who said anything about race stealing? Certainly not I. I simply stated that there is this popular idea that many Black women think that women of other races are taking all of the Black men and even noted more than one time that it is a MYTH. Please re-read if you must.
Posted by VirgoVixxxen
Posted by Nekamarie83
all of these. however, i would date a jewish guy. here's hoping he looks like adam goldberg. ^_^
Hey Nek!
LOL...Jewish guys are hot.click to expand
hello VV!! hope you've been doing well!! 🙂
"It seems to me that people who typically date exculsively in their race have more of an issue with it and bring it to peoples attention. Why? I'm not sure. I would say it's subconscious racism. Maybe even that is too harsh. Maybe they see it still as some sort of taboo in some way or "wrong".
It is possible for a person of a particular race to want to only date/marry within that race without it being some sort of subconscious racism as you say. Either way, at the end of the day, it is the person's perogative.
It is possible for a person of a particular race to want to only date/marry within that race without it being some sort of subconscious racism as you say. Either way, at the end of the day, it is the person's perogative.
Posted by Nekamarie83Posted by VirgoVixxxen
Posted by Nekamarie83
all of these. however, i would date a jewish guy. here's hoping he looks like adam goldberg. ^_^
Hey Nek!
LOL...Jewish guys are hot.
hello VV!! hope you've been doing well!! 🙂click to expand
Hey there Nek! I have and hope you're doing the same as well. Happy Valentine's Day!!!!!
Posted by VirgoVixxxen
Hey there Nek! I have and hope you're doing the same as well. Happy Valentine's Day!!!!!
yes thank you.
now on to important matters-- tell me more about where these hot jewish men are... hahah!! ^_^
Posted by VirgoVixxxenoh i forgot-- happy valentine's day to you as well!!
Hey there Nek! I have and hope you're doing the same as well. Happy Valentine's Day!!!!!
Posted by Nekamarie83Posted by VirgoVixxxen
Hey there Nek! I have and hope you're doing the same as well. Happy Valentine's Day!!!!!
yes thank you.
now on to important matters-- tell me more about where these hot jewish men are... hahah!! ^_^click to expand
HAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAA...the ones I knew were so cute and unassuming. It's like they were oblivious to any girl who had a crush. LOL.
So what's going on Nek? You work with one that you have your eye on or something?
Posted by caribbeangoldPosted by VirgoVixxxenPosted by ellessque
What is white latino?
I apologize for my ignorance. I really don't have a clue.
I want to know that too.
usually, a light-skinned latino...white skin color...usually of european descent or of both european and indigenous descent
some who are clearly mestizos in background (do have indigenous roots) identify as being white nevertheless...
funny when some white latinos come to the usa or europe and want to show-off as being white and cling to european ancestry and people dont accept them as being white but latino...lol
george lopez, the comedian has a skit on closet mexicans...these are the mexicans and other latinos who like to say..."im mexican BUT, my greatgranddad/mom and so on is french, italian". they tend to want to show-off their europeaness way too much...or emphasize european ancestry too much...
this is usually a result of the belief that the lighter/european, the better it is...they are ashamed of their indigenous or african roots for the most part...
mestizo: indian and white
mulatto: black and white
and then, there are more terms....marrones, colocos...etc
look at this link: http://www.zonalatina.com/Zldata55.htm<BR> it has a bunch of terms for one skin shade...
for example, in the caribbean, a native white latin american person can be a blanco, claro, trigueno..and so on...
a black person can be: negra, mulata, morena, parda, india oscura, prieta...and so onclick to expand
Thank you for this, CB. It makes much sense to me now and it reminds me of some of the things that people in my race say (i.e. I'm Cherokee Indian) in order to gain more acceptance or appear more appealing. I love George Lopez btw. I think he's one of the most informed and intelligent comedians around.
Well I'm white and have pretty much dated white people....I made a decision not to date white people anymore after being abused by a few for whatever reasons they had.Then other people out of whites started doing the same and that's when I decided not to date anymore at all abuse is something I don't like and care to have nothing to with.Oh wait I made a little mis stake when I started getting abused by a white person it was shortly after that another race started.
I didn't mean to forget that and I was pregnant when the second started...The is I did sometimes find interest in other races of people it's just that I really try to have no interest in any anymore because of all those situations.I also have mixed family members that some people don't even know about since they don't really know my whole family. That's the reason I found this to be an interesting subject and gald someone find the time to post it.
I didn't mean to forget that and I was pregnant when the second started...The is I did sometimes find interest in other races of people it's just that I really try to have no interest in any anymore because of all those situations.I also have mixed family members that some people don't even know about since they don't really know my whole family. That's the reason I found this to be an interesting subject and gald someone find the time to post it.
Posted by Heatherhap
Well I'm white and have pretty much dated white people....I made a decision not to date white people anymore after being abused by a few for whatever reasons they had.Then other people out of whites started doing the same and that's when I decided not to date anymore at all abuse is something I don't like and care to have nothing to with.Oh wait I made a little mis stake when I started getting abused by a white person it was shortly after that another race started.
I didn't mean to forget that and I was pregnant when the second started...The is I did sometimes find interest in other races of people it's just that I really try to have no interest in any anymore because of all those situations.I also have mixed family members that some people don't even know about since they don't really know my whole family. That's the reason I found this to be an interesting subject and gald someone find the time to post it.
Thank you for sharing Heatherhap and I'm sorry about what happened to you. Your abusive situations with men of different races just further exemplifies that there are assholes and bad people in every race, not just one or a few.
I hope that you can move on from your past one day and find love again with someone who is healthy and treats you with the respect that you deserve.
Posted by Heatherhap
Well I'm white and have pretty much dated white people....I made a decision not to date white people anymore after being abused by a few for whatever reasons they had.Then other people out of whites started doing the same and that's when I decided not to date anymore at all abuse is something I don't like and care to have nothing to with.Oh wait I made a little mis stake when I started getting abused by a white person it was shortly after that another race started.
I didn't mean to forget that and I was pregnant when the second started...The is I did sometimes find interest in other races of people it's just that I really try to have no interest in any anymore because of all those situations.I also have mixed family members that some people don't even know about since they don't really know my whole family. That's the reason I found this to be an interesting subject and gald someone find the time to post it.
Yikes, sorry to hear about all the abuse you've been through.
But yeah, the giving of abuse is colorblind--really comes down to the individual. You have to keep people at arms length until they give you reason to draw them closer; please be careful from here on, but don't block out the people who would treat you wonderfully 😢
I loved an african guy for a long time (I am white), but he didn't like white people or white women and told me so many times. I felt so crushed by this and chased him for a long time, because I couldn't understand why he didn't love me for what I am like inside and was so superficial. It's kind of terribly sad, but even now I feel like if I was only black, he would have loved me. I don't blame him, it's his upbringing and culture, but I still wish for the sake of that relationship that I had been black for him to feel I was someone he could be with.
Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaa I am crying thinking about it.
Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaa I am crying thinking about it.
Posted by PiscesLeoAquarius
I loved an african guy for a long time (I am white), but he didn't like white people or white women and told me so many times. I felt so crushed by this and chased him for a long time, because I couldn't understand why he didn't love me for what I am like inside and was so superficial. It's kind of terribly sad, but even now I feel like if I was only black, he would have loved me. I don't blame him, it's his upbringing and culture, but I still wish for the sake of that relationship that I had been black for him to feel I was someone he could be with.
Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaa I am crying thinking about it.
Yikes. His loss for not being able to look past something as trivial as skin color. Jeez...
Posted by CLCNY30Posted by VirgoVixxxenPosted by CLCNY30Posted by VirgoVixxxenPosted by CLCNY30
A medium-sized family, I'd say, lol. Step-brothers, and half-siblings, 1 whole sibling. I'm my mother's only girl, though (I was my father's youngest daughter). Nope, never treated like the baby--I was my mother's second-to-youngest, and my father's as well. Everyone just put a lot of responsibility on me, figured I could take it because I wasn't a whiner. Put me in the awkward position of having to find things out on my own that they should have prepared me for, but what are you gonna do?
I've been called exotic-looking. I don't see it, but I'm not gonna disagree with the eyes of the beholder, LOL.
Sounds like I need to add Italy to my list of places to visit.click to expand
The only girl? I've always wanted a brother or two but mom stopped at number two and we're both girls.
No, don't disagree. Exotic is good girl.
Oh yes, put Italy on your map. I promise you won't be disappointed.
Posted by CLCNY30Posted by PiscesLeoAquarius
I loved an african guy for a long time (I am white), but he didn't like white people or white women and told me so many times. I felt so crushed by this and chased him for a long time, because I couldn't understand why he didn't love me for what I am like inside and was so superficial. It's kind of terribly sad, but even now I feel like if I was only black, he would have loved me. I don't blame him, it's his upbringing and culture, but I still wish for the sake of that relationship that I had been black for him to feel I was someone he could be with.
Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaa I am crying thinking about it.
Yikes. His loss for not being able to look past something as trivial as skin color. Jeez...click to expand
Yeah it is so sad. I think he was very traditional and said he didn't trust white people, which I guess can be understandable. When we would hang out together he was always checking out black women. I think black women are stunningly beautiful, but so are all women. I wish he had been able to see that. Whenever I did something he didn't like, he would accuse me of being "white" and "Western."
Posted by PiscesLeoAquariusPosted by CLCNY30Posted by PiscesLeoAquarius
I loved an african guy for a long time (I am white), but he didn't like white people or white women and told me so many times. I felt so crushed by this and chased him for a long time, because I couldn't understand why he didn't love me for what I am like inside and was so superficial. It's kind of terribly sad, but even now I feel like if I was only black, he would have loved me. I don't blame him, it's his upbringing and culture, but I still wish for the sake of that relationship that I had been black for him to feel I was someone he could be with.
Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaa I am crying thinking about it.
Yikes. His loss for not being able to look past something as trivial as skin color. Jeez...
Yeah it is so sad. I think he was very traditional and said he didn't trust white people, which I guess can be understandable. When we would hang out together he was always checking out black women. I think black women are stunningly beautiful, but so are all women. I wish he had been able to see that. Whenever I did something he didn't like, he would accuse me of being "white" and "Western."click to expand
I know it hurts, but look at it this way: better you have found out his mentality before getting heavily invested than AFTER, you know?
Posted by ellessque
stealing vs taking
semantics?
I didn't realize I wasn't allowed to speak my opinion. my bad.
You are absolutely allowed to speak your opinion ellesque but the problem is that you came off like you had an ax to grind...why?
All I'm saying is don't put words in my mouth because never once did I say that women of other races were stealing (or taking) Black men away. I NEVER said that. What I said was that it's a pervasive idea amongst many Black women that most Black men are with non-Black women and it is NOT true. Furthermore, I DO NOT and have never had a single problem with any Black man who chooses to date/marry outside of his race because again, that is his perogative.
I think VV knows my stance. Thank you for not judging me. Again I have my reasons.
Posted by PiscesLeoAquarius
I loved an african guy for a long time (I am white), but he didn't like white people or white women and told me so many times. I felt so crushed by this and chased him for a long time, because I couldn't understand why he didn't love me for what I am like inside and was so superficial. It's kind of terribly sad, but even now I feel like if I was only black, he would have loved me. I don't blame him, it's his upbringing and culture, but I still wish for the sake of that relationship that I had been black for him to feel I was someone he could be with.
Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaa I am crying thinking about it.
I'm sorry to hear this PLA. It is so painful when someone you love can't love you back simply because of the color of your skin. How long ago was this might I ask?
Posted by VirgoVixxxenPosted by PiscesLeoAquarius
I loved an african guy for a long time (I am white), but he didn't like white people or white women and told me so many times. I felt so crushed by this and chased him for a long time, because I couldn't understand why he didn't love me for what I am like inside and was so superficial. It's kind of terribly sad, but even now I feel like if I was only black, he would have loved me. I don't blame him, it's his upbringing and culture, but I still wish for the sake of that relationship that I had been black for him to feel I was someone he could be with.
Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaa I am crying thinking about it.
I'm sorry to hear this PLA. It is so painful when someone you love can't love you back simply because of the color of your skin. How long ago was this might I ask?click to expand
This was about one year ago when he kept saying this, but it feels like yesterday. I try to date other people since, but I only love him. I do understand where he's coming from because a lot of who we are is our upbringing, but it's still painful.
Holy crap PLA you wrote that you wish you had been black for the sake of the relationship so he would be comfortable loving you. I woul dnever change myself or wish I was someone different. You better hope P-Angel doesn't come in here and read that or you would get two or three pages of brow-beating 😉
Posted by OP3CRIMSIN
I think VV knows my stance. Thank you for not judging me. Again I have my reasons.
Oh absolutely and I have not judged you and will not. If you take a look, I have not judged one single person in this thread and I expect to be treated the same (fat fucking chance I see). I have never shied away from discussing race and allowing others to express themselves freely even if that means that I have to hear unflattering thoughts/ideas about my own. For once I wish we could just have a conversation about some of these important and touchy subjects without people bringing all the attitude, projection and bullshit. What many don't realize is that people can actually heal and teach others through these types of conversations but many would rather tell someone to fuck off or shut the fuck up or skew words because of their own insecurities. Well to that I say then get the fuck out of the kitchen if you can't handle the heat.
Posted by OP3CRIMSIN
Holy crap PLA you wrote that you wish you had been black for the sake of the relationship so he would be comfortable loving you. I woul dnever change myself or wish I was someone different. You better hope P-Angel doesn't come in here and read that or you would get two or three pages of brow-beating 😉
hehe so true, but you know the truth is strange. I have had a long time to think about it and I really feel that way. I love who I am, but my love for him was and is so strong, I would have sacrificed or changed anything to be with him. I could easily say the opposite, but it wouldn't be my true core feelings.
Posted by ellessque
I've had relationships with African and Caribbean men.
May I ask what country he was from? That may make all the difference in the world.
He was born and lived for his first 37 years in East Africa, then he moved to the US after that and has lived there for a few years now.
Posted by PiscesLeoAquariusPosted by OP3CRIMSIN
Holy crap PLA you wrote that you wish you had been black for the sake of the relationship so he would be comfortable loving you. I woul dnever change myself or wish I was someone different. You better hope P-Angel doesn't come in here and read that or you would get two or three pages of brow-beating 😉
hehe so true, but you know the truth is strange. I have had a long time to think about it and I really feel that way. I love who I am, but my love for him was and is so strong, I would have sacrificed or changed anything to be with him. I could easily say the opposite, but it wouldn't be my true core feelings.click to expand
I think it's not about wanting to change myself, so much as wishing I was what he felt he could love. He once said to me, he had fallen for me, but he could never be with me seriously or marry me cause I wasn't African. Even amongst our friends, he would not talk to the white people, but was really friendly with the other black people. I do understand.
Posted by PiscesLeoAquariusPosted by ellessque
Kenya?
Yep!click to expand
To this day it's still the most traumatising thing that has ever happened to me. After that, I felt just empty.
I am sorry, I didn't mean to hijack the thread!
Posted by VirgoVixxxen
HAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAA...the ones I knew were so cute and unassuming. It's like they were oblivious to any girl who had a crush. LOL.
So what's going on Nek? You work with one that you have your eye on or something?
Oh no. I WISH!! The guy I'm stalk-- er crushing on is a sweet Brit. *le sigh* I'll update THAT saga when the time comes though. 🙂
Last time I saw a gathering of handsome Jewish fellows, I was in the NYC diamond district. No offense-- true story.
I was half breaking my own neck trying to see as many guys as I could. Hahah!!
Posted by OP3CRIMSIN
Holy crap PLA you wrote that you wish you had been black for the sake of the relationship so he would be comfortable loving you. I woul dnever change myself or wish I was someone different. You better hope P-Angel doesn't come in here and read that or you would get two or three pages of brow-beating 😉
Please do not summon the devil?
Thx.
Posted by ellessquePosted by VirgoVixxxenPosted by ellessque
stealing vs taking
semantics?
I didn't realize I wasn't allowed to speak my opinion. my bad.
You are absolutely allowed to speak your opinion ellesque but the problem is that you came off like you had an ax to grind...why?
All I'm saying is don't put words in my mouth because never once did I say that women of other races were stealing (or taking) Black men away. I NEVER said that. What I said was that it's a pervasive idea amongst many Black women that most Black men are with non-Black women and it is NOT true. Furthermore, I DO NOT and have never had a single problem with any Black man who chooses to date/marry outside of his race because again, that is his perogative.
I never pointed out you had a problem with it. You chose to get defensive. I'm still unsure why.click to expand
No, no, no, ellesque. I value your opinion but I won't have anyone playing the defensive card with me. It was actually you who came off quite defensive and for what? If you had a concern about my response to Decan, then don't, as he is quite capable of handling himself and my response to him was in reference to something that he posted that had to do with my post to CB in regards to the dating pool of Black men for Black women.
If you think the numbers are wrong, fine, but all of the other stuff about taking and stealing was quite uncalled for and that's the problem with these types of threads, there is usually a poster who comes in and says something that is untrue or puts words in the mouth of another and it causes petty and unecessary arguments. It's almost as if many people come into these threads seeing only what they want to see and I'm not down for that. Simply put, if you are going to reflect on the words of another poster, please do so accurately.
Posted by CLCNY30Posted by OP3CRIMSIN
Holy crap PLA you wrote that you wish you had been black for the sake of the relationship so he would be comfortable loving you. I woul dnever change myself or wish I was someone different. You better hope P-Angel doesn't come in here and read that or you would get two or three pages of brow-beating 😉
Please do not summon the devil?
Thx.click to expand
HAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!
Posted by ellessque
I wasn't even paying attention to decan? (sorry buddy 😛)
fair enough. carry on.
I'm more interested in the side conversation going on anyways 😄
Ok, that's fine. Carry on.
Posted by Nekamarie83Posted by VirgoVixxxen
HAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAA...the ones I knew were so cute and unassuming. It's like they were oblivious to any girl who had a crush. LOL.
So what's going on Nek? You work with one that you have your eye on or something?
Oh no. I WISH!! The guy I'm stalk-- er crushing on is a sweet Brit. *le sigh* I'll update THAT saga when the time comes though. 🙂
Last time I saw a gathering of handsome Jewish fellows, I was in the NYC diamond district. No offense-- true story.
I was half breaking my own neck trying to see as many guys as I could. Hahah!!click to expand
e-stalking? That's some new shit? Wow, we women are so inventive at coming up with new ways to keep tabs on potential love interests....hmmm....gotta try that shit someday.
NYC Diamond District eh? *makes mental note to take my ass a trip to NYC DD* LOL!!!!
Posted by VirgoVixxxenPosted by Nekamarie83Posted by VirgoVixxxen
HAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAA...the ones I knew were so cute and unassuming. It's like they were oblivious to any girl who had a crush. LOL.
So what's going on Nek? You work with one that you have your eye on or something?
Oh no. I WISH!! The guy I'm stalk-- er crushing on is a sweet Brit. *le sigh* I'll update THAT saga when the time comes though. 🙂
Last time I saw a gathering of handsome Jewish fellows, I was in the NYC diamond district. No offense-- true story.
I was half breaking my own neck trying to see as many guys as I could. Hahah!!
e-stalking? That's some new shit? Wow, we women are so inventive at coming up with new ways to keep tabs on potential love interests....hmmm....gotta try that shit someday.
NYC Diamond District eh? *makes mental note to take my ass a trip to NYC DD* LOL!!!!click to expand
LOL, it's not e-stalking at all. She tried to play off "stalking" and then labeled it "crushing", lmfao.
It's not stalking in my opinion though, it's def. some serious interest
She needs to stop downplaying it *eyeroll*
Posted by caribbeangoldPosted by ellessque
I don't have an ax to grind.
We probably have polar opposite mercs like shaka and I did and seemed to butt heads on occasion.
I didn't put words in your mouth. You said "take", I interpreted that as meaning "steal". Semantics.
...and I was ALSO saying it was NOT true. Hence, the point i made saying that it was exaggerated to keep us in a quiet uproar amongst ourselves. An "unspoken" hate of sorts that is purely an illusion.
I never pointed out you had a problem with it. You chose to get defensive. I'm still unsure why.
thats the thing elle...you projected
since you date men of african descent, you probably have encountered glares from aaw...and you projected this reaction toward vixxen
you went with the stereotype of " all black women have issues with white women who date black men"....not true
although may be true by some...it is almost as if you got defensive when an attack toward aam and ww was never mentioned....
this is no different than had i assumed a particular white woman having an issue with me/my relationship because im with a white eu man..
when in fact, it may have never been an issue...
it reminds me of the ir couples that go out there looking for a reaction/to get a reaction when there may not be any
get it?
although..i know it was not intentional...it did come across like thatclick to expand
Elle, I was gonna say the same damn thing but I decided not to because then it would have just made me look like I was attacking you when in fact I wasn't. I knew you were projecting and that is why I addressed you to clear up exactly what it was that I actually said instead of allowing you to continue to falsify my statements. I understand that this happens to everyone. We all project at some point but I just wanted you to know that I am NOT one of those types of Black women who take issue with women of other races that date/marry Black men.
Posted by caribbeangoldPosted by caribbeangold
virgovixxen
some studies/statistics show that something similar to the aaw/aam is going on with asian men and women
more asian women are dating outside of their communities, usually white men
and the asian men are not dating ir as much....so, some feel left out
this is another growing tension...it seems
sometimes i wonder how much does social media/image influence this...
after all, asian men are portrayed as being the least desirable of all...
and black women too...
white man: the creme de la creme...has the wealth, looks, brainsclick to expand
black women have a very interesting (and this could be good or bad) portrayal in the media, and in turn, I feel like the ones who pick up on these generalizations the most are other black women. Is it really their fault; not really. When you're conditioned to believe one thing over another, you internalize it and project it onto everything. The biggest example I will throw out is the portrayal of black hair. Black people stigmatize more now than other races.
Also, I'll throw myself out there: I've gotten on more than one occasion, "You are actually pretty for a black girl." One hell of an ass backwards compliment, right? Over many years, black women in general have had to deal with not being ideal in terms of looks. I mean, have you seen many of the controversial advertisements in India where a husband left his dark-skinned wife for a lighter-skinned woman? Skin bleaching is also a controversial thing that has taken some countries by storm. These thoughts are a little jumbled, but media has a lot to do with this.
Posted by CLCNY30Posted by VirgoVixxxenPosted by Nekamarie83Posted by VirgoVixxxen
HAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAA...the ones I knew were so cute and unassuming. It's like they were oblivious to any girl who had a crush. LOL.
So what's going on Nek? You work with one that you have your eye on or something?
Oh no. I WISH!! The guy I'm stalk-- er crushing on is a sweet Brit. *le sigh* I'll update THAT saga when the time comes though. 🙂
Last time I saw a gathering of handsome Jewish fellows, I was in the NYC diamond district. No offense-- true story.
I was half breaking my own neck trying to see as many guys as I could. Hahah!!
e-stalking? That's some new shit? Wow, we women are so inventive at coming up with new ways to keep tabs on potential love interests....hmmm....gotta try that shit someday.
NYC Diamond District eh? *makes mental note to take my ass a trip to NYC DD* LOL!!!!
LOL, it's not e-stalking at all. She tried to play off "stalking" and then labeled it "crushing", lmfao.
It's not stalking in my opinion though, it's def. some serious interest
She needs to stop downplaying it *eyeroll*click to expand
So it's more than what she says eh? Nek, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk...what are you waiting for, girl! Go get him! Awww...wait, don't tell me it's like your situation C? The dude has a girlfriend?
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