So what do virgo men actually look for in a woman?

Is it good sense of humour,good looks,good sex,good conversation....?
I don't personally see virgos as superficial people on the whole and was just curious to see if there was a pattern to what attracts them to the opposite sex.

i have read (mainly Linda Goodman's sun signs and love signs) that Virgo men look for quality -- they look for an intelligent woman who is nice looking and nice dressing -- but not too flashy.... Virgos are smart and need to be intellectually challenged, and yet think they enjoy fun and humour cuz they are so serious at times....

woodsnake,

Seems to me, with the males I know, they tend to gravitate towards women who can take charge of them. Though, they appear as though they want to be the leader because of thier pickiness and determined mental processing . . in reality, likely because they get bogged down in heavy thinking, they like subtle domination over much more than one would think . . to take charge, doesn't necessarily mean to be a dominator, rather, a sure and confident woman who can pick up in an instant where he will likely make the right decision, but, is too torn within himself to be aggressive about it.

The female ones I know, are much different in this scenerio . . THEY want command and gravitate towards weaker beings, rather than stronger . . though, still, the females want someone on their intelligectual level and not be in fear of her. She wants to rule them (maybe that's just the female thing and not Virgo) . . but, at the same time, she loses interest if they are intimidated by her. Seems like every female Virgo I know, dumps all men who back away from her authority over him IF they behave as though she does indeed have power over him, which isn't the case, at all . . she's strong and wants a contender, though, this is hard to determine because it APPEARS as though she wants a weanie to whom she can push around.

But, mainly, in both genders . . what they mostly are drawn to is another's ability to reason-out logically, without taking every word personally. They want their partners to understand that because they are talking to them about a personal issue, that doesn't mean they are attacking, or being critical . . it means, they are practical about everything and need the ability to address things without the partner taking offense. Also, the other side of that . . they want a partner who can reason stuff out practically, without requireing a lot of convincing.

Anyway, that's just some things I've noticed as an outsider, looking in, as I observe my V friends and family.

Yeah, I learned a long time ago . . don't ask him what he thinks, or, I could be waiting a long, long, long time. To be an effective partner to the male Virgo, you have to know him inside and out, be a quick thinker and have the ability to make fast decisions, based off of his principals blended with your own.

Something else, that comes to mind here . . and this is coming from my experiences with my husband . . they want someone who they can "blend" with . . not own, not submit to.
Maybe it's because they are so internally organized within their brains, that even with a partnership, there has to be a balance, they have to be able to work "with" you. Not, for you, or, against you, or, because of you . . it has to be fluid and even.

Seems like when a Virgo finds this kind of union . . they flourish. It's like they are searching for a partner who can be a cog within their engines. That sounds stupid, I know, but, it seems that way to me.

Not so bad, I guess . . so long as they remember that it's a person and needs to be oiled and serviced regularly . . just because "it" fit into place from the begninning, doesn't mean it doesn't need adjustments from time to time.

lol, that could be ONE major problem with a Virgo, actually.

They tend to put a person in a certain place within their lives and find security that this person will always fit into the same place . . but, their people . . they change. Perhaps it would be prudent for the Virgo to pull this person out of the position they were placed to do some adjustments.

That deosn't seem to happen as often as it should. One a spot is found . . no more time and effort is put into it and ultimately, the relationship fails because this is a person and not apart of a system.

being a virgo, i wonder why ladies here are so madly inlove with these kind of men and settle for something less. these kind of men are not even lovable and worth the fight.

What? vgurl. Not entirely sure I understood what you just wrote.

Ladies here are so madly in love with these kind of men?
And settle for something less?
These kind of men are not even lovable and worth the fight?

I'm thinking I didn't grasp your meaning, here . . it's sounds contridictory to say these men aren't worthy of love, yet, to be with another is settling for less.lol

Ok, my brains farting, here, I don't get it.

it's like loving someone and it's just your own illusion. a spirit who doesn't even exist. why love these kind of men who treats their ladies unworthy?

yes p-angel it's contradicting perhaps ironic because when a person is inlove most often than not ladies become too attached with their men who don't feel the same or either not knowing where they stand in their men's lives. they become blinded with their own illusions that it will always be a happy ending for the two of them when the other party is just playing around.

a relationship is a two way street.

"it's like loving someone and it's just your own illusion. a spirit who doesn't even exist. why love these kind of men who treats their ladies unworthy?"

I'm lost, vgurl. Maybe it's just me because usually I understand what you're saying. But, today . . I don't get it.

If it's being in love with a person who doesn't exist, except in your own mind . . then how can he be a kind of man who treats his lady unworthy? If he's in my head as my ultimate partner, then he's treating me good . . really, really good because he's a fantasy.

Never mind . . I'll probably get it another time.

What do you mean, Roxi? By, mad when you got here? You mean, originally, or, today?

You're here because you're NOT madly in love with someone at the moment. If you were, you'd probably be visiting with him . . . . and doing, "The Hot Stuff".

Hey, you got the the whole thing going on . . you can be free of husband and duties to him and then rip a male Aries clothes off at your convenience. Damn, lucky bitch.

Hell, I'll trade places with you.

i myself don't know the reason why i love my husband when there's always some painful adjustments to deal with. i've learned to be grateful for having him in my life, and to be contented with the choice i made. perhaps there's just magic in our relationship that's why our union stays strong.

my advice for all these ladies, never look for answers on how you can make your man love you, you'll end up losing your mind and yourself.

"i myself don't know the reason why i love my husband when there's always some painful adjustments to deal with"

"i've learned to be grateful for having him in my life"

"to be contented with the choice i made"

"my advice for all these ladies, never look for answers on how you can make your man love you"


Damn, vgurl . . . perhaps, it's getting close to time to look ahead. Your words sound like you've fallen into an abyss and feel as though you have no choice except to make yourself be content with what you have.

Though, I'm certainly not faulting you, for we all fall sometimes . . I'm dwindling down myself in my marriage. You don't talk like a woman who loves her husband and perhaps I do the same, at times. I just wanted to tell you that I see that you're diminishing as the years pass and not that it means anything to you . . except that someone notices that you aren't happy.

if i say i love the man i am with because he's a sh1thead does it also mean that i am a sh1thead? the people we are in relationship with is a reflection of our own self-- beliefs and their beliefs.

if you appreciate a trait of someone else, instead of looking for it you can find it in yourself.

why are there too many ungrateful people who whines and complains alot with all their hurts and pains in their relationships. why think about the past when you can't bring it back? why think about the future when you can't anticipate what will happen next?

these are all useless worries. you're right, dyr nobody will be in this website if they don't want to vent out, but there are also some here who just want to bring enlightenment to those who are blinded in the clouds of deception.

ladies, give yourself a break. to love someone is to be happy. if the one you love brings you misery then that's not love but infatuation.

Sounds great, though, I'd have the better end of the deal . . spicy and wonton. You'd get methodical and cool.

Hell yeah, like rabbits . . all day, every day, in every room of the house.

The best ever, without question is definitely the male ram. But, unfortunately, that's about it . . sex, sex and more sex . . not much more.

Shame, isn't it? Now see, if they could have the demeanor of a different sign, say, Virgo's for example . . all us girls would be standing in line, waiting our turn for a go.

i agree with Dy -- that is why most people find their way to this site, searching, analyzing trying to figure out a male/female of a certain sign and why he/she did them wrong, or whatever.....

roxi - i think even tho you get over your anger, you get 'hooked' on the talking, messaging.... scorpios have a very addictive, obsessive personality....

p-angel and virgurl -- i must say because i agree with Dy statements, i have wondered why people who are happily married for long time are here? just curious... not judging or anything.... you must have some situation you are trying to figure out or just bored?.....

anyway, i know that talking to strangers has helped me a bit as well.... i'm not so crazy about losing him, etc.... i realize he needs to come to me and BEG my forgiveness and BEG me to see him..... altho i do still have my moments of wanting to txt or email him.... i'm going to try not to ever....

no p-angel, well i think sometimes i feel like i'm at the end of the cliff but i try to keep perspective on things. that every bad day will pass and all the hurts are only temporary.

i actually do have all the choices in hand. divorce or live inside the relationship much longer. as month and years pass by i never fail to think about the worst thing scenario that can happen, but still i am with him and still loving it.

"p-angel . . . i have wondered why people who are happily married for long time are here? just curious... not judging or anything.... you must have some situation you are trying to figure out or just bored?"

Don't have to worry about judgeing me, judge away . . it's not likely I'll take offense to anything anyone has to say because everybody has a viewpoint of thier own, that belongs to them.

Bored? Sometimes . . mostly just because of lonliness . . I live high in the Applicians and don't get down the hill much.

However, issues are certainly present and it does help to throw stuff out there once in a while to see which way it bounces, so I can make adjustments, appropriately.

haha i'm not sure if i'm bored. honestly? truth is i learn from what i read here, there's so many girls here who are more unhappy compared to me .. that i have to be grateful.

"well i think sometimes i feel like i'm at the end of the cliff but i try to keep perspective on things. that every bad day will pass and all the hurts are only temporary."

But, for how long can one carry the hurts until the time comes that the edge of the cliff looks welcoming?

Remember that movie, "As Good As It Gets"? I think about that a lot, not the movie, but, the meaning of: Is this as good as it gets?

as far as their will power can take. I've got the will to move heaven and earth; besides a life a slings and arrows is better than knowing that you we're to weak to live it out.

there you have it. you know the answers to all your questions. you have to be patient patient and patient.

if you truly love someone why feel bad about this kind of feeling? why think about things too much that already happened and you think will happen? because it's not reciprocated? if it bothers you then why not ask that particular person? because you might show him your impulsiveness and scare him away? you are only showing your man the good or likable side of you. i'd better see the worst attitude of my man or let him see the worse in my from there i will know if he can accept me for who i am or not.

marriage and relationships are all about self-discovery. if we truly want to know about what do these men and women need why ask other people? does it give us an assurance that this is the truth and that this is actually what they need? why not ask the particular person what works for them and what doesn't work for you?

you are bothered. with this silence, space, or whatever you call it. they are bothered too. so what's the solution?

i wouldn't want to put words into my man's mouth just to comfort me either or make me feel good. the love he have for you should be felt. but you are bothered. where was he when you need that love, that care, that thoughtfulness that you were hurt?

this is what i am trying to point out he have to take an initiative. ladies dont have to do all the work in here. he have to contribute something without being asked. that's the true essence of loving, caring, kindness and thoughtfulness. most of the ladies here are kept in a hanging point not knowing where they stand in their loved ones lives.

so what's the solution? we dont need to convince anybody here we can only start by getting real with our self and think about how your own relationship was created. only you and your partner knows it, not the people here.

see that's where i am at too -- is THIS IT? Is this AS GOOD AS IT GETS? it's kinda scary -- cuz it sounds like you all - at least roxi, p-angel and vgurl are- in similar boat as me -- married long time, mid-point in life, kids..... done alot with your life, but think..... is this gonna be it now for next 40 years? and if so, is this gonna do it for me?

but like roxi said, it's cold out there.... so why venture from warm, maybe not perfectly happy, but at least safe/secure place for what -- soulmate, fun and adventure -- yeah, i want all that, but do you give up all you have for the unknown? i don't think so....

so what's the answer..... i know having an affair is not it, even tho it kinda helps get through periods... sort of... but just adds pain and misery too - especially if it was with a Virgo!

but i'm happy with my husband 'coz he's a different man he's a leo and i am the virgo.. hehe

Someone said to me the other day "women hit 40 and get bored, men hit 40 and get boring" probably not entirely true but it made me smile....

i noticed that some people enjoy their freedom very much that they care less about what people will feel.

some fret why their partners are taking too much space without them knowing they need it, then hate their partners for doing such, little did they know that they were the reason why their partners act that way.

it's like when your dog was lost and can't be found, you feel anxious and sad what happened to your dog. what more if it was a human being? i think virgos have tendencies to detach themselves way too much caring less. i usually don't like and feel comfortable when my husband check me and wants me to call him up about my whereabouts, but relationships are made because it's a merging of two lives.

i feel that i lack sensitivity that maybe my partner is worried about me that's why he's acting like that. if i see my partner as a very impatient man, i also see myself as such. problems are messages for us, the choice is in our hands on how to go about it. if we let these problems push us aside until that space or issues piles up as it torn the relationship apart or look for a solution to negotiate these problems.

vgurl now i am pisces with a fair bit of virgo going on (don't understand it all actually) but anyway i dont think i lack sensitivity but i am quite good at detaching myself and not on purpose, I too am married to a leo and as much as i love him i sometimes find his love a bit overwelming it smothers me sometimes but i go along with it because everyone loves in different ways i also not always comfortable with the ringing home and whereabouts, i think we are both learning to compromise you have to if you want things to workso long as its not self sacrifice

woodsnake -- i like your 40 thing -- i think it's mainly true!

i once loved a virguy in my life when i was young, both of us are trying too hard to make the relationship work but we were going down the drain and that we were not growing together but apart. i realized that its better to pick someone or settle for someone whom you can communicate with or else your relationship will suffer.

then i met a sag, who loves his freedom too much. too optimistic about things. a social animal as i might say, we both have the same interests and gives me just so many good and happy times. but this relationship is so better of as friends because we were not growing either. he thought that by flirting around with other women, this will validate my true feelings for him. he gave me this kind of ultimatum that he reached beyond his boundaries. i find it fair to have a problem within the relationship than have a problem caused by a different woman. perhaps if he's not happy with me anymore might as well say it than cheat on me and make me look stupid.

with all these realizations based from my past experiences, i've come to know what i want and what i need in a relationship. then i met my husband who's a leo. he's full of love, genuine, thoughtful and sweet, he can be overly dramatic but he can communicate things with me and stimulating. i admire him a lot because he does things that i dont need to let him do. he surprise me we his thoughtfulness and grateful attitude.

i don't know why this relationship worked this time perhaps i reached to the point where i was able to know and hold on with the one i love most without giving up. and it's all about being grateful, this is the cure for all our expectations.

experience is definitely the best teacher. we can never find the love we want if we don't make ourselves whole and healthy -- healthy mind and healthy spirit.

we all do have our mood swings but this should not always be the case to make us stop from growing and learning. it's true that when we truly love someone, it makes us humble.

it's better to lose your pride to the one you love than lose your love because of pride.

is this line familiar to you..

"i need you because i love you."

and not

"i love you because i need you."

..i wanna grow old with you .. lol love is corny!

so scorpiogoat - just curious -- you left a stable/secure marriage or long-term relationship? with a _____, to be with this new Virgo man = whom you fell desperately in love with? and now you are here trying to figure him out? that's interesting, how long before left? do you feel resentment to new guy becuz you left secure for his unknown?

I read (again in Linda Goodman's sun signs) that if you are looking for a romantic flowers and love partner -- don't ever choose a Virgo -- they just don't have it in em! But, they are nevertheless attractive or what are we all doing harping on about em!....

Scopiogoat - wow, that's great that you were able to be true to YOURSELF and your husband while deciding/going through such a monumental decision. Were you married long? any kids? those are major factors as well.... but still i admire you....

i hope your Virgo guy proves worth your efforts -- but even so, as you said, you did it for yourself so even if it doesn't work out with him, you are better off to be your authentic self....

you go girl...

well, that is good scopiogoat -- a couple things -- yes, i agree with alot of what you say about women staying in marriages, etc. -- but it is a COMPLETELY different world to be maried for 10, 15, 20 years and have children, then it is to be married less than 5 and no kids and make the decision to leave.... MUCH EASIER! However, still it's a big decision with a lot of guilt attached....

One thing too about Virgo guys -- do you think that maybe you telling him your true heart scared him away? I mean, they do get scared with the deep emotions/feelings -- especialy if they are not ready for it.... and they don't like feeling obligated to anyone... so maybe he feels 'obligated' that you 'left your husband for him' and he is a bit scared to say the least.... i dunno, just a thought...