Wants to hangout?

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sv
@sv
13 YearsVirgo

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Posted by WaterCup
I guess you'll know the answer to that on Friday. But please don't sleep with him, stand your ground to get him to respect you. How I wish I knew that earlier on (lesson learned!). My mouth & body were out of sync for a while until I realised that I was sending mixed signals, and had little chance of being believed.



Don't get that part. Withholding sex because of some idiotic rule is childish and illogical unless you don't want it.
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WaterCup
@WaterCup
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Posted by sv
Posted by WaterCup
I guess you'll know the answer to that on Friday. But please don't sleep with him, stand your ground to get him to respect you. How I wish I knew that earlier on (lesson learned!). My mouth & body were out of sync for a while until I realised that I was sending mixed signals, and had little chance of being believed.



Don't get that part. Withholding sex because of some idiotic rule is childish and illogical unless you don't want it.
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I get it & she got it (the answer was meant for her after all & not YOU, so I dont care if you get it or not)
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WaterCup
@WaterCup
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Posted by beebee1073
Posted by sv
Posted by WaterCup
I guess you'll know the answer to that on Friday. But please don't sleep with him, stand your ground to get him to respect you. How I wish I knew that earlier on (lesson learned!). My mouth & body were out of sync for a while until I realised that I was sending mixed signals, and had little chance of being believed.



Don't get that part. Withholding sex because of some idiotic rule is childish and illogical unless you don't want it.



It's no so much because of a rule that I am withholding sex, it's because if I do have sex then all my words become meaningless. It's more about a trust in how I acknowledge the weight of my words, and taking responsibilty for my actions and statements. If I have sex with him, then that kind of says that I'm a bit immature because I haven't truly thought things through and went on a whim on my present emotions without knowing the long term consequences of my actions.

And besides, it would bite a bit off my own pride to see that I can't even be trusted for my own promises or words. I value trust and honesty greatly, so I view what I say to others just as important as making life changes. Either way, you can't take them back because they live in the past once you do it.
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True
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sv
@sv
13 YearsVirgo

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Sex is not something you plan. The whole notion of thinking a guy doesn't respect you if you sleep with him is nonsense. This is only true if you sleep with more than one guy per week, regularly.
Women do this, make up imaginary rules than really have no place in human relationships. Don't complicate things that don't need it, life is complicated enough as it is.
You should go with your present emotions and if he doesn't like it then he doesn't deserve you.
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WaterCup
@WaterCup
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Posted by CluelessCancer
Posted by WaterCup
Posted by sv
Okay, another Bob Marley...sigh.



Is there another one? To my understanding, there's ONLY ONE Robert Nesta "Tuff Gong" Marley & noone here claimed to be him, or was impesonating him. What's your point? Are you looking for an unnecessary arguement or something?



+1
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Oh, that's what s/he meant! I've never really looked at your avi CC. Rastafari!! LOL
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WaterCup
@WaterCup
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Posted by Sagtastic1
Posted by sv
Sex is not something you plan. The whole notion of thinking a guy doesn't respect you if you sleep with him is nonsense. This is only true if you sleep with more than one guy per week, regularly.
Women do this, make up imaginary rules than really have no place in human relationships. Don't complicate things that don't need it, life is complicated enough as it is.
You should go with your present emotions and if he doesn't like it then he doesn't deserve you.

And this comes from the mouth of a man. It's too hard for differentiate sex and emotions, and thus we get dupped by a man who only wants to put his thing in us and eat a sandwich. Women are not objects and it has been proven that men DO NOT respect a woman who would give "herself" away that easy in relation to potentially creating a real "relationship" with her.

How did you feel about the loose girl in high school (beside trying to get in line to bang her)?
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I totally agree. I've learned a lot from "stand by your word" when it comes to dealing with men. Been struggling with an ex too, told him many times to not call me, yet I turned around & took his calls when my mood was right- making him not to believe me next time when I say "stop calling me!" Big mistake. Stand your ground & don't waver if he can't give you the type of relationship you want. I really recommend the "black girls are easy" site. Real relationship lessons are taught in there & none of this dxp judgmental know-it-all bs. Click "Spartans" & get a schooling about relationships from a guy who knows what he's talking about.
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sv
@sv
13 YearsVirgo

Comments: 0 · Posts: 329 · Topics: 2
Posted by Sagtastic1
Posted by sv
Sex is not something you plan. The whole notion of thinking a guy doesn't respect you if you sleep with him is nonsense. This is only true if you sleep with more than one guy per week, regularly.
Women do this, make up imaginary rules than really have no place in human relationships. Don't complicate things that don't need it, life is complicated enough as it is.
You should go with your present emotions and if he doesn't like it then he doesn't deserve you.

And this comes from the mouth of a man. It's too hard for differentiate sex and emotions, and thus we get dupped by a man who only wants to put his thing in us and eat a sandwich. Women are not objects and it has been proven that men DO NOT respect a woman who would give "herself" away that easy in relation to potentially creating a real "relationship" with her.

How did you feel about the loose girl in high school (beside trying to get in line to bang her)?
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Well, it didn't sound like he just "put his thing in her and ate a sandwich", friends with benefits isn't that. I've heard there are guys who can just do that but I'm not one of them and don't really know anyone who is like that either, must be a different sort of crowd.
This is cultural as well, most women here are American and go by American values. I've had sex with girls who I have known for long but never had a relationship or really dated, doesn't make me respect them any less.

Who says girls should switch attention from guy to guy that fast? If you read my previous comment again, I specifically mentioned that sluttiness and sleeping with someone you like quickly aren't the same thing.
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sv
@sv
13 YearsVirgo

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Posted by beebee1073

Yea I agree, sex isn't something you should plan because then that kind of takes the passion out of sex and the spontaneity of it. Also, I still agree with what Watercup said, but this isn't about whether or not he repsects me because he already said so. Thus far, I know that he respects me so I'm not worried about it. The only way I think he won't respect me though is if I go back on my own words and give in, not taking my own words seriously. This is a matter of my own respect for myself. Not him.

And in my opinion, I don't really agree with what you said with women making imaginary rules. I admit that many rules or guidelines that women make or tell to others, may be kind of misplaced or not said correctly, but I feel that their intentions are to express what expectations they have for themselves. I just feel that they incorrectly direct them onto others/guys. Like when women say:

"No good respectable guy will want to have sex on the first date."

There are alot of good respectable guys who WILL want to have sex on the first date, but in this case I feel that women who might say something like this are trying to put these expectations on themselves and not onto the guys. Indirectly, they are kind of saying they themselves don't want to be the kind of woman who will have sex on the first date.

Men can be simple, while women can be complicated. It's what makes us different. I feel like men are confused about how complicated women can be when they see things for what it is. Women are confused with men because they cannot understand how guys see things so simple with no additional meaning behind it.

A question like: What is the sun?

A guy might answer: A sun or the light that gives us day
A woman might answer: Without the sun, there would be no life and therefore we would no exist

Just an example, but to note for those who might get offended because they think I assume too much, I



Women when young make the assumption that girls are complicated and guys are simple. Let me save you some time and tell you how wrong that is. Men are complex in ways you simply don't notice, as men don't notice complexities about women.

This whole thread is turning into a femin...ism/azy seminar- men are simply dogs who just want to get the tip wet while women are complex, thoughtful, longer term thinking and sophisticated. So better leave it at
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You know, every one has had something worthwhile to,contribute to your quandary and in the general scheme of things they could all be right...

But come on. When a guy says let's hang... I mean. I wouldn't place too much stock in his feelin anything other than trying to get some.
Are you not worth a little more effort? Seriously?
I don't mean like a hoe that holds out and plays several guys who dish out dough taking her to dinner, buying her shit in the hopes of getting in her panties...
But I mean when a man respects a woman, he can get off his behind and take you out for a meal and get to know you, right?
As opposed to having you come round to his place and chill like a homie while he plays frikken x-box and you can just reheat some mac and cheese and sit on his lap talk about the first thing that pops up, ya know?

When a man knows your worth he invests.
This doesn't equal money, this equals quality time. This equals getting to know you.Not "hanging out".
And with that in mind, it's your call.... He may just need a little encouragement =)