Virgo Sun, Scorpio rising, Taurus moon man

Can anyone give me some insight on this combination? I've been dating a man with the above for 11 months and would appreciate any advice. Even though we've been together for almost a year, I feel like a barely know him. He has impenetrable walls I can't break through, despite my best efforts.

I'm a Libra sun, Sagittarius rising, Sagittarius moon girl.

That's my chart; and, my first wife is a Libra.

It's not a good match for a Libra Woman. Mental harmonies, but almost 100% opposites emotionally.

He has impenetrable walls I can't break through, despite my best efforts.

They're not walls -- they're layers. If you haven't gotten to his core in almost a year, you probably never will.

Quit while you're ahead. Find yourself a Sagittarius Man, or maybe an Aries. The passion is on the surface with those guys.

I think that people are dual-cored -- as in they have both a personal core and an emotional core (heart vs. brain). I've gotten to my Virgo's personal core -- what I consider to be the driving force behind his thoughts and actions -- and in his case, is an absolute terror of being anything less than "perfect". Fear of imperfection drives him. It's what gets him up in the morning. That being said, he has no actual ability to describe what "perfect" is, but relentlessly chases after this nebulous ideal with an "I'll know it when I feel it" type attitude, disregarding anyone's feelings/needs but his own in the process. He's constantly changing, and his entire person is in a perpetual state of flux because of his quest for absolute perfection. He'll become obsessed with personal improvement projects (he'll randomly announce "I've decided to become a vegan," or "I've decided to start trading futures" or "I've decided to run a marathon next month" or "I've decided to only part my hair on the left from now on", etc etc.) and obsess about it 24/7 for two weeks and then drop it like a bad habit, kicking himself for coming up with such a "stupid idea" in the first place. This entire mentality is what his personal core is, and he's allowed me to to see it.

Posted by ShakenNotStirred


He has impenetrable walls I can't break through, despite my best efforts.

They're not walls -- they're layers. If you haven't gotten to his core in almost a year, you probably never will.

Now that being said, I have never touched his emotional core. These are the "walls" I spoke of. To be honest, I've never met such a high-functioning, socially adept human being that has been so emotionally barren. Seemingly devoid of empathy. Entirely unromantic and computer-like. He doesn't even like being touched. I jokingly refer to him as having a "3 second rule." If I hug him, squeeze his hand, touch his head, etc. my hands better be off him within 3 seconds or he physically removes them, or moves away. It's so strange because he wasn't like this for the first month of our relationship. We had sex on our first date (I literally jumped him) and the way he cuddled and held me afterwards was so tender and intimate. He pursued me hard after that, and we became official about 3 weeks later. But a week or so after we became official... his behavior started changing.

He stopped cuddling and his physical expressions of affection became few and far between. He started expressing discomfort when I would try to be physically close to him, and now he barely ever touches me except for when we have sex, a kiss hello and goodbye, or when he's drunk. No words of affirmation. No compliments. No gifts. I've tried talking to him several times about the intimacy issues/emotional lack in our relationship, and his response was always something along the lines of "I guess I'm not an emotional guy." But strangely, when I tried talking to him again 3 weeks ago about how he never holds me anymore, or lets me touch him or embrace him for longer than a few seconds, he looked confused and upset, and after a long silence he responded: "I guess I'm afraid of being hurt by you." Which makes no sense. He won't hold me because he thinks ill hurt him? @_@

His language of love is expressed through acts of service and being helpful (usually in the form of "constructive criticism"), and I know he loves me because he tries to be helpful, so I don't need words of affirmation, per se (although it would be wonderful for me). I communicate affection through touch and words, but FEEL most loved through touch. The lack of that is so difficult for me, and I don't know why he stopped being physically affectionate, since he had no problems with touch in the beginning of our relationship. I know he doesn't want to break up, because he's still here, and has said as much.