Ugly Duckling syndrome

Any other Virgos feel the same??

Ive always known I'm ugly and find it fascinating when people find me attractive.

Maybe its just me?

lunatic

you're not ugly silly PB!

but I kind of know what you're getting at.
I was soooo awkward and yucky looking as an adolescent and was surrounded by beautiful sisters who skipped the mutant puberty freak stage that I was in practically from birth.

That period of life stayed with me for a long time. Even after I got older and started getting lots of attention from men I was still so self conscious.
I saw a college humour vid with a girl people were staring at because they were attracted to her and she went to the bathroom to see if something was on her face and that used to always be my reaction too.

Oh yeah but once there actually was something on my face - I smeared ink from a pen all over myself haha but anyway..

I guess Virgos are supposed to be critical so we just pick on ourselves.

To the Validation Forum!

I can relate to that when I was younger and had a lot of insecurities going on at once. I still find it weird when people find me attractive but that's because I have a warped view of what attracts 2 people..it's never related to looks in my opinion so when someone finds me attractive based on looks I just..don't really get it to be honest.

No, it's not just you, PB.

While I don't believe that it's only Virgos or those with prominent Virgo/6th house placements who have issues with ugly duckling syndrome, I will say that being naturally predisposed to attention to detail would likely exacerbate the problem. Particularly so if Libra Venus or predominate Libra influence is involved.

When an individual is inclined to pick out any slight flaw and also seeks out beauty and symmetry it becomes easy to fixate on perceived imperfections, so much so that it may become all one sees when others are happily oblivious. And if Chiron is also in hard aspect to the Sun or Venus this will become psychologically exaggerated.

Yes yes.. I find this trait is much more prominent in Libra influenced Virgos.

I almost feel like its a never ending search for beauty because your definition of it will always change (Libra) and then the reality of the matter is that you will never be the perfect example of beauty (Virgo).

I also grew up with an older sister who was much more delicate/girly, beautiful, and intelligent and my question to myself growing up (and sometimes my parents) was how come I couldnt be more like my sister.

And im not looking for validation Damnata, I am simply trying to figure out if this is a common Virgoan trait because no matter where I look every article says we are so critical of ourselves etc.

Posted by virgodreamz
you're not ugly silly PB!

but I kind of know what you're getting at.
I was soooo awkward and yucky looking as an adolescent and was surrounded by beautiful sisters who skipped the mutant puberty freak stage that I was in practically from birth.

That period of life stayed with me for a long time. Even after I got older and started getting lots of attention from men I was still so self conscious.
I saw a college humour vid with a girl people were staring at because they were attracted to her and she went to the bathroom to see if something was on her face and that used to always be my reaction too.

Oh yeah but once there actually was something on my face - I smeared ink from a pen all over myself haha but anyway..

I guess Virgos are supposed to be critical so we just pick on ourselves.

Lol. Thats a reaction I'd have too! Im so self conscious sometimes that id be like damn it there must be tp on the bottom of my shoe or hanging out of my pants hahaha

It (*seemingly) took me a little longer than most to find my confidence and stride. I was pretty sensitive and introverted as a child/adolescent, but I don't recall ever feeling "ugly" or being overly concerned with my looks. My *appearance*, perhaps - i.e. how I walked, how I spoke, the things I talked about or said - but never really my attractiveness level just for attractiveness' sake.

But I view those moments of "awkwardness" growing up as beneficial in the long run. I spent my formative years trying to develop opinions and a personality instead of focusing my attention of things outside of myself or my control. It's still a work in progress though 🙂


(*I say seemingly because that is/was just my perception; not because it's an irrefutable truth.)

Posted by Peanutbutter
Any other Virgos feel the same??

Ive always known I'm ugly and find it fascinating when people find me attractive.

Maybe its just me?

This explains the modesty of many Virgos.

Posted by CluelessCancer


What kind of Virgos do you interact with ...maybe it's cultural, but i have yet to meet a modest Virgo...shiet one friend even used to throw out i'm beautiful...comment every other day...i guess she was trying to convince somebody.
lol

Not necessarily cultural. I'm Caribbean (Haitian), and most Carribean men can be quite full of themselves, but I found most Virgos (even the Caribbean ones) quite reserved, and unaware of how sexy they're really are. I don't know, maybe it's because I have a preference for low-key individuals. Men who insist on being loud or the center of attention, I stay clear way from.

Virgos flock to me like flies. But they're NEVER aggressive in their approach. They disarm you, get to know you, move in gradually, and unassumingly draw you in.

I can't explain it.

But the humility is simply adorable.

No, that's insecurity and a strong need for reassurance.

It's so that they don't lose you, or lose your interest. 😉

Posted by CluelessCancer
I dont know if i call it the ugly duckling syndrome, but people like me who aren't really into their looks, do get surprised when others compliment us.

i always get surprised when someone throws out the word "beautiful" ...or stares at me...

and they always seem to think i know it...shrugs.

Yes the beautiful compliment... I always look around to see if there is a sports illustrated model standing behind me lol.

Idk.. its just been a theme I've noticed lately now that ive finally come into my own. Men seem attracted to confidence and self esteem and perhaps thats what they find beautiful.. being unapologetic about the person you were, are, and are becoming. 🙂

An artist can easily see the flaws in their work, whereas someone who appreciates their work can easily see the beauty in it

The above is an example of a common meta cognitive bias in which there's a miscalibration between an internal and external view on the same subject. Illusory inferiority is suffered by a large percentage of the population. However, illusory superiority is also common as well.

Almost every Virgo I've ever met had this impression that they were not physically attracted at all...which I never got. They were all attracted. One in particular was one of the most beautiful women I've ever met in my life, and yet she felt so uncomfortable being complimented on her physical beauty. Always seemed so strange to me. As a Sag I get modesty, but this was on another level, almost like she really did think she was unattractive. Craziness.

Posted by RichCap
An artist can easily see the flaws in their work, whereas someone who appreciates their work can easily see the beauty in it

The above is an example of a common meta cognitive bias in which there's a miscalibration between an internal and external view on the same subject. Illusory inferiority is suffered by a large percentage of the population. However, illusory superiority is also common as well.

Hmm... I like this. 🙂

Posted by Andalusia
It (*seemingly) took me a little longer than most to find my confidence and stride. I was pretty sensitive and introverted as a child/adolescent, but I don't recall ever feeling "ugly" or being overly concerned with my looks. My *appearance*, perhaps - i.e. how I walked, how I spoke, the things I talked about or said - but never really my attractiveness level just for attractiveness' sake.

But I view those moments of "awkwardness" growing up as beneficial in the long run. I spent my formative years trying to develop opinions and a personality instead of focusing my attention of things outside of myself or my control. It's still a work in progress though 🙂


(*I say seemingly because that is/was just my perception; not because it's an irrefutable truth.)

i totally relate to the appearance think. i do criticise myself, wondering if im smart enough, exciting enough etc. when people express that they like me i always ask if they are sure, i don't understand it. i mean i like myself, in love with myself even, i enjoy myself. i have no problem locking myself in and eat, dance, watch tv, write...ENJOY IT. but i conceal so much from people that feel like no one-one really knows me therefore how is it possible for anyone to think that they like me, i guess. i know why my sisters like me, the whole extended family, i understand that because i am a totally different person at home.

im not pretty, im cute, like overrall but people stare at me a lot, men AND and women i do not get it...people im close to say its how i walk, they say i walk like i own the world which is funny because i can't recall ever feeling like that.

You are not alone...I always chalk it up to retro Venus...but I guess its a virgo thing too.


and PB you are so not ugly in the least bit! ——— 🙂

Cant say I relate. Im fortunate to have "good" genes, plus very loving parents who would always carry positive energy, so never really had problems with self-esteem, maybe the problem was I had too much of it lol. Although Im not the best looking guy in the world, Ive always been aware I look good, in some of my teen years it was more a matter of being shy cause I didnt know what to do with all the female attention, Im not kidding you. Now Im older..I know exactly what to do with it 😛

Posted by Peanutbutter
Any other Virgos feel the same??

Ive always known I'm ugly and find it fascinating when people find me attractive.

Maybe its just me?

You have the face of a porcelain doll..what are you talking about? You are very pretty.
STOP IT!

Scorpio's don't lie to pacify either 😉

Well in Shakas ever so humble opinion..... hahaha Oh this guy...

It is often said that virgo's become more attractive with age. I most certainly am a victim of "The Ugly Duckling Syndrome".... First, let me say I feel that I am beautiful within and that is what is most important!!!

But, throughout my younger years and high school days I wasn't very sought after or attractive... I ended up getting a great job with dental benefits... Got braces and BOOM!!! My entire facial symmetry and bone structure became more defined... Every where I began to go... Strangers began swooning and staring and pointing. Old friends who hadn't seen me in a while would ask me what I did saying I looked different... Men, who I had once dated but had once mistreated me for "hotter" girls, began wanting 2nd chances _??'.... It was and still is insane.
Ugly Duckling Syndrome is REAL and quite frankly, overwhelming. When you are not used to attention and ppl being "enthralled" with something as minuscule as your looks it can become a bit of a battle to understand if ppl like you for you or your looks... And, it also makes you see that as sad as it is... Looks are high in the list for many ppl unfortunately. I just try to stay away from shallow ppl and stay humble... Because I was beautiful on the inside before my physical beauty appeared. Like the words of fellow Virgo Beyonce... "Pretty Hurts". Sometimes at least. _??_

Lol thanks LIB.

With age I have found that beauty truly comes in different forms 🙂