True Life: Modeling may be ruining my dating life

I feel like modeling is what a person does, but isn't necessarily that person as a whole, I have another job but modeling is the thing I put my heart and soul into. After being in nothing but long-term relationships over the years I have started dating again (Been trying that out for about a year), and its been a strange but interesting experience. I met a guy (leo) a few weeks ago walking from my car to my friends house, he seemed really eager to get to know me, had his own transportation (a nice one at that), ambitious (in his approach), very handsome and he was older (im 27 he's 40, so that's a new experience)

When I first meet guys I tell them that I'm a busy person but not completely unavailable, if they ask why im single I usually tell them that I'm working on myself and trying to get to a certain place in life first. Tonight I spoke to him on the phone for the first time and went through the "getting to know you questions", when he asked if he could see me tomorrow I let him know that I had a job to do which he asked for more clarification on since I was beating around the bush. After I told him that I was model his mood was a bit more upbeat and excited, he kept saying how he was proud of himself for knowing how to pick them and patted himself on the back (I literally heard the pats lol) He spent the rest of the time on the phone looking at my website, complementing pictures, talking business etc., which was fine but I would've preferred for both of us to get to know each other, any questions I had about him were answered but it went right back to talking about modeling.

Now to the issue, when I meet a guy and share my work with them they start to treat me differently, almost like they see me as my profession first and a person second. I dated 1 guy during my dating phase that I really liked and feel in love with, I felt like we had an understanding because he has his own fan base for his profession and thought he wouldn't find it weird or off putting to have that thrown into the equation. Can't say if my job had anything to do with it not working out, he already had trust issues from a previous relationship and said he started to fear that he would start to need me.

I know everybody has different professions/hobbies and can give their input on dating in the entertainment industry or dating with an interesting job. Just had a vent on a subject that's weird to vent about and wanted some feedback

Thanks 🙂

@tiziani thanks for your input, it seems like I can't get pass the stage of dating where thats all they want to talk about, and if it does get pass that and doesn't work out it gets discouraging. Iv'e learned a lot about myself this last couple of years and know I have things to work on. When ever I vent to my friends they end it with saying "well you're beautiful and you're smart so guys will feel a certain type of way if you actually like them back" I don't like those answers but I can partially see their point, but at the same time I see myself as a regular person that loves love

I don't have a preference with dating a guy in or out of the entertainment industry, sometimes you don't have to explain why your schedule is so sporadic when ppl have experience with it. I just want understanding and someone I can understand.

Posted by TishTosh
I feel your pain! It sucks. I no longer tell people what I do for a living. Yes. I lie about my job, lol. Solved that problem. I usually wait until they get to know me as a person first.

I think i'll just let them find out or wait for the right moment.... seesh! lol

Posted by starwars
first off, I'm proud of you. second, oooooh Man, us virgos create stupid barriers for ourselves out of nowhere. I see where Tiz is coming from. It has to do with you as well, I could tell you're sensitive to being objectified (which is understandable) therefor is turned off- feel weird when they talk about your proffession in that way. take it in a positive way and laugh it off, it was funny. we dont like things to be all about us but sometimes they are and you gotta deal with it. once you see it in a different light (for what it is), you're going to enjoy the conversations and you wont find it draining. good luck homie!

Thanks! 🙂 Yea I felt like I was being slightly extra dramatic af last night lol. I giggle and blush about it while the person compliments my pictures but ya'll are right I should enjoy the moment, its just a new/weird experience that takes some getting used to

There's dudes who would be super excited to be dating a model. I wouldn't want my lady being rythmically admired by a 1,000 other dudes and I wouldn't date a model. That's just my preference. I try to avoid spotlight, glitz, glamor and all that and opt for a quiet and simple life. I mean I think that's probably part of the package when you do modelling and stuff like that- you've bought into a superficial world that values you for your exterior and not for your substance. That's just my speculation- I wouldn't know personally. I avoid that sort of thing. I'm not judging but I do think that stuff comes as part of the package. I grew up in the streets and a lot of people say I can rap and people have wanted to rap with me and start rap groups with me but I deliberately avoid rapping for similar reasons. I don't like attention. I prefer to be in the shadows. It's shaded and peaceful and I can quietly nap there.

@LilYanga11 I can understand that, I like the entertaining side of it but sometimes I like my peace, makes me think "how do ppl hide from being seen" lol apparently im good at that unless im free or really needed. I think the part that bothers me the most is that some people assume im mean (resting b*tch face) or lack substance but ppl usually find out that im the opposite. Its a good filter for people that are of shit.. very few seep through but only end up hurting themselves in the long run.

The music game is crazy too, im not really in it but I like to write and have friends that are in the industry. I can see why Nas disappears but doesn't go too far...

I met a few male models in LA. One was a complete jerk, using money to impress everyone. There was a LOT of drama when we didn't want to go to some red carpet event with Harry Potter cast. The other two were sweet as peaches! I also met some female models too. The jerk got mad my friend wouldn't get with him so he brought them along to I guess make her jealous. They seemed cold and rude to us. So I do think everyone gets judged by their job. Yours is just preceived as a stuck up self centered life. Not necessarily true.

@pinkbird03 Ive seen some cocky ones, I can't take overly cocky ppl serious and just find them entertaining. One guy said he would pay for my food (fast food) but all he had was this (tries to show $ 100) I just said it was fine and continued looking at my phone, but then he repeated it! lol

Posted by Earthboundfeline
@pinkbird03 Ive seen some cocky ones, I can't take overly cocky ppl serious and just find them entertaining. One guy said he would pay for my food (fast food) but all he had was this (tries to show $ 100) I just said it was fine and continued looking at my phone, but then he repeated it! lol

lol wow!

just change the subject when he talks about your modeling gig. turn it around so he can talk about himself instead

Enough yappin, shows ya pic then 😉 xx