What does he want from me—

My virgo and I (virgo too) are really close friends. Well, as close as two people can possibly be without an "emotional connection" (he is emotionally stunted to put it mildly). We hit it off really great a year ago now. He spends as much time around me as he can. He usually talks to me constantly. Although every now and then he just decides to stop talking to me for a few days, but that is only short term and everything goes back to normal. (nothing happens to cause this, he just stops talking).

I fell hard for him many many months ago, and much of the time I think he likes me too. By the way he acts towards me. Other people see it too. I am constantly being approached by friends and coworkers, out of nowhere, to tell me they think he likes me.

However, if I ever try to bring up anything too personal or too emotional. He gets extremely uncomfortable and closes off. If anyone says anything about the two of us being together. I get the same reaction. He freaks out and goes into his shell. Much of the time he acts like he could care less when I talk about anything personal about my life, but yet he can't stay away from me. He's always right there.

Ugh, it is so hard to convey this problem appropriately.

Everyone tells me I should just ask him out. I want to, but the way that he is I am afraid he will run if I am wrong. If he doesn't run, I am afraid that we will never be able to overcome the awkwardness (we are both so shy and reserved). Guys, I don't know what to do here. Any help or insight would be greatly appreciated...

you recognize his low emotional potential so leave it, talking is a no no, you will do more harm ASKING which EQUATES TO PUSHING AND PRESSURE and he will run which is his pattern and way of dealing with issues that make him feel uncomfortable, if he's interested then let him man up and ask you out even if it takes years lol, having a successful good looking man around might light a fire up his ass, go date other men and see how he reacts to that, I'm sure he will not be fond of another man sniffing around his territory, if you make him feel SAFE, feel like he never has to worry about losing you then he's never going to get off his lazy scary ass and ask you out.

Thanks Tiki.

He seems to get jealous if other guys come up and talk to me at work. Either he gets up and comes and joins the convo, or he slides back from his desk and cuts his eyes (thinks I can't see that) and listens. So yeah, maybe a date or something like that would finally put his ass in gear. I've tried to walk away before, because I just couldn't take the frustration anymore.(Hardest thing I have ever done) I just started ignoring him and stopped talking to him all together. That just caused him to start hanging around even more for a while. Until he knew things were back to normal.

Its been a year. I am so emotionally drained from the roller coaster ride he puts me on daily. Normally, I can just say "screw this" with most guys. I can't with him, I've tried numerous times. Believe me. He's got me good.

My suggestion and I know you have tried it before it so create some distance between the 2 of you for the sake of your own well being. You can say to him, text it, email it, however you choose:

I feel so bad, so vulnerable, so lost and sad. I feel like I haven't taken care of myself. I can't handle seeing you. It feels too bad. I can't be your friend, and I don't want to be your friend until I no longer feel attached to you. So
please give me some space.

I am not saying you have to take my suggestion, but if your tired and drained from the roller coaster ride and your not BENEFITING from him being in your life then that should tell you that this isn't a healthy situation for you, he's not giving nor putting in enough of his energy to sustain you and make you feel good around him, you do have the option of telling him you need space, that you feel more than friendship and because it's not mutually expressed it's causing you hurt and you would like to be able to manage yourself better around him, yet until then it's better that you 2 stop interacting.

Not sure if it's an option but transferring out of the department could be a good start, it's your responsibiility to put YOU first, if someone isn't bringing happiness and satisfaction into your life then you are responsible for the level of control and power you allow a man to have over you. The hardest thing to do is let go for awhile, it's not permanent, besides you may find he's not really what you want it's just his RESISTANCE to giving into you that keeps you clinging on and completely focused on him, I find that these kind of men will ENCOURAGE you to chase so he can run away, stop chasing and he will stop running, many women get caught up with these selfish scary on my term only assclowns, the RESISTANCE is the hook, hard to get men are hugely attractive to some women, once she's hooked in she can't stop chasing him, she's completely immersed in getting what she wants, it's definitely a roller coaster ride, get off before you get sick.

Thanks again Tiki....

I don't know. I have got to do some serious thinking. He and I made some serious strides in our relationship earlier in the week. Stuff that would be small to most people, but for us it was huge. By today, we had regressed to our norm. Is he worth all of this? Yeah he is.. Can I handle it? Now that is the question. I am just going to have to think on it.

I can tell you this, if your waiting then your investing and the one whose doing the most investing is the one that has less power and will HOLD ON to the relationshp way beyond it's expiration date, the longer you wait, the longer you allow things on his terms, the more powerless you will feel and you will have zero to no leverage in this relationship, when you stay with commitment phobic men you opt out of having any say in anything, you end up dong it all on his terms and your stuck, your stuck with a man that has zero to no investment with you, he's invested in being able to CONTROL you but he has no emotional investment and without it your screwed and he holds all the cards.

If you truly want a real relationship with him or any man your starting off all wrong and your bound to get hurt if you stay with a man whose emotional capacity is low, meaning he isn't able to bond with a woman in a way that makes him feel invested which makes him want to compromise and maintain and move forward with you, he will always maintain the status quo, he will always do just enough but nothing more than that, he will always lag behind and drag his feet with you.

At some point your going to have to help him figure out what his fear is about and/or decide to create distance for your own emotional safety. Roller coaster rides are exciting and fun if your not interested in anything real with a man....so yes you have to figure out why your allowing this man to have so much control over you.

If your tired and just venting then this is the place to do it, if you truly want to move forward well there are plenty of insightful people here to help you get on track, maybe your not ready to let him go, if so then I'm sure you can manage things, we women love to fix and change things and maybe thats why your in it, the challenge keeps you consumed and occupied until something bettter shows up.

I'm currently doing this with my virgo that i have feelings for. I'm distancing myself from him because i feel for him and can't be just friends when this is going on. I know he likes me but is real scared of commitment and stuff so when we began to get real close...he started flirting with other girls and whenever someone asks him if he likes me.....he says he doesn't.

The sad part is is that he won't stop staring at me and i get the feeling that what i'm doing is hurting him...like he can't figure out why i'm avoiding him....so i'm trying to let it go but it feels like he won't let it go. He mirrios what i do anyway.

This is the same with my virgo ---i decided to end it and when he got back into the country last saturday he went out to a party and my friends were there which he knew would be there and he expected to see me but i didnt go. The next day he text me telling me he was back home and asked if i was ok etc i never replied then hours later he called me but i missed the call and i never called back (i would normally call him back) the next day he called again --i missed the call once more but i didnt call back either then he called again and this time i answered. We spoke for a while and he asked to see me i said no but he kept asking and i still didnt want to see him. He called me later on in the night but i was out so i didnt take the call. He never called back and neither did i. Couple days pass--about 2 days actually and he calls again. He asks if i'm upset with him or something but i already told him that i just want to be friends nothing more. They really start showing interest when you appear not to care. But i cant bother with this roller coaster anymore!

Posted by Scorpchick
I'm currently doing this with my virgo that i have feelings for. I'm distancing myself from him because i feel for him and can't be just friends when this is going on. I know he likes me but is real scared of commitment and stuff so when we began to get real close...he started flirting with other girls and whenever someone asks him if he likes me.....he says he doesn't.

The sad part is is that he won't stop staring at me and i get the feeling that what i'm doing is hurting him...like he can't figure out why i'm avoiding him....so i'm trying to let it go but it feels like he won't let it go. He mirrios what i do anyway.

Nah not hurting him, your more like meeting him eye to eye, he has to GIVE and COMPROMISE so he's weighing it all out, mirroring you, it's like a stare down, who will break first kind of thing, the person that breaks first is the person that is more invested and which tells him you need him, you never want a man to get that familiar and comfortable with you or he will not pull his weight.

he also wants you to cave in so he can feel the sense of power and control he has over you, so he can say to himself look see, that's why I don't want her, she's low status, she's groveling pleading for my time and attention, ugh who needs a woman like that LOL! Sorry not laughing at you scorpchick, I have sincerely been were you are. It may feel bad to leave him alone but that is the best thing you can do, if he wants you then he has to GIVE and GIVING MEANS HE'S INVESTING, if you ladies are the only ones giving then you are the only ones investing and your the ONLY ones HOLDING ON and the more you try to hold onto a man the more he runs....It's better to lean back and just respond to him then to chase him, if you chase a wild horse it will run, men run from women who GIVE too much.

Your virgo know why your avoiding him, he's trying to come back without having to, he's attempting to suggest to you through staring that you should INITIATE/INVEST in coming back to him, if you do, nothing will have changed, you will still be on the ass end of the relationship.

Let him come to you, show you that he's interested in some kind of emotional investment with you, if not then let hims stare, better to let him stare then to beg and take his crumbs.

I'm sorry but I completely disagree with tiki's first post.

That sounds like a way to drive him further away and totally put you off his radar.
To me it sounds as though he is shy and unsure. He probably believes he has been friendzoned and doesn't want you to get freaked out by his advances.

Have you made it clear to him, that you are interested?

"That sounds like a way to drive him further away and totally put you off his radar.
To me it sounds as though he is shy and unsure. He probably believes he has been friendzoned and doesn't want you to get freaked out by his advances."

her words:However, if I ever try to bring up anything too personal or too emotional. He gets extremely uncomfortable and closes off. If anyone says anything about the two of us being together. I get the same reaction. He freaks out and goes into his shell. Much of the time he acts like he could care less when I talk about anything personal about my life, but yet he can't stay away from me. He's always right there.

He's not being friend zoned, unsure yes but shy hell no, he's completely resistant to being anything but friends with her, the best course of action, the most effective is when a man says sorry I'm not feeling anything but friendship is to jump ship before things escalate and someone gets hurt, it's her responsibility to say how she feels and back off as to allow herself some time to get past her feelings or to completely cut ties, backing out of the friendship zone with a man you love or like is the responsible thing to do YET many women don't, they hang on hoping for change and go through tremendous pain, confusion and anxiety over it

Per my own understanding, if a man says he wants friendship there is nothing a woman can say or do to change his mind outside of leaving, he may miss her enough to turn it around and give her more of himself, now she can TRY to get a reaction by dating other men and moving on with her life it has been known to work but even that is not the most effective course of action, cutting ties with men that you feel you love or have very strong feelings for is my method, is what I advise women to do but inevitably it's up to each individual to take there own course of action.

I guess my moral of the story is don't hold onto people that don't want to be held onto PERIOD, let them go

I can't disagree with your moral.

But as a Virgo man, I can only speak for my kind in this situation.
His reactions are very indicative from my point of view that he is afraid of the way he feels for her and I think a push is all he needs.

I could be wrong, but c'est la vie.

VirgoSweetie: Believe me. He's got me good.

Okay. So, are you gonna get him?

Ask his ass out for a date...

Get this shit resolved, before you both fossilize...

"His reactions are very indicative from my point of view that he is afraid of the way he feels for her and I think a push is all he needs."

That's interesting what you said about the push is all he needs, well how should she push him? It's clear that everytime she pushes he pulls away, so how would you suggest she approach him without him feeling his freedom is being compromised? How could she push him without him digging his heels deeper into the ground or just all out avoiding any kind of discussion? It would be interesting to get a males point of view on this issue, maybe you can help them out.

Per my own experience the more a person tries to push, the more resistance she will meet UNLESS there is another way, a better way...

Posted by DyarStra??_e

VirgoSweetie: Believe me. He's got me good.

Okay. So, are you gonna get him?

Ask his ass out for a date...

Get this shit resolved, before you both fossilize...

I think DY answered my question LOL

The Best Way for a Virgo Woman to get a Virgo Man is to ask him out.

If he accepts, it's all over. If he refuses, it's all over.

But, at least all doubts are resolved...

A Virgo Woman can't possibly wait for a Virgo Man to make the first move...

He's too smart for that bullshit...

What does he want from me?

Reassurance.

Posted by DyarStra??_e

What does he want from me?

Reassurance.

you got the DY greenlight...go get your man girl d:

Have I made it clear to him that I am interested— No, I've been as obvious as I possibly could be. Hoping that he would eventually take the hint. It's kind of like the "elephant in the room". The thing everyone knows is there, but no one talks about.

I have been wondering lately though. It is possible that he is just as "scared" as I am? We are so much alike its scary, and I know how I am feeling about all of this. I really wonder if he is having the same fears, which is partly why I am getting these reactions from him. The only real difference is that I can express my emotions "easier" (venus in cancer here) than he can. He closes his off, and retreats into his shell.

So that being said, I think he either knows and just wants to be friends and avoids it, or he knows but there is just enough doubt/self-doubt to make him to afraid to take the risk. (Which is where I am).

One of us is going to have to take a leap of faith. I know enough about Virgo Men to know that it is going to have to be me. I would really really like a little more reassurance from him before I did that. Stop holding my breath on that one right?

Posted by VirgoSweetie

One of us is going to have to take a leap of faith. I know enough about Virgo Men to know that it is going to have to be me. I would really really like a little more reassurance from him before I did that. Stop holding my breath on that one right?

Well like I said, sounds to me as though he is going through the same thing.

Let me make this clear, for ALL women.

Small hints, do NOT work!
Big hints, do NOT work!
Obvious hints, do NOT work!

Just come out with it!
Be a straightforward and dominant Virgo!

Hoping that he would eventually take the hint.

You can keep hoping, but the fact is: We don't take hints!

My Scorpio had to get a coworker to kick me in the ass before I took the hint -- and poor Debra had dropped hints for MONTHS prior to that.

Stop holding my breath on that one right?

Yeah, unless you want to suffocate!

You're a Virgo. Honestly assess the facts at hand, and decide if you want to explore the possibility of a relationship with him. If so, you're gonna have to act first...

I personally being a woman would not ask him out but that's just me, my opinion is you won't feel the feelings you crave to feel when your the one being put into the dominate roll of asking, most women want to feel desirable, feel soft and beautiful and wanted, yet if you take on the pursuer role, don't expect to feel that great, he will be lazy and stingy in his giving emotionally. Yet the men are saying take a risk, you have to decide

If you do ask him out, you may want to let him DO something, plan the date, the time, pick you up, make him work or he will not treat you right.

I understand what you are saying there Tiki. Part of me wants the fairy tale of the guy sweeping me off my feet. What woman doesn't? I know that is something I will never get from him. Even if we do form a relationship. I know I won't get it.

Luckily, I am a very observant person and highly highly analytical. (My most dominant virgo trait). I tend to be able to see all the little things. Honestly, in any of the relationships I have had in the past, those were the things that meant the most to me.

stringsattached I have to admit your writing kept me giggling and fascinated and I'm a girl LOL!! Straight girl, just had to say that...my thoughts, it seems you have this way about you that is awesome and fascinating and mysterious which is A HUGE COMMITMENT PHOBIC MAGNET, it's like you have a beacon on your chest that will allure these kind of men in, CP men love challenging women yet they will opt for easier women as well, they bore fairly quickly and easily, he can't resist but he can't commit to being with you either. Now I know people say don't play games but let me tell you per my own experience that is the ONLY way to get a man like this...all the fair game rules do not apply to CP men.

Posted by VirgoSweetie
I understand what you are saying there Tiki. Part of me wants the fairy tale of the guy sweeping me off my feet. What woman doesn't? I know that is something I will never get from him. Even if we do form a relationship. I know I won't get it.

Luckily, I am a very observant person and highly highly analytical. (My most dominant virgo trait). I tend to be able to see all the little things. Honestly, in any of the relationships I have had in the past, those were the things that meant the most to me.

If you know you won't get the fairy tale then your half way there, all you have to do now is decide if it's a deal breaker for you. Least your not in denial like a lot of women, you seem to know what your risking if you decide to take it there. If you know you NEED to feel desired, you want the whole woo factor, him chase you factor then he most likely is not your guy but yet again maybe there are factors that will balance it all out, it's the risk you take and you being highly analytical will be able to discern if it's worth it or too risky emotionally for you to go there.

Posted by StringsAttached
Wow, tiki, you're on 4 burners. I just can't get enough of your psychology! LOL. Good stuff.

LOL!! I am cracking up, your post really are fun to read, as for all 4 burners, I have been through enough CP battles to know I can't be on pilot when dealing with CP men, they are not your average, you have to be ON all the time or get played, I have had my fair share of these assclowns many moons ago. Gosh those were the days LOL, so glad I out grew that phase of my life.

Posted by StringsAttached
Cajun, I think you're coming from your own frame of reference . . . as you would easily (?) ask a woman out and likely don't play your girls like they're game pieces. Love your input all the same.

Haha.

My First girlfriend, Libra, asked someone to get me to come to her.
My Second girlfriend, Scorpio, was hinting all lots of things, I took my time and only asked when I was comfortable.
My Third girlfriend, Scorpio #2, made strong hints again, removing doubt
My Fourth girlfriend, Aries, was straightforward and left no doubt in my mind.
Fifth and Final, Sagittarius, she asked me to take her to church and gave me her number first time we met

Call me spineless, I could care less. I can't stand rejection and I refuse to put myself out there if I am not met halfway.

That's why I'll likely never get with a Cancer or Capricorn.

Sorry Cajun but your LAZY...I say that with the kindest sweetest tone, your hate of rejection has made you completely lazy when it comes to women and your 20, you will not be able to get away with this after a certain age...notice these are EX girlfriends for the exception of one and she's probably on the path of doom like the rest of the exes...

LMAO! I have a ton of slogans so you never know...These CP men can have a woman begging okay and it's no joke! If a woman has ever had her self worth and pride tested, he's the man that will do it.

My point in that statement is this, if you don't want to be taken for granted then it's important that a man make some sort of emotional INVESTMENT, THIS IS HOW HE BONDS with you or at the most you can tell if he has the capacity to bond with a woman and I'm not talking about men like DY the men that are RELATIONSHIP READY, I'm talking about straight up and down RESISTENT commitment phobic narcissistic men, the man-boys, the bad boys.

It brings balance to a budding relationship if a man is DOING his part, the progression of the relationship will move along smoother whereas, the woman will feel balanced, loved, wanted, appreciated YET if your the one predominantly DOING all the relationship work such as calling first, picking him up, initiating any kind of contact FIRST, following him around online, thinking about him all the time, paying his way, setting up the date and emailing him the itinerary, flying to see him, thinking about him all the time, finding ways for him to see you (a few examples) THEN your the one investing more and the person DOING more has less power then she finds herself STUCK because she's investing and spending her time, her thoughts, her energy on this RESISTANT MAN and his attitude lots of the time is he can take it or leave it, WHY? Because he's put nothing into it and he's risking NOTHING if she leaves and this creates LAZINESS in a man, he know the less he does the MORE POWER HE HAS in the relationship so he can just walk away with no desire to mend or fix or move forward with you. (I know I say you but I'm not speaking about you specifically stringsattached) so if any of you find yourselves DOING too much THEN STOP IT, you are only creating a huge imbalance which creates neediness, codependence, anxiety, frustration, helplessness and hopelessness....STOP DOING and if it doesn't get done then it doesn't get done, you will get bored and you will leave the clown!

Not everything I say will resonate with women but there are women that DIG what I'm saying...

slaps face I must lighten up, your aight cajun, stringsattached is right, your willing and that is a good thing considering all of the scary clowns that resist even meeting half way after the chase is over....

This topic became very interesting 🙂

So avoiding him is the best option?....the amount of times he has tried to gain my attention in the past is countless...but as of late, he hasn't been doing this. It's weird because it was only a few days ago that i posted about virgos "word play" and how they go about showing someone they like them....yet i found out that he has told one of my close friends that he doesn't know how to tell me "no" without "tipping me off the edge" ——

I was a bit upset when i heard this....he has been saying he does like this other girl(which i find weird because he's very private and doesn't really tell people what he truly thinks and feels...i mean, he had to have a few beers under his belt to open up to me lol) to other people but it really feels like he won't let me go (which is why i'm avoiding him...to see what he does)..he can't honestly expect me to be friends with him after 8/9 months of complete courtship? (whenever someone asks him "if you don't like her then why did you lead her on?..and all he does is deny everything)

Reading this thread is very entertaining! You guys really got many good points on the subject, but I still strongly believe in that the only way to get a Virgo man -a CP or a RR (relationship ready)- is to gain his trust. And since being straightforward is required to build trust by definition, a woman should not have any problems asking the man to take her out. What matters on the other hand is timing. (No, I am definitely not a specialist, this is just my two cents).

ah the pulling when u take a step back.i do this when i like someone BUT not ready to give him what he wants i.e commitment. . i am putting someone through this right now and i have put a few through this before,they waited and waited & thought they could take it but gave up in the end. i felt relieved but i liked them hmm. he wants to go with the flow and he's made that clear. . . it will be a long roller coaster ride if u dont walk away

Posted by Lissanth
This is the same with my virgo ---i decided to end it and when he got back into the country last saturday he went out to a party and my friends were there which he knew would be there and he expected to see me but i didnt go. The next day he text me telling me he was back home and asked if i was ok etc i never replied then hours later he called me but i missed the call and i never called back (i would normally call him back) the next day he called again --i missed the call once more but i didnt call back either then he called again and this time i answered. We spoke for a while and he asked to see me i said no but he kept asking and i still didnt want to see him. He called me later on in the night but i was out so i didnt take the call. He never called back and neither did i. Couple days pass--about 2 days actually and he calls again. He asks if i'm upset with him or something but i already told him that i just want to be friends nothing more. They really start showing interest when you appear not to care. But i cant bother with this roller coaster anymore!

Posted by Scorpchick
This topic became very interesting 🙂

So avoiding him is the best option?....the amount of times he has tried to gain my attention in the past is countless...but as of late, he hasn't been doing this. It's weird because it was only a few days ago that i posted about virgos "word play" and how they go about showing someone they like them....yet i found out that he has told one of my close friends that he doesn't know how to tell me "no" without "tipping me off the edge" ——

I was a bit upset when i heard this....he has been saying he does like this other girl(which i find weird because he's very private and doesn't really tell people what he truly thinks and feels...i mean, he had to have a few beers under his belt to open up to me lol) to other people but it really feels like he won't let me go (which is why i'm avoiding him...to see what he does)..he can't honestly expect me to be friends with him after 8/9 months of complete courtship? (whenever someone asks him "if you don't like her then why did you lead her on?..and all he does is deny everything)

It seems he wants to play but he's afraid you can't handle it. Tipping you off the edge as if your going to lose your mind if he doesn't give you what you want so it seems he may be avoiding YOU. I keep hearing the recurring saying he's not that into you but your good enough for NOW theme playing in my head. Only you can decide what the best option is yet if it were me that would be all I needed to hear to leave the man alone, your pride and dignity is at stake.

I believe virgos tell people how they feel yet that person can't be an immediate threat to there freedom, you seemed to be a threat because you have these strong feelings, feelings that are not reciprocal and per my understanding men will not show so much of themselves when the dynamics is imbalanced this way.

IMO what you call courtship is probably him just dating until the right girl comes along, something I'm noticing a lot with women, the labels, they label things as courtship as if things are leading to longterm exclusivity and they are not even close to this in the man's mind, he's just dating and getting his feet wet, this misunderstanding can create a lot of tension and conflict and hurt.

Great thread. However, I agree with the straighforward approach. I mean you really have nothing to lose. It's a lot better than losing your mind over whether he likes you or not.

Posted by gemmygem
Reading this thread is very entertaining! You guys really got many good points on the subject, but I still strongly believe in that the only way to get a Virgo man -a CP or a RR (relationship ready)- is to gain his trust. And since being straightforward is required to build trust by definition, a woman should not have any problems asking the man to take her out. What matters on the other hand is timing. (No, I am definitely not a specialist, this is just my two cents).

Gain trust with a CP man HA! That's a delusional thought at best, your trying to MAKE him feel something for you through your waiting and friendship, good luck with that one honey, it has never worked and you will twist yourself up trying make it fit, believing that friendship will make a man fall in love HA! LOL! Good luck with that....A man either feel it or he don't, no amount of friendship will make him say hmmmm gemmygem is so great, I think I love her LMAO!!! SMH

Your agenda has always been to have more, I hope you don't believe he's not onto your agenda for one second. Yet I know how staunch you are on WAITING, wait away...I'm sure you don't feel all that great inside waiting but hey it's your life, if you want to spend it desperately waiting then so be it, just remember there are other men that would love to NOT make you wait.

What's so bad about waiting? As a fire sign I always think about now now now. Believe me I hate waiting. However some of my closest friends and family members are Virgos. They love to wait. I had a virgo boyfriend that waited until I developed feelings. I realized that was the richest relationship I've been in just because of the waiting, while others seemed very superficial.

Scorpchik know if he likes her, it's the not liking her that is setting her off balance, she was not ready to hear he's into someone else especially after all the time spent with him during what she thought was the courting phase...if was ready for her she wouldn't be on this up and down roller coaster ride...

Scorp only you can decide to stick around and wait it out. Keep your eyes peeled but I'm sure you can find better things to do than chase a man, wait on a man, that is not all that into you right now.

Women cannot CONVINCE a man to be in her life, there is nothing she can say or do, not even trying to be his friend, I wish ladies would stop trying to MAKE a man like and love them by being totally available and friendly, it doesn't work like that for a man, he either feels it or he doesn't, PERIOD, if he's feeling it she will know because she will not be able to get rid of him, he will be constantly and consistently in your life, if he's not feeling it then he's in and out, he's up and he's down, he's hot when your not...all that, when we chase men, HANG AROUND men that aren't sure we LOSE our power, we lose the power to say how we feel be it hurt or not, we lose the power to say anything, to have anything, everything is on his terms. If you feel you lost your power in this relationship Scorp then lean back for awhile as I'm sure your doing.

Posted by sweat.lioness
What's so bad about waiting? As a fire sign I always think about now now now. Believe me I hate waiting. However some of my closest friends and family members are Virgos. They love to wait. I had a virgo boyfriend that waited until I developed feelings. I realized that was the richest relationship I've been in just because of the waiting, while others seemed very superficial.

Waiting in HOPES of having more with a man is not in a womans best interest, her self esteem will take a huge hit during that waiting period, there is nothing wrong in and of itself but a woman waiting sends out becomes a poster child for desperation and those vibes will CREATE RESISTANCE in a man, especially a man that is not sure about her and desperation doesn't make him feel she's the better option, especially with a commitment phobic man.

If women want to wait then wait but she better make it clear to herself why she's waiting or she will be filled with anxiety, desperation and hostility. Truth is needed when a woman chooses to wait, once she gets down to the bare bones of truth then and only then will she know if waiting is in her best interest, I do find that many women wait in HOPES of GETTING what she wants, that alone will create neediness and desperation and men will smell it and just RESIST all her efforts. It's not in a womans best interest to wait for a man to like her, she doesn't have any power, that is why so many women on DXP feel powerless and frustrated, they are INVESTING in high risk relationships. Yet if waiting is in her best interest then she will go get her degree, go to school, she will work 1 or 2 jobs, continue doing what makes her happy, she will create a great life for herself, her focus will be mainly on herself.

Posted by tiki33
Sorry Cajun but your LAZY...I say that with the kindest sweetest tone, your hate of rejection has made you completely lazy when it comes to women and your 20, you will not be able to get away with this after a certain age...notice these are EX girlfriends for the exception of one and she's probably on the path of doom like the rest of the exes...

This statement really hurt my feelings....

Posted by Cajunspirit

Posted by tiki33
Sorry Cajun but your LAZY...I say that with the kindest sweetest tone, your hate of rejection has made you completely lazy when it comes to women and your 20, you will not be able to get away with this after a certain age...notice these are EX girlfriends for the exception of one and she's probably on the path of doom like the rest of the exes...

This statement really hurt my feelings....

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Sorry, I sincerely apologize, hope i'm forgiven...

To clarify cajun, I did not say that to hurt your feelings, I said that because you are not actively doing what your programmed to do, to not use that male genetic programming creates LAZINESS, your resistance to seek a woman out and validate her as someone you feel is the best, is special enough will thrust you into being with women you are not that into, as you get older you will look back and realize how much you settled unless you begin to raise up and DO something to have the best instead of living on the path of least resistance. CONQUER YOUR FEARS

VS: Part of me wants the fairy tale of the guy sweeping me off my feet.

He will - once he knows for sure that's what you want...

I'm not saying go up to him and ask him for a date. I'm saying make it obvious to him that you're interested in more than just friendship...

When I know I'm on certain ground, I have no problem taking the initiative... Until then, CAUTION is the word I live by...

I would buy all this CP VirGuy claptrap except... all the VGs I know in RL went after The Woman He Wanted.

If he ain't making a move, maybe you're not The One who moves him...

I know VGs married to Aries women - not the most patient Sign out there!

Yeah, I had to have a Bunsen burner lit under my ass, but I did eventually make a move on a Scorpio woman I thought was way outta my league...

LOL@Rollercoasters, merry-go-rounds, fire-blazing hoops...that about sums it up

I would not discourage a woman from asking a man out, I think it's very empowering, sexy and confident but please make sure he is actively participating, let him choose a great place to eat, maybe drive if it's safe, bring you flowers, do something that says I'm open and interested

if she has to ask, book the reservation, set the date, pay for the date or pay your half, then step right up folks, you just bought yourself a one way ticket full of Rollercoasters, merry-go-rounds, fire-blazing hoops to crumb snatching assclownville.

Posted by StringsAttached

Posted by tiki33
if she has to ask, book the reservation, set the date, pay for the date or pay your half, then step right up folks, you just bought yourself a one way ticket full of Rollercoasters, merry-go-rounds, fire-blazing hoops to crumb snatching assclownville.

I not only fully agree but I hereby nominate tiki33 to answer my mail when I'm away from my desk! LOL.

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LOL!! Don't put me to work just yet d:

So avoiding him really is pointless for me because he's not into me anyway and was just playing games with my head?

even though there were telling signs that he was into me or could still be into me?...okay i teard up a little just thinking that he has played me for his own amusement

i'm still not going anywhere near him which is hard seeing as we both work togethre in the same department.

Posted by tiki33
To clarify cajun, I did not say that to hurt your feelings, I said that because you are not actively doing what your programmed to do, to not use that male genetic programming creates LAZINESS, your resistance to seek a woman out and validate her as someone you feel is the best, is special enough will thrust you into being with women you are not that into, as you get older you will look back and realize how much you settled unless you begin to raise up and DO something to have the best instead of living on the path of least resistance. CONQUER YOUR FEARS

Who says I am programmed to do that?

I don't need anybody, people always fail me and I enjoy being alone.

Call it laziness if you shall, but I don't see it like that.

Being rejected is probably the most hurtful thing I have ever felt, If I don't have to deal with it, then why should I?