Damnata
@Damnata
15 Years25,000+ PostsVirgo
Comments: 252 · Posts: 36418 · Topics: 473
The Virgo Shadow
The Virgo shadow, in its own way, kills life, because it tries to remove life's unpredictability and unevenness.
Another similar face of this shadow is the I-told-you-so syndrome. No great detail is needed to describe it, since we've all met it, in somebody else or in ourselves. It makes you feel like killing. That smug, faintly satisfied look that Virgo can sometimes get - when he warned you about something and you blundered and he knew all along that you would - makes you want to fill the bathtub with piranhas. It's another way of never permitting anything to happen which is unexpected, messy, incomplete. It's Virgo's way of saying, 'But I never would have blundered like that. I know better.'
You get the picture. What is this shadow about? Well, for one thing, it stems from Virgo's fear of the unknown. When a Virgo is really being true to himself, he's ordinarily maybe a little cautious,but not ridiculous about it. He's sensitive, he knows it, the world is difficult and full of challenges and problems, and he usually works to find skills and tools which can help him cope. But a Virgo who is really insecure just goes off limits with his caution. Tell him anything new and he'll either pretend he's learned it already, or tell you it's untrue. Show him a side of yourself he hasn't met yet and he'll criticize it or tell you how to fix it, because it threatens his pattern. Show a little spontaneity and he'll try to crush it, because it terrifies him. Show some unexpected emotion and he'll go blank and numb because he doesn't know how to classify it or deal with it. All this is part of the Virgo shadow. It has to do with control, as do all shadows. And with Virgo, it's a kind of crazy, na??ve, ludicrous attempt to control life so that it won't contain any unknown or threatening elements.
There's another type of Virgo shadow you sometimes see, and this happens when Virgo's sensitivity has been bruised too badly. We might call it the Hustler. The Hustler is a face of Virgo which appears when reality and its difficulties weigh too heavily on the scale, while hope and faith and trust weigh too light. Then the Hustler appears. He uses Virgo's naturally canny commercial nose and twists it so that everything must be bargained for. The Hustler makes everything into a deal. He's also prepared to sell anything, at a price. In some ways the ancient mythical image of the Great Harlot has here become the mean hooker.
Another similar face of this shadow is the I-told-you-so syndrome. No great detail is needed to describe it, since we've all met it, in somebody else or in ourselves. It makes you feel like killing. That smug, faintly satisfied look that Virgo can sometimes get - when he warned you about something and you blundered and he knew all along that you would - makes you want to fill the bathtub with piranhas. It's another way of never permitting anything to happen which is unexpected, messy, incomplete. It's Virgo's way of saying, 'But I never would have blundered like that. I know better.'
You get the picture. What is this shadow about? Well, for one thing, it stems from Virgo's fear of the unknown. When a Virgo is really being true to himself, he's ordinarily maybe a little cautious,but not ridiculous about it. He's sensitive, he knows it, the world is difficult and full of challenges and problems, and he usually works to find skills and tools which can help him cope. But a Virgo who is really insecure just goes off limits with his caution. Tell him anything new and he'll either pretend he's learned it already, or tell you it's untrue. Show him a side of yourself he hasn't met yet and he'll criticize it or tell you how to fix it, because it threatens his pattern. Show a little spontaneity and he'll try to crush it, because it terrifies him. Show some unexpected emotion and he'll go blank and numb because he doesn't know how to classify it or deal with it. All this is part of the Virgo shadow. It has to do with control, as do all shadows. And with Virgo, it's a kind of crazy, na??ve, ludicrous attempt to control life so that it won't contain any unknown or threatening elements.
There's another type of Virgo shadow you sometimes see, and this happens when Virgo's sensitivity has been bruised too badly. We might call it the Hustler. The Hustler is a face of Virgo which appears when reality and its difficulties weigh too heavily on the scale, while hope and faith and trust weigh too light. Then the Hustler appears. He uses Virgo's naturally canny commercial nose and twists it so that everything must be bargained for. The Hustler makes everything into a deal. He's also prepared to sell anything, at a price. In some ways the ancient mythical image of the Great Harlot has here become the mean hooker.
Translated, it means, sure, I'll sell that, what's it worth to you? Anything to get a little salted away. Any individual is a potential customer, a potential soak. And this is perhaps the most tragic side of Virgo's shadow, because this happens only when Virgo has become so disillusioned or so frightened that he must put up barriers against everything. Even love is for sale then, and the 'suitable' marriage must include the right amount of money in the bank account. It isn't beyond this side of Virgo's shadow to check your credentials before that first date is accepted. It's also sometimes called as psychological usury.
Sadly, this side of the Virgo shadow appears most frequently in male Virgos. I have come to the conclusion that it's because society makes it a little difficult for the Virgo man. This is a sensitive and receptive sign, not naturally ambitious, and often very aware of subtle undercurrents and intuitive interchanges which elude the thicker-skinned signs. It's also a sign naturally inclined to flow rather than lead. These aren't part of the conventional macho image men are supposed to carry in our culture. The Virgo man often has a hard time being himself in a world which requires him to be more insensitive than compassionate, more successful than skillful, more leader than craftsman, more money-maker than lover of nature. So the Hustler side of the Virgo shadow appears, and it isn't a very lovable one.
All shadows dissolve when light is brought to bear on them. This one is no exception. For a Virgo seeing himself in the light - complete with what he's really afraid of - is a great healer. For him to try, just once, to trust himself and others and life rather than demanding that everything be named and guaranteed is also a great healer. And for him to recognize that life has mysteries he'll never understand or explain, and chaos that maybe shouldn't ever be ordered, and pockets of mistakes, and slips and messiness that perhaps don't really need tidying, is the greatest healer of all. In other words, Virgo, the realist, isn't really very realistic. The reality he sees is only the tangible one. It's the other one he needs to find, and to trust. Then he can become what the myth portrays: the one who can heal and nurture and bring life, whether to people or ideas or his art, because he's made peace with the unknown.
Sadly, this side of the Virgo shadow appears most frequently in male Virgos. I have come to the conclusion that it's because society makes it a little difficult for the Virgo man. This is a sensitive and receptive sign, not naturally ambitious, and often very aware of subtle undercurrents and intuitive interchanges which elude the thicker-skinned signs. It's also a sign naturally inclined to flow rather than lead. These aren't part of the conventional macho image men are supposed to carry in our culture. The Virgo man often has a hard time being himself in a world which requires him to be more insensitive than compassionate, more successful than skillful, more leader than craftsman, more money-maker than lover of nature. So the Hustler side of the Virgo shadow appears, and it isn't a very lovable one.
All shadows dissolve when light is brought to bear on them. This one is no exception. For a Virgo seeing himself in the light - complete with what he's really afraid of - is a great healer. For him to try, just once, to trust himself and others and life rather than demanding that everything be named and guaranteed is also a great healer. And for him to recognize that life has mysteries he'll never understand or explain, and chaos that maybe shouldn't ever be ordered, and pockets of mistakes, and slips and messiness that perhaps don't really need tidying, is the greatest healer of all. In other words, Virgo, the realist, isn't really very realistic. The reality he sees is only the tangible one. It's the other one he needs to find, and to trust. Then he can become what the myth portrays: the one who can heal and nurture and bring life, whether to people or ideas or his art, because he's made peace with the unknown.
Truth
Posted by Damnata
But the destructive side of Virgo's shadow takes a long time to bear its fruits. Try this on somebody over a period of a few years and you never allow them ever to learn anything, find out anything, think anything, that they can give you. You've taken it all already. You know it beforehand. It's one of the most insidious and deadly ways of crushing another person's creativity that could happen. And it's one of the darker edges of Virgo.
I'm liking this shit ... finally something good to read around these parts!!!
I've been married to a male Virgo for over 30 years and though, he doesn't have a chance to do the above further than first indication that the mood is present before I nip it in the bud ... but I see it all the fucking time. He can't help it, and I know it ... I just know how to side step that side of him.
It's all true ....
Posted by Damnata
.... life is full of mistakes, and so are people, and so, probably, is God.
*s
gods
Posted by Damnata
The Virgo shadow, in its own way, kills life, because it tries to remove life's unpredictability and unevenness.
wow .... this stuff is too profound for me at the moment ... it appears I barely make it past each sentence.
Thank you for posting it .... but, I can't read the rest.
I loved this book, going round the forums right now to spread its message. 😄
I love everyone....on even days 🙂). The amount of people on all forums who take everything to heart is staggering.
God I miss Nefer's posts so much...her capacity for love was amazing.
God I miss Nefer's posts so much...her capacity for love was amazing.
My 'I know it all' syndrome came out the other night. I actually stopped dead mid sentence and was like NO(out loud) and the person gave me a wtf look and I was like you talk now and I'm just gonna listen. I think the other person was in shock lol.
I havent had a chance to read the rest but its a very interesting post...thanks 🙂
I havent had a chance to read the rest but its a very interesting post...thanks 🙂
Thanks for sharing.. Great insights... Now to stay out of the shadows...loving a Viego man really takes work... I do wonder if the have a high divorce rate in spite of their loyalty to loves ones?
Excuse my typos I'm on the elliptical right now _—
Posted by PotHeadVirgo24
And another thing. As far as I'm concerned, the unknowns is what makes life hard, so the more you know the less harder life will be. How is that a bad? If I knew Linda's number, I'd ask her the same goddam question.
Because what she's saying is that the unknown is where life is lived. If you know it all, what incentive do you have to live then...to grow. If we knew it all, there would be no science or exploration. It is the courage to step into the unknown that one finds him/herself. That they find life...living. Otherwise you're simply existing in a comfort zone. Who wants to just exist?
Wow...just WOW! This is absolutely on point. I just had to fight tooth n nail with myself last night to keep myself from having a convo like that with my guy friend. He was having a business meeting and I was literally squirming in my seat to keep myself from jumping in and telling them all what to do, how to do it and when to start!!! Funny thing is they finally did get around to everything I was thinking it just would have happened sooo much faster if I would have told them. I learned a while ago to just listen and let people come to it on there own.
I find I only have an obsessive need to control things when I'm falling for someone... to me those are the highest stakes...great post
I find I only have an obsessive need to control things when I'm falling for someone... to me those are the highest stakes...great post
Posted by PotHeadVirgo24
Why does one need validation though? Because I told you I already know about it, you don't want to continue to do it? Huh?
I mean if you just wanna talk to me about it then fine, but because I have an opinion about it already, it makes you..........sad—
Why? Just.....why?
I think it's more along the lines that the other person feels non-existent vs. invalidated in their input/opinions and in a relationship that is very one-sided & unhealthy. Since the Virgo knows it all and shuts down any potential conversation with that "don't talk to me about this stuff, Since I already know about it attitude"
And who is Linda?
Posted by PotHeadVirgo24
And having the courage to learn about the unknown so it's known, is my whole argument in the first place. Linda is trying to throw us under the bus because we've had the courage to discover the unknown and mention to someone what they are looking for, we already know it.
People get tired of our shit.
Everyone likes to feel like they 'discovered' something or figured something out, then share it with another as a form of self validation. With virgos they usually have a wide breadth of knowledge on various topics (or think they do) combined with an incessant need for praise, so in a relationship with one you rarely get the chance to share with them something you've learned because they always go "I know" and find a way to make it about themselves.
The 'Ahah' moment that happens when someone tells another something they hadnt known is forever denied to the partner of a virgo and only the virgo gets to experience it in the relationship. At first its just annoying but eventually that can stunt a person's growth and or damage their self esteem in the long run because it leads a person to feel dumber or lesser than the all knowing virgo. After getting that "I know" reaction 50x most people decide why bother sharing with the virgo, so when they have a new idea next time they dont tell the virgo they tell someone else. From my observations I've realized this ends up being the root cause of why a lot of virgos get cheated on, especially the men. Women end up going to some other dude looking for someone to share with and eventually the dude exploits that connection in order to fuck her. Virgos need to learn when to shut up, nobody really gives a fuck if we know everything. Virgos should ask themselves is it more important that I spew my shit and mentally jerk myself off at every opportunity or is it more important that my friends/partners get to feel validated and like they are contributing adults instead of my child.
I literally have to force myself all the time to just shut up and let the other person tell me something, if I'm really feeling generous I'll muster up the strength to even pretend I didnt already know whatever they said. Theres way to guide a person and question them in order to help them obtain the information without blatantly saying it and robbing them of the joy of self discovery. Ultimately its more rewarding for both parties because they feel enthusiastic and they get to bring their own unique perspective to the situation and possibly help me see it in a new way as well.
Posted by PotHeadVirgo24Posted by justagirlPosted by PotHeadVirgo24
Why does one need validation though? Because I told you I already know about it, you don't want to continue to do it? Huh?
I mean if you just wanna talk to me about it then fine, but because I have an opinion about it already, it makes you..........sad—
Why? Just.....why?
I think it's more along the lines that the other person feels non-existent vs. invalidated in their input/opinions and in a relationship that is very one-sided & unhealthy. Since the Virgo knows it all and shuts down any potential conversation with that "don't talk to me about this stuff, Since I already know about it attitude"
And who is Linda?
Now that whole "don't talk to me about it" is sour, I'll agree with that. Though I don't do that shit unless it's a subject I genuinely just don't wanna talk about because of whatever reason. And if that mf'er is saying fuck you all the time to all your conversation starters, that's either bad compatibility or one egotistical human being, but not a Virgo issue.
Linda is who wrote the article if I'm not mistaken.click to expand
I'm thinking it's just an asshole if they have that fuck you stance! LOL
I also do the shut down on people when they are saying something that I don't want to talk about or I am just bored.. I have to stop myself from doing the eyeroll sometimes, I'm evil like that 😛
Posted by HungVirgoPosted by PotHeadVirgo24
And having the courage to learn about the unknown so it's known, is my whole argument in the first place. Linda is trying to throw us under the bus because we've had the courage to discover the unknown and mention to someone what they are looking for, we already know it.
People get tired of our shit.
Everyone likes to feel like they 'discovered' something or figured something out, then share it with another as a form of self validation. With virgos they usually have a wide breadth of knowledge on various topics (or think they do) combined with an incessant need for praise, so in a relationship with one you rarely get the chance to share with them something you've learned because they always go "I know" and find a way to make it about themselves.
The 'Ahah' moment that happens when someone tells another something they hadnt known is forever denied to the partner of a virgo and only the virgo gets to experience it in the relationship. At first its just annoying but eventually that can stunt a person's growth and or damage their self esteem in the long run because it leads a person to feel dumber or lesser than the all knowing virgo. After getting that "I know" reaction 50x most people decide why bother sharing with the virgo, so when they have a new idea next time they dont tell the virgo they tell someone else. From my observations I've realized this ends up being the root cause of why a lot of virgos get cheated on, especially the men. Women end up going to some other dude looking for someone to share with and eventually the dude exploits that connection in order to fuck her. Virgos need to learn when to shut up, nobody really gives a fuck if we know everything. Virgos should ask themselves is it more important that I spew my shit and mentally jerk myself off at every opportunity or is it more important that my friends/partners get to feel validated and like they are contributing adults instead of my child.click to expand
h0ly molly +1 million..
Funny I am not a Virgo (have some in my chart thou) but my favorite saying is " I know" it's something I am aware of in myself (because a blunt friend pointed it out lol ) and I am trying to work on it. For me, I use it to confirm that I am listening to the other person I am engaged with- which c
*which comes across as a know it all, which is not my intent at all.
Posted by HungVirgoPosted by PotHeadVirgo24
And having the courage to learn about the unknown so it's known, is my whole argument in the first place. Linda is trying to throw us under the bus because we've had the courage to discover the unknown and mention to someone what they are looking for, we already know it.
People get tired of our shit.
Everyone likes to feel like they 'discovered' something or figured something out, then share it with another as a form of self validation. With virgos they usually have a wide breadth of knowledge on various topics (or think they do) combined with an incessant need for praise, so in a relationship with one you rarely get the chance to share with them something you've learned because they always go "I know" and find a way to make it about themselves.
The 'Ahah' moment that happens when someone tells another something they hadnt known is forever denied to the partner of a virgo and only the virgo gets to experience it in the relationship. At first its just annoying but eventually that can stunt a person's growth and or damage their self esteem in the long run because it leads a person to feel dumber or lesser than the all knowing virgo. After getting that "I know" reaction 50x most people decide why bother sharing with the virgo, so when they have a new idea next time they dont tell the virgo they tell someone else. From my observations I've realized this ends up being the root cause of why a lot of virgos get cheated on, especially the men. Women end up going to some other dude looking for someone to share with and eventually the dude exploits that connection in order to fuck her. Virgos need to learn when to shut up, nobody really gives a fuck if we know everything. Virgos should ask themselves is it more important that I spew my shit and mentally jerk myself off at every opportunity or is it more important that my friends/partners get to feel validated and like they are contributing adults instead of my child.click to expand
Completely agree with everything
Posted by DamnataPosted by HungVirgoPosted by PotHeadVirgo24
And having the courage to learn about the unknown so it's known, is my whole argument in the first place. Linda is trying to throw us under the bus because we've had the courage to discover the unknown and mention to someone what they are looking for, we already know it.
People get tired of our shit.
Everyone likes to feel like they 'discovered' something or figured something out, then share it with another as a form of self validation. With virgos they usually have a wide breadth of knowledge on various topics (or think they do) combined with an incessant need for praise, so in a relationship with one you rarely get the chance to share with them something you've learned because they always go "I know" and find a way to make it about themselves.
The 'Ahah' moment that happens when someone tells another something they hadnt known is forever denied to the partner of a virgo and only the virgo gets to experience it in the relationship. At first its just annoying but eventually that can stunt a person's growth and or damage their self esteem in the long run because it leads a person to feel dumber or lesser than the all knowing virgo. After getting that "I know" reaction 50x most people decide why bother sharing with the virgo, so when they have a new idea next time they dont tell the virgo they tell someone else. From my observations I've realized this ends up being the root cause of why a lot of virgos get cheated on, especially the men. Women end up going to some other dude looking for someone to share with and eventually the dude exploits that connection in order to fuck her. Virgos need to learn when to shut up, nobody really gives a fuck if we know everything. Virgos should ask themselves is it more important that I spew my shit and mentally jerk myself off at every opportunity or is it more important that my friends/partners get to feel validated and like they are contributing adults instead of my child.
Completely agree with everythingclick to expand
Another thing, that is similar in that Virgos won't let their partners do ... is give.
The Virgo takes the role in accommodating and providing, and the reason why they do this is admirab
ooops
.... admirable. But, your partners also need to feel like they are able to give to you ... and it's rare that the Virgo allows their partner to be the giver, and that also robs your partner from feeling like they are needed in providing care to you.
.... admirable. But, your partners also need to feel like they are able to give to you ... and it's rare that the Virgo allows their partner to be the giver, and that also robs your partner from feeling like they are needed in providing care to you.
PHV:
I understand that, but you have to consider how it comes across...the emotional aspects. A lot of times, someone justs needs someone to listen whether it be about their problems or something they discovered that they already know.
Not saying this about you or Virgos in general, but take my best friend, who is one for example. He did exactly what was described. It really does take the air out of the conversation...you're basically like what do we have to talk about then? How can we relate if you know everything. Wisdom comes in sometimes keeping silent in the fact that you already know a lot of what they say. Why? Because it's one of the main ways to build trust and rapport which strengthens the bind between you.
I understand that, but you have to consider how it comes across...the emotional aspects. A lot of times, someone justs needs someone to listen whether it be about their problems or something they discovered that they already know.
Not saying this about you or Virgos in general, but take my best friend, who is one for example. He did exactly what was described. It really does take the air out of the conversation...you're basically like what do we have to talk about then? How can we relate if you know everything. Wisdom comes in sometimes keeping silent in the fact that you already know a lot of what they say. Why? Because it's one of the main ways to build trust and rapport which strengthens the bind between you.
I like this; because it tells us; not just Virgos to be compassionate listeners.
Posted by P-Angel
But, your partners also need to feel like they are able to give to you ... and it's rare that the Virgo allows their partner to be the giver, and that also robs your partner from feeling like they are needed in providing care to you.
Dumb question maybe, but why does this person feel such a need to be a care provider? Why a need to take on extra responsibility and effort when Virgo is already such a supposed pain in the ass to deal with?
Posted by HungVirgoPosted by PotHeadVirgo24
And having the courage to learn about the unknown so it's known, is my whole argument in the first place. Linda is trying to throw us under the bus because we've had the courage to discover the unknown and mention to someone what they are looking for, we already know it.
People get tired of our shit.
Everyone likes to feel like they 'discovered' something or figured something out, then share it with another as a form of self validation. With virgos they usually have a wide breadth of knowledge on various topics (or think they do) combined with an incessant need for praise, so in a relationship with one you rarely get the chance to share with them something you've learned because they always go "I know" and find a way to make it about themselves.
The 'Ahah' moment that happens when someone tells another something they hadnt known is forever denied to the partner of a virgo and only the virgo gets to experience it in the relationship. At first its just annoying but eventually that can stunt a person's growth and or damage their self esteem in the long run because it leads a person to feel dumber or lesser than the all knowing virgo. After getting that "I know" reaction 50x most people decide why bother sharing with the virgo, so when they have a new idea next time they dont tell the virgo they tell someone else. From my observations I've realized this ends up being the root cause of why a lot of virgos get cheated on, especially the men. Women end up going to some other dude looking for someone to share with and eventually the dude exploits that connection in order to fuck her. Virgos need to learn when to shut up, nobody really gives a fuck if we know everything. Virgos should ask themselves is it more important that I spew my shit and mentally jerk myself off at every opportunity or is it more important that my friends/partners get to feel validated and like they are contributing adults instead of my child.click to expand
Hallelujah an evolved Virgo, lets hope you practice what you preach ; )
Posted by P-Angel
ooops
.... admirable. But, your partners also need to feel like they are able to give to you ... and it's rare that the Virgo allows their partner to be the giver, and that also robs your partner from feeling like they are needed in providing care to you.
^^^ this is def a big issue for me.
The sad thing is that majority of the time (this maybe just me) but we give and give and give and then eventually because its one sided (are own fault) we feel used and taken advantage of when in reality we never gave the other person a chance to come forward and provide and care for us too. Looking back I see this happened a lot with my ex Pisces. This isnt always the case ...sometimes people are just with lazy douchebags but majority of the time I can see virgos doing this.
My cancer friend has actually taught me a lot in this department. He's constantly wanting to take care of me in some way and at first it was weird...I tried to analyze his motives, I thought I was his charity case cause he felt sorry for me etc (still kinds do..not gonna lie lol) but he will not let me do things for him..at all. Something as simple as when he comes and visits and he has a head ache...im like hey I have ibprofen..he's like thanks but I have my own...hmm ok then. Its so very frustrating but also teaching me that not everyone needs to be taken care of and provided for at every turn...but if he doesnt let me do something for him soon (he does but he does way more for me)...he's gonna eventually feel like the above..used and taken advantage of...and that is/has never been my intentions.
I actually thought about you, LIMM, when making this reference. My first encounter with you in dxp was on the Cancer board a couple years ago, and in telling you this very thing.
I don't remember the details exactly ... but, I remember that you were indifferent when he tried to do things for you, and telling you that that is why he was ignoring you, in that by you not letting him do things for you, it was making him feel unwanted.
At any rate .... it's a big issue for my husband also, because this is something he had to force himself to think about. Otherwise, he would have refused to accept that other people also need to feel needed. But, he does take pause now, to realize that sometimes .... he has to take, for the sake of giving others the ability to show their care.
Its def a hard pill to swallow...even still and it probably always will be. It feels llike its going against nature in a way (to me at least) you would think this would be something that would come easy since we like to please our partners as well as service them...and what better way to please someone is to give them what they want and need not just what we think they want and need. Virgos (not all) just sometimes cant see past their own nose...
This is why we need a partner that can open our eyes..and are willing to be patient in doing so. We (not all) are like babies when it comes to love lol.
This is why we need a partner that can open our eyes..and are willing to be patient in doing so. We (not all) are like babies when it comes to love lol.
^^^ that was a response to P
Posted by LostinmyMind11
... and what better way to please someone is to give them what they want and need not just what we think they want and need.
lol, I'm so glad you say this .... it reinforces my belief in that it's selfish to treat a person how you want to be treated.
People argue with me on that, and all the whiles of their life, they live with the belief that they should treat people how they want to be treated .... and that is actually the epitome of selfishness.
People are suppose to be treated the way THEY want to be treated.
Afterall, if you (everyone) held all terms of relating according to YOUR standards ... then where does unconditional loving fit?
It's hard, I know, for me too .... but, we cannot decide what is best for a person other than ourselves, so we therefore can't treat/say/do anything FOR them, until they express what is in their best interest to us.
Unfortunately ...... most people are clueless as to what is in their best interest, and so just run towards each emotional spike, even to their own detriment.
And in their insanity, they are completely oblivious that they told themselves to run that way .... and so have no recourse except to be in denial that they are in error.
Programming ----------- being told that you are the image of perfection, while being told you are inherently a sinner. How are people suppose to understand life when their whole foundation is built on a contradiction?
There is an extremely sad part to all of this though ..... in here lies the Virgo testimony that sometimes they need to remain silent and not tell the other that they know everything .... when the reality isn't that you need to be silent, rather ....
.... you need to realize that you actually don't know everything.
Posted by PotHeadVirgo24Posted by beautifulsoul74
PHV:
I understand that, but you have to consider how it comes across...the emotional aspects. A lot of times, someone justs needs someone to listen whether it be about their problems or something they discovered that they already know.
Not saying this about you or Virgos in general, but take my best friend, who is one for example. He did exactly what was described. It really does take the air out of the conversation...you're basically like what do we have to talk about then? How can we relate if you know everything. Wisdom comes in sometimes keeping silent in the fact that you already know a lot of what they say. Why? Because it's one of the main ways to build trust and rapport which strengthens the bind between you.
I don't have those problems during conversations though. That's why defending my position on it. It makes my conversations last longer because there are 2 perceptions involved. You talk I listen. Then I talk and you listen. It can't always be about them. And really, if you want me to stfu and listen to all of what you have to say, just tell me to stfu. It's as simple as that. No malicious intent taken.click to expand
I feel you
Posted by P-AngelPosted by LostinmyMind11
... and what better way to please someone is to give them what they want and need not just what we think they want and need.
lol, I'm so glad you say this .... it reinforces my belief in that it's selfish to treat a person how you want to be treated.
People argue with me on that, and all the whiles of their life, they live with the belief that they should treat people how they want to be treated .... and that is actually the epitome of selfishness.
People are suppose to be treated the way THEY want to be treated.
Afterall, if you (everyone) held all terms of relating according to YOUR standards ... then where does unconditional loving fit?
It's hard, I know, for me too .... but, we cannot decide what is best for a person other than ourselves, so we therefore can't treat/say/do anything FOR them, until they express what is in their best interest to us.
click to expand
Agreed
I've learned to allow myself to act as a teacher who asked a question and to let other people play the role of student. They tell me something and I listen with intent, not to what they are telling me, but for errors. Then I may pose a question if lacking or needs improvement.
If they get it right I am like: "Really?" Not more the information but that they got it right.
They think its that told me something I didn't know but I know better and they are happy. I am happy and the world moves on.
🙂
If they get it right I am like: "Really?" Not more the information but that they got it right.
They think its that told me something I didn't know but I know better and they are happy. I am happy and the world moves on.
🙂
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