Virgo ..... hot and cold .....

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P-Angel
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I've talked about this before, but, of late, this question keeps coming ..... so I decided to address it again.


First, you have to keep in mind that the Virgo isn't actually changing from hot to cold, back to hot again .. this is coming from your perception, as you interpret the Virgo's behaviour based off of all the other 11 signs, who express feelings.

You will see what I mean here ^^^^ shortly.

Virgos pride themselves on being so emotionally in control, that they fail to become experts in emotional expression, like the rest of us. What we practice, live, apply .... we get better at with each new experience in which we can utilize this skill, or condition. Though, it is admirable to me that Virgos can refrain from emotional expression, at the same time, this makes them babies, amatuers in dealing with their emotions.

How can a person become stronger, and grow .... if this feeling is never dealt with because of a fear of being emotionallly out-of-control? Do you see where I'm going with this?

If you are angry, and you explode ... then after this eruption, you are able to see where you erred, what was fucked up because you actually expressed this emotion, for your own sake of knowing what anger is ....... same with all feelings, how are you to know what they are, if you don't allow yourself to feel them for experience?

this isn't to say that feelings aren't present because they are ..... it's saying that these feelings are repressed, and filed behind unblinking/unyielding eyes for us to see because if they are shown, if they are expressed then the Virgo may appear weak.


Paradox ..... the only reason it is a weakness is because of this very suppression because strength comes from bravely facing that which scares you.



Loop back ..... to an outsider, looking in, it appears that the Virgo runs from hot to cold. And it appears this way because of your interactions with other people who when they behave like the Virgo does, it is actually a changing of feelings running from hot to cold that they are expressing, so to your perception, you think the Virgo's feelings are changing from hot to cold .... and this is in error.

Their feelings aren't changing ... their feelings are unknown to them because they've never let themselves understand what they're feeling .. so what you see, in which you think is hot/cold, are these waves of emotions rushing over them, in which the Virgo immediately files because that's all it knows to do
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P-Angel
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Posted by virg_goki
Few nights ago I went to club with a few friends and the usual hitting the dance floor and drinking sessions happened, but few days later one of my friends asked me if i'd fancied any of the girls i met that night, it was all good until he reached one of them and i was stunned, as i didn't have an answer.. I didn't know what i felt or whatsoever.. It was not as clear as previously when i fancied somebody. So i want to ask the virguys in the house...

How would you respond to a girl you fancied? or.. how would you know that you like her?







Take this for example (and I'm not meaning to insult you Virg_goki, just using this for reference ......... you posted this on another thread, and other Virgos answered you, telling you how to act/behave with this girl ... which is completely oblivious to the real issue.




The real issue .... this girl, in which a friend got to contact you ...... never stirred an emotion in you, you didn't even know what, if at all, you felt anything at all.

Yet, you have fancied people before, because you said so .... because this woman contacted you, you now cannot figure out how this is suppose to feel.





Virgo's go throught thier whole lives not knowing how something is suppose to feel ... while everybody else pretty much knows how they are suppose to feel. They may not be getting this certain feeling they are looking for, but, they know how it's SUPPOSE to feel, they know what kind of feeling they seek to secure .... Virg's don't.


Alls they know is that emotions are present .... and what the fuck are they suppose to do with this ... even if the same emotion has risen a hundred times before.

And it all boils down to ...... because they suppress these emotions, rather than allowing themselves to express them out, so they can see how it effects/influences/harms/nurtures/etc, not just others, but, also for themselves. So, if something is never/rarely practiced, or dealt with properly ... then how is it possible to know how to cope?



Hopefully, for all those inquiring .... this sheds a little light. 🙂
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unbroken
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16 YearsVirgo

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I'll personally have to agree with you there P, although I do know what I am feeling and know each emotion I rarely express them, they bubble under the surface. I think mostly I fear them especially strong emotions, I really don't like to project them onto another person, silly I know.

The only times I am truly honest with my feelings and emotions and not scared to unleash them is when I am with my children or when I write!! The older I get the more I am showing how I feel as its really not something to be embarrassed about but its gonna take time lol!!
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oddball73
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Hey PA 🙂 pretty good analysis there! I think it is quite accurate, especially for the more unevolved virgo. I used to be not unlike this, but there were a few big events in my life in which I learned to acknowledge my emotions, allow myself to feel them and release them. When I was younger I would write poetry as my release.

I found that the scorpio really helped me to understand myself emotionally (and take care of my emotional self too). I don't even know how he did it, but I did observe him ALOT and I think I learned a fair whack of it from that (I normally learn alot by observing). Nowadays, i'm pretty open emotionally and I am so much happier for it 🙂

Good thread 🙂
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P-Angel
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Oddball, this question keeps coming up lately, so that's why I addressed it again. My Virgo still struggles sometimes with this, though, he's been around so long now, he pretty much knows.



This thread isn't in place to complain about a Virgo trait, for those who think it is ... I for one actually like this trait in my husband (most of the time) .. the other times when I'm not happy with it ... well, he has a shed he can go putts around in 😄


This is about perception .... when people date, they look at their new b/g friend with a set of prereqs already in place as to what is expected to take place in this relationship. They already have formulated in their minds, what body language means, signals, etc. And when it comes to the Virgo, since you guys haven't even formulated in your own minds what this is suppose to mean, then how you project out, onto your partners, cannot be determined according to what the partner concluded was the interpretation based on other people.

Hopefully, that made sense ... it does in my head.

The question at hand is running from hot to cold, this push and pull ... and people (mostly women dating male V's) are trying to understand why his feelings are constantly changing back and forth ... and they're aren't, his feelings aren't changing .. this is only in the woman's perception as she has already made an analysis of what this means according to experience with another person.

In fact, I think this is the problem with all relationships .... we approach them with a set of criteria already in place, terms of expectancy based off of another person, and not open enough to realize that we cannot expect this new person to measure up. Unfortunately, way too often, people do this .. and it's wrong, a person can only measure up to themselves.
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virgoking
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Posted by P-Angel
I've talked about this before, but, of late, this question keeps coming ..... so I decided to address it again. First, you have to keep in mind that the Virgo isn't actually changing from hot to cold, back to hot again .. this is coming from your perception, as you interpret the Virgo's behaviour based off of all the other 11 signs, who express feelings. You will see what I mean here ^^^^ shortly. Virgos pride themselves on being so emotionally in control, that they fail to become experts in emotional expression, like the rest of us. What we practice, live, apply .... we get better at with each new experience in which we can utilize this skill, or condition. Though, it is admirable to me that Virgos can refrain from emotional expression, at the same time, this makes them babies, amatuers in dealing with their emotions. How can a person become stronger, and grow .... if this feeling is never dealt with because of a fear of being emotionallly out-of-control? Do you see where I'm going with this? If you are angry, and you explode ... then after this eruption, you are able to see where you erred, what was fucked up because you actually expressed this emotion, for your own sake of knowing what anger is ....... same with all feelings, how are you to know what they are, if you don't allow yourself to feel them for experience? this isn't to say that feelings aren't present because they are ..... it's saying that these feelings are repressed, and filed behind unblinking/unyielding eyes for us to see because if they are shown, if they are expressed then the Virgo may appear weak. Paradox ..... the only reason it is a weakness is because of this very suppression because strength comes from bravely facing that which scares you. Loop back ..... to an outsider, looking in, it appears that the Virgo runs from hot to cold. And it appears this way because of your interactions with other people who when they behave like the Virgo does, it is actually a changing of feelings running from hot to cold that they are expressing, so to your perception, you think the Virgo's feelings are changing from hot to cold .... and this is in error. Their feelings aren't changing ... their feelings are unknown to them because they've never let themselves understand what they're feeling .. so what you see, in which you think is hot/cold, are these waves of emotions rushing over them, in wh
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oddball73
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17 Years500+ PostsVirgo

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Yeah I had noticed that too. It started driving me nuts so I just didn't open the threads anymore haha...Yes it makes complete sense 🙂 Haha love the bit about the shed....Lol 🙂

I'm certainly not perfect, but I always try to be the best person I can be and I think that's the most important thing. I have my moments of being an emotional retard hahahahahahaha, but that's ok with me, i'm getting there 🙂

I didn't think it was a thread for complaining at all, I thought you did a really good job at explaining something that perplexes alot of people!! And I agree with you about the whole relationship thing as well in your last paragraph...It's not that easy *not* to fall into that trap, either! It's a fine balance to try and maintain...Between knowing / having an idea of what you want, not "settling for less", but also being open minded enough to see the many different ways that good things can manifest in a relationship.
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Chatz
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Haha yes I also had to go get my Mr Virgo...he wasnt going to although he told me only the other day that he really wanted to - he claims to have self esteem issues and the fear of rejection holds him back - blah LOL

Telling your virgo you had feelings for him? I did the same and watched him run....I just learnt that the more I wanted to give the less he wanted so I let him come to me. They dont seem to feel emotions like other signs and its very easy to feel like its them being turned off (sometimes IM sure they are if its not the right person) but from my observation they dont know how to process those feelings/thoughts and need cave time to analyze and then re-analyze over and over again and thats when you might also feel they're running away from you when in fact all they need is that space and time. Of course they wont know or care that you're turning yourself inside out thinking that you did something wrong when in fact you probably didnt.

Its very difficult to understand the cycle and its taken me a long time and I had the help of somebody who does understand to put it to me in laymans terms as to what it all meant.

Sometimes I feel like Ive had to re-programme myself and my thinking to understand him. I know all too well though when he wants and needs space and I just give it now and do my own thing, he always comes back in a good frame of mind and Im sure he appreciates his peace and quiet coz I have to say he thinks a LOT and it must hurt lol
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Cajunspirit
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17 Years1,000+ PostsVirgo

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hikoro, A Virgo man wants an Angel in public and a Devil behind close doors, one that claims him as her own.

Virgos are sensitive, especially about rejection. If you leave the slightest hint that you can or will reject him, he will not walk forward. You must assure him in your convictions, without being overly emotional.

Just keep cool and be objective, simple.
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Cajunspirit
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17 Years1,000+ PostsVirgo

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hikoro, it has little to do with "relationship material".

As pisceseyes said, oft time we are very meticulous in our "Weeding" processes.
Other times, we are cautious about committing to something or someone we are not sure about.
Sometimes, we don't want to be "locked down" and would rather do things on our own times.

He likes you, obviously, that's why he is still with you. We don't evaluate from the get go, where the relationship will go when we have already accepted our "attraction". If we are not attracted, we will not pursue.