@firebunny
14 Years10,000+ Posts
VIRGOS: LACKING EMOTIONS?
Do Virgos Struggle with Expressing Emotions
Virgos may have difficulty expressing emotions due to their analytical and reserved nature. Understanding their tendencies can help improve communication and emotional connection. Recognizing these traits allows friends and partners to offer support and patience in fostering emotional openness.
i think P Angel made some good points if you can look past her delivery.
Quite simplistic to be honest. We are not fake, for instance. No way.
I am a Leo however I have Venus conj Merc in Virgo. I have trouble expressing "good" feelings in relationships. For example, it is difficult to say warm fuzzy things to people I care about. I already have, in my head, what I think your response should be. If it is not that, I am disappointed.
I do not have an issue expressing negative emotions. I am very judgmental and critical.
Venus in Virgo is a really rough placement in terms of emotions.
nope, i DMV does not think your fake. not in the least bit. however, to someone who many have wanted to be romantically involved with you and thought they were only for you to rescind months of intimacy, yes you can appear to them as fake, cold, and extremely distant.
passive agressive, passive avoidance, and generally inability to draw lines in the sand yes.
i made another thread about virgos beating around the bush. where with my virgo friend, a guy may approach her and she'll entertain him with loads of passion etc, but she doesnt like him anymore. instead of telling the guy who is still pursuing her, shell just play around with him and never come out and say "its not working out." then shell go on and on about why this guy wont leave her alone.
its like she doesnt know what she wants.
which is why you guys are perfect for scorpios, you can both be passive agressive with each other and continue the mystery.
even as a mars in virgo, i can be VERY passive aggressive with my love interests. some days i want ya, other days i dont. i wont tell you that i dont like you unless im completely done with you, but i have been rightfully accused stringing others along just for a temporary high to avoid boredom or even for an orgasm.
I do not have an issue expressing negative emotions.
yes. the negative emotions. i dont like to be the bad guy. combined with a mutable sun that also doesnt like to be the bad guy.
tough combo
yeahp, sometimes it's really really hard for me to be honest when it comes to my feelings coz I have hurt a lot of people by being so. Right now, I have to be very careful and the net effect of that is that I tend to beat around the bush, as you say, DMV.
Posted by Nala13
I am a Leo however I have Venus conj Merc in Virgo. I have trouble expressing "good" feelings in relationships. For example, it is difficult to say warm fuzzy things to people I care about. I already have, in my head, what I think your response should be. If it is not that, I am disappointed.I do not have an issue expressing negative emotions. I am very judgmental and critical.
Venus in Virgo is a really rough placement in terms of emotions.
True, I have a hard time expressing good feelings too. The reason for this is that I don't want my relationship to change because of my saying those good feelings. I like status quo. @_@
I don't know about negative feelings though... I kind of forgotten what I do with it. #sortofpositivelol 😛
Posted by DMV
nope, i DMV does not think your fake. not in the least bit. however, to someone who many have wanted to be romantically involved with you and thought they were only for you to rescind months of intimacy, yes you can appear to them as fake, cold, and extremely distant.passive agressive, passive avoidance, and generally inability to draw lines in the sand yes.
i made another thread about virgos beating around the bush. where with my virgo friend, a guy may approach her and she'll entertain him with loads of passion etc, but she doesnt like him anymore. instead of telling the guy who is still pursuing her, shell just play around with him and never come out and say "its not working out." then shell go on and on about why this guy wont leave her alone.
its like she doesnt know what she wants.
which is why you guys are perfect for scorpios, you can both be passive agressive with each other and continue the mystery.
Sounds like me. _
I think we just think too much sometimes and that what holds us up. We just need time, if we feel pressured or forced. It will likely conclude to us rescinding. I think we fear love actually, or better yet the emotional vulnerability that comes with being in real true love... Which is quite ironic since that seems to be what we are seeking.
We are the sign of the Virgin. There is a part of us that we almost want to save for ourselves to remain white as snow and pure as a white wedding dress. Lol. Sounds corny but it's true. What most don't know is virgo has ALOT OF PRIDE. Even the women.
I'm willing to bet a Virgo woman alone, has more pride than maybe even other male signs... We hide it well behind our big doe eyes and girlish smiles.
I think also we tend to shy away because we tend to know our power. But sometimes become insecure of that power and decide to not make a move... Making us passive aggressive. In past relations I've wanted so bad to give in to my feelings but something just wouldn't let me let go.
I think first, we have to decide what we want and stick to it... Draw that line in the sand.
2nd, we need to think about what it is we want and not how anyone else will think about what we want or feel!! THAT gets me every time. Virgo's tend to put ppl's opinions high on the priority list.
And, lastly... We need to strengthen our decision making skills and be comfortable before and most impor
I don't like emotional vulnerability too! @_@
Posted by Nala13
I am a Leo however I have Venus conj Merc in Virgo. I have trouble expressing "good" feelings in relationships. For example, it is difficult to say warm fuzzy things to people I care about. I already have, in my head, what I think your response should be. If it is not that, I am disappointed.I do not have an issue expressing negative emotions. I am very judgmental and critical.
Venus in Virgo is a really rough placement in terms of emotions.
True, I have a hard time expressing good feelings too. The reason for this is that I don't want my relationship to change because of my saying those good feelings. I like status quo. @_@
click to expand
so interesting, ive heard my virgo friend say the same thing. they never want things to change. she says that "titles" change people.
Posted by Nala13
I am a Leo however I have Venus conj Merc in Virgo. I have trouble expressing "good" feelings in relationships. For example, it is difficult to say warm fuzzy things to people I care about. I already have, in my head, what I think your response should be. If it is not that, I am disappointed.I do not have an issue expressing negative emotions. I am very judgmental and critical.
Venus in Virgo is a really rough placement in terms of emotions.
True, I have a hard time expressing good feelings too. The reason for this is that I don't want my relationship to change because of my saying those good feelings. I like status quo. @_@
so interesting, ive heard my virgo friend say the same thing. they never want things to change. she says that "titles" change people.
click to expand
The earth part of me wants status quo especially when that status quo has already made me comfortable with it. It's just hard to change my relationships with anyone. It takes a lot of thoughts to make me realize that it's time for change. And yet we're Mutable. I guess we're only Mutable academe-wise. LOL.
im learning that you guys are very prideful and dont want to be made the fool. i can relate, i have an earth mars and venus. playing the fool will NEVER happen. but if and when someone gets the drop on me, im ashamed and embarrassed that i didnt hold back enough.
BUT
the more i think about it, im relieved to have expressed those feelings even if i wasnt totally sure of the answer i would get. id rather know, then live in ambiguity or a dreamworld.
Posted by Nala13
I am a Leo however I have Venus conj Merc in Virgo. I have trouble expressing "good" feelings in relationships. For example, it is difficult to say warm fuzzy things to people I care about. I already have, in my head, what I think your response should be. If it is not that, I am disappointed.I do not have an issue expressing negative emotions. I am very judgmental and critical.
Venus in Virgo is a really rough placement in terms of emotions.
True, I have a hard time expressing good feelings too. The reason for this is that I don't want my relationship to change because of my saying those good feelings. I like status quo. @_@
so interesting, ive heard my virgo friend say the same thing. they never want things to change. she says that "titles" change people.
The earth part of me wants status quo especially when that status quo has already made me comfortable with it. It's just hard to change my relationships with anyone. It takes a lot of thoughts to make me realize that it's time for change. And yet we're Mutable. I guess we're only Mutable academe-wise. LOL.
click to expand
earth takes time to dig themselves into things and to dig yourself out of things.
Posted by DMV
im learning that you guys are very prideful and dont want to be made the fool. i can relate, i have an earth mars and venus. playing the fool will NEVER happen. but if and when someone gets the drop on me, im ashamed and embarrassed that i didnt hold back enough.BUT
the more i think about it, im relieved to have expressed those feelings even if i wasnt totally sure of the answer i would get. id rather know, then live in ambiguity or a dreamworld.
Yeahp, I don't want to be made the fool. @_@ and it seems that the more i grow old, the more i have to check whether i've said something wrong... and then do something to defend myself or make myself appear to be just "cool" or unaffected by the thing that I did wrong. LOL.
Posted by MellyMel909
My problem is that I tend to be a bit selfish. Not with superficial things, like money or belongings, but with the intangibles, like feelings or connectedness. And THOSE are the things that actually matter.What good is having emotions unless you allow yourself to experience them? And how beneficial is the experience unless you allow yourself to share it?
It seems a bit like having money in the bank that you never intend to spend. And yet, to what end? You can't take it with you..
very true! i say air out those feelings and let the chips fall where they may
Posted by Nala13
I am a Leo however I have Venus conj Merc in Virgo. I have trouble expressing "good" feelings in relationships. For example, it is difficult to say warm fuzzy things to people I care about. I already have, in my head, what I think your response should be. If it is not that, I am disappointed.I do not have an issue expressing negative emotions. I am very judgmental and critical.
Venus in Virgo is a really rough placement in terms of emotions.
True, I have a hard time expressing good feelings too. The reason for this is that I don't want my relationship to change because of my saying those good feelings. I like status quo. @_@
so interesting, ive heard my virgo friend say the same thing. they never want things to change. she says that "titles" change people.
The earth part of me wants status quo especially when that status quo has already made me comfortable with it. It's just hard to change my relationships with anyone. It takes a lot of thoughts to make me realize that it's time for change. And yet we're Mutable. I guess we're only Mutable academe-wise. LOL.
I have a lesbian Virgo friend who married another Virgo, she said it took them 4 years to realize they were meant for each other...lol
I see how that works for them, you get a chance to build a stable relationship and get to know a person through the years. Granted, you may date around for a bit, but if you always come back to that one person....It is meant to be.
click to expand
You know, I have this one Virgo friend... and I'm always scared to ask her out... always thinking that it might not last forever coz we're both Virgos and we're both ultra-nerdy... and we're both law students who passed the cpa boards... and we're both from the same schools (undergrad and law school)... I know there's a spark between us but I'm always scared coz we're the same on sooo many aspects... and I'm also scared because I might just be gunning for her coz she's ultra-bright (like placed #5 in the cpa board exams)...
totally true Sagtastic!
stupid CPA exams. as long as i pass, im good
Posted by DMV
stupid CPA exams. as long as i pass, im good
LOL. You're a CPA? My friend is #5. LOL. And she has just taken the bar. Very bright. @_@
Posted by DMV
stupid CPA exams. as long as i pass, im goodLOL. You're a CPA? My friend is #5. LOL. And she has just taken the bar. Very bright. @_@
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hahah, yes i am more than just the queen of blowjobs
Sounds like me. _
I think we just think too much sometimes and that what holds us up. We just need time, if we feel pressured or forced. It will likely conclude to us rescinding. I think we fear love actually, or better yet the emotional vulnerability that comes with being in real true love... Which is quite ironic since that seems to be what we are seeking.
We are the sign of the Virgin. There is a part of us that we almost want to save for ourselves to remain white as snow and pure as a white wedding dress. Lol. Sounds corny but it's true. What most don't know is virgo has ALOT OF PRIDE. Even the women.
I'm willing to bet a Virgo woman alone, has more pride than maybe even other male signs... We hide it well behind our big doe eyes and girlish smiles.
I think also we tend to shy away because we tend to know our power. But sometimes become insecure of that power and decide to not make a move... Making us passive aggressive. In past relations I've wanted so bad to give in to my feelings but something just wouldn't let me let go.
I think first, we have to decide what we want and stick to it... Draw that line in the sand.
2nd, we need to think about what it is we want and not how anyone else will think about what we want or feel!! THAT gets me every time. Virgo's tend to put ppl's opinions high on the priority list.
And, lastly... We need to strengthen our decision making skills and be comfortable before and most impor
You know you messed up right....lol This is one of those 'precious' moments I treasure in my friendships with Virgo women. Am I the only one who fills privileged to read this?!?!?
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Awwww... We can be cheesy!! I love Sags to...my sister and dad are both sags!! You guys are so cool easy going ppl!!
Posted by Nala13
I am a Leo however I have Venus conj Merc in Virgo. I have trouble expressing "good" feelings in relationships. For example, it is difficult to say warm fuzzy things to people I care about. I already have, in my head, what I think your response should be. If it is not that, I am disappointed.I do not have an issue expressing negative emotions. I am very judgmental and critical.
Venus in Virgo is a really rough placement in terms of emotions.
Nala13, can you tell me a limitless more about Venus in Vigo? I have the same placement with sun in libra.. My love is Venus in Libra sun moon and mercury in Virgo.... He will never come out and say outright that he loves me but will say I love your tenacity I love your hair I love your etc etc but when he looks at me so intent I know... We know... Then he disappears for a couple weeks... It literally drives me crazy but in a good way...
Thank you for all these wonderful insights... It really helps me to learn how to deal with my Virgo.
Well with Venus in Virgo it does not come naturally for me to hug and kiss. My sister who happens to be a Virgo with a Venus in Libra is so lovey dovey that I am envious. She kisses and hugs everyone it is natural to her.
The one virgo I dated was the most straight forward guy I ever dated. He was so nice and thoughtful. And I was never confused about how he felt about me. And when we broke up it was fine.
Also other virgo guys i've known have been really great. One of my best girlfriends is a virgo and she is really sweet and reliable. I don't know but I really like virgos a lot.
Posted by Nala13
Well with Venus in Virgo it does not come naturally for me to hug and kiss. My sister who happens to be a Virgo with a Venus in Libra is so lovey dovey that I am envious. She kisses and hugs everyone it is natural to her.
I have to admit I have a hard time with that too, except with my Virgo... He seems to be one person I literally cannot keep my hands off!
Exactly what form of emotional "expression" are we dealing with here? Verbal demonstration? Physical affection? Gifts or 'acts of service'? Sexual intimacy?
I don't know about how anyone else handles these areas of life but to me they are all categorically different from one another and require their own unique approaches in my mind. This isn't a topic can be neatly summed up in a few sentences.
Posted by tiziani
Virgos are selective. That's all really. Maybe they could do with lightening up every once in a while, but as long as they're not harming anyone I don't see why people feel so entitled to know what's going on underneath barely a few minutes after you've first met someone.
This is what makes it so special...
Posted by tiziani
Virgos are selective. That's all really. Maybe they could do with lightening up every once in a while, but as long as they're not harming anyone I don't see why people feel so entitled to know what's going on underneath barely a few minutes after you've first met someone.
+1
Posted by tiziani
I know what you mean, and believe me I can see it from both sides. I have indeed seen people, not just Virgos, who have massively high standards placed upon others but consciously abuse the people they know are trying to meet those standards by turning it into a game of acceptance and bargaining.But on the other hand getting to know someone who isn't an open book of emotional opera can have great advantages down the line. They have strong boundaries and they won't just go spilling your business to the next stranger they come across on the street when they're having a vilnerable day.
As a logical sign myself, I'll take the devil I know over the devil I don't.
I guess it's just a preference. It makes sense you would chose for the discrete person since you have placements in Virgo yourself. You can relate.
However I don't entirely agree that just because you're emotionally open you're less trustworthy or more likely to talk behind someone's back. It's a bit more grey than that imo.
Virgo's in general are good friends though and don't put your business out true. However as partners they can be private emotionally and in a partnership I personally find that to be selfish and unproductive if you want to make it work.
But then again I'm the opposite so yeah.click to expand
^^^^^
Being discrete and being closed in a relationship are two completely different things.
I'll keep whatever I consider private, private. but I wont steer you in the wrong direction or set you up for failure, I'll make sure my actions are fair to you. On the flip side I do demand absolute openness and honesty, to the point where I dont want to have to ask, if its something you think I may have a stake or interest in knowing, the information should be volunteered upfront. If I cant see those requirements at least being eventually filled by a person, I wont let the relationship progress past a certain point, I'll keep a certain amount of detachment. (ie virgin, untouched by the other party) for example if I feel like I'm getting 90% of a person I'll give like 40% myself. The other 60% is emotionally untapped by this person. I have to be getting a steady 100% to show my whole self. Of course on the outside that gets interpreted as a seeming lack of emotion when in actually its more of hindered expression. People sometimes accuse me of being fake which is highly inaccurate because I'm always technically speaking the truth and I'm not pretending or faking something I dont feel. However I am burying or limiting the expression of emotion until I feel I can express it 'perfectly' in relation to how much connection I've allowed myself to FEEL with the other person. If I'm at 100% connection/investment or if I'm mad enough I'll just say it as it comes and fully allow it to express in the moment. Anything less than 100% and I'll pick and choose how much I want to express and how I'll express it.
I assume thats what most people are referring to when they say virgo's are fake but they can rarely put their finger on what exactly they feel is fake about the virgo because its not the usual pretending that 'fake' people do. Its not me pretending in order to deceive and win a prize from someone but it is acting in order to be 'perfect' inside my own self absorption.
Posted by Sagtastic1
@FirebunnyAwwww how cute!
Why don't you "Arrange" to meet up for some reason (or run into your friend) and let the universe do its work.
hEY THANKS! OMG @_@ Maybe she's the one I've been waiting for all my life. 🙂
I feel often times Virgo's demand absolute openness and honesty but can't deliver it themselves.
This happens all the time. And not just openness ....
they make demands of respect, loyalty, trust, to name a few ... but, refuse reciprocate
I assume thats what most people are referring to when they say virgo's are fake but they can rarely put their finger on what exactly they feel is fake about the virgo because its not the usual pretending that 'fake' people do. Its not me pretending in order to deceive and win a prize from someone but it is acting in order to be 'perfect' inside my own self absorption.
How can you expect someone to give you 100% when you're reciprocating 40% ?!?! That's not logical nor is it fair to the other person who is giving there "all" (or damn near close to it). This is a selfish defense mechanism to preserve YOUR vulnerability when in actuality is the very thing that makes others want to give there all to you, not just 90% .
This tactic only prolongs the inevitable in life which is..... You WILL be hurt AND disappointed by people. POINT BLANK and there is no amount of self-preservation that can prevent it. What happens is, you spend an unscrupulous amount of time investing 40% of yourself only to leave the other person feeling undervalued and un appreciated.
click to expand
I'm aware of this
Posted by tiziani
Virgos are selective. That's all really. Maybe they could do with lightening up every once in a while, but as long as they're not harming anyone I don't see why people feel so entitled to know what's going on underneath barely a few minutes after you've first met someone.This is what makes it so special...
not to me personally, but to each their own. I certainly do tend to trust them more than people who don't exercise any discretion.
Hmm, there is a fine line between being private and being too private imo. I prefer an open book over the latter one. There needs to be a certain amount of openness for any relationship to work and I feel often times Virgo's demand absolute openness and honesty but can't deliver it themselves.
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Agreed
Have you ever thought that why we withdrawal is something we may lack in a relationship or our emotional lives. We give and YOU (other signs) get up and arms because you can't get am emotional response that your looking for. We withdrawal our support because most people can't live up to the expectations of being with a virgo. Who can match our devotion?
Posted by VirgoChyld
Have you ever thought that why we withdrawal is something we may lack in a relationship or our emotional lives. We give and YOU (other signs) get up and arms because you can't get am emotional response that your looking for. We withdrawal our support because most people can't live up to the expectations of being with a virgo. Who can match our devotion?What are the expectations of being with a Virgo?
click to expand
To be honest, as a laidback Virgo guy who just wants to have fun in the world, I don't expect anything from my other half in return. I don't think that is "true love." That's why whenever some girl asks me to do something to her or asks me some favor, I would have already made up my mind because I don't want "possessive girls."
Posted by VirgoChyld
Have you ever thought that why we withdrawal is something we may lack in a relationship or our emotional lives. We give and YOU (other signs) get up and arms because you can't get am emotional response that your looking for. We withdrawal our support because most people can't live up to the expectations of being with a virgo. Who can match our devotion?What are the expectations of being with a Virgo?
To be honest, as a laidback Virgo guy who just wants to have fun in the world, I don't expect anything from my other half in return. I don't think that is "true love." That's why whenever some girl asks me to do something to her or asks me some favor, I would have already made up my mind because I don't want "possessive girls."
I don't understand this part however, I DO understand not wanting to be possessed. I think that's why some of my closest/distance friendships are with Virgos. We truly understand the need for space.
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It's about a girl who wants to have a relationship with me. Two girls have done that. I don't like it. Asking me to do something like "wear pink" before the date or something like that.
Lol.... Man oh Man... Here we go again... The mystery of the Virgo Emotional Aloofness... ——?
Lol.... Man oh Man... Here we go again... The mystery of the Virgo Emotional Aloofness... ——?
Posted by Ixion120
There are levels to this ish; not every person who I have talked to measures up..I am sure it is vice-versa.I was just talking about this with someone else on the site..my level of comfort in "expressing myself" in one way or another is largely dependent on the relation that I have developed with that person.
Friends are friends, acquaintances are acquaintances, I know who my friends and what type of friend that they are...and who isn't.
You may get the title friend and in my mind you are one but I may not share certain things with you, because we don't share that rapport. It works for me but if it doesn't work for the other party then they need to decide what to do on their end.
+1. Pretty much sums it up.
Posted by Ixion120
There are levels to this ish; not every person who I have talked to measures up..I am sure it is vice-versa.I was just talking about this with someone else on the site..my level of comfort in "expressing myself" in one way or another is largely dependent on the relation that I have developed with that person.
Friends are friends, acquaintances are acquaintances, I know who my friends and what type of friend that they are...and who isn't.
You may get the title friend and in my mind you are one but I may not share certain things with you, because we don't share that rapport. It works for me but if it doesn't work for the other party then they need to decide what to do on their end.
I agree. From what I understand from sagtastic's post, it seems that the percentages don't really matter or factor in. I think their mutual dissatisfaction arises not from the efforts each has made but from their mutual inability to deliver what each partner truly wants from the other. It's not that Virgos are emotionally lazy to deliver but rather it seems that they're just mutually incompatible. Requesting from the other to do more is mutually exhaustive and stressful, they just ought to end their relationship coz they're not getting what they wanted/needed from each other. And I would not be surprised if we hear her boyfriend say exactly the same thing about her!
And yeahp, it always depends on the relations (specifically the LEVEL of relationship) you have developed with the other person. Deep/strong relationship makes it easier to satisfy what your partner wants. It's kind of unfair to attribute this to the sun sign just because we've always been said to be EMOTIONALLY DISTANT when the thing is, we just don't CRY CRY as easily as the other signs because we are more stable.
Posted by VirgoChyld
Have you ever thought that why we withdrawal is something we may lack in a relationship or our emotional lives. We give and YOU (other signs) get up and arms because you can't get am emotional response that your looking for. We withdrawal our support because most people can't live up to the expectations of being with a virgo. Who can match our devotion?What are the expectations of being with a Virgo?
click to expand
Simple give what they give to you and be there for them. And be loyal, and we want to be wanted.
Posted by VirgoChyld
Have you ever thought that why we withdrawal is something we may lack in a relationship or our emotional lives. We give and YOU (other signs) get up and arms because you can't get am emotional response that your looking for. We withdrawal our support because most people can't live up to the expectations of being with a virgo. Who can match our devotion?this is BS, wasn't cancer chick devoted to you, and guess what you took for her granted, when is that you show these girls devotion? After they have given everything and you've taken it all, enough to rub them of their own self identities.
i call BS on this
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Taken her for granted sure, and i treated her like she supposed to be treated CC. Just like a cancer, with the victim card, why me? Chill with the princess complex. Devotion is how I treat her also be there for her, and showing her my loyalty. I made her better.
I answered your call on calling my stance bs 😉
Posted by CluelessCancer
Oh oh it's VIRGO make up SHIT day! They're so devoted! and so Loyal and So trustworthy.BS BS BS BS BS
this just disgusts me. im tired of the continuous BS.
Don't lump all of us the same cause you have problems with a virgo, did I profile you cause your a cancer? No, I didn't. Another cancer trait profiling us Virgos as the same. CC your better than that.
I must be the odd one..? i can express my emotions easily
have venus in virgo. could it be because of my mars in scorpio? u know..acting on my emotions. bammm haha. but I will control if i choose to, it's within my control, to express/show it or not..now or later. At this age, I'm not holding back..told myself life is short I can die anytime, so show it babehh
Word, life is too short to be afraid of rejection.
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Virgos, let's try to help one another. I do have a problem when it comes to expressing my emotions. Now, let's tackle these here.
Please: for spectators, don't ruin this thread by bullying us Virgos or by insulting us... because by doing so, you're not helping us in any way.
For Virgos: please don't feed the trolls and please, let's just focus on the issue so we'll know what to do with this issue.
Thanks.